I don't want to feel this broken heart
I just want to be where you are
If its another day all alone
im not interested but I'm learning to move on
I promised you I would stay strong
but it's taking all I've got and some I'm not

We collided like a train rushing in from behind,
Your memory and I.
My breath stuck in my throat, unexpectedly.
Tears stinging my eyes, staining my cheeks, involuntarily.
Has your ghost been lingering, shadowed,
Waiting to spring upon me like a serpent in the grass?
Don't tempt me with that shattered past.
I'd gladly place the shards of history's heart back into your hands.
Blatantly disregarding every reserve my mind fires,
Happily risking it all just to taste our youth.
Begone with you phantom! If that's what you are.
Stay only if your monstrosity lingers well into our future.

Here I am once again trying to preserve as much sleep as I can for the next 4 hours 
Yet I close my eyes and my mind is still awake rushing with thoughts of you 
You used to be just a vision
Just an imagination I thought I would search my life looking for 
But you're real 
Never did I suspect it to be you or for myself to be so infatuated with every single detail about you 
It's weird thinking about a year ago before I even met you I spent nights thinking of you and writing about all the many adventures I'd have 
Although I have found you 
I do not have you 
Now what's the coincidence in that 
Maybe there will many other future "you's" that I wrote about 
But in this moment you are the poetry that runs through my head and flows so smoothly onto paper 
I do hope you are the boy I would speak so beautifully about in my writings 
And that one day fate will bring us together 
Or I hope that person I am suppose to be with is out there waiting for me just to run into him.