It's times like these were I long for your soothing voice and soft touch to comfort me in this difficult time. I am certain, it is clear, my feelings are no longer doubted. I have spent time pondering and crying only to come to the conclusion that I love you, I only love you and will always love you. Time is painful, a constant reminder of what I want and what I can't have, yet. This is the only thing keeping me going, the only thing keeping me from giving up. I can picture us in a thousand different moments, happy and loved. These moments pop into my head without making them, I don't know exactly why they do but I know they are from you God. These moments make me smile like they're from the past, memories. I have to remind myself that they're only a dream. I have to remind myself that I am merely alone, just a girl without love, without anyone. It's times like these were I wish I could run into the mountains and never come back.
It's goes like this..
I fell in love
With someone I knew I could never have
I was just another person
But it would never be anything more
It took me awhile to realise it
I slowly stopped asking questions
And you stopped all together
It was over before it even began
Its that simple.
so many reasons,
so many stones
for each poem
for every season,
a given reason
disappear as fast as
my island beach
of places momentarily visited,
capturing the of,
the exactitude of
where, when and what
what felled me,
the long and lat,
of the attitudes of
breeze and currents,
the happenstance that carries
a desperate soul
eager and afraid
"how fragile we are"
so memorized records here,
for his storage and his places,
both filled and unfulfilled,
poems, nothing more,
product of a flawed man,
here, for all to see,
most of all,
for the man,
to see himself
when the eyes of his mind
at last be shuttered
See them rising now, oh England
Heroes of our causes, past and now
Rising, as one, to defend
This beloved democracy of ours
See Britons of all colour, creed, and race
United under one banner, if not one face
To fight the injustice and tyranny
Both perpetuated by, and visited upon, you, and me
Are we not a nation of all values?
United, as a kingdom, in that we are free
Not all the same, how boring it would be
And where in freedom and democracy, is it stated we accept bigotry?
No racism, or slander, shall we have, not in our fair Britain, are you mad?
We are built of all peoples, from all places
A varied hand, to win the long game, is surely better than all early aces
We claimed we wanted freedom, separation
Proclaimed it "the people's liberation"
Yet how can we be trusted? I ask, when we cannot complete one simple task
To love all others no matter their skin
Nor creed, or where their story did begin
Think sadly of the many who are dead
Because we cannot get it into our head
That people, no matter their race, or religion, are certainly, not, better off dead
Young, impetuous souls, raised, often, with the prejudice of old
Do commit a new atrocity, because they cling to age old tyranny
We cannot accept those, other, than ourselves
We cannot learn, are we stone?
Oh no, but stubborn asses, to the bone
But stubbornness is no excuse for hate, if you cannot go with progress, and tolerance
Simply, move out of the way
For fuck's sake, we can barely cope
When someone wears the wrong style of coat
Without offering jibes or mockery
Oh what pitiful wretches, are we?
We, who disdain our own species and kin
All for what? Their language? Their love? The colour of their skin?
I cannot bear the thought, of such regression
To times of such barbarism and repression
Look now, oh, England, to our ranks of rising warriors, see how they are all different?
They are all, unique, to be sure
Yet are united, in a common cause
To rid the country that we love so dear
Of all the bigotry and tyranny and fear
That makes living, so hard, for so many
I ask, racists, bigots, what's the point?
Is there truly any?
Allow a rational person to answer, on your stead, and likely hit the nail on the head
The answer is no, there is not any
But cruelty and evil, I weep for man
For we are supposed to be enlightened, and so much more
Yet we seem not such, for even the worms, or the birds that prey upon them, do not hate, and kill for their uniqueness
So are we truly worthy to say we are, the greatest race on earth?
When we cannot put decency first
Over hatred of those different
Our own base evilness is an affront
To the DNA that grew to be, or so it thought a more evolved form, Is it truly we?
For it seems to me, that we are only truly advanced, in physiology
Our minds seem too small to comprehend, that in our universe, almost without end, there may be, many, vastly, different from we
Look again, oh England, to our heroes rising up, black, white, Latino, Greek, they are no different to you, or me
All came to seek, or were born, free
Their lives taken by human cruelty
I say, nay, I call, I do implore you to open up your door, see the world around you now, and help, not hinder, do you ask how?
