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Jan 3 · 45
I Wish I Was Dreaming
Agnis Lynota Jan 3
It’s almost as if I woke up
In an alternate universe
Where everything I thought
Everything I felt
Was never true
And a heart I thought
To be gentle
Has left splinters in my fingers
I don’t know if this blood is mine
Or yours anymore
Dec 2019 · 46
I Know
Agnis Lynota Dec 2019
Sometimes I pretend
Like none of this ever happened
And I fall into happiness again
Like I did when I was with you then
But when my eyes open
I lose everything I had hope in
I know my heart doesn’t agree with yours
I know it’s best for us to close these doors
I know that you’re not for me
I know we’re not meant to be
I know I deserve a deeper love and care
I know that you’ll never get there
But with all these things I know
It’s still hard for me to let go
Dec 2019 · 249
Not Here, Not Now
Agnis Lynota Dec 2019
I think in another life
I already love you
Because I feel my soul
So closely to yours
And when I daydream
Of my future lover
It is your face I see
It’s as if my heart
Has been confused
In thinking
That you’re already mine
Oh how nice it would be
If you belonged to me
Nov 2019 · 159
Letting Go Of Being Let Go
Agnis Lynota Nov 2019
How long
Till I stop waiting
For you to realize
Letting me go
Was a mistake
There’s always a tricky point in the process of losing someone while detaching yourself, you have that one slither of you that hopes they will want you back, as if them coming back would be the best thing when you know in your heart it isn’t, but who doesn’t want to be wanted?
Nov 2019 · 35
Could I Be That For You?
Agnis Lynota Nov 2019
I had someone tell me
That I was perfect
That I am not
What I see myself to be
And I am so much more
Than I know myself to be
But you weren’t the one
In front of me saying those words
How I wish
You could see
What they see
How I wish
You could be
In love with me
Nov 2019 · 83
Worth Over Comfort
Agnis Lynota Nov 2019
I never thought I’d feel so thankful
For you leaving me
I have found that though
My heart is sore
And my eyes are damp
That this was the best thing for me
Because I lost myself
In the idea of what we could’ve been
And I became so codependent
While having to fill your cup
Only for you to leave mine empty
I must learn to love myself
In the most honest way
Where I will never allow
Comfort over my worth
If we are meant to be
We will be
But until then,
Thank you for reminding me
That I am much more
Than the way someone else loves me
Currently having a liberating ah-ha moment while feeling the pain of losing someone. We get so caught up in our emotional habits of questioning am I good enough? And if I am why did this person leave or do something to make me feel that way? You are as big or as small as you make yourself feel. Let’s get out of the toxic habit of basing our worth on others hearts
Oct 2019 · 130
Unraveling Love
Agnis Lynota Oct 2019
I’m trying to convince myself
That the sky is red
Because I shouldn’t love you
After all you’ve said
I’m trying to convince myself
That flowers don’t bloom in the spring
Because with everything I give
You have nothing to bring
I’m trying to convince myself
That the stars only show during the day
Because the hopes that I had for us
You’ve taken them away
I’m trying to convince myself
These fictional things are true
So that I can make myself believe
That I do not love you
Oct 2019 · 465
Gutted
Agnis Lynota Oct 2019
My eyes fill with water
That you poured in them
I know love isn't easy,
But am I supposed to feel this dim?
Oct 2019 · 53
Pulling
Agnis Lynota Oct 2019
Something about the presence of the ocean
Made me want to love you
As fiercely as I ever have
Did I want to mimic her waves?
The way she engulfed you
But after we left
You pulled back
Did you want to mimic her waves?
The way that she comes to me
Only to pull away again
Sep 2019 · 122
Thank You, George Costanza
Agnis Lynota Sep 2019
"I long for you"
We laughed at that phrase
Watching Seinfeld,
Like we do most days

