it's hard to imagine that you're not here with me.
it's even harder to imagine
that you're with her..
does she know you?
i don't mean your favorite color
or your middle name-
i mean does she really know you?
does she know
how you hate pizza sauce?
or how the restaurants
never get your simple hamburger order correct?
does she know
how you still listen to your dad's music or
does she laugh at your style?
does she
put up with your sudden mood swings when you don't remember your medicine?
when she reads your poems,
does she admire your amazing vocabulary?  
i hope she knows how lucky she is.
when you see rain,
do you think of us dancing in it?
do you think of me
when you see roses
or remember how you used to call me nicknames
only we understood?
do you think of me at all..?
a part of me doubts it.

he has no clue
that he's killing her
he has no clue
how much he means to her
he has no clue
that she would die for him,
live for him,
or **** for him
he has no clue
that she loves him
and it's killing her
in every single way

i want to get away from
everyone
and go into solitude.
i don’t want to run away
for only seeing other places.
i want to run away from all the
sadness and despair that seems to follow me
on every corner i turn.
i want to run away in more ways than
entering other physical cities.
i want to run away from my train of thought
and from my though processes alike.
i want to stop feeling
like i’m always the one that cares more;
the one who has everything to lose.
i want to stand out of body while
watching life collapse
instead of being thrown in the middle
like an intuition
to the destruction of all things orderly
while others scorn what they don’t comprehend.
for once,
i’d like to get away-
from the emotional,
mental,
physical,
trials and stop being guilty
of expecting the impossible.

I never know
where I fit inside your mind,

or if I'm even in there at all...

that to me
is an even scarier reality I think.