it was that little piece
of heaven and hell
in between
that made this almost heart
fucking sigh
from constant late nights
to warm, gushing confessions
and pure comfort
as we spread and unload
our battles evenly
to the wild, violent side of the moon  

-a.

they just stood,
dependably
rooted to their ground
killing the state of our mental vice
into such sinful cries
and
what has kept us breathing since
feels almost dead by now
how can we not leave our rooms
so soberly sad
to such peculiar repellency
that lives within in our souls too

-a.

sometimes
we tend to cling our souls,
desolately,
to the same kind of salvation
one that made our hearts flicker
and beat anxiously
one that stroked our pinpricked walls
with their assuring hands
smearing over
the right shade of blue
however,
the bitter truth remains
since
letting go
has never been
my best kind of caliber

-a.

I wonder
who are you today
do you still see
the same constellations
the one our souls had a name for
I wonder
how many nights did it take for you
to calm this beautiful chaos
we created over our almost hearts  
do you ever get stranded
laying on your own bed
battling sleep right before the dark
gets heavily thick
than it ever was
most of all,
I wonder how our souls looked like
since we last spoke before
the ink spills
and they do the talking

-a.

I have homes in people,
in memories,
in places
and I tend to visit the past
sometimes,
a little too often
then struggled miserably over
such ungainly sadness
I might have always been the one
who loved more in the beginning
yet,
half of my heart still carries your name
like an open wound
that coils finely to yours

-a.

it was always hidden
in the welcoming smell of rain
no matter
how soft and quiet
or how heavy and stormy
they came
in all sorts of drizzle
either way,
nothing else could beat
to the wild, lingering, raw sound of it
and
to feel you through
my flawed skin
over again

-a.

tell me,
where do hearts go
without them breaking too loudly
after baring one’s soul
terrifyingly,
killing their only gut
but ended up writing letters
to one’s self
where can we reset
such one-sided emotion
before the demons take over
the walk with us
to their hellish pit

-a.