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1d · 136
give it time
second-guessing
      is                        
                a                       wrecker
    of                         what
                might
                                   be
                                              in
                        process
      of
                                            progressing.
4d · 230
merely a lie
all                was               imaginary
           and
      i                 ran             out
                                        of
            sanity
                            to
                                 imagine
some
                      more.
7d · 171
calm
this world's dark bitterness
is sometimes too forceful
I have always been scared
and anxiety always has ways to eat me

but I think I will no longer
surrender to its mouth

I fight the waves
I shut their prejudices

I wanna be free
I wanna calm my thoughts.
Jan 18 · 293
You:
born from the cloud
evaporated from the buried
dreams of silent poet.
Jan 3 · 40
be present for you
It is easy to feel happy when you're surrounded.
But when the room is empty,
and you've got days, or even months to befriend yourself,
is it still the feeling of whole that's lingering on your chest?
The art of being alone is the art of cherishing your own self.
The only person who will stay for you long as you're present in life
is your own self.
The most meaningful presence for yourself is your own.
Jan 1 · 67
you are always enough
What is going on outside,
you are not missing out on any bit of it.

What you are not a part of,
you will never be incomplete without.
Jan 1 · 840
all these times
You are
a reality away
from
becoming my dream
that holds so true.
Dec 2021 · 706
majestic
You are
embodying galaxies
and
each of your gaze
commence supernova.
Dec 2021 · 145
differences
generational gap
and different paradigm
dampen confrontation
and stay still patient

silenced my voices
for the family’s harmony
rejected my own ideology
in the name of valuing customary

I feel so weak
my opinions get bleak
I am just a daughter
with the stances of my own.
Dec 2021 · 50
pity poetry
put the saddest songs in the world
join me in my party

colourless days of twenty something
so much feelings in such limited saying

feeling lonely
in the same time
don't wanna join the crowd

left-out
but skeptic of the outside world

trapped in the serenity of my self-made ward
and maybe I am just one big coward.
Nov 2021 · 51
fear won't stop me
I am in belief
things that in present scare me
will somehow assist me in the future

I am terrified of many things
but I will still be in
for those terrifying & scary thins

I may be slow
but I ain't stopping.
Oct 2021 · 125
not to overthink mantra
I am not the words
                that burden me
I am more than the noise
                            that silence me

I do not owe anything
                       to my past
and my future
               will not terrify me

I rest my soul on the present
my thoughts are mindful
                  of becoming here,
                                               now.
Oct 2021 · 180
tired
my silence
will eventually speak
how my words
had never been heard.
Oct 2021 · 54
our road
I leave my soul wandering
going over the cotton candy sky with the blazing sunset in its cracks

the view of vast paddy field passing by
calming sound of your motorcycle running against the wind

I think I was born for moment like this
lifetime happiness in span of minutes
captured senses and your physique presence

stealing glances from rearview mirror
staring at the view of something called serenity

and suddenly it is crystal clear
as long as you'd be the driver
I'd willingly be on this venture
miles by miles
heading to our future.
Oct 2021 · 120
rough feet
rough feet touching the sheet
tired of all-day working the shifts
pretending present
while the soul is somewhere hiding

these feet
they have been in spots
that they felt pressured and lonely

rough feet walk the journey these days
to places with no friends
do things to make ends meet
meet people with unfriendly gazes

after the day is up
rough feet back to the bed
still lonely,
but at least feels more at ease.
Oct 2021 · 45
this isn't a poetry
I miss who I was, a person full of dreams. I can say some were realistic, some other were not so much.  Nonetheless, they were still dreams. Active dreams. Time when things were always lingering on mind, and I still always eagerly thought of ways to achieve them. What did happen then? I don’t know. I think reality did. Reality was some big wave that swept dreams off of the shore.
Oct 2021 · 184
unfolded
I may feel lost
but still I am being in a journey
I may now feel clueless still
but also I am heading to the right clarity

all will get better in time,
the time all will be perfectly unfolded.
they are reaping
what they had sowed
I am processing
the pursuit of waiting
soon enough I will reap too
all the things I bear through time
and hold it in my hands tightly
and I, too, will be smiling joyfully.
Sep 2021 · 331
writer soul
I am caged
but I fly away
so far
with written words
of thoughts
and feelings
I explore
and sightsee
wherever up to me
my feet are always in one place
but my soul has flown places.
Sep 2021 · 38
departure
counting hours until you fly away to
chasing future dreams and ambition

sitting side by side, hearing the minutes tick in mind, and nothing significant to say

we stop asking questions
and another hour go by

capturing your face in sight
so I can remember how it feels like
to be by your side
comfortable silence
and the grip of your palm

