The sun reminds me of me
There was a time when i was just like her
Very vibrant and warm
Now i don't even know who i am anymore
I'm beginning to lose my luster
Like a pearl not worn for so long
Self medicating with material things
In hopes that i will become whole and happy
But i end up collapsing like a pack of poorly arranged cards
I'm whole I'm complete
But i still feel like half of me is out there
Cold and lonely
I don't even wanna think about it
It makes me shiver
Being different is not something that can be taught
The discomfort i feel when i walk into a room where no one looks like me
The stares coming from humans who look at me as "someone" from a different planet
The confidence they emit when they ask if my hair is real
Everyday is a struggle for me, i fight everyday to include myself in places, things that they say are "made for all"
The moment a brother leaves the house we hold our hearts in our hands and the moment they get home we heave a sigh of relief
They might not know it but it is the truth
Everything about me and my people tell a story
From the crown of our head to the sole of our feet
Our hair styles, features, languages, accents, clothings, traditions
I can't teach you how to be black
You want the fun parts not the ones that will make you question why you are being mistreated
Being black is not a subject that can be taught
Even if i add it to the school curriculum
You will never understand it or be it
Enhance yourself all you want but being black is more than that
The beauty of being alive is you have the chance to be you
You have the opportunity to celebrate the ones who are different
To celebrate the differences together with them
Squash your thirst to be something you're not and something you will never be
And hold our hands so we can create a world where we all can be
Walking as slow and fast as I can
Breathing in and out as much as i can
Searching people's faces as i walk by
Seeing the wide simple smile and head nod which i know is a way of being nice
I can't tell how they feel at that moment
Are they ok?
Is all well at home?
Do they have real friends?
Are they screaming for help even though they look at me and smile?
Are they in abusive relationships?
Do they have loan sharks pounding at their door day and night ?
Do they like their skin?
Are they happy with what they see in the mirror?
I can't tell
Because they have a mask on
That mask, very deceiving and addictive
Once you have it on a couple of times
It becomes you, you can't let it go
You find yourself thanking the stars for that mask
That hides your pain and protects you at the same time
We all wear a mask everyday
We just pretend like we don't.
Before you walk away
From me, my life
Can I hug you just once?
I can hug your back
You don’t have to see my face
Which has become unpleasant to you
Can you hold me just once?
I don’t want to taste
The feeling of you ripping my heart out
Taking it with you as you walk away
Far away from me
So, put me to sleep
Leave as fast as you can in the wee hours of the morning
So that when I rise to the sun
I can face reality in peace
All I ask is to leave my heart behind
Please y'all should read, share and give me feedback! Thanks!
— The End —