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a 1d
I was warned about the drugs they sell on the streets,
the ones you could slip into my drink,
and the ones that might become appealing to my eyes;
however,
they never prepared me for the one that comes with a smile
a Feb 5
The pier has born so many summers,
echoed our laughter
supported the children's running feet
Her appearance is of an old rock,
so many bivalves have grown,
dappling her regardless of any shade,
Sand gathers between the wooden planks,
bringing slim wands of green each spring,
a sight that has me out there with the radio and a drink,
enjoying the piers subtle monochrome beauty.
a Feb 5
a fresh start is a weird thing,
as if everything that happened to this point in time,
was a prequel to what comes next,
It feels as if that book closed and a new one opened,
appearing one word after the other,
yet slowly,
as if they have a calmness the first volume never possessed

they come as natural music,
as drops of rain upon a spreading leaf,
chaotic and rhythmic,
all at once

as these words form,
in deepest blue dancing over a white page,
they are as dance steps,
my own motions,
deliberate and intuitive,
yet also guided by the ever-present music

this is the way of everything,
the chaos,
the synchrony,
the guidance... and everything with a sprinkle of destiny

So long as I try my best,
I am always where I am supposed to be,
and there's a serenity in that,
to always be a part of the best story I am able to write,
to be a child of this universe,
woven into the fabric of creation
a Jan 30
i wish i could look at you
and see you
love you
for everything you are

but when i look at you
i see everything im not
everything i fail at

i want to be you
even for just one day
just to see what its like

to be approved of
to be wanted
to be praised

i dont know what im saying
a Jan 26
i can only sleep when exhausted
When i feel the tiredness in my chest,
in how i breathe
my thoughts dragged by in slow motion,
i slunk to a quiet spot and curled up
On good days id get three hours,
on bad days two
if i doze later on id wake as soon as sleep came,
always as fast as if a gunshot had sounded,
heart beating fast
and breathing as if id just surfaced from deep water.

After that it was time to get up, to do something, keep moving...
a Jan 25
pain has a purpose,
to teach us,
to educate us
to keep us away from unhealthy relationships
I've been pushing against pain for so long,
trying to medicate with friendship,
romantic notions,
but it returns in my weaker moments,
devastating me
To keep repeating this
will only prolong it,
keep the pain underneath when in truth
it must rise
but today
I make a new choice
one to welcome it as a friend,
to let it teach me what it must
Though I will be weaker at the moment,
I will be stronger afterward
I will let it in through my doors,
sit at my table,
talk until I am wiser even though each word is a silver blade
They say only the strongest of warriors choose their battles,
this is mine,
let me earn my name
a Jan 25
you never leave my mind,
youre always there
lingering

It's just incomprehensible.
youre my one stable force,
my one stability in a world filled with chaos
I so desperately need that in my life

I love you so much for that.

I’m in love with you and I can’t believe I’ve only just realized it.

This feeling is so strange;
it stretches throughout my whole body
It’s overwhelming,
yet makes me feel complete

It has no bound nor length nor depth;
it’s just absolute

It feels as though I’m in a dangerous fire,
yet I’m completely safe at the same time
It feels as though youve given me peace

It feels as though my heart is dancing around my chest;
and a hole,
I was never aware of was there,
has been filled

I feel so light,
like I’m on top of the world
yet my heart is constricting
and it feels as if there’s no oxygen in my lungs

It’s strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger,

to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them,



I know we’re only young,
and most people would consider me to be foolish and naïve,

but it’s true when I say that I love him
He’s my best friend and,
as cheesy as it sounds,
he’s my anchor
My one stability in this world filled with chaos.
#ewwlove
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