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Addison Aug 2018
I no longer have a handle
I was fine for four
And now? No more

Wallowing and digging
Further
And now I'm lying in the pool
Considering the hang overs
Bed stained with my past

Man I could go for some nuggets

My pillow's on the floor
The handcuffs lie beside
The fan spins above me
And my pillow lies beside

Bonded in my own constraints
With the fibres calling louder
The lock and key are missing and now?
They don't fit each other anymore

How unclear the clarity of everclear
So clean, connivingly kind
She draws me in, and then,
again,
The blackout ushers me out
Addison Sep 2018
I bought a colouring book!
It's small
and clean
and new
and all the lines are already in!

I'll just colour
     here        and            there and here   and        here     and there and
he         re    and            there          and   here a       nd     there
here  and    here           and t         here   and her  e an     d there and
he         re    and there  and h          ere   and    there a     nd he
re         an    d there a   nd here and th   ere       and h     ere and there.
I wish she was here to colour with me.
Addison Aug 2018
My blankets are cold.
My sheets? Unforgiving.
I can't help but wonder
At all that I'm missing.

I sit in this room
Brimming with nothing
Just wishing you were here
Instead of having nothing

Nothing is wrong
Except where you should be? nothing
There's nothing but me
Nothing but me in my own head

Nothing is colder
Nothing is worse
Than missing nothing
Nothing anymore

your hair is now nothing
your tears? no more
no more resent
nothing anymore

now you're nothing
just some dirt in the ground
i can't help but wonder
if i could've helped you stay something

i still miss you
even in all your nothing
my little white scar
is now your only being

Nothing is wrong? Okay,
I trust your judgement.
No seriously! It's nothing!
Just keep in touch, okay?
1-800-273-8255
Addison Aug 2018
She won't stop screaming
Over and over
She cries out and shouts out
It's like my ears are bleeding

Day in and day out
She won't stop screaming
Over and over
Thank god, she's not bleeding

Over and over
Thank god, she's not bleeding
I pick her up
Calm her down, so she's not screaming

Look at her little face
Her cheeks, so teary
It's a wonder I can hold her
And make her stop screaming

She's sleeping
Like a light, she's out
I'll sit here for if she starts screaming
Over and over
Addison Aug 2018
I wish I could be a rainbow
for everyone to see
Painted in the sky with
all the colours brilliantly

I wish I could go swinging
Swinging from a tree
All my friends and I
having fun, just to be

One colour, two colour, three
Oh so many things that I wish to be

There's flowers in the meadow
Smiling up at me
I still can't be a flower
Just being myself.

I can't be in the meadow.
I can't see the trees.
I can't see myself
Being what I want to be.

— The End —