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--
Agnis Lynota Oct 2015
--
It was unintended,
My true love for you
Agnis Lynota Oct 2016
I am trying
            To fill this hole by myself
   To feel whole again

But my favorite thing about me
Was someone that I held
           Higher
                  than
                      myself

  But also someone
             Who didn't know
     How to hold me at all

   Oh how blinding,
          how powerful,
An emotion can be
Agnis Lynota Nov 2015
I think I've lost myself again
Agnis Lynota Sep 2015
I am out of breath,
I can no longer chase you,
You sprinted,
As if you were chasing something
And I'm just starting to be able to see
That you never once ran to me,
But I ran circles around your feet
Agnis Lynota Sep 2018
If you could see
All we could be
Would you take back
All that you said?

Your hands are up
But I can't give up
Time can't be up
I can't let go
Agnis Lynota Jan 2014
I'm missing a few people tonight
I'm missing a past lover
Past friendships
But most of all
I'm missing my past self
I'm missing my innocence
And how love was so close
But I was so naive
To the meaning
To the feeling
I'm missing my past self
Worrying of worries
That are grains of sand
To the inner struggles
That I endure
With every breath
That I take in
If only I cherished
What I lack today
Agnis Lynota Mar 2013
Your smile
Your dark eyes
Your rough hands
Your deep inhaled breaths
Your soft energizing lips

Shining
Staring
Grasping
Warming
Kissing


But I can only see and feel you with my eyes closed
Because I'm waiting for you to come back home.
Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
I may resent you,

     I may stop loving you,

         But I will never deny

              How beautiful you are

And how much I would've done

              To gaze at your face
                    for the rest of my days
Agnis Lynota Jun 2013
Was it all for nothing,
            or nothing at all?
This type of breaking---
            it's the reason why I don't fall.
Agnis Lynota Feb 2013
While you're away for these five months,
just remember that you will always be close
Because you stand in my thoughts, and pace around.

While you're away for these five months,
don't be afraid of what I may do
because anytime I'm on your mind, you're on mine.

While you're away for these five months,
smile every chance that you get,
because your happiness keeps me going.

While you're away for these five months,,
my heart will be away with you too,
because you are the owner, and I'm just the beholder.
Agnis Lynota Jun 2013
I have a crazy imagination...
I picture the sky to be dark during the day and bright at night
I picture flowers blooming beneath the earth rather than on its surface

I have a crazy imagination...
I picture birds swimming and fish soaring
I picture us with no gravity nor oxygen, yet still breathing

I have a crazy imagination...
I pictured me being in love with no walls to block me
I pictured my lovers arms holding me for an eternity

I hate my crazy imagination...
Because my imagination made a vivid picture of everything I imagined,
and now I'm left with you gone, something I am unable to fathom.
Agnis Lynota Oct 2013
I see the sun's light
Being reflected in the moon tonight
But the clouds cover the moon completely
Only the rays shining through can see
How terrible it must be
To give away your light for free
Only for something to be in the way
This is how I feel everyday
Agnis Lynota Jan 2013
Sticks and stones can break my bones,
but your words can stop my heart.
My thoughts run around you in circles
and they will run until we're torn apart.
I grip your lip with my teeth after we kiss,
because I'm not ready to stop there.
The chance we're taking on this love,
a regular soul wouldn't dare.
But the moon doesn't shine just for beauty
and we don't breathe because it's just.
The moon shines, we breathe, we love
because it must, we must.
Agnis Lynota Dec 2014

The way you tuck my hair
behind my sensitive ears
Always following with a kiss on my forehead
Then your lips are brushed down
to my blushed cheek
Where you kiss me again
Afterwards you hold my face and admire me
As if it's the first time you've seen me
And your smile shows
and your eyes glow
All for me
So this is what love means

Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
You can never run away from love

