my trust?
it died years ago
when i found that ******* thong.
the song that was once inside of me
is forever changed,
and barely hanging on.
you promised to be faithful
those words i won't forget
but your mouth only spoke
a whole bunch of *******
that now thinking back on
brings tears to my eyes.
promises of a life
that is undoubtedly no where near in sight,
i sit here longing for you to change
but it has become clear
the man you promised to be
has since then,
disappeared.
so do i dwindle on the past
and pretend everything is alright  
or do i run toward the light?
with a fist full of pills
and a bottle full of wine
i bid you adieu
and goodnight.

maybe one day soon
i'll wake up
out of this fog that pulls me in
inevitably, every morning
day and
night.
or,
maybe I won't.
I scream to myself WAKE UP.
but I can't seem to hear
so,
maybe i'll just stay here
lay here
calm and still
in this fog of unwanted despair.
yet, my hope
I promise you
is not tarnished.
although my brain has been scrambled
and my heart tangled up
I refuse to believe
the hope that continuously hides somewhere,
deep within
has been dimmed.
its light though fleeting and flickering
starts to slowly fade away
day by day.
So,
maybe i'll just stay here
lay here
calm and still.