Your abscence combined with
the scent you leave behind
gives me nostalgic feelings
of the happiness I define.

My heart shares compassion
with the emotions I have left
Playing with your words
The lies aren't strong enough
to fill the emptineness
my tears compile.

-a.s

I am afraid of failing.
Everybody expects me,
to be me,
to think deep,
find a solution,
and succeed.

I am a perfectionist,
I have always been,
I want to achieve.
And my mind tells me,
no excuses.
Yet,
Every time I fall,
reality hits me harder,
and I disappoint myself.
I realize I had set my standards,
too high.

I want to be independent,
strong,
and confident.
I will pull myself up,
because I need to prove myself,
I can do anything,
I set my mind to.

And I may have been through a lot,
But there's no reason to give up.

Dissappointments;
running through my head,
adding up to the negativity;
invading my concentration,
overwhelming my insecurities,
damaging my concience,
and taking over an angel's clearity.

-a.s

Momma always told me,
to never go to sleep at night,
when I'm angry.

She said that,
I'd attract negativity,
and that it would,
show up in my dreams.

Therefore I'm scared,
to fall asleep tonight.

-a.s

As a mom,
I can't speak,
she's weak,
she has to learn,
there's no return,
he breaks
her fragile heart,
she was emotional
from the start,
I didn't know
but I told her
to let him go,
she's on the
right track
and soon
I'll have my
daughter back
-a.s

I can helplessly assure you
that my dying love for you
has grown more and more
after every moment
we cried together.
This now vibrant love for you
stuck in a broken heart,
will be deserted and alone
just like I am right now,
crying in the same
hollow places as we did then.
-a.s

Baby
Please don't leave me
I'm desperate, don't you see?
I'm not ready for this
I need another kiss
I need another smile
Just stay for a while

Baby
Please don't leave me
Happy is all I want to be

-a.s

Is see her standing over there,
looking in the mirror
comparing herself to others.
She's hating herself,
because she doesnt have,
the beautiful ballet-arms,
or the widest gap,
between her thighs.
I never noticed,
how skinny she was,
until now.
I could almost,
see right through her.
Every time she concentrated more,
on perfectioning her dance,
you could see the layer of insecurity,
covering her capabilities.
She's passionate,
and has talent.
But she doesn't believe it.
And in her head,
she never will.

-a.s

I hear your voice inside of my head,
repeating all of the beautiful things you said.

I hear your voice inside of my head,
repeating all of the lies instead.

bang

I hear your voice inside of my head,
repeating how my blood was cherry red.

I hear your voice in my head,
repeating that I'm dead.

-a.s

I think I'm falling in love?

I hear your voice inside of my head,
repeating all of the beautiful things you said.

I hear your voice inside of my head,
repeating all of the lies instead.

bang

I hear your voice inside of my head,
repeating how my blood was cherry read.

I hear your voice in my head,
repeating that I'm dead.

I think I'm falling in love?

-a.s

I am a gift waiting forever
No one dares to look inside
Treasure hidden beneath pain
It's only one way to stay alive

Walls built, concrete failed
Colors mixed, oil staind
Beauty

-a.s

Your dangerous silences
make me doubt every word
that I had actually said
believing they came from my heart
knowing they came from my head

Your beauty is my beast. -a.s

She lay on the brancard,
She wore a playful monkeysuit
It reminded me,
of her cheeky personality.
As I passed by,
she looked up,
and smiled at me.

I wonder if she felt,
that I was a doctor,
she told me she'd be fine.

I knew that her injuries,
would be fatal,
I couldn't help (myself)
so I smiled back.

-a.s

I have hurt you,
while hurting myself.

I have hated you,
while hating myself.

I have left you,
while making this,
my
biggest
break
through.
-a.s

I am burning inside
I am looking at the smoke
my smoke, my ashes,
all evaporating from my skin
It's heavy and almost falls back
They almost enter my body
My confused pores open
and my body awakens,

-a.s

Bury me underwater;
where corals can grow like plants,
piercing through my veins,
sticking out of my rotting flesh.

