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Hallow soldier of a man
Feet made of concrete and heavy Boulders
Stood tall above me
Eating the clouds in his way
His body stretches to the stars and darkness of the night
His eyes like salty tears
Dropped shaped
Dark like his hair
He says with a tembling harsh voice that his love has changed
But so has he
He became cold like the soldier they wanted him to be
He no longer smiles
No longer has a spark in his soul
He stands like a telephone pole and let's his anger surge through his limbs
He looks too skinny to be himself
Too hallow and shallow
And he wouldn't say something like that, think again.
The person he was is no longer standing here
Rest in peace to the soul you were
I hope you find yourself again
Heart being pulled in every direction possible
He makes a smile grow that I believed was lost
Undiscovered feelings develop in the dark
And I want to hide from my own emotions
Never admit I'm falling in love with you
A soul that will never belong to me
Skin that will one day forget my touch
Lips that will never say my name in vows
I accept the fact that I'm not made for you
Shoulders weren't made to carry all your hurt
But they were made like umbrellas for your tears
I will try my hardest to guard you from my sensitivity
I know you wanted me for fun
But I'm too attached
Not to say
I'm falling in love with the thought of you
collarbones exposed to the sun like open hands worshipping God
words spoke as soft as wind
as gentle as the cold of the snow
the warmest smile you've ever felt
an abandoned home of a soul
giving in every way
selfish but only when expressing self-love
intentions as rule ridden as the laws of the land
nobody shall conquer this body
for it belongs to the lord
soul sold years ago
to a life far from touch
disappearing fingerprints
constantly changing into a person unrecognized
self-expression becomes more than words
skin like communication
eyes deeper than rock bottom
******* deeper into a void of the past
but shoulders built to hold a house of broken promises and disappointment
bags under eyes packed full of regret and shame
showers wash everything but the past
but still standing stronger
unbroken
at peace
a cold body rotting is all I am
bone decaying
flesh falling into the atoms they are
slowing turning into dust
casket 6 feet deep
tears from fake friends fall
everyone dressed in black
my lovers front row
to watch the body the once made love to sitting in eerie silence
cold and alone they will stand
unware of how broken I was
Don't be sad
Don't cry
when my body returns to the earth that birthed me
love is so free,
free to give
free to receive
the sun hums when you're around
the grass dances along with your steps
the sky glows and grins with your smile
It takes every ounce of will from stopping me from fall face first
into your arms and safety
his eyes stare at the lips he is scared to kiss
I can see dark thoughts overwhelming him like clouds rolling in and getting ready for a storm  
I fear of hurting you
but the opposite if love is fear
so I open my eyes and head straight towards your affections
because I am so eager to discover the depth of your love
I pour everything I have into forgetting the taste of your name when I wakeup
I spill all my blood trying to erase your words of love you filled my body with
I rip the flesh you have touched and I am letting them scab over
This is healing
I grow every day I don't hear your voice
I flourish on the days your memories don't have time to surface
I will never sit at the bottom of the stomach of a beast ever again
I will kick and stab my way out of the next controlling chains I am put in
I am stronger without the help of my abuser
I do not miss the way you hurt me
I do not miss the taste of own blood
I do not miss the way you said sorry after screaming until your lungs bruise
I only miss you late at night, in the comfort of my own room
since you've been gone
I've slept next to the most similar soul to you I could find
He sleeps every night to the sound of rain and thunder
I've found comfort in this because since you left I've become a storm
but he admires this about me
all the chaos you couldn't handle
he does with pleasure
He tells me my soul is a deep lilac color and he feels it when our skin touches
I've never been admired like the art my hands create
I haven't cried about you since the day I hung up the phone
not one single tear I think you deserve
I would wish you the best but I am too far away to touch now
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