Adrienne Childers

Adrienne Childers Feb 2013

I clench my jaw as my fingernails scratch the surface.
A white wall darkened by instances that were meant to be felt, but were not.
My nails make no mark.
No chip in the non-existent paint that wasn't used to hide imperfections.
I would pound at the mocking whiteness, but my fists are already bloodied and bruised, useless.
I think I should scream and cry at the injustice, inevitability, frustration, and fear.
But they would just laugh at me from the other side.
So instead I turn away from the wall, only to be greeted by three more.
For a moment, a smile plays at my lips, then vanishes just as quickly.
The irony does not escape me.
I created this place of protection from feeling..and now I have become it's prisoner.
What is there left to do now but wait?

Question is...
When you find this place of mine and open the door...will I still be here?

Adrienne Childers Feb 2013

Skip These Days

Fear lives within me
It creates excuses
Do I even possess courage
Or am I mistaking it
for Stupidity
Impulsive to a point
Responsible to a downfall
A stick stuck in the mud
of righteousness oozing with
The Past
Am I afraid to fail?
or afraid to fall?

Adrienne Childers Feb 2013

A Game

Question the resolution of ribs
to keep such a beating creature at bay
Muscles quiver, ready to run
Thoughts and confusions, curiosity
keep feet rooted, begging to stay
planted in unfamiliar soil

A tortuous cleansing of cluttered spaces
Organized voids open to collect dust
from the tumultuous whirlwind
of constant searching and hiding
A game to be played, we must
break the rules along with the board

Adrienne Childers Feb 2013

Spoken

Will you forever pretend to be unaware of the theft you commit
Sit
In a cement circle and look at what you have stolen
Are you sure of what you say each day with a breathless whisper
Listen
As your heart screams and your soul claws at the crumbling walls
Can you trust what your head tells you must be true
Breathe
In the frigid air as you throw your head back and gaze at the stars
Know for certain without a doubt that I can see them too
See
Into me please and believe when I tell you...

Adrienne Childers Jan 2013

Various Mornings

The sunlight deceives in this thoughtless wonder
bright rays that promise warmth are just for show
an illusion in the making and naught but cold

But imagine the warmth that the sun could bestow unto
violin beats that mimic the heart with strings that echo and
Light that dances behind shadows who bow with grace

Whispers in the timeless space that exists in between
one breath and the next that I hold behind pale lips
shiver not, feel not but warmth of promises yet to be made

Adrienne Childers Jan 2013

Aperture

A simple stretch made uneasy with nerves at your back screaming
Silently at the window frame, your fingers splayed
Against a heart held bleeding
bandaged, don't remember offering
up this battered vessel in a covenant of beating
words against frozen ribs that lack understanding
of what's being asked
through lips not moving and eyes unblinking
A reflection of yourself through the glass
unflinching
with fingers splayed next to the door frame

Reality is a breath against the aperture of decisions

— The End —