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A Poet May 2020
I am the ocean,
under raging storms of my,
mental disorder

-Ocean
A Poet May 2020
Some like solitude,
   but no one wants to be lonely. . .
500 square feet, quickly turns into a castle.
   needles and glass;
line ***** tiled floors.
   eyes roll back;
is this tranquility?
  
-I am lonely
A Poet Sep 2020
Let me live
   under a tree of insecurity,
       with flowers falling,
           like flecks of rust off old iron
              painting a picture
                  of a bird that could not fly,
                        a dog that could not bark,
                            and a man who could not admit " I loved you"
A Poet Oct 2021
With my voice I call you,  
  with my heart I want you,
    with my nerves I feel you,
I love you. . .
Engulf me in your absence,
          fill me with your song. . .
You are eternally absent,
Born from perfected vanity,
     born to invoke anguish,
          for this loneliness numbs me,
Loving you this way it hurts,
     as you become o̶m̶n̶i̶p̶o̶t̶e̶n̶t̶ over my emotions,
I pray, I plead, burn it down
  for this love hurts.
A Poet Dec 2
You're happier without me,
I know I wasn't what you wanted.
Please, say you miss me, even though we both know you don't.
Say you love me . . . once more.
A Poet Sep 2020
Maybe one day,
You will love me.
. . .Yet. . .
I am doomed
to ponder,
relive,
wish,
die

in an endless sea of my own self misery.
So, hold me tight,
Whisper a pretty line,
Make me think it’s alright
Even if it just for one night.
A Poet Apr 2020
In my lowest,
   came the "hello"
Alluring eyes
   I'll admit
It was love at first sight.

    Endless hours
& words expressed
     Did you hear it echoing?
the heartbeat?

Beautiful Smiles
   Fiery kisses
empty bottles
    ***** sheets.

Paragraphs
  turned into "ok."
and an unread
you set off a dream in me.
Can you hear the echoing?
of my heartbeat?

Shattered dreams
   Empty tears
a one night stand
   but not for me. . .

this love is not enough.
--for me--
A Poet Apr 2020
Want every single piece of you,
want your kissing and your touch too.
I want you to treat me soft, but be rough too.
Friends laugh and say goodbye,
words of broken promises and bleeding hurt.
Hopelessly in love with you, I am deaf.
for baby I have drunk the poison of love,
for which we have no cure!
Yet I miss you,
toss and turn under the night,
when all the lights go out
it casts a shadow of doubt
tie me up
chain me down
throw away the key
don't let me walk
please. .
pull me in. .
hold me close. .
don't let go. .
for my heart has gone mad

-Only for you-
Romantic Cheesy Poem
A Poet Feb 2021
Longing for you,
  makes me contemplate.
     If this love is self hate.
         hate for a bird that can not sing.
            hate for a bird that wants to spread its wings.
                 hate for an ugly pigeon who dreams of being a dove.
you are everything
      I am ᑎOT
A Poet Oct 2021
It is not the pain itself,
It is the memory of having seen the bottom of the abyss,
The pain of each cataclysm, the pain of living torture.

It is the pain of these sleepless nights,
of this vile memory multiplied.
It is the pain of remembering your scent, It is the pain of this heart which beats through my poor crying soul.
The pain of reliving my abyss , full of nothingness, regret, empty , cold, desolate without you.

These memories bring me down,
     to the void, which I now climb alone.
A Poet Nov 2023
The peach tree died today,
dried from inside,
there is no butterflies, no bees, no birds that feast.
lie to me & tell me its okay.
Invent a story or two,
tell me the tap broke, tell me you fell asleep.
Just don't speak the unspoken truth, that you were busy with them.
As I was away dreaming of our future white picket fence. . .
A Poet Sep 2020
People are beautiful. . .
    
    Cities burn,
       I was five and he was forty-three.
     Bang!
       What an awful sound. . .

People are beautiful. . .

Piano Keys & Harps,
     Gluttonous Pigs.
Crash!
     Children starve!


People are ugly,
  - truth.
A Poet Apr 2020
. . .First I lost myself. . .
     . . .Then I lost my mind. . .
          . . .and then I lost my life. . .

-ignored my cries in my plea for life-
#homage
A Poet Nov 2021
I sit under the desert breeze,
under the tall palm tree pondering,
who I am, what I want,
  what I need, where I want to be,
      why do I live, why do I wake?
the desert sand on my toes, a slight reminder
  of living, a brief sign of my humanity,
        a simple touch. . . with no answers. . .
I am alone. . .
    not even my conscious answers.
          I miss myself. .
Why am I alone? why is my heart scattered
   upon the questions unanswered
          pondering; lack of living
                     I want to live; not p̶o̶n̶d̶e̶r̶
A Poet Apr 2017
Not a day goes by,
That I miss your touch.
Skies forever Grey,
Death had his way.

