Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jul 30 · 290
seeing
Jenny Jul 30
seeing you wanting her,
seeing myself again wanting for repair
Oct 2018 · 159
I QUIT
Jenny Oct 2018
EXPECTATIONS, what are expectations?
It was a 12-letter word that I’ve set as a standard
Where anything way below, acceptance is just too hard
It was the moment I kept myself away from freedom,
Freedom of doing what I want to do
Freedom of not having fun to what I love.

Am I still the person who is willing to win this battle?

Now that I think of it,
Your opinion affects my system as it greatly matters.
I lose self-reliance because our belief prominently differs
Your words direct my capacity into incapability

I lost myself,
I lost my long-term built confidence, just so yours be followed.
I believed I never made the right choice,
The moment your opinion kept the majority’s mind closed.
I was never person I ought to be.
I was blinded by the pressure you form inside me
Letting me consider I wasn’t doing enough,
Luring me into what our society want,
Persuading me that in all things that I do, I can’t.
No, I am not a loser but. . .
I’m tired.
Set by high expectations
Labelled by your opinions
and
Filled by Pressure
Can I survive this battle?
These three just consumed my positivity.
All I have wasn’t enough,
my fighting spirit reached its limit,
I think I’ll be losing the battle.
I think I need to quit.
I quit.

I quit reaching your expectations
I quit on becoming a puppet of your opinion
I quit being a slave of pressure.
I’ll quit just so I could win this battle.

I’ll stand on my own standards and expectations
I’ll do what I think is best for me even though failure would arrive and teach me a lesson
Societal standards are up but I’ll set my own
I’ll be the queen of my freedom, where positivity overflows and life continuously goes on

Your opinion may somewhat matter
But you can’t have the compass to my journey of becoming stronger
I’ll be learning to eliminate
Just for my self-choices could dominate
I’ll turn pressure into power,
Power to survive, power to become better
I will win this battle.
No more expectations,
No insignificant opinion
No more peer-pressure to stop this motion.
No more stops just rest.
Victory is in me, all I have was the best.
I am a quitter on quitting.
Don't quit, just take a rest and continue life.
Mar 2018 · 341
Here. There. Lost
Jenny Mar 2018
The moment you
arrived and
stayed here
inside my dreams, within
my reach,
along with my old past broken stitch,
I no longer
feel alone, deprived
unloved,
everything that un- could
be attached.
But
time became
my greatest enemy that weakens
the wall built by my army.
I found you there.
Far away from me filled of all the thoughts and feelings
that are unclear.
Now,
I got back to the time where everything is an un-, can't, dis-, not, and
then won't.
I am lost.
lost
in the moment that
turned
into memories.
Lost from
the track to
my genuine happiness.
Lost of courage to
take
a step towards
love again.
Lost
in pain. Lost
in thoughts. Lost in everything
that I thought
we were.
Lost in everything that you made me feel.
I was here but you escaped to be there and left me lost in the universe filled with hatred and despair.
Mar 2018 · 296
Not
Jenny Mar 2018
Not
Not perfect but authentic,
not expensive but expressive,
not in fame but I want to shout your name,
Not jealous of attention but innocent of pure admiration,
Not helpless but brave,
Not fearless but peerless,

Yet all you see that pass through your heart
is still
Not me but her at the end
Whatever try that you could do, if the person you thought was meant for you wasn't really the one you ought to have, you'll be left dumbfounded by feelings you could hardly resolve. Let's keep dwelling and grab the chances!
Mar 2018 · 295
Someday
Jenny Mar 2018
You did not know but I hope someday you'll know

The thoughts running in my mind,
the feelings inside my heart

As your sparkling eyes, your genuine smile, your unique personality, your amazing capabilities became my weakness
I started to contemplate whether to tell you this:

I already fell for your heart and soul,
Yet I do not demand for you to feel the same way, too
I just want you to be aware
These feelings that burdens me, the pain I could no longer bear.