Burry me underwater;
where my torso would be,
my own personalized treasure chest;
with my broken heart,
as the most valuable finding.

Burry me underwater;
where fish would feed off,
of my undiscovered bruises,
and my unhealed wounds,

Burry me underwater,
so I can feel again.*

-a.s

My heart believes
in our butterflies
as they grew up
in our fresh bodies.

Their healthy colors
making an artwork
resembling our love;

A nutricion
that evey heart
yearns for.

I try to tell my heart
that the butterflies
quickly fly away;
knowing they'd stay.

Believing in our love is as hard.
But lying to myself is way harder.

-a.s

I'd jump off of this canyon
these hills, mountains
whatever you call it

I'd die burning in the sand
the heat melting my skin
the wind washing ash away

I'd become my own fossil
waiting to be discovered
by some explorer like me
-a.s

I could give you every piece of me,
And still surprise you each day.
Will you keep looking for me anyway?
When you find me near your heart,
You will never forget how the moon
shined brighter than the stars above,

Comfortable dancing souls;
Capable of love.

Then;
my poems were about;
our positivity,
our happy emotions,
our belief in neverending love,
our belief in us.

My poems made your heart race,
and made your soul feel my warmth.

Now;
my poems are about;
my negativity,
my sad emotions,
my misbelief in neverending love,
my misbelief in us.

My poems make your heart break,
and make your soul feel my frost.

Freeze to death, please.

-a.s

I feel suffocated
Not being able
To write down
My beautiful
Painful words
On this blank
Piece of skin
With my sharp blade
And my red ink.
-a.s

the smile,
on your face,
is controversial,
to the sorrow,
in your eyes.*

"Your beautiful eyes, aren't supposed to cry."

Travelling with the speed of light, in the darkness of the salty waters; these fish are like no other. The way they separate their personal space defines the disturbance of our minds. Finding yourself at peace is like a fish returning to it's 'crowd', taking their own route, finding happiness in a place where there is no drought.
-anne

Don't let go
of the soul she loved you with
even if her rays of light
brighten your eyes
and weaken your bones.

Don't lose comfort
when developing new emotions,
you haven't felt before
because you're blessed to even feel..
-a.s

What am I going to do,
knowing I'm lost without you.

What am I going to say,
when I am blocked by these clouds of grey.
(When I am used to being your prey)

What am I going to think,
when I take my last drink,
drowning in my own ink,

-a.s

After that other encounter,
I thought I had no tears left,
but my eyes proved me wrong.
As my heart ached and my mind screamed, the last words echoing in my head were the ones you told me before you jumped and left.
My tears leave my eyes,
in the seconds my heart skips a beat
but I can't stop crying out of misery.

I can't stop loving you

Don't wake me up
when I'm drowning
because I'm melting
in the sorrow your bones present
to a soul so daring as the ego that
masks my identity.
-a.s

We make the history,
that love want us to be.
Same *** marriages,
who would have thought?
Relief in the eyes of all ages.
We have the freedom to accept
not only who we are, but what we are.
-a.s

Halloween tricks our souls
into a wave of sorrow that escapes each christmas carol about to be sung.

A cold weather combined with
depression calming the air, hopes and wishes, waiting to be fulfilled

I know I'll find my happiness
when the trees blossom and the birds gossip often, for then my body is heated with the sunshine
I'll be able to feel again.