Life is full,
of a Judas kiss.
I close my eyes,
and dream of you.

Pray to death,
to be with you.
Years go by,
and here still I lie. . .
*All alone.
A Poet Feb 2022
Sonnets,
Matlaa,
Lipograms,
with all the complexity in the world,
I would still write
"I love you"
A Poet Oct 2020
You never knew heartbreak,
until you heard the words
" I love you, but not in that way"

. . . am I ugly?. . .
. . . is it my weight. . .

what's wrong with me?
A Poet Apr 2020
What
         if
           the
                 world
                           was
                                 like
                                       two
                                               souls
                                                          t­hat
                                                             ­     conjoin
What
           if
                the
                    souls
                ­            were
                                  just
         ­                               &
                                           right
                                                 dancing
                                                               in
                                                              ­     harmony
                
Leaving us in a state of endless ecstasy
                     --flowers for bombs—
                            No races, religion or ***
         in the phantasmal state.

       Stars pass and time is endless like a life age on earth
Timeless—
  Then I hear the neighbor sing, ****, never mind we are in a
         endless purgatory
#homage#pandemic
A Poet Nov 2020
Growing up a pirinola was gold,
  watching it in spin ,was elation on earth.
        Seasons pass and an adult is measured by his worth,
             Cars,
                 homes,
                    dollar signs,
looking back I was fine,
     I was richer then,
         and poorer now.
        

-PӨӨЯ
A Poet Feb 2021
Blood stained sheets,
   the smell of **** and ****,
      creases in white linen , never looked so colorful
          endless rivers of tears and anguish,
              dreary flowers in drool stains,
                    if sheets could talk. . .
                        they would beg "please stop"
                            above a never ending bedrock of old mattress springs,
                               that groin and creak,
                                   a tectonic shift of emotions,
                                         disturbed by a thunderous voice
                                               " clean yourself up, sorry"

a reminder you had your way. . .
         -ŘÃƤẸ
A Poet Nov 2020
darkened silent world
yearning for vibrant color
so be a rainbow
A Poet Apr 2017
Mother help me,
he comes in the night,
his touch hurts me,
he says he loves me,
The child stays silent,
Looking back his heart wants to scream.
Time comes to pass.
The man lays before me.
Dead,
why do I cry?
Tears please dry.
He deserved it,.

I was a child,
who he defiled.

*So why do I cry?
A Poet Jul 2021
Reality is reductive,
  mundane tasks,
      mundane days,
         wishing for the best to come.

Wanting what we can't have,
               Craving what is wrong,
                     Forgetting what we have,

over and over again,
   Reality is  ░r░e░d░u░c░t░i░v░e░
A Poet Apr 2020
I'm sorry,
   to everyone I ever loved.
     I am sorry to my mother,
        sorry to my father,
           sorry to my lover as he gazed down in regret.
               I don't know why. .
                    I honestly try,
                          I tell myself
                             STOP
                              STOP
                              STOP
                                 I'm sorry
                                    I remember the pumps
                                      The "Hold on"
                                         I'm sorry I want to see him once more. .
                                              I remember the lights
                                                 the cold white walls
                                                   under fluorescent light.
                                                       I will get help. .

But
I'm sorry I just want to see him again. .

-Relapse-
A Poet Oct 2021
Make me the exception,
let me love you; for she does not.
Make believe blindly in you and invade my heart,
****** me of reason,
turn my blood to flame and let burn with passion,
embrace me, never let go, live inside me.
Make me forget, please fulfill my r̶e̶q̶u̶e̶s̶t̶.
A Poet Apr 2020
A great poet once said we die unbloomed.
       In ignorance & isolation
Yet I feel it is in the darkest of places
       where stars shine bright
       where blue birds sing
       & a yellow brick road takes place.
It is in isolation where humanity blooms.
It is in isolation where we see that humans are truly good at heart.
       within the confines of ignorance
       that which we seek finally comes to bloom
       through the ponder and intricacy of the most beautiful flower
the mind and its product of thought.
A Poet Oct 2021
To my heart that is dead,
deserted of hate and love already lost,
to my heart held by the brakes of my flesh,
I say unto you, stop your song; as I give the twilights of my life.
To be reunited with him once more.
A Poet Sep 2020
With Anger!
    He tried to silence her song!
        In fear of his own timidity. . .
               But her song is carried,
                   In an endless river of life,
                       No matter the blows, the yells, the punches. . .
    His voice is like thunder on midsummer eve, it comes, and it goes.
                               But the river is eternal,
                                     It breaks off into endless streams,
                                               Thus, it continues to sing.
Homage
A Poet Oct 2021
Save me from this romanticized brain,
my body enacts its revenge,
  Engrossed in an end that does not end.
It penetrated my soul, my body, my mind.
Save me! Save me! From myself!
From these thoughts, of this **** r̶o̶m̶a̶n̶t̶i̶c̶i̶z̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶r̶a̶i̶n̶
.
A Poet Nov 2020
Among a sea of weeds,
be a rose,
elegant,
  beautiful,
      timeless,


