Elliott: Poems

May 2017 · 387

I wait

Elliott May 2017

I wait

Eye's all around. Watching me.
I feel them. I can't see them.
I know they're here. I wait.

People all around. Judging me.
I see them. I don't know them.
I'm scared of them. I wait.

Hand's on my back. Ready.
I feel them pushing me. Pressing on me.
They can't wait. I'm scared.

Oxygen stopping. Suffocating me.
I feel it. The anxiety.
It won't go away. I wait.

Voice's all around. Talking to me.
I hear them. I listen to them.
I don't respond. I wait.

Tears trail. My voice trails.
I lay back. Listening.
I'm still. I'm gone.

#depression #anxiety #nsfl

Sep 2015 · 315

Untitled

Elliott Sep 2015

Untitled

It's just not normal is it?
The thoughts you have?

You want to be just like them.
Normal.
But the thoughts keep coming.

Can It be a reality?
Can it be true?

No. It can't.
And you can't make it.

Science just isn't there.
You're not smart enough.
And you don't have enough money.

Research is hard.
Paying attention isn't your strong suit.

It's only fictional.

Apr 2015 · 999

Trip

Elliott Apr 2015

Trip

She starts gathering up her things.
She's getting ready for her trip.

No one aware.
No one who cares.

Her pillow is harder,
Her pill bottles full,
Her bag is waiting,

And now she's ready to leave.

Not yet.
Not ready.
Not alone.

Fighting with herself, or rather her friends.
The one's who are her voice.
THE voice's.

Trying to plan on still.
For they have yet to begin getting ready.

Not smart.
Not scared.
Not brave.

They've made up their minds.
They've packed their bag's.
They're ready to go.

Her knife, her friends, her sanity.
Is ready.

#runningaway

Feb 2015 · 543

Not Okay

Elliott Feb 2015

Not Okay

I'm not okay.
My heart feels like bursting,
My eyes feel like an ocean.
She's not okay.
Her ears are now a drum,
Her nose is a busted vein.
He's not okay.
His arm is a chopping board,
His leg's are empty.
It's not okay.
They are in pain,
They are in need.
We are not okay.

#suicide #cutting #sad #depression #lonely #death #depressed #alone #hurting

Jan 2015 · 2.0k

The Worst MMO RPG of All Time!

Elliott Jan 2015

The Worst MMO RPG of All Time!

My life is different now.
Like it's a game that's been updated.
And I am the main character.
And I'm always low on stamina and health.
Countless restarts, as though I've messed up the level.
But time still goes on and the level changes.
The game is a mess with the only mission to beat being depression.
The NPC's are all non talk-able pixels.
There are random jump scares and flashes of horror and gore.
Hard problems and puzzles to beat, with out the right answer.
No matter how many times I hit save, my progress is still missing.
My story line is incomplete.
No explanation or the controls.
No main objective, rather than surviving.
There are no cheat codes or a guide to help me.
It's hopeless.
There is no quitting.
There is title screen or pausing.
There is no end.

#sad #gamer #tired #games #waiting #gaming #rpg #coding #npc

Nov 2014 · 1.8k

Lunch?

Elliott Nov 2014

Lunch?

Closed computer.
Lying girl.
Sick girl.
Tired girl.
Puke, tears, and blood.
Creepy colour pallet.
The colours dance over the floor and walls.
Crying is quieted by the loud students.
Blood is cleaned with water.
Puke is going up and down, never choosing a path.
Forks, trays, and knives in her hair.
Her friends don't notice.
She's not sleeping.
And never has been.
She's not breathing.
Oxygen escaping fast.
In and out.
In and out
In and out.
She's gone.

Lunch was a *****. Gross. Don't go to school sick okay? My friends literally thought I was sleeping. Wow.

#sad #help #sleeping #sick #school #high #fml #lunch #cryings

Oct 2014 · 914

Help

Elliott Oct 2014

Help

I learned today to ask for help, when I'm in pain.
You learned this too.
So, then why when I asked you for help you didn't notice the tears falling from my eyes?
The blood running from my arms?
Am I that invisible, or can you just not tell?
Please help me.
I...I need help really bad...
I'm balling.
My eyes are red and burning.
My arm is sore and red. Stained.
My hear feels like it's being smashed.
I can't even look at you.
Please help me.
It hurts so much.
Not being able to tell anyone.
Why?
Why can't you see?!
Help! Help! Help...
I...guess...it's over....

#sad #dying #depression #lonely #pain #crying #hurt #help #splash

Oct 2014 · 586

Helper Monkey

Elliott Oct 2014

Helper Monkey

Talking about her,
She makes me sick.
Looking at you makes me cry,
You never seem to notice.
The truth is in front of you,
You're going to just get crushed.
I can't save you,
She can't control your life.
I tried helping,
I ended up getting smashed.
My eyes were on fire,
tears stained my phone.
Both you and another stayed up all night,
Trying to help me.
The tears kept coming,
So did the hurtful words.
Not friends.
Stupid.
Dangerous.
Lier.
No one could help.
I gave up,
Nearly taking my life.
Still giving you glares of pain.
Why wont you listen?