I verily have so much to say
yet the words don’t wanna steal the scene
of me preparing your absence
and months to spare
in befriending empty
building my lonesome cavity

22.10,
you’d be out of the country,
and I’d start feeling tearfully lonely.
Sep 2021 · 43
a collection of sadness
bad thoughts
and intrusive nightmares

scary aimless future
and unprogressive present

things that drown me
but leave no mark on my surface
a collection of sadness
buried underneath smiley face

sadness in the head
throughout the day
in need of solace
to bring me out of isolation
all day thinking about
unforeseen safe haven.
Sep 2021 · 73
mind ocean
I drown in anxieties
and I swim to the surface
trying to grasp the air of calmness
but self-doubt come in waves
and the waves are too enormous
I breathe with remaining sanity
telling myself
I can keep swimming
the waves are rough
but this ocean is mine.
Sep 2021 · 23
burnt
look through my eyes
and believe
that I know

life has burnt you out
but soon you become
a phoenix
rising from the ashes
of life's pernicious burn.
Sep 2021 · 51
daring
you are brave
with concealed fear still
your hands as yet tremor
and your words are kept
before they’re said aloud

you are matured
and to date
often confused
by witless doubts
but you go along with ugly risks
looking bold with hidden sweaty palms

you are all the things you are,
and you are all the things
you do not talk about,
you are without fail a sublimity,
you’re daringly living
while cluelessly learning about it,
you are a fighter.
Aug 2021 · 45
her lifeline
she is a fickle girl with fear
of getting abandoned
begging you
"please don't leave"
she presumes this time
will be permanent

your mark is all over her
and you are the only grip
she is so afraid to lose

you are her one true wonder
whom always seen singing Bon Iver,
you handed her stories
she will never get over
you are the life, you are a sustainer

you paved the road she follows
she was a chaos, now she's in order
she hinges too much
on one thing that's perhaps not enough
an uncertainty of uttered words
"I will never leave".
Aug 2021 · 30
sadness
feeling like this
is why somebody writes
and cries
for a hole that's eating
from inside

in silence longing for
a hug,
a banter,
familiar situation,
overlooked things
that's unknowingly
taken for granted

regular seat
of usual drive,
seeing faces in hallway,
boredom in the station,
and things I never knew
can be much wanted

yearning I could go back
to feel things once again

but, sadness
is why somebody writes
and regrets.
Aug 2021 · 34
dry
dry
it's getting ill
with no cure on hand
the days are longer
without any more laughter

the debates
left by the members
you know it'll only be
never ending disputes

it's changing,
and dying
as you sleeping on it.
Aug 2021 · 31
on love
chipped tooth, scar on eyebrow,
and a heavenly face like yours

to have a saved seat
and stroke of luck

moon eyes,
joyous embrace

to be taken by the hand
and be loved so grand

I bet forever on your name
your existence,
is forever
a divinely phenomenon
I keep thanking life for.
Jul 2021 · 39
audience
shiny sparkling lives
of others
and cracked brick days
of mine
dreaming of progress

seeing through the bleacher seat
of empty and blacked out podium

watching
as they are running
with triumph in hands
looking petrified but euphoric

I am dwelling upon my sad days
dying for any progress
watching from the bleacher seat.
Jul 2021 · 26
days
some days are filled with hope
like an optimist
and some other
are just not friendly
feeling like a failed party

what to do?
what to do?
my skills are deteriorating
I am fatigued
walking on an ambiguous venture
trapped in
never ending days
of waiting.
Jul 2021 · 25
aimlessly
wish I could be
          who I wanted to be,
wish I could feel
         unexplored senses
                   and fly away
                   along with the comfiest breeze,

flying,
thinking,
aimlessly,
I always wanted to be
proud of who I have been,
but all who I have been
is someone
not comfortable in her own skin,