- ᖇOᔕE
A Poet Apr 2020
******
        Ignorant
                    Flattery

when did poets become so
       --miniscule--
constantly partaking within a state of iterability
        Plato rolls in the grave
while Derrida weeps.

                         Sad state of iterability.
A Poet Sep 2021
In the mirror I see,
An old vase, full of white chrysanthemums,
Under a sea of emotions,
I imagine the vase in vast hues of blue, red, purple, green.
It changes and morphs into my creation,
but the chrysanthemums persist,
for a vase is a vase, change is change,
but what is inside stays the s̶a̶m̶e̶.
A Poet 7d
This love that echoes, in the chasm of longing.
  Whispers of winds, of lovers in a life before.
      Bound by a love that pierces the veil of time,
           Ethereal, Eternal, Fleeting Love.
              Two souls conjoined in purgatory,
                   beat with a single heart.
                      Forever bound, to conjoin, but drift apart
                          in this dance, let us hope we are given a second chance.
A Poet Oct 2021

I am lost in this dark road of sadness,
I walk ever deeper into the darkness,
     never arriving at the destination.
And from the shrouded dark abyss
of my own phantasmagoric creation I fail to comprehend.
    Am I crazed or simply blind?
Where is the light that they speak of?
  Where is the love we seek to complete our own failures?
Questions unanswered, stuck to this road
  please, teach me to live without s̶e̶e̶i̶n̶g̶.
A Poet 7d
Love me for me,
I am human, I am kind, I am normal.
Stop me! Tell me its alright!
For I fear to be myself.
A Poet Oct 2021

3:00 A.M. Text,
waking up alone
repeat, repeat, repeat
why do I answer the phone?
- S̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶W̶o̶r̶t̶h̶
A Poet Sep 2020
Smell of cheap coffee,
  an unwanted reminder
            of unassigned roles. . .

        Why did the leaf fall before the tree?
            Why did the moon howl at the wolf?
                Why did the bird swim far below?


Can you imagine a world?
     with no roles. . .
            no unspoken rules. . .
                  
                            - Choices
A Poet May 2020
Even
After
All this time
We do not say "sorry"
to mother earth
"sorry"
?simple?
!Wrong!
Look
what happens
with a love like ours
it only kills
destroys
burns.

-Hopeless Romantic
#Imitation#homage
A Poet Apr 2017
Watch the sky,
from light to dark,
wait for the sound of rain,
only to know your desire was in vain.

Hold my hand,
Such slender fingers,
two shadows become one,
two souls conjoin,
only to deform.

Our dream is but a crisis,
death closes in,
Screams gasp for air,
your hand turns to a tight fist,
two shadows become one,
as one dies out in the light,
your future is no longer so bright.

A tree grows out of tear,
each branch takes one more strand of hair,
time catches up to everyone
as you sit and watch the sky,
the rain finally came,
you meet death with a smile and a stare,
in heaven two shadows become one forevermore
A Poet Nov 2021
I am here in your eyes,
look at me, hear me, feel me,
better yet forget me
I am like you. . .
we are one in the same; one of many
we are nameless, due to our sameness
sparks, comets, eruptions, cosmic clouds fill the iris.
and yet we are all the same,
filled with darkness, filled with death,
filled with sadness
lost lovers, lost in the cosmic sea unaware,
of our loss of joy, loss of love , loss of fire
ardent passion filled flame lost to ashes,
we are dreamers, dreaming of the beyond,
dreaming of the cosmos, dreaming of love lost
dreaming. . . dreaming . . . dreaming. .
until the day finds us,
   time does not stop, nor is it forgiving.
       yet we cling to night, to our cosmic dreams,
as well fall into walls of depravity,
   on the foggy shores of life,
        on the train that never reaches the station,
we become fixtures, tied to our dreams,
   tied to the past we are s̶h̶a̶d̶o̶w̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶i̶n̶g̶
.
A Poet Apr 2020
Why is there shame?
    Why do we adopt a different tongue?
        Why do we call ourselves "ghetto not from this nation"

While Abuela rolls in her grave
  Each wrinkle a reminder of our greatness
      Each reminder  a moment of greatness once passed.

