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I just want it to end.

The hopelessness, the fear,
the constant critic in my head:
I've lived with them all for too long.

All I've ever known is this war, this endless battle.
There's nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
To wish that it didn't is cruel.

But why can't the best solution be the simplest?
Why do I have to keep fighting?

At times it's deafening,
and I'm so exhausted.

Why can't I just lay down in no man's land
and let this battle fall silent around me?

Why can't that be the end?

Because... I'll never know what's possible.
  May 19 Vincent Legrand
CJ Tims
I am ashamed
At how broken i am.
I apologize
For the amount of stress
I may cause in the midst of your
Efforts of trying to keep me held together.
I apologize
that i continue to fall apart
Before your glue has time to dry.
I apologize
That every time you pick a piece of me up,
Yet another breaks.
I am trying.
You are fixing me slower than i am breaking,
And i am ashamed.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up
On a broken piece of nothing.
tonight at the dinner table
i couldn’t stop staring
at the empty chair

i blinked my eyes
and you were there
enjoying my mother’s fare.


i gave you a smile
i take back the missing
being an empty one

it is very full
overflowing
You used to be mine
but worlds did not align
nor did day, nor did time
so with chills down my spine
and hands intertwined
you were stolen into the sky
now the only hands the that bind
are both hands that are mine
i don't regret saying what i did
i felt and saw what it was
before it was

and might not be
When my lover asks me
How long will you love me
I reply till the moon falls from the sky
In other words forever
A love between two women
There's a bond that's so strong
I send her roses on her birthday
I'm going to pop the question tomorrow
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