You can only walk

but eventually
You will climb to a peak
And the love will be outshined
By the breathtaking sight
Of the world at your feet
Agnis Lynota Jun 2018
Sometimes I fear
That the hate in this world
Is seeping through my skin
Taking away the joy
That I have had for life
That constant self reminder
To stay positive
--at times
Seems to be drowned
By the hatefulness
Of some people
Who just can't help it
Or who were never taught
Or who cannot be taught
There are days when I look up
To appreciate the sky's beauty
And feel the air tasseling my hair
With the sun warm on my skin
And I take it in
Because I'm afraid
The world has turned against itself
We have made fools of ourselves
Turning against each other
How have we not learned
That things are better
when we stick together
And I think everyone knows:
If we had a chance to pick
This is not the world we would have chose
Stop evolving into a species of hate
Because before we know it,
it'll be too late
I've been seeing so many negative things happening and it's so constant and saddening. I don't know if it's this age of social media that does a good job of reminding me of the things that go on in the world. I feel helpless at times knowing I can't do anything about them.
Agnis Lynota Feb 2013
Night sky,
heavy eyes,
cold sheets,
soothing tunes,
but I can't sleep,
because this comfy bed
is made for two,
all that's missing is you.
*If only you knew,
these troubles I'm going through.
Agnis Lynota Mar 2014
There's so much to this life that I cannot comprehend
Why we cannot see the one who created us
Why cancer as well as other horrific sicknesses linger
Why people who create a strong bond of love break it
Why people commit suicide
Why people commit homicides
Why death exists
Why I can only sincerely smile sometimes
Why people leave when they promised to stay
Why the sun is always expected to hide at night
Why the the wind changes direction
But the one thing I do comprehend
Is why I want and crave to feel love
In such an unloving world
*But why is love
so distant
Agnis Lynota Mar 2014
We walked under the night sky
With our fingers intertwined
And our hearts on our palms
We then sat in the grass
In front of a house that was unfamiliar
And we stared at eachother
In awe of what we knew we could create
He guided my back down to the grass
And kissed me ever so gently
Following that, he marked my neck
And everytime he looked me in the eyes
All while laying over me
I felt so weak, so vulnerable
But for once
I was okay with it
Because everytime my head
Is buried in his chest
I can feel his heartbeat excelerate
To the same pace of mine
Agnis Lynota May 2015
Your eyes were screaming
"Come near me"
And my body became obedient
As soon as you tasted my lips,
I felt your heart stop beating
But then I ran my fingers
Through your hair
And gently down your neck
And your heart made it sound like
You've been running for miles
You've been running and looking
For your home
But here you are
Home at last
With my body tangled in yours
Forming a masterpiece
With our love as the inspiration
Agnis Lynota Jun 2014
They ask,
how can you stay
with someone who doesn't care
They ask,
how can you love someone
who doesn't know how to love you back
They ask,
how much are you willing to go through
until you realize it isn't worth it
I respond
The care is there
but not for all to see
The love is unconditional
for a love between him and me
The journey does not end
until he sets my heart free

I cannot explain
what you cannot understand
simply because
I'm still figuring it out myself
Agnis Lynota Oct 2012
The eyes that are lucky enough to see this poem,
cherish your sight, because blindness is another's home
But there are more pros to being blind than cons
Our sight limits us to things like cells and ions,
but also things worth seeing like emotions and feelings
Sadly, most humans are made as judgmental beings.
which means we don't care to look at a person's personality
we just see what's on the outside and hope for congeniality.
Those who are blind cannot see us, but they can SEE us
because their sight of a person is simply a soul we cannot adjust.
They know when someone is worth being around by their voice
and they get to know wonderful people intellectually by choice.
Those who cannot see SEE so much better than we do
I wish I was blind, so I wouldn't have to be so blind too.
Agnis Lynota Jan 2013
You haven't left yet, but I already miss you,
Because I have been mentally preparing myself
For those three months when all that will be exchanged is letters.
And I will make those letters into a book about the way I feel for you.
Because you have torn out that pages of my heart and left me blank
Now my heart is ingraining a picture of you on the cover,
Because you aren't just a different page or a new chapter,
But you are my new story, you are my new beginning.
And so when I write these letters to you, I'll just be copying.
Copying the words that my heart has written inside of this new book,
Titled Love.
Agnis Lynota Sep 2019
I am just a drop of rain
That you flick away
I am the sun in summer
When you stay in the shade
I am the barren tree of winter
When you only photograph the fall
I feel like a bother to you,
Or nothing at all
Agnis Lynota Feb 2017
I don't know what to feel
Or
what to repress
Anymore
Agnis Lynota Sep 2014
I hate my heart
For never listening to my head
*It never will
It never will
Agnis Lynota Apr 2013
I stare at myself in the mirror,
But I don't see myself.
I see a lost misfit
Who cares only about the next drink
And the next cigarette.
I see a girl who knows what to do
But doesn't do it.
Not because she can't
But because she won't.
She hides behind her jokes and smiles
Just to avoid seeing people in her state.
And she hates being alone,
Because when she is her thoughts,
They take over her body
And increase her heartbeat
Then the girl faces the mirror
And oh how the tears fall,
When she looks for herself,
But sees nothing at all.
Agnis Lynota Jan 2013
Please don't let go,
Remember what we had?
On every star, I wish for you
Miss me yet?
I'm done waiting for you
Sorry for not loving you like I could have.
Everything beautiful ends too soon.
S**o soon.
Agnis Lynota Feb 2013
After a long day of doing absolutely nothing,
I love feeling warm water covering my skin.
As I slowly place myself in the bath,
I go in feet first and then I slowly descend in.
And the warmth of the water rubs off on my bare skin
I lay there for two hours at the least,
pondering what I have done, what I should've done.
Then I slowly get up and continue on with life.
If you learned something about me from this poem, it should've been this:
*I enjoy taking hot baths to prepare myself for hell.
Agnis Lynota Aug 2013
It's odd to me how someone I just met
Has made me have more self worth than I can get
Every word he says makes the sides of my lips raise
And everytime I see a picture of him I can stare at it for days