I'm better, for the most part...Please listen to your friends.

#friends #depression #pain #sadness #crying #listen

Sep 2014 · 560

Where I'm From

Elliott Sep 2014

Where I'm From

I'm from moving around and many friends. Around the world and in my neighborhood.
Forgotten memories and forgotten life.
Left alone in the dark, crying until my eyes are red and on fire.
Keeping every memento I've ever gotten.
I'm from deep thoughts and long nights of research.
Not sleeping for three days straight.
Page after page of books.
New followers and information.
I'm from years of bullying and being different.
Twitching and raptor hiccup.
Hair and clothes.
Like and dislike.
I'm from a world of imagination.
Books that take me on a journey through worlds I wish I could be apart of.
Pictures and drawing I've drawn as a child.
Games that explain more than my schools could ever.
I'm from a life time of pain and joy.
I'm from updating my knowledge of the world.
I'm from a world of uncultured swines.
I'm from a world I wish not to be in.
I'm from the unknown.
A life I've yet to figure out.
Keep dreaming.
I'm from a world of fast moving dreams, that I'll never catch up too.
I'm from Earth.

This is a poem for my honors English class. This gives you some info about me and my personal life. Anyway yeah.

#life #me #english #where #honors

Aug 2014 · 9.0k

Rainbow

Elliott Aug 2014

Rainbow

Drop of red,
Large orb in the sky of orange,
Sour yellow,
Soft lushes green,
Body's of wavy blue,
Romantic flowers of fake purple,
My Rainbow has bloomed.

Sweet red stripe,
Juicy orange fruit in my hand,
Bright Yellow petals,
Long green branches,
Silky blue scarf,
Deep purple bucket of hope,
My Rainbow has bloomed.

Red lace on a white dress,
Orange skinny swirls on a white dress,
Yellow collar on a white dress,
Green bow on the red lace,
Blue stripes on the green bow,
Purple string keep the whole outfit as one,
My Rainbow has bloomed.

My Rainbow is natural.
My Rainbow is the things I hold.
My Rainbow is my dress.

My Rainbow is me, is you, is everyone,
A Rainbow has bloomed over you.

#happy #joy #smiles #rainbow #colours

Aug 2014 · 5.8k

Black

Elliott Aug 2014

Black

Black is the corupt angle watching over us from above
Black is the dark pines covered by the snow
Black is the sound of loudness.
Black sounds like rain clouds coming from a far.
Black feels like broken glass.
Black feels like the hate in my heart.
Black taste like burnt cookies
Black taste like the cake under the frosting
Black smells like a week old corpse.
Black smells sour as candy!
Black is my soul~

Not racist! The colour!

#metaphor #hate #sadness #dark #black

Aug 2014 · 1.3k

Trigger

Elliott Aug 2014

Trigger

I'm going to do it.
I am going to pull the trigger.
Blood, flesh, and guts will fly every where.
Guess who's fault.
It ain't mine.
As I stand here, with you
The trigger is getting closer to getting pulled.
I hope you see the point I'm making.
It will go all over your freshly white painted walls,
New wooden flooring,
Brand new 90" flat screen TV,
And your cutlery.
The evidence will be every where.
No true way to get rid of it.
Now it's been swell...
Bye bye *******!
gun shot
body falls to the floor, blood and guts go every where
loud psychotic laughing
Bye bye *******~
As you were warned.
It was you , to pull the trigger.
My suicidal duckling.

#suicide #lonely #hate #sadness #death #guns #trigger #ducks

Aug 2014 · 412

Life, Not So Sweet

Elliott Aug 2014

Life, Not So Sweet

Life can go two ways, good and bad.
I see the bad, it's easy to imagination.
All the crime, death, and despair.
I can see my love ones dying before my eyes.
My house in the distance is being set a blaze.
And the cops aren't doing anything to catch the thief's robbing the bank.
All the time I sit there waiting for help, that won't be received.
I wish to find the good side of this not so sweet ,salty Life I live.

#life #hate #sadness #crying #school

Aug 2014 · 2.9k

Inner Demon Dream

Elliott Aug 2014

Inner Demon Dream

The demon inside craves power over you, it rips through your soul
A mark that can't be covered up, nor walked away from
You clench your heart and collapse
As you fall you see him
Death himself showed up
You fight back, winning you run out of energy
The demon crawls from your soul to your brain
He takes over your body
You are locked in a cage deep inside your own being
The demon kills people you care for, making you weak
As he murders you begin to wither away, with no help
The demon has won, for now
You see away out, your reach for the key
The demon stops you
The demon forgets killing you kills him, and killing him kills you
Your stuck no thought gone into your decision
Your stabbed in the heart by the demon
Waking you from this nightmare
You see him standing by your side
He is holding two things
One is a sharp ****** knife
The second is your heart
You see the heart and past immediately in the puddle of blood
You released hell on to this world and the next

Ehh...

#dream #life #sadness #death #demon #blood

— The End —