I have lost myself,
While trying to be someone else,
Someone I can not be,
Something I can not do
I lost the peace, once I had
I lost the good in me
I lost my identity
I lost my personality
I don't know how to get it all back
I don't know how to get the old me

you didn't realize it, but our souls were intertwined. when you hurt, some part inside of me felt that same pain; even more so than you did, because it hurt me to see you hurt. and when you were smiling, my heart filled with warmth and happiness, because I knew how much you deserved that moment of serenity and joy. but when you changed, and disappeared suddenly, all I felt was nothingness because when you left, you took a part of me with you.

When did life
Stop being so simple,
That you don't remember a time
That it wasn't chaotic and difficult?
What happened to
The sweet childhood memories
Full of sunshine and fun times?
Why after each conversation with you
I want to cry?
And why after each conversation with you
I want to cry?
Where did it all go wrong?
When did the sun burn out?
When did rain become the only forecast?
How can you live
Knowing how many hearts you've broken?
How can I live
Knowing I'm breaking yours?
I'm sorry my love, but
I need you to hold me like you do.
And I know I'm not deserving of it,
But it brings a peace back to my existence.
It brightens up my black hole.
It placates my pain endured.
It heals my broken heart,
And keeps it safe in your hands.
And that,
Brings a true meaning back to the world.

I'm aggravated and livid.
Everything is temporary in life.
The people we interact with and the things that make us content.

It just makes no sense to me. Why must it be this way? Why must we resort to the excuse of "things just didn't work out" or "the timing was wrong" or "we grew apart."
It is ludicrous  to live this way, yet we choose to every day of our lives.
If things didn't work out with a relationship, do not grow apart simply because it is awkward to remain friends.

***** that theory.

You just lack the ability to see that it is all in your mind. Nothing is awkward about that situation unless you decide to make it awkward. And to the friends that used to be really close but fate pulled them different directions. Do not resort to the temporary nature of friendships. They are meant to last so it is up to you to make it happen.

I'm so sick of the good things leaving for no reason.
If something makes your heart smile and eyes light up like the sky, please do not ever let it go.
Do not fall subject to the temporary life.

-a.

When did I lose the ability to feel,
The ability to care,
The ability to love…
Am I alive?
I’m not sure
I think I died when you left me
My body is still here
But my heart is gone,
Ripped out, along with my soul
So what do I do now,
With this useless body I’m left with?
Lifeless and hopeless
There’s only one thing to do
Jump into the ocean, water so blue
But I can’t swim
Yes, that’s the point
One more hit off this joint
Splash – it’s over…