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Adeola A Jul 2010
The trash is half full,
With papers and words and half finished thoughts
Now lost in the land of never-to-be-completed
The wallpaper has continued its peeling;
The brown underneath a long forgotten memory
A breeze blows through
A stranger in an equally strange place
This house is no longer home.
A house is not a home by Luther Vandross
Adeola A Feb 2010
Life came at her fast
till she could breathe no more
the world was quickly fading
death knocking at her door
Then one day it seemed to change
a present given by a friend
the gift of music presented
and the darkness seemed to end
When the sweet sound reached her ear
she cried for hope at last
she played for the present and future
but music made up for the past
The future was hers to take
Though the world was tough and grey
Magic made in her hands
What sweet music did she play
but lies and drugs deceived her
friends and family she had shunned
the world was hard and lonely
and the darkness soon returned
once a hopeful dreamer
once so gay and proud
till lost was the sight of that dream
now another face in the crowd
She couldn’t win in the end
her goals and dreams all lost
but here’s a lesson for you
fight at any cost
Don’t become another
who has lost their way
hold tight to your dreams of greatness
and they’ll come true one day.
Don’t give in to temptation
don’t believe the hype
she had so much before her
but now she's a stereotype.
Adeola A Jan 2014
You think I don’t see
The way you lean away from me,
as if my Blackness is catching.
I watch your eyes, watch your things;
Taking inventory in preparation
For
What?
I see your smile get the tiniest bit tighter,
when I park myself next yourself
and ourselves are no selves
At
All.
Yeah, I notice the way you begin to shift,
like an unscratchable itch is inching inching inching
across your skin.
Or is it just my skin?
Those whispered words between you
and your little blond-haired friend
are not as soft as you’d like to believe
But I think you already know that
and I know that you know that I know,
not like
it
matters.
And I am left to bear the brunt of your discomfort
Saying my bad, my fault, it’s on me
But it isn’t, is it?
You think I can somehow ruuuuuub my
blackness
all. over. you.
Besmirching your not-so-fair skin
(you’ve got a little something right there).
Am I condescending on your privilege,
invading on your right, not my right, to be you and not me?
Huh,
Well guess what?
You can’t catch my blackness.
It’s not a disease,
coughing and breathing and bleeding you in.
It won’t wipe off on you if I touch you (yeah I said it)
Breathe easy home girl.
Besides, I wouldn’t give it to you if you begged me
hands raised, knees bent, eyes welling, swelling, filling and spilling.
I didn’t catch my blackness. You won’t either
But maybe if you could,
you would
understand how your actions make me feel
And wouldn’t that be progress?
Adeola A Feb 2010
The things I feel
for you
are not what you
would think
Don’t get me wrong
I love you, I do
Like the bees
love their honey.
But not in the way
that you would think.
I wish to be near you
all the time
to touch you
to hold you
But not in the way
that you would think.
How I enjoy the stories
that you tell
and the sound of your voice
and the way you laugh,
and the way you make me laugh
I wish for you to look at me
with those big brown eyes
and feel what I feel
and know that
it’s not the way
that I would think
Because everything
to do with you and me
Is not in the way
that you would think.
Adeola A Jan 2014
You came over me like a summer storm:
Unexpected, Sudden, Explosive.
Did I catch the scent of your rain?
Did I feel the shift of your wind?
Did I notice the darkening of your
cloudy gaze as it settled on me?
The lightning of your words
presumed the thunder in my heart.
And I was caught in the downpour
of your affection.
And I was drenched in the torrent
of your desire.
How did I miss the scent of your rain,
And the shift of your wind, and the darkening of your
cloudy gaze as it settled on me?
You stole your way into my thoughts;
The swarm of your clouds
became a haze over my mind.
until I became a tempest of emotion,
And the furor of my storm matched the fury of yours.
And we were swept away, together,
in the flood of our desires.
Adeola A Jul 2012
i refuse to play by your rules.
i fold into myself as you
attempt to dictate my Mind.
your words fall
like bricks
upon the surface of my Heart.
you push and you press
and all I want to do is run.
do you not see?
can you not tell?
i am not a piece
of clay
for you to impress upon.
you cannot mold my beliefs.
you cannot form my values.
your wrong is not my wrong.
your right is not my right. and
Salvation
is not yours to call.
you gave birth to me but
you didn’t give me Life.
you are not
entitled
to my Soul.
Adeola A Feb 2011
Heathcliff my love,
Had I known you at times before
Before the glory days of your tormentor
Perhaps your future would not be so bleak.

Heathcliff my love,
If you had not been so hated
Your misery and doom lain fated
Your life might have reached its peak.

Heathcliff my love
Were you not bruised and beaten?
Were you not shamed without reason?
Until you had no cause to be weak.

Heathcliff my love
Once you have broken free
With your rage contained barely
Will you find the revenge you seek?

Heathcliff my love
When terror is six feet below ground
And all that remains is offspring dumbfound
Will equivalent wind render his oblique?