It is the only thing I hope to happen
To lighten this heavy load of thoughts that I carry since then

I badly want you to know
not now, not this very moment
but someday, somehow

You make me happy
But I know that we could never be


You brought me to a place
I could never find the best exit way

I knew I have a selfish heart
Because I wanted to keep this to myself
and at the same time tell you everything that I felt

So I settle for less,
*Just because you did not know,
But I sincerely hope that someday you'll do.
I got stuck to the moment where I don't know if you already knew or you just dont have the idea. I got stuck onto the moment where I thought my dreams about "us" is real. I got stuck to hoping that someday you'll know.
Jan 2018 · 251
If
Jenny Jan 2018
If
If only I got the chance
Just to tell you everything in a single glance
I would probably be feeling and making sense
Talking and having all out this hidden chaos inside my chest

If I could just hold back what I feel,
I'll never be living this difficult and painful, my dear.
It'll not be this miserable and filled with fear
From this unbearable dilemma that caused me a million tear

If I didn't fall in love with you,
I possibly not have what I've been going through
*I may be a fool with nothing to gain
but surely there's no more efforts, no more pain.
Live not just for worries but also with possibilities. Start the year and take a risk!
Sep 2017 · 248
As Painful as It Is
Jenny Sep 2017
As poetic as I am,
Poem is what I do when i felt love
Buried inside my chest
but breaking and tearing its cages.

I am as weak as it is,
I fell in love so easily in just a tease
not to countless and many man,
but to you 'cause you're my only one.

I keep on neglecting that it is you
but i quiver and shiver when they do
Cause everything makes me love you
more and more, harder and harder too

Yes I am admitting,
that my heart beats like I'm endlessly running
A marathon and an activity together with no ending
When I saw your face everything is defined in its own meaning.
Pain can never be excluded from the world as it is needed to realize and feel true love.
Aug 2017 · 413
CHANCE
Jenny Aug 2017
Even though my vision aren't clear as before
But when it comes to you, I can see you clearly for sure

As my man I can see from afar
I could also say that I am looking onto a star

I wonder what you are thinking
The way you look at me since the beginning

If only I can have the chance
Seeing myself through your eyes

In that sense I could understand
**That you can or can't be my man
If only I can see myself through your eyes and feel what you feel through your heart.
Aug 2017 · 1.3k
Sorrow and Pain
Jenny Aug 2017
I am always misinterpreted
Being in a way that I am always taken for granted

I do things without regret
I make mistakes even at my best

I am unappreciated with my actions
Mislead by my decisions

An avenue of finding my self worth
Is to find time and be alone at some point

Doing the things that I like
is like a way of allowing suicidal thoughts to arise

Doing what is pleasing to the eye
Is like killing yourself most of the time

Somehow I'll be living in sorrow
Would you dare to follow?
Let your mind wonder to the meaning behind this poem :)
Aug 2017 · 315
Falling Enigmatically
Jenny Aug 2017
How can I be happy when the one I love, loved someone else?
Is it always my destiny?
How can I even smile and act like I was too supportive and happy?
When the truth is lost, wrecked, broken and hurt will best define me

Suddenly, I became proud of myself
because I can hide my emotions behind that narrow shelf
Leaving no clues nor negative reactions like an elf
Hiding and hiding it in my unorthodox actions, holding my own breath

Girl, you are so lucky
that you are the one chosen and not me
but let us play the long game of destiny
If he'll end up with you or with me.

I am amazed by him even with all his flaws
I accepted him with all his words and jokes
I noticed him because of things he truthfully shows
I love him for who he really is, that is what I only know.
Love knows no time. It will just came to you in the most unexpected moment.
Aug 2017 · 353
Part of the Unknown
Jenny Aug 2017
I was broken, please help me
To lift myself and be occupied by positivity
Of which now I can't feel and see
Within my universe it is so dark, precisely!

To the one who can read this creative poetry
I am hoping you'll highly encourage me
To everyone, the society, the humanity
'Cause I'm shattered, broken, and emptied

I keep on encouraging others
But, as a request, can I have one?
Adversities, challenges, obstacles;
Are those things cannot be lessen?

Mostly, I am alone
Without company, just my own phone
Like a divergent and single stone
Or a hidden work of art that I have drawn.

Someday, I hope you'll see**
The mysteries that is inside me
My love, you are my favourite cup of coffee
You are the reason of my 2 a.m thoughts that turned me into misery.
Loving him makes my hope raise so high. Even though I am always part of the unknown, he will always be my favourite discovery
Jul 2017 · 458
When She's Herself
Jenny Jul 2017
When she cries,
She usually hides.

When she smiles,
Her happiness will fade in a while

When she's alone,
Her thoughts will be flying like a drone

When she's afraid,
Her mind would definitely be in rage

When she's in love,
She would really treasure what she have
It is being yourself in every moment of the day :)
Jul 2017 · 329
Words
Jenny Jul 2017
Words that was used to made me impress
Why so sudden that it made me stressed?