I wish I could feel ambitious
with my own future days,
just like the wind trusts the end of the sea.
Jul 2021 · 23
expectations
my words are withered
my hopes are undue
I might have aimed
for stars which are too high

got *******
in a miserable contemplation
pondering over probable mistakes
suffering from my own expectations.
Jul 2021 · 26
secret favorite
you are an impossibility
that I keep in my dream vanity
hopelessly

wondering high
realizing down low
my skin does not fit in your feature
my song only ails your show

long,
my vanity has been filled with
warm smiles and friendly gestures

and
will always be
locked in a world where I dream.
Jun 2021 · 59
slow
people’s lives are moving
and so on
seems like watching an utopia
with many familiar faces

whereas I am feeling all alone
abandoned and forgotten
in the end of my young adult days

there it is for me
non-existent idea
of structured future
lingering around the room

I pray to get struck by luck
addressed for me in this **** day.
Jun 2021 · 107
insane
silly ideas on boring days
series of impulsivity
to keep your mind in sanity

does it keep you sane too?
being wild in the head,
looking pensive on the outside

I am just indulging seconds to waste
hoping this boredom finally ends.
Jun 2021 · 57
insecurity
they seem like running
and here I am idling

what are they chasing after?
dreams?
where did they collect it from?
should I have one also?

dreams?

oh
shiny things I have buried deep.
May 2021 · 30
to tell you the truth
to tell you the truth
leaving is sometimes in mind

to let you know the whole thing
you never really saw the whole me

I guess perfect love stories
are just not the full stories

of how in times they break
and mend themselves independently
of how some of their tragedies
are left just the way they itch
of how a heart
can be completely absent
and still fosters stone-blindly.
May 2021 · 15
father
always brings me to tears
to even write bringing up this
of how a grown-up woman
wants to console her smaller nature
“you, too, deserve pat on the head”

love can be shown in many forms
and even you don’t receive one manner
doesn’t make him any less of
a loving father.
May 2021 · 32
stuck
I am trying
to write
with
the
caffeine-indulged
adrenaline

getting stuck on the page
I have been composing forever

slowly drowned in my inadequacy
of telling my own story.



I am thinking
of infinite possibilities
yet none seems to fit the reality.



I am stuck
within compiling words
of words
that will unload
chaotic anxiety
and abandoned feeling
into something worth-reading

or else

you will only see
that I am messy.


I am stuck
in making felt-things
understandable,
further than just a ramble



I am stuck
...................................................
May 2021 · 45
happy
I will share to you
              all the world’s
                        romantic cliché,

staring at you,
smiling right to you,

I will sing many the greatest love songs,
and nothing will ever fully describe you,

I will exaggerate my words,
and it will all about you,
the days are blossoming,
my heartbeat is dancing,
this girl is falling,
not any usual falling,
this girl is falling in love
but
with the right person.
Apr 2021 · 156
amen
hopes flown high
by the two hands of mine
and I say Amen

in delicate intent
I pray that
they will emerge
                    thru the sky
                    and knock the heaven’s door
                    to finally come down
                    as rain of blessings,
                                                      Amen.
Apr 2021 · 139
unemployed
the loneliness that is crippling
through ordinary days of
chinese takeaway dining,
tasteless conversation in hallway
with person next door,
drops of the bathroom’s tap leaking.

being alone now
is a solid everyday living,
time consumes me
till I am rottenly unamused,
and this world is only
a room-sized secludedness.
Apr 2021 · 219
your absence
the road was beautiful
but it was silent

the food was nice
but it was trite

the conversation was going by
and those eyes weren’t fulfilling

these trips here and there
only to make me feel withdrawn

I keep wishing you everywhere
why are you so far away
in my sight I see you nowhere
I am now a forlorn wanderer.
Mar 2021 · 38
isolation
friendly feeling of hostility
often got me wondering
why do I ever step out from solitary?
phony warmth and manipulative faces
am I staring into them or myself?
Mar 2021 · 161
solitude
in quiteness I ponder;

high and low searching for muse
no idea these times been carrying hues,

all these years
looking for tune,

had I known I’ve been dancing
with the moon hovering
trying to call my name

yet my ears were covered
by noise
of the insignificant crowd
that I heard too deeply

I even was too deaf to hear
that myself craved for serenity.
Mar 2021 · 226
lukewarm
I will get tired eventually,
trying to reheat the room
at the hand of the warmth
I have left,

always ends up to be
a cup of lukewarm coffee
in a freezing day.
Feb 2021 · 197
I feel like
I am only an a in your alphabetical story
she was c, your pleasant history
I feel like only an ordinary
nothing ensures me
that you will not meet m, d, or z
and write another stories
I am only an ordinary a,
probably only a recent case study.
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