But hearing that line
And in our laughs too
I couldn't help but to think
How much I long for you
Sep 2019 · 73
Freight Not
Agnis Lynota Sep 2019
I've come to realize
I've been lying to myself
All the stress
All of the worry
Is all a lie
Because I convinced myself
It was a priority
As if being afraid
Could help me be in control
Of something
Anything
In my life
But reactions
Will never cross out
What's already written
So why not
Just start being happy
With what I can't control
Sep 2019 · 195
Bothersome
Agnis Lynota Sep 2019
I am just a drop of rain
That you flick away
I am the sun in summer
When you stay in the shade
I am the barren tree of winter
When you only photograph the fall
I feel like a bother to you,
Or nothing at all
Sep 2019 · 73
We Are Love
Agnis Lynota Sep 2019
We are chaos
Living in a world of peace
We are two old people
Trying to cross the street
We are an outside wedding planned
On the day a storm hits land
We are the tiny flame
That starts a forest fire
We are a car driving
Without a front tire
We are a question
With no answers in sight

But above all,
We are love, so it's alright
Apr 2019 · 64
Comforting Limbo
Agnis Lynota Apr 2019
I've come to realize:
Everyone feels the pressure
To sink
Or swim
But sometimes we forget
It's okay to float
Nov 2018 · 360
To My Mountain
Agnis Lynota Nov 2018
When I felt weak
You stayed strong for me
When I couldn't walk
You held me tightly
When I was afraid
You made me feel safe
When I lost myself
You reminded me
I still had you,
The best part of me,
Love has never made more sense
Than it has with you lifting me
Out of the darkest hole I've ever fallen into
You've been more than my rock,
You have been my mountain
Dealing with an undiagnosed issue has been difficult, but with the love I have received, I feel unstoppable
Oct 2018 · 348
Crowded, Yet Alone
Agnis Lynota Oct 2018
I have so many people who are there for me

Who I can talk to

Who are there for me

Yet I can't help but to feel so alone

It's hard to hear yourself sound repetitive

To people who have nothing left to say

Simply because they cannot understand

Though I do not wish this on anyone

It would be nice to not go through this alone
Oct 2018 · 89
Defeated
Agnis Lynota Oct 2018
I'm tired of wondering

Wondering when these episodes will end

Wondering when I will feel normal

Wondering when I can go places without fear

Wondering when I can be present in the moment

Wondering when I will be goofy again

Wondering when I will be strong

Wondering when my life will be normal again

How I wish I knew how good I had it

When I was all there, when my problems

were nothing other than selfmade

And nothing that dictated every second of everyday
Feeling defeated today, hoping this feeling passes soon
Sep 2018 · 219
2014 Thoughts
Agnis Lynota Sep 2018
If you could see
All we could be
Would you take back
All that you said?

Your hands are up
But I can't give up
Time can't be up
I can't let go
Sep 2018 · 191
The Tragic Light
Agnis Lynota Sep 2018
And through this darkest of times,
I have been able to find a light

I feel human,
Yet I feel unstoppable

I could not have loved myself
Had it not been for this tragedy

Once a month for the past three months
My body turns against me

I forget for a few days
How to walk or talk at times

I forget for a few days
How it is to be myself

I am undiagnosed at the moment
And for a second that almost made me insane

But after losing pieces of myself
3 times, to something neurological

I have learned to love myself enough
To never give up

And for every episode that I have
To come back just as strong as I did the month before

I will no longer let the habits of this world
Rub off on me

Because now I know what truly matters:
Living, breathing, and knowing the worth of my soul
I'm dealing with an undiagnosed neurological issue, but I am hoping to keep this positive mentality and come back even stronger after all of this is said and done.
Jul 2018 · 278
To And From Myself
Agnis Lynota Jul 2018
Be inspired by anything
It used to be so easy for you
But time hasn't been on your side
It has ****** the life out of you
You feel glimmers of yourself
Enough to be mentally stable
But not enough to be truly happy

Don't take this as your last stop

Cause one day you'll wake up
And everything will be different
Everything will be better
You will find yourself again
You will be able to breathe again
You will be happy with who you are
And what you do
You will no longer compare
But appreciate
You will feel truly beautiful
Because you will finally believe you are