Heathcliff my love
The one you detested you have become
And young son’s potential left unsung
Do you finally see the havoc you wreak?
Inspired by Wuthering Height by Emily Bronte
I do not own Heathcliff (though I'd love to), Hindley, or any of the characters in that lovely book.
Adeola A May 2011
I don't blame you
Not for the words you forgot to speak
Not for the actions you didn't take
Not for the thoughts you left me to think
Not for the regrets, not for the mistakes

I won't blame you
or your eyes blinded so conveniently
or your ears momentarily blocked
or your lips silenced repeatedly
or the shame the years have unlocked

I shouldn't blame you
because I did not open my mouth to tell
because I fought my battles alone
because it's not your fault you didn't know
because I kept my burdens all my own

I do not blame you
I will not blame you
I should not blame you
But I do
Adeola A Jan 2012
I think I killed a man today
I stabbed him twice and twice again
His blood gushed out
Over my hands
A tempest of life
A Niagara fall
I stared at him
He couldn’t breathe
I watched him leave
I watched him bleed
His accusing eyes
I watched them dim
And fade and fade
To haunt my days
I killed a man
I took a life
I felt no shame, no guilt, no pain
He died in vain
I’m glad he did
I think I’ll do it all again.
Adeola A Feb 2010
It was time to lay it all down
Time to let go
Of those past hatreds and fears
The ones that would keep a brother down
It was time to lay it all aside
Move forward with our two feet
Scarcely breathing, daring
Watching out for one another
It was time to lay it all away
Time to cast aside
The chains that rattled as we walked
The bonds we could not hide
It was time
Yes time
Time to do the things we’d regret
Time to love and forget
It was time
To go on and on
Chasing the dreams we couldn’t hang on to
Flying and falling
Like Icarus, we dove into the sea
There was a time
Way back yonder
And the things you hardly remember
The ones we’d never forget
Time had a way about it
Time, mystical and divine
Endlessly short
Our time, your time
Simply, Time.
Adeola A Feb 2010
We’re caught in this silly game
of cat and mouse
you, the cat
and me, the mouse

It would be so easy
to be caught by you
to just give in
to what we feel

But the people we would hurt
make this game
not worth the heartache
or the pain

What if you’re just playing me
the way you play the game
so well, yet in the end
it’s just a game

Who would be hurt more
by the results
if reasoning and logic
gave way to basic animalistic instincts

Me, my breath caught
You, with those smoldering eyes

How we love this game
that I started for us
then you joined in
and the damage began

For how long we’ve played
I doubt I could stop now
but maybe just maybe
you’re just as caught as I am

Whatever the outcome
we’ll always have our sport.
Adeola A Feb 2010
We just don’t know anymore
And it’s all gotten way too
Complicated
Nothing is as easy as it used to be
When we just sat around and laughed
You’d tell your stupid jokes
And I’d share mine
And it was all okay
But now times are hard
Everyone feels so forced
And everything seems so wrong
We had it all
Then it was gone
Just heartache and memories
Left in its wake
I broke your heart
And you broke mine
And I cried a thousand times that night
And nothing would go right.
How do we fix this?
If we’re not sure how it broke.
You said those words
And I said mine
If only, if only we could take them back
but we can’t
So I’ve decided
To keep it moving
Cause I’m sick and tired
Of the pain you’ve brought me
If you didn’t remember me
Would you be sad?
Because I wouldn’t be
So maybe it’s better for us all
If everything were left in the past
And nothing is ever like it used to be.
Adeola A Apr 2013
How could I have come to love you so?
In such a short period of time
The depth of my feelings leaves me
Breathless, a sigh
And the thought of leaving you makes my chest ache
How did you steal so softly into my heart?
Worming your way into the deepest oceans of my love,
You’ve rooted yourself in me and I can’t dig you out
When all this is said and done, I will be the one who hurts, bleeds
And you will go on, as you always have
Standing Eternal.
Adeola A Feb 2010
We could not run, we could not hide
We could not leave the great divide
We could not see to scream, to speak
We could not hear to cry, to weep
We were not here, we were not there
We were not us, we were the air
We flowed with life, we flowed and flowed
Like great dwarfs bright, we were so cold
Amidst the likeness that we showed
We found ourselves unfree and old.
Adeola A Feb 2010
You tapped on my window
knocked on my door
and you always catch me when I fall
Tried to apologize
but it’s been too late
and so I turned around to say
Where did I go wrong
I seem to have lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and
It’s 2am
I stayed awake
trying to unravel your latest mistake
It was you and me together
through the days and nights
and I don’t wanna fight
because
I have seen the others
and their mothers
and I have discovered
out of the doubt in your mind
I somehow find
you and I collide
and till the day my life is through
This I promise you.
Adeola A Mar 2013
You're my biggest regret;
Bet you didn't know that...
I was always good
at surprising you.
Adeola A Feb 2010
Who was I then?
That one whom you all remember so clearly

I used to hate, and distrust everything
Was so quick to anger and pain

I was deeply hurt and saddened
To the point of intense masochism

I did things I wasn’t proud of
Which led to more things I’m not proud of

I led a life filled with regrets
And I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel

I said things that I’m still not proud of
And probably hurt more of you than I can remember

You representing all the people who were there
And all the people who remotely cared about what I felt

Who am I now?
If I’m no longer the one you remember

I laugh and I cry so freely
No longer bound by my own messed up rules

I long, I want, I touch
In a way I couldn’t allow myself to before

I love harder and more easily
For the chains of hatred no longer hold me down

I am light and free
Freed from the pains of the past and weight of the future

I am who I choose to be
I am a bird
I am a mountain
I am a rock
I am a human being like you
I am what I’ve become when I became me

I am and will always be
Adeola A Jan 2014
You make me feel like
A natural Woman.
Like a woman with curves
And hips that don’t lie,
And ******* that don’t quit.
You make me feel like
An intelligent woman.
Like a woman with intellect
And thoughts in her mind
And wits in her soul.
You make me feel like
A beautiful woman.
Like a woman with sparkling eyes
And luscious lips
And a captivating smile.
You make me feel like
A wanted woman.
Like a woman you desire
With the touch of your hand
And the song of your mouth.
You make me feel like
A real woman.
Like a woman who wants
And inspires
And entices you.
You make me feel like
A powerful woman.
Like a woman who can charm your heart
And beguile your soul
And devour you whole.
You make me feel.
You make me feel
You make me feel
Like a Woman.

— The End —