Do we call ourselves American to fit in?
   How do we face Montezuma,
      Our nation suffers and burns,
          Devils demonize
              Children Cry
                 Separated from mothers arms
                    In the name of Freedom!


So why is there shame?
    The rain a reminder of a tears of a once great nation
        Pillaged and burn our bodies became the bridge
          Our hands built this empire
             Our people yet are still slaves.

Where is the shame?
     Mother speaks in broken English
        Families laugh and our culture continues. . .

Stolen land, tears, indigenous **** time does not erase.
Nor should it erase our ANGER
But our people preach love not hate.
Once more we are beneath the masters boot.
Modern Day Slaves

But there is no shame,
for our culture exists,
even after the destruction of our once great state.
A Poet Dec 2021
When you say "I love you"
   you say it to her,
           you it to them,
          so I fake this s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶. . . because its hard to say goodbye. . .
                 what a fool I am. . .
A Poet 3h
The crinkle by your eye,
red flustered cheeks,
when your sly smiles starts to rise,
warms my soul.

Keep smiling, keep laughing,
your happiness, a buzzball of fun.
Invigorating, inviting & pure.
filling this world with delight.

Smile, always smile and be happy.
A Poet Apr 2020
Lights, marquees,
  3.5 million people
unpleasant smog, glass buildings
twinkle like night stars.

Cigarette smoke
  gin on the rocks
a lone over aged woman sings in the night
dry exhausted lips, underpaid dress

what is there to love
   when you let yourself go
      and now sit alone. . .
A Poet Apr 2017
Black lips and powdered noses,
Dilated black eyes, like a cat stuck in heat.
Ride the train where madness and ecstasy meet.
What are we waiting for?

Years go by,
full to thin, teeth to gums.
Blood so thin,
black asphalt cardboard lined bed.

blood drips, burned brain
snort it away
your soul is sold
*Sweet Snow Angel
A Poet Dec 2020
We are taught not to envy others.
   but I am a failure at life, a sacrilegious romantic fool.
I envy every second of the hand you hold,
so unaware as you gaze at your phone.
  Envy the seconds you sit together for a meal,
     ignoring one another.
        Envy when you sleep together,
           only to cheat together.

I envy others,
  my eyes fill with hate,
    for they serve as a mirror,
      in them I see me.
          . . .I'm s̶o̶r̶r̶y̶ . . .
A Poet Oct 2021

I am sorry to my heart,
sorry to my mind
sorry to my body,
sorry to my eyes that have cried.
I beg for forgiveness, for tearing them apart.
As I put my worth in the hands of men who never had that right.
A Poet May 2020
So many nights tears fell harder than rain;
     writing about you.
Used to look forward to death;
     To the day we once more met.
Yet, in endless agony;
     "He" made me love again.
So touch me, Hold me, Love me;
     So , I know I am not insane.
I used to be afraid to love;
     But, he  has me in love again.

-Sorry

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
♡┏┓┈╭━━╮┓┏┓━━┓♡
♡┃┃┉┃╭╮┃┃┃┃┏━┛♡
♡┃┃┈┃┃┃­┃┃┃┃┗━┓♡
♡┃┃┉┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛♡
♡┃┗━┓╰╯┃╰╯┃┗━┓♡
♡┗━━┛━━╯━━╯━━┛♡
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡­♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
#homage
A Poet Oct 2021
Inside my mundane complexion
constant tides and angry currents stir,
it bites and claws at my insides,
hoping, pleading, to form the words
for him to notice how much he means to me.
But another voice, internal screams out.
Even though ages have passed,
flesh has turned to dust,
my heart is yours,
my mind is yours,
my brain is yours,
my lust is his,
  but your voice,
         leaves me s̶p̶e̶e̶c̶h̶l̶e̶s̶s̶,
            as I know I am not the one.
A Poet Apr 2022
I smell the air, as clean as a city air can be.
I feel the pollen, with its unrelenting itch on my nose,
I hear the birds getting ready for the summer heat,
I see the lovers who always cross our street at three,
I taste the honey, that you loved in your tea.
I smile, three years in the dark,
three years blind, death, within the darkness of this world.
For you are gone, and that is okay.
For in these moments I know you stand by me.
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