I cannot wait to find you,
I cannot wait to love you
Just some sweet words to myself that I'll be needing to look back on throughout this crazy journey that is life, but I am feeling hopeful
Jun 2018 · 386
A World Of Its Own Demise
Agnis Lynota Jun 2018
Sometimes I fear
That the hate in this world
Is seeping through my skin
Taking away the joy
That I have had for life
That constant self reminder
To stay positive
--at times
Seems to be drowned
By the hatefulness
Of some people
Who just can't help it
Or who were never taught
Or who cannot be taught
There are days when I look up
To appreciate the sky's beauty
And feel the air tasseling my hair
With the sun warm on my skin
And I take it in
Because I'm afraid
The world has turned against itself
We have made fools of ourselves
Turning against each other
How have we not learned
That things are better
when we stick together
And I think everyone knows:
If we had a chance to pick
This is not the world we would have chose
Stop evolving into a species of hate
Because before we know it,
it'll be too late
I've been seeing so many negative things happening and it's so constant and saddening. I don't know if it's this age of social media that does a good job of reminding me of the things that go on in the world. I feel helpless at times knowing I can't do anything about them.
Jan 2018 · 279
Pleasant Love
Agnis Lynota Jan 2018
A love,
       A light
I could not have known
Until now

Oh how silly I was
To underestimate
How big our love could grow
Dec 2017 · 652
Softer
Agnis Lynota Dec 2017
I must know:

Am I becoming more sensitive,
Or are people getting colder?
Nov 2017 · 315
Satisfied Sorrow
Agnis Lynota Nov 2017
Oh how my sorrow
Is so conditional

But that makes this
State of pure bliss
So satisfying
So special

I will hold it close
For as long as time will allow
Oct 2017 · 215
Self Inflicted
Agnis Lynota Oct 2017
I am stuck
In a dark room
No hopes, no light
I am trapped
In a dark room
Locked away
By my own hand
Jul 2017 · 305
July 4th 3:22 AM
Agnis Lynota Jul 2017
In this very moment

I am blissful,
Beyond words
Jun 2017 · 303
Pensamientos
Agnis Lynota Jun 2017
yo me pregunto a veces si me quieres


       //yo no creo
Jun 2017 · 608
Fixed
Agnis Lynota Jun 2017
How could you be so still...


                When all I could do
          
     was shake
Feb 2017 · 333
Self Honesty (1)
Agnis Lynota Feb 2017
You're going to enjoy my company

             Until you find someone else's company

To enjoy better
Feb 2017 · 246
You Will Never Know
Agnis Lynota Feb 2017
The emotions
Of love
And hate
Have never been closer
Than they are when I'm close to you
Feb 2017 · 227
Brain Guts
Agnis Lynota Feb 2017
I don't know what to feel
Or
what to repress
Anymore
Jan 2017 · 438
Open Ended
Agnis Lynota Jan 2017
You untied my legs
And I was open to you
In so many ways
Other than the only way
You knew how


*if you could see me
Not just by opening your eyes,
But opening yourself
You would see
I'm everywhere
I don't want to be
My heart is in the clouds
And in the current of the sea
I wish you would've never
Untied me
Oct 2016 · 604
12:22
Agnis Lynota Oct 2016
I am trying
            To fill this hole by myself
   To feel whole again

But my favorite thing about me
Was someone that I held
           Higher
                  than
                      myself

  But also someone
             Who didn't know
     How to hold me at all

   Oh how blinding,
          how powerful,
An emotion can be
Oct 2016 · 907
To You, Whoever You Are
Agnis Lynota Oct 2016
I am patiently waiting for you, darling

But everyday without you,
I can't help but wonder
Who you are
Where you are
And how long it will be
Until I can finally be able
To helplessly love someone
Who knows how to love me back
Sep 2016 · 457
Not So Strong Today
Agnis Lynota Sep 2016
I miss knowing I was being thought of
         Even though it was only sometimes

I miss being in love
        Even though it hurt

I just really ******* miss *the feeling
Sep 2016 · 270
Hidden Truths
Agnis Lynota Sep 2016
I am

      Only a body

To you
Sep 2016 · 494
I Am Not Blinded By Love
Agnis Lynota Sep 2016
I am not always wise
But I am not stupid

          I may be kind
But I am not weak

I know how to love,
     deeply ,
But I know when to stop


     I may forgive you
But I am wise enough to know
            That alone
    Cannot not change you
Aug 2016 · 315
You Are Lovely
Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
You are,
Truly,

