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I lay in my bed,
While thoughts of us drift
in and out of the consciousness
of my mind like holes
within a dream catcher.

When you take my hand
And hold me, we are like
Stars at night, in the
Galaxy far above the world
We live in.

With your hand touching my face,
And your lips on mine,
Together we burst into a

We burn so bright that the
Gods far above us,
Kneel down to feel the warmth
Of all that we are against
Their fingertips.

You and I, we are an extraordinary phenomenon.
Two heathens paired together
To make a perfectly balanced saint.

In a world unwitnessed of miracles,
Let us be a beacon of hope,
A reminder that true love is real,
But that a love like ours is rare.
If this is how it ended,
If this is how you died,
Let me finally take a breath.
Because I finally know the reason why.

If this is how I live,
If this is how I survive,
Let me finally close my eyes,
With no more tears to cry.

If this is truly over,
If our bond is truly gone,
Let me play your song,
So I can move on.

If this is how it has to be,
If this is honestly goodbye,
Let my heart hug you one more time,
To last me, this lifetime.

Four years to this day,
You were taken away.
I have suffered,
I have cried,
I have screamed,
I have grieved,
And a part of me died.
It’ll never make sense to me,
Why you had to go.
But it’s time to move on,
And it’s time to let you go.
But I promise you that I
Will carry you Forever in my soul.
For you, my big brother.
May your soul rest in ease.
I don’t want to be someone just like you.
I want you to love me for being someone like me.

Emotional, sensitive, passionate, eccentric are just some of the words that make me, who I am.

I don’t fit into any box that society has built, my personality, my uniqueness, suffocates in the confines of those walls.

I just want someone to look at me, and think, she outshines most of the stars.
I want someone to get to know me, and not just physically.

I want that deep intimate personal connection that you get when you know the other person, knows you like the back of their hand.

I want someone to think that the moon rises with me and the sun sets with me.
I want to be loved openly and unapologetic.

I want to be known.
I want to be learned.
I want to be loved, the way I’ve loved those who didn’t deserve my love.

But we’re only human
I’ve walked this world 1000 years.
And I will it walk it, 1000 more,
Because this world is dark.
Darkness has become my home.

Cursed into eternity,
Fearful of the light,
I walk the corpse filled alleys,
And barely notice the ****** needles pushed to the side.

I roam from one place to another,
Feeling alone.
My family has long been buried,
No-where is my home.

From street to street,
Past burned down churches,
Abandoned ghettos,
Leaving behind the ghosts of
People who have no tombstones.

No noise.
Dead silence.
The smell of decay.
Where there once were children,
But they no longer come out and play.

Where love once resided,
Is an empty black space,
Where my heart once was,
A shrouded coffin has taken its place.

My humanity is gone.
The fact of loneliness remains.
My memories I once treasured,
Are buried by your grave.
It’s burning in my throat.
Spewing from my mouth like flames!
This anger and hatred,
I’m no longer the one to blame!

You broke my spirit,
Spurned my love,
Tossed me away,
Like trash that no one could love!

I’ve kept quite for too long.
I’ve got your ***** laundry and it’s a mile long.  
You want to know how it feels,
To have your insides ripped  and peeled?
Just call me Hannibal Lecter,
The lies on the tip of your tongue,
Would make quite a meal.

I’m aiming for your spark
You have no heart to speak of,
so I’m gunning for your brain.
My words are the bullet that splatters,
Your so called logic, like rain.

You want to question my character?
Call plays on my behaviors?
Go ahead, do it,
I’ll survive every play you can think of.

There’s something dangerous about a woman,
With hatred on her mind,
You’ve committed ******,
I’m getting revenge for your crime.

You killed the old me,
She’s buried with no dignity,
Much like a phoenix I rise from her ashes,
And I dare you to try again.

I’m the lightning you’re frightened of,
I’m the rain that floods your world
I am the goddess of damnation,
The queen of filth and degradation,
I rise above all your mortal whims,
You can’t hurt me this time..
I Win...
I love you more than words can ever say.
The arguments & fights aside,
I will always want you to stay.
But at the same time, I believe
That I don’t deserve you,
Which is why I push you away.

The fact is, I have scars & open wounds from before.
But you see it as paying for his mistakes,
But I, I have to heal,
And make peace with this burning rage.

To be loved right, by the right man,
After years of being loved wrong, by the wrong man,
Has caused all my insecurities & fears to come out & play.
I know that you are being patient,
But I know that your patience will run out soon.

I know that you are different from anyone I have ever loved before,
I know that you are not at fault for past pain,
And if ever I regret anything,
Is that I didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved,
All the time.

I adore you,
And I Love You More, Than I Could Ever Scream....
In your home,
That is filled with dust,
And moth-balled filled drawers,
Are letters that were never sent,
And dead flowers fill your vases.

Your walls are lined with dusty photo frames,
With pictures that tell your story
In vivid color.

Pictures of you, when you were younger.
Pictures of you, in your 20’s,
When you ventured off to job corps
And met our father.

Pictures of all four of your marriages,
My brother’s first sonogram,
Followed by the nine months you carried him,
In your womb.
His baby pictures,
His school pictures,
Pictures of you and him,
Pictures of him just because,
In that light he looked like our father.

Frame after frame tells a story,
Of a mother with a child she loves unconditionally.
At the very end, hangs an
Empty picture frame.

That, is where you keep me,
The un-wanted.
This, is how you remember me,
The un-loved.
This, is how you reminded yourself,
That I was there running around,
On the edges of your vision, and memory.
But not important enough to you,
To put my picture in the empty frame.
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