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Nov 27 · 245
Qui Sumus
A M Ryder Nov 27
If only they asked us who we were
Instead of what we hoped to be
Perhaps the tides of life would stir
And drown the myth of destiny

We walked where others led
Convinced the end was worth the pain
But found the paths we hoped to tread
Were mirrored trails that looped in vain

Who we are was never asked
And who we are, we'll never know
A shadow cast, a question masked
By what they'd hope we'd choose to show

Who decides what form we take?
What mold could hold the restless mind?
The world, it seems, must bend or break
Yet asks the broken to be kind

On we marched, a scripted role
Each line rehearsed, each step aligned
But with every act, we dug a hole
And buried parts we'll never find

Deep beneath the guise
When all ambition fades away
We'll find no answers, just the lies
We told ourselves a long the way

The void, at last, will fill the space
Where questions hung and answers fled
It cares not of our time, or our place
It gazes back and calls us dead

So in the end, when the silence grows
And all masks are cast away
The self we left unloved, will show
And greet us as if we never strayed
Sep 20 · 401
Corvus
A M Ryder Sep 20
Creatures of
The night
Speaking only in
The language of
Wings in flight
Raucous caws and calls
Such stark delights
Their bird brains
A substance
To behold
They play and
They learn as
Ancient tales often told
They are symbols
Of fate and omens,
And "What's to be"
Guiding us along
Paths unknown
And simply unseen
Apr 15 · 520
Felix Pauci
A M Ryder Apr 15
We are going
To die and
That makes us
The lucky ones

In the teeth
Of these
Stupefying
Odds, it is
You and I
In our
Ordinariness
That are here

The needle won't
Reach the record
And that's ok
We reach for
What to say
As the silence
Grows too strong
Yet nothing ever
Remains within
Forever is
Far too long
Apr 10 · 571
Bellum
A M Ryder Apr 10
You see that?
That's a whole
City on fire
The war will
End.. soon
But before
That, a lot
More people
Have to die
Apr 3 · 577
Circo Da Alma
A M Ryder Apr 3
You scramble amid
The shattered
Jagged facets