Have you ever sat there,
and realized you aren't real? I have.
I think about it a lot actually.
I smile all the time, but I don't want to.
I would rather lock myself in my
bedroom and sleep.
Have you ever had a dream,
and realized that dream was better than your reality?
I have.. I do that a lot actually.
I dream about going places I've never been,
and meeting new people.
Though I can never truly get away.
Have you ever looked at passing faces,
and wondered who they are as a person? I have.
I watch people everyday and wonder
if they are happy, sad, what they're hiding..
I pick them apart and try to put
them back together, to truly understand.
Have you ever wondered, which
friends of yours actually know who you really are? I have.
I don't think any of mine truly understand
who I am as a person, or how it
would be to go through, what I have.
I truly think they wouldn't care to even ask.
Have you ever broken down,
and told someone your life story for them to just shrug it off?
I have. I've told select people every detail of
my life, and it seems like it doesn't phase them at all.
Like they're just reading another fictional
novel, but they're not.
Have you ever excluded yourself,
from all fun with friends, to where you're not invited anymore?
I have. I lost most of my friends because
I was too depressed to leave my room, and none
of them knew why because I kept it to myself for so long,
so they gave up on me.
Have you ever lied to the people who love you,
just so they don't worry about you? I have.
I am the only person in my life who truly knows the
pain I've put myself through, physically and emotionally.
In many ways I have tortured myself by doing so
and completely destroyed myself.
Have you ever thought back about your past,
and wished you could go back? I have.
I wish I could erase a few things, and restart others.
I think that'd make me a better individual and
I could have a new shot at being happy,
but I can't.
Have you ever wanted to disappear for a day,
just to see if anyone would notice your absence? I have.
Every day I think about driving until I
end up where I truly want to be, and I don't
think anyone here would notice,
Have you ever written,
just to get things off of your chest? I have.
I write every day thinking it'll truly help me,
and it has. I write about everything on my mind,
not for praise or acceptance, but to put myself at ease.
Just to get the weight off of my shoulders.