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Jul 2021 · 90
cerulean
abs Jul 2021
cerulean - a deep blue, resembling the color of the sky

    deep sea
calls out to me
    twinkling its cerulean eyes
begging me to come by
    but woven in its waves
is a lovely gaze

oh how the deep sea
calls out to me
abs Jun 2021
ever since i was young, i've had this pretense of positivity brought onto me. oh, how sweet and personable she is, they'd say. i didn't understand the significance of their words at the time nor did i realize they influenced my whole life.
but y'know
life's full of mysterious things and reasons why and no one completely understands how it can simply ******* over
y'know
i have never pretended to be outwardly pessimistic. i believe that hope and love and life will surely have a happy ending, right? i'd say that i have always been the optimist; the hoper; the lover; the dreamer.
but you should know
life's full of mysterious things and reasons why and no one can ******* understand how the pain can simply end you
don't you think,
at this point, people should just give up? less pain, less heartbreak, less ache.
they would think
life's full of mysterious things and reasons why and they simply can't understand why it has to hurt like this
i'm sitting here thinking "what happened to being the dreamer of impossible dreams? the hoper of hopes flung so far that you're terrified you won't survive the fall down if you fail?
and well
i know
life's full of mysterious things and reasons why and i'm sitting here screaming "why does no one ******* understand?"
at the top of my lungs.
don't you dream impossible things?- taylor
i am and always will be the optimist; the hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.
Aug 2020 · 662
you're the whole circus
abs Aug 2020
you feel the strong desert wind
pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling
you feel the harsh sun's rays
shining and shining

then comes the raging storm
never dulling
incapable of lulling you to sleep

bright swirls dance before your eyes
you thought it was a joke when they
called you "the whole circus"
but now you know the truth

you feel the same chaos
of a circus in your brain-
swirling, twirling, crazy and never lazy-
the images fill your mind's dreams
not a meme lol sorry
Aug 2020 · 55
i'm sorry
abs Aug 2020
i know you're upset with me, but i see no other way

i don't love you

i'm sorry for the deceit but my mind tricked me too because

i lost you )):
Feb 2020 · 73
grand opening
abs Feb 2020
I've had a dream -
a small dream, but a
dream nonetheless
to have an outlet of
my heart's desires

I saved and saved
and thought and bought
and worked hard for
my heart's desires.

A building was sought
and bought and decorated.
My heart smiled triumphantly:
"Now open"
Nov 2018 · 163
hot showers
abs Nov 2018
trigger warning: do not read if you have depression.*

hot showers are always the best
when you're sad and depressed
what's the point in
staying in this joint
living your sorrows over and over
there might not be another tomorrow
black and blue
pink scars too
TRIGGER WARNING
Nov 2018 · 161
damn
abs Nov 2018
i saw you walking down the boulevard
next to her, throwing your head back in laughter at what she said
and i thought
"****, that was fast."
as my stomach churned

****...
Nov 2018 · 981
talk of blasphemy
abs Nov 2018
I was a girl and you were too
That was the problem with us
Our genders confined us
We were never supposed
To be together.

They laughed at us
Called us names
All because we started  dating
Talking on the brink of blasphemy
I loved you and you loved me too
Now there’s nothing left
Ever since the talk of
Blasphemy.    

They were two boys
Just like you and i
People said
“You can’t be together”
And they said
“Watch us”
They didn’t care what others thought
They didn’t let that get in their way.

They laughed at them
Called them names
All because they starting dating
Talking on the brink of blasphemy
They have the whole world left
They didn’t care
Because they were in love
Blasphemy never got in their way.

My best friend was a guy
And yours was a girl
And they fell in love
Their genders didn’t confine them
And neither did society
They were supposed to be together.

No one laughed at them
or called them names
When they started dating
No talk of blasphemy
That thought never came about
They have the whole world let
Because no one cared
They were in love
With no talk of blasphemy.

You see, society is so ****** up
Society has these rules that state
You can’t fall in love with someone of the same gender
Because it’s wrong or morally incorrect
People run away scared at the thought of blasphemy
Homophobia doesn’t mean you're scared of gays
It means you’re scared of god.

They laughed at us
Called us names
All because we started  dating
Talking on the brink of blasphemy
I loved you and you loved me too
Now there’s nothing left
Ever since the talk of
Blasphemy.
one of my oldest things written
Nov 2018 · 312
ineffable
abs Nov 2018
ineffable (adj.) - too great to be expressed in words.

my love for you is ineffable. i can't think.
it burns brighter than any star in any solar system
in my heart
its incomprehensible,
the way words escape my brain and
coil tight deep in my throat
just by looking at you
thinking of you
but, alas, you always seem to not notice.
when i see you in the hallways
i look at you, smile and wave
if only you could see that i was d r o w n i n g inside.
just from longing for
your touch
your attention
your love.
Oct 2018 · 290
iridescent
abs Oct 2018
iridescent (adj.) - producing a display of rainbow like colours.

we were walking
hand in hand
it was raining
you could see
the puddles forming
we stopped in front
of the biggest puddle
on the street
we peered into it
the beauty i saw
was insurmountable
your eyes shone
iridescent
abs Oct 2018
i guess i guess
we weren't at the same place
i guess i guess
freshman year was meant for mistakes

i guess i guess
i'm sorry
i guess i guess
i wasn't ready
i guess i guess
i didn't know what i wanted
and neither did you
i guess i guess
we weren't at the same place
i guess freshman year was meant for mistakes

i guess i had a lot of things
to say to you
i guess i hope this helps too
i guess i wanna say
i still like you.
i really like this one too ugh
Oct 2018 · 492
drowsy state of mind
abs Oct 2018
i live a drowsy city in a drowsy state in a drowsy country in a drowsy continent in a drowsy planet in a drowsy galaxy in a drowsy universe because of my drowsy state of mind
i love this one
Oct 2018 · 143
lies
abs Oct 2018
i told myself i loved you
even when i knew i didn't
Oct 2018 · 275
we were kids...
abs Oct 2018
we were just two kids
you and i
thrown together in the worst way
never meant to make it
always meant to break it
but we made it,
we made it.

— The End —