Words, Words
Just like swords

It cuts deep beyond our expectations
And finally drown your heart with pure illusions

Words, words
Just like both thunder and storm

It can sweep you off of your feet
or it will leave you tortured and defeated

Words, words
Just like an unhealed sore

It will bring you to great suffer
and even **** you if your convinced and preferred

Words, Words
Just like truth and lies of the world

We don't know everything**
And somehow challenges us to play our best cards within
We usually use words to express but somehow, words can either lift you up or drag you down :)
May 2017 · 279
Leaving behind
Jenny May 2017
Are you staying away?*
No, you don't need to answer
I've already felt your presence lesser
But within me you are still my love forever.

Why is it that I'm different
In any of your undefined treatment
'Cause your sending them emoji
While you haven't even chatted me

I am not jealous of that
it is just that I don't know the reason why
I am different from others.

You taught me to share the things to you
But now I don't know who to talk to
Im hurt by your shift of treatment
'Cause its not you who is cold and best in ignoring
People come and go . So we need to move on and let go
Mar 2017 · 326
Lies
Jenny Mar 2017
Lies, lies
lies that spread from miles to miles

Lies that are believed because of false signs
Lies that spread with different styles

Style of lies
that deceived the eyes

Lies that are across the seven seas
that filled the innocent minds

Lies, lies how can someone make it true
Without putting himself in the person's shoe

Lies can destroy**
demolish and Destruct
the trust that was build in careful stack
Lies can deceive you in just a snap but wise decisions and truth shall always prevail :)
Mar 2017 · 327
State of Equilibrium
Jenny Mar 2017
NEGATIVITY is a part of your life
But can you consider losing it this time
For you are not born to have the highest pride
to prove everyone that everytime we can win this fight

Negativity is what brings you down
But what if it is the apetizer to your meal?
Or the balance equation to your formula?
Can you still accept it ?

Life's negativity
Is what brings you happiness.
Why?
For negativity and failure lets you appreciate positivity and success.

It is made to build foundation
To stand and be proud of our own
Let us view each other's perspectives
For we do not know it is just for our own sake that is given
Be brave! It all starts with the confidence within ourselves that we can accept the things that is given to us :)
Mar 2017 · 1.4k
Am I truly fine?
Jenny Mar 2017
Telling myself to smile
Pretending that I am truly fine

Preventing the tears to stream down my face
that is what I do all the time

Can someone figure out that I am not truly fine?
That deep within my heart I'm drowning and tearing apart

'Cause when you ask me,
I'll keep denying the reality

That
I am tearing apart,
I'm drowning,
I'm almost dying,
I lost my motivation,
and
.
.
.
.
I am not fine at all
I'll be fine someday soon :)
Mar 2017 · 313
Contrast
Jenny Mar 2017
Yesterday,
It is full of smiles that it starts happily
Eyes show the truth,  the reality
I'm so HAPPY, happy of things that surrounds me!

Recently,
I discovered something strange
That shocked my whole system in a short range
Because I once believed a fake news that spreads rapidly.

How could I possibly accept that lie?
Is that what I deserve?
Do people know the reason why?
Unlimited questions that continuously occupying my mind

Tears flow,
Laughter turns to endless frown
Mood shifted from happy to sad
Am I truly fine with it?
How could adversity come unexpectedly when you recently felt genuine happiness?
Mar 2017 · 356
Before and After
Jenny Mar 2017
Before,
I was not in a hurry
I always keep myself buried
And usually emotions are safely hidden

Before,
I dont wish for you
I dont do things for you
and especially I dont love you the way I do

Today,
I am longing for your smile
Loving who and what you really are
For reasons still undefined

Today,
I crave for your forehead kisses
Back hugs and conversation that is endless
That I hope I would have 'cause you're so peerless

After,
I dont know how to end
This feelings I can't even bend
For you I can always send
My messages of feelings I can lend
Time comes for the right things
Mar 2017 · 1.9k
ONE SIDED
Jenny Mar 2017
Closing your eyes for a while
moment of silence for this time
reminiscing every travailing memories
that crushed and led me now to pieces

I'm hurt,
I'm deeply hurt by you
but the blame isn't all for you
cause I'm the only one who loved you.

Sorry if I've loved you this hard
to the point that I'm the one falling apart
In your words that is deceiving
To me who heard every word and now i'm grieving

Awfully painful,
but time will heal for sure
to those stolen hearts without knowing,
and returned wrecked and broken.

Feelings that unexpectedly come
Hearts that may beat like a drum
Is this what they call love?
I thought its happy but I'm completely wrong cause its numb and dumb

Actions that can be a destruction**
Truth in its hurtful explanation
where i felt every single pain
In this one-sided love that make us all insane
Loving someone without the assurance of having something in return is a brave decision. It would be more if you'll love someone that people set walls due to humans prohibition

— The End —