Simply, be decent, lend a hand, accept, not, casual bigotry, take a stand
Be a shield, for those who need you
At the core I'm asking you to be human, give a shit
If you see harassment, don't walk by, help your fellow human, justice outcry
If you think rationally, you will see
I do surely ask no more than can be
Expected of any of humanity, fight so that all others may be free
I ask, specifically, the opponents of such, camaraderie, racists, bigots, whomever you may be, why do you protest equality?
Do you think, the colour of your skin, gives you some pedigree? Or immunity to sin?
Do you feel you are more deserving of the world than those who are different? Do you suppose you are superior? You bloody fools
Can you not use humanity's most basic tools?
Love, compassion, these things are given to share, not hoard, you unkind few, fear, for no good reason, those different than you
So, I suppose I'm asking you to say, why you feel the need to be this way, but don't tell me
Admit it to yourself, in stark daylight
And see if it holds the same weight and conviction as it does in dark midnight
When shadows hide your own deep prejudice, your weakness, tell me, what is this?
But a call to wake up and accept the truth, that you are the playground bully of your youth
You bully and hurt someone for who they are, how can we say, humanity has come so far?
If you are as much a racist as someone from centuries back
You cannot accept that we, are moving on
Sad, little, inconsequential, close minded man
Or woman, sadly racism does span, and spread, even to those who were, and are still themselves oppressed, racism is not born, it is deeply, an
and hatefully, bred
To hate our kin, although we all bleed red
Lo, since our fateful vote, I have seen too many, too many, jump aboard the boat
And lay the blame for all our country's woes, upon our, oft, ill chosen foes
We lay the bitter fruit of our own follies, at the feet of those, we already mistreat
And expect, that they will sup on bitter unjust fruit, and thank us as they choke on the juice
The fruit of our evil labours against, progress, and those people we expect to, now why do I say we when I mean you?
These people that you, expect to, sup, and be thankful for what you give, will not, nor should they, for they desire to not just exist, but live
We'll I've likely earned the hatred of racists, truly, I wish, I could say, this upsets me
But I care not, for I know, when, lo, England's heroes rise up, they shall go, and sweep forth, with such a might, and justice, such as all racists, shall be left down in the dust
I do believe that I am done, I bid farewell to everyone
And I hope you do remember, treat as you would be treated, one another, for at our core, We are sister and brother.
in one year
i want you to take me to the junior prom
i want the pictures and the four hundred dollar dress
i want you to hold me close, dance with aplomb
i want you to think to yourself, "thank god she said yes."
in two years
i want to run into your arms wearing a blue cap and gown
clutching your shoulders and whispering, "we made it," with a grin
in september, when school is beginning, please just stay in town
and before school starts again, take me places i've never been?
in four years
i want you to fall asleep with your head in my lap
on the couch of our small but cozy apartment
breathing slow breaths; in soft, warm blankets we'd be wrapped
you nestled to my breast; i'll make that three word statement.
in nine years
i want to watch you achieve your dreams and remember
that you played on the tiny freshman field at the high school
sitting in the stands, i'll wish to watch you forever
and try with all my might to remember that the world is cruel.
in ten years
i want to stand in front of everyone important to me
and declare that i love you and that i will stand by you,
for thirteen long years, your wife, a bennett, i longed to be.
i'll read my many vows to you and begin to cry on cue.
in fourteen years
in a hospital, i want to hold our brand new baby girl
i want you to whisper that she's perfect and kiss my forehead.
even when she's so new, we'll see the beginnings of curls
and, together softly, imagine all that lies ahead
there is so much more i could say to you
about how i imagine our life and how i love you, too.
but here i am, squinting at my computer screen
and planning my whole life at the age of fifteen.
i love you more than words can say.
hopefully these words i've written did okay.
happy two years together-- today.
watching the waves crash
reminding me of the impact of your lips on mine
looking into the depth of the blue ocean
reminds me of your sparkling eyes
as the cool water brushes against my skin
im reminded of your kisses on my face
how you tugged at my hair
its all physical
so why do i feel