But tomorrow my heart will stop and time will stop

When we are at the same time in the same place
Listening to eachothers words while looking at eachothers face
I hope you kiss me softly as your words have touched me
Because you are so lovely

*And I would love for you to stay
Agnis Lynota Dec 2014

I have opened myself in a sort of way
That I have never been able to
I am comfortable in my own skin
I have ripped off my covers 
To put a permanent end
to the many years of night terrors
That made my future seem empty
Now, my future is clear and full
And my heart is finally at peace
With who I am
My life has finally changed
In my favor

Agnis Lynota Nov 2013
Mascara stained wet pillows are all I know
From the tears that fell while letting you go
And each tear represents your every smile
Mixed in with every mile
That your love couldn't withstand
And now my love for you is in my hands
Because you didn't want it anymore
Like you did once before
My bottom lip never stops quivering
And my heart is continually withering
From every memory and hope we had
And now I can't distinguish the good from the bad
Because the love I felt for you was blissful
But now the love is simply wistful
I have done nothing but grieve
From the moment you said you wanted to leave
And even though you've broken me in all ways
I stand by what I promised: "I will love you always"
Agnis Lynota Mar 2013
Dry your misty eyes love
and breathe in the clear air
Stop being so modest,
and make your teeth bare
Because this is what they want,
they desire to see you burn.
Don't give in to them,
because in time you will learn
That these troubles make for great seeds,
and you will grow much higher
than the always broken envious weeds.
Agnis Lynota Jun 2013
Speak softly*,
for the ears that shall hear you
will not shout a thing.
Agnis Lynota May 2016
Did you like how the sun kissed you
       When the cold breeze was over done?

Did you ever close your eyes
      When the sun was too bright?

And when the clouds came
    Did you ever have time to wait
            For them to move?

When I kissed you

When I smiled

When I felt distance

Did you ever feel
     Like I was the sun?
Agnis Lynota Jun 2013
You'll never know
the troubles I endured
just for the possibility
of our love to be cured
Agnis Lynota Apr 2019
I've come to realize:
Everyone feels the pressure
To sink
Or swim
But sometimes we forget
It's okay to float
Agnis Lynota Nov 2019
I had someone tell me
That I was perfect
That I am not
What I see myself to be
And I am so much more
Than I know myself to be
But you weren’t the one
In front of me saying those words
How I wish
You could see
What they see
How I wish
You could be
In love with me
Agnis Lynota Dec 2014

If you could
and you would
Then you should

Because

I love you
and I will
If you can

Furthermore

I can't imagine
the way I'd feel
In my head without you

Agnis Lynota Aug 2013
When I look at you, my eyes act as a sediment in the sea
exploring every inch of your greatness even though I am below you

When your kiss touches my lips, my heart acts as a speedometer
racing faster and faster after every kiss you push against me

When I touch you, my fingers act as an interpreter
showing you my appreciation for your being without words

When I am with you, my soul becomes inflamed
in denial that I am lucky enough to know your name

But...
When I am away from you, my body is without a purpose
with a fake smile as an act from a circus

*Since you are no longer here
My life seems unclear.
Agnis Lynota Oct 2018
I have so many people who are there for me