An eye for a heart
Aug 2016 · 288
I Can't Grow With You
Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
I will not wither away
     I must learn
        Not to
r                  m
     o          y
          o     s
      t               e
                            l
                              f

   In someone else's hands
but I can't help desiring
    the warmth
    of your hands
  Around my roots
Aug 2016 · 496
A Precious Grain Of Sand
Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
You can never run away from love

You can only walk

but eventually
You will climb to a peak
And the love will be outshined
By the breathtaking sight
Of the world at your feet
Aug 2016 · 231
Absent Thoughts
Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
I may resent you,

     I may stop loving you,

         But I will never deny

              How beautiful you are

And how much I would've done

              To gaze at your face
                    for the rest of my days
Aug 2016 · 266
The Back Of My Hand
Agnis Lynota Aug 2016
Keep trying to divert
       Your attention off of me

      By talking to others
Who mean nothing to you

       And I hope they act as I did:
                Loving
              and
                   Naive


So you can,
      As always,
Get what you want
Jul 2016 · 495
Not Just Anyone
Agnis Lynota Jul 2016
My heart has come to think
This way:
Someone,
Not just anyone
Will save me
From this loneliness
But I am not eager
I am not sad
I am not searching
I am just patiently waiting on
My true happiness
To make his way
Into my bed
And for my empty head
To once again be filled
And consumed
By someone,
Not just anyone
May 2016 · 717
Close Your Eyes Again
Agnis Lynota May 2016
Did you like how the sun kissed you
       When the cold breeze was over done?

Did you ever close your eyes
      When the sun was too bright?

And when the clouds came
    Did you ever have time to wait
            For them to move?

When I kissed you

When I smiled

When I felt distance

Did you ever feel
     Like I was the sun?
May 2016 · 701
You Lied, Again
Agnis Lynota May 2016
I knew it was someone else

*We were never truly alone
         You were never truly mine
May 2016 · 678
Musing
Agnis Lynota May 2016
Was it your beauty?
       Or my love for you,
That made me so glued to you
  Was it your smile?
Your beautiful dreamy eyes?
    That is making me miss you,
That is making my heart
              feel like a cinder block?
  It's so heavy
I wanted to know what we could've been
      Now I am with left with memories
Of what we were
    And how you loved me once

    I wanted it to be you,
So badly,
      But your love has run out
   And your eyes don't shine at me
Like they used to
    
I don't make your heart beat fast

Anymore

It was all just a dream to me
   How could it have been real
  When there is nothing left of it?
I'll miss you
Apr 2016 · 285
If You Don't
Agnis Lynota Apr 2016
When I lick my lips

     It is your mouth that I taste
And I'm left wanting more


When I lay in bed

       It is the thought of your touch
That renders me to sleep


When I think of love

       It is your face that I see,
And your heart that I desire

I

     Will

     Love


Even when you don't
           Even when I shouldn't
Apr 2016 · 740
Wanting
Agnis Lynota Apr 2016
I wanted you to be the one
Only for me
Since the day I met you
I always pictured my future mornings
With a wooden table
The smell of freshly brewed coffee
And you holding my waist
In our own little kitchen
I wanted to grow with you
I wanted my most important times in life
To happen with you right there by my side
I wanted your chest to be the chest
That I would laugh and cry in a million times
I wanted to touch you and be touched by you
Until my body couldn't feel anymore
I wanted to go places with you
I wanted us to discover things
About ourselves and each other
I wanted to have you for many years
And still be able to feel the way I do
Every time I see your face or hear your name
It makes me feel so weak
But it always brings a smile to my face
Because I know you have no clue
How much I love loving you

I wanted you to be my other
                My lover
     My best friend
I wanted my life long dream of love
           To be fulfilled by you

But then again,
    It isn't always about
        What I want
It's about you
Apr 2016 · 743
Dirt
Agnis Lynota Apr 2016
"No no, stay"

       I must go

    "What's the rush?"

   *My heart is coming through my chest

Waiting for the mess to clean itself

            I may not be the best at cleaning

But boy can you make a mess out of me

    With nothing other than the absence

Of words
Apr 2016 · 359
Pushing
Agnis Lynota Apr 2016
I've never felt as empty

                     As I do with you

    Filling each thought

                      That stumbles through

     My busy head
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