Our love was eternal
now my loneliness is forever
I was alone in love
I was more in love with love
than being in love
with a person so raw
from the heart.
-a.s

I dream of you;
every day of every night,
every star of every light,
accompanied by your soul
my mind is being told
to follow my heart
leading a path
back to yours.
-a.s

alone,
accompanied by her shadow,
she sat in the cold forest.
the long extended branches,
of the tall trees,
reminded her,
of her own unfinished growth.

her bottled up emotions,
were hidden for way too long,
she couldn't bare it anymore,
and lost it all.

the different voices,
discussing in her head,
trying to harmonize,
but driving her crazy instead.

her thoughts were burning,
the depth of her mind,
and the smoke in her sight,
was keeping her blind.

the air surrounding her,
felt heavy on her skin,
whilst the flames that kept gathering,
committed a sin.

the air was filled up,
with her own ash,
while her palms,
were being kept warm,
by the scattered heat,
surrounding her anxiety.

a cold breeze,
which was sated with dust,
caused by the quenched flames,
passed her chest,
when suddenly,
she felt a sense of relief.
one she had never felt before,

-a.s

I want to use the knives
you cut my dreams with
to cut my long locks,
preventing myself
of using that rope
to slowly exonerate me
of my problems
and relieve me
of all the pain
accumulated
in my soul.
-a.s

you know how to tear,
                            break,
                            stab,
                              &
                            ****  
                my fragile soul.

And so you have done it,

and so you will
                            keep
                                     on murdering
                                     other innocent souls.

I fear something
I can't feel or see
Something
I have no control over

I'm heading no where
There is no direction
I'm scared
Nothing feels right
I can't touch
I'm blind
I'm scared of what defines us

the future

-a.s

A feather like light feeling,
when I have the world
dropped down on my feet.

Jumping with no progress
a flash of light, your eyes used to shine
passed me by as
I hear my last breath
I feel my last heartbeat
-a.s

Do you still feel sorrow if tears are dust? A soul that can't handle the disadvantages of emotions, will not be strong enough to compete with love.

Anne

I want you to fight for me;
Show me what you want me to see.
Let it revive my heart, fill it with hope I'm not sure how much longer
I have to wait, to let you go.
-a.s

This wave of sorrow,
guiding the tears,
over my numb body.

This wave of sorrow,
taking away my smiles,
replacing them with frowns.

This wave of sorrow,
overwhelming my heart,
slowly tearing it apart.
Leaving my chest,
like an empty box,
filled with tears.

I'm staring,
pondering,
silently,
at nothing.
Suddenly,
I feel,
a layer of grief,
flow over my body.
I have no pain,
yet it is unbearable.

-a.s

Stuck in quicksand,
i reached out,
to grab your hand,
you just stood there,
looking at me,
with a slight laugh on your face.

the resentment,
in your beautiful eyes,
pushing me down,
forcing me to drown,
Taking my last breath,
I give up.

Something,
I forbade you to do.

-a.s

A star hidden in a garden;
Eden has lost his path.
You grow with the angels
only heaven can encounter.
You bloom with the moon
when a new phase emerges,
And your azure eyes enliven
the soul you had been given.
-a.s

You trusted me when you handed me
the broken pieces your soul consisted of. I never had somebody dedicate their heart to me in the way you gave up on yours.
-a.s

The golden jewels of your soul,
Embellished in my broken heart,
The silver flakes of my breath,
Adorned your unfaithful words,
How could a beauty like love,
cause so much damage to our
diamond-filled bodies?
-a.s

You took my breath away
when I thought I had nothing to feel.

The senses you sang to me
only felt so real because they were;
Merged in every smile you impressed me with.

I couldn't associate your silences
to the feelings we reciprocated.

Trying to understand each move you made,
I forgot how to adore you
in every way possible way.

Now you are gone, and I have nothing to lose.
You were what was left of me.

Anne

You only left me memories
my gray matter could not process
And emotions my heart was never
acquainted with

I won't open my eyes for you
As I know tears will roll
On the surface you just kissed

Please don't leave footsteps
in the concrete my strength built
-a.s

As my hands run down your chest
You fingle with my breast
I kiss you slowly
Bite you unexpectedly
Turned on by you
Turning you on too
Exploring with my hands
As our bodies kind of dance
Similar moves
Similar grooves
A playful kiss
Is what I miss
You pin me down
And kiss me hard
As my heart beats faster
and I think of the stars
-a.s