I’ve got my laugh and cheeky wink
But that’s who I am on the fifth drink
And at this point I’ll tell the truth
With so much time, we are the youth
So pick my mind, aim for the brain
Learn too much, I’ll be whom to blame
The feeling’s short, it’s feeling long
It comes and goes, an endless song
All rise for the National Anthem
Guilt free lies and mild tantrums
Give the opera, I have the phantom
It’s organized, but all feels random

Staying up late til the light comes back
Thinking of things I should’ve kept in the past
I wish my mind and eyes could finally match
My brain feels dark, wish my sight was black
If I over drink, I over think, I wanna sink
Submerge me so my body feels equal
And once again, it never ends, all my zen
Used to be ten but now it’s zero and dull

Staying up late til the light comes back
My mind’s on **** I should’ve kept in the past
I wish my mind and eyes could finally match
My brain feels dark, wish my sight was black

The fire came, but the bridge wasn’t burned
Every scar I’ve had are ones I’ve earned
Deleting conversations from the earth
And the way I acted still makes me hurt
This is my fourth day in row being sober
Fourth day where I didn’t wish this was over
I’ll count my blessing like four leaf clovers
The love you gave makes the heat feel colder

I wrote a note with your name mentioned
But deleted every word within a second
The feeling is long and drawn out
But it’s nothing aside the bigger picture
And much like a small city on this planet
It’s only feels larger when inside of it

Deleting conversations from my phone
Ashamed of how I acted 15 hours ago
Putting down the bottle and not because
I finished the drink and got a buzz
Don’t translate what I write to how I’ll act
Forget guilt, I’m the one who’s been bad
I want my conscience to feel more exact
More to myself, more to a matter of fact
I was gone, girl, but I’m not feeling high
I was at my mirror, rehearsing goodbyes
If time heals all wounds right into place
Then all this time is all I need to stay

Winter feeling
Brain needs spring cleaning
Summer heated
Can’t fall for secrets

And word travels fast
The past is the past
Kick my heart in the ***
That’s all I ask

I’m not feeling black and white
More like dark grey and cream
Hot shower, turned down lights
I’m relaxed, at least it seems

I’ve been around the world inside my head
Hope I get flyer points for all of that
Heaven can wait for when I’m dead
I’m never thinking about leaving again