Who I can talk to

Who are there for me

Yet I can't help but to feel so alone

It's hard to hear yourself sound repetitive

To people who have nothing left to say

Simply because they cannot understand

Though I do not wish this on anyone

It would be nice to not go through this alone
Agnis Lynota Jun 2013
I heard a noise while laying in bed
I convinced myself it was all in my head
But the noise only became more amplified
Which made my heart stop and terrified
So I slowly walked to the attic door
Hoping to see nothing of horror or gore
I gently pushed open the squeaky attic door
And I could see the first few steps but nothing more
Yet I continued on with a candle as my guide
My fear was burning on the inside
I looked down while I took each step carefully
Then suddenly my candle blew out making it hard for me to see
So I stumbled down each step I had left to walk
Each one bringing me closer to the noises that talk
As I fell on the floor that I couldn't see before
I looked back up to see the closing of the door
I held my mouth in hopes that nothing could see me
Because I was blind and my body was walking freely
The loudest noise I made was with a tear that fell down my face
And moments later I felt something rub on my gown of lace
So I screamed and everything that I feared was facing me
All of this went on still while I couldn't see
And I felt soft touches and I heard dark voices
Now I wished I had never followed these noices
Everyday since that day I have been locked away
Hoping for a light to shine so I can find my way
Agnis Lynota Dec 2012
Our sweet perfect love, it is what I live for.
I cannot decide what I enjoy more
When I fall asleep safely secured in your embrace
or when I wake in the morning to your smiling face.
When we rome the town, hands locked, and enjoy the scenery
or when we stay at home, lips locked, and forget all of our misery
When you tell me "I love you, and that will never change"
or when you love me until the sun and the moon rearrange
When we talk about everything there is to this Earth
or when we say nothing but feel a sense of true worth
When you gently tuck my hair behind my ear
or when you grab my waist to draw me near
I love everything about you and me
I'm blinded by love, and I don't care to see.
But there is one impediment to our perfection, so it seems...
You are only real and alive inside of my hope filled dreams.
Agnis Lynota Mar 2014
All the lonesome day
I waste away
In my sorrows
In my could've beens
And as the sun departs
To show the night sky
I sit and cry
Because I am not
who I want to be
Agnis Lynota Oct 2012
I thought about my sunshine today, as I do everyday.
It's like everything in this world is connected to her somehow.
It has been a while since I thought about her voice and her smile.
And now that I got myself thinking about them, I cannot stop.
All I can do is think about her, cry and not know what to do.
Because I remember that same sunshine face living, breathing, smiling
but I also remember looking at my sunshine's fresh corpse, soulless and pale.
It is hard for me to believe life and death as one entity.
The same person who laughed and kissed my cheek
is the same person who now has no heartbeat.
The same person who made my world go round
is the same person who is dead now.
My sunshine is one with the pale moon.
If I could know for sure that she heard my words of closure,
then all of this wondering and sobbing could finally be over.
It's been a little over a year now since I've seen my sunshine alive.
and I continue to wake up everyday, hoping her death was a lie.
All I can do is think about her, cry and not know what to do.
because what good is kissing air and telling the wind "I love you".
Agnis Lynota Oct 2018
I'm tired of wondering

Wondering when these episodes will end

Wondering when I will feel normal

Wondering when I can go places without fear

Wondering when I can be present in the moment

Wondering when I will be goofy again

Wondering when I will be strong

Wondering when my life will be normal again

How I wish I knew how good I had it

When I was all there, when my problems

were nothing other than selfmade

And nothing that dictated every second of everyday
Feeling defeated today, hoping this feeling passes soon
Agnis Lynota Apr 2014
I must admit
That it's very dark
Underneath all this sadness
Underneath the lack of accomplishments
Underneath the could've would've should've's
Underneath the expectations that were never met
Underneath the times when I knew I shouldn't have
But I can still see
in this dark setting
Though
I am only able to see two things:
more darkness
as well as
A beam of light
seeping through the cracks
of everything that has brought me
to this place that I don't want to call home
So I will try
to forget of the things and the reasons
Why I feel so worthless,
Why I feel like I am just existing
in this world of people who think they know me
Because I'm great when it comes to a fake smiling face
And I'll admit there are times when I'm genuinely happy
But those moments are treasured due to their rarity
I'll never be able to erase how I feel at this moment
I'll never be able to take back the things
That made me this low to begin with
All I can do is reach for that faint beam of light
on top of all the things
That I did or didn't
And I hold my hands together everyday
Beging myself
To not only reach the light
But more so, to be a part of it
Agnis Lynota Aug 2015
A lover,
Who makes me feel
Like a woman
And a child
All at once,
Is what I crave
With an open heart
------------
Agnis Lynota Mar 2013
Twisting** my hair around my finger
Softly gripping my bottom lip with my teeth
Squeezing my upper thighs with my two hands
Deeply sighing with every other breath I breathe out
Trying not to stare into those dark hidden eyes
Because I yearn for you darling,
but that is all I'm so sure of.
Agnis Lynota Aug 2013
I'm as shapeless as the smoke that my lungs release
and I'm as lost as a small child in a large crowd
I want to feel lovely again
I wanted to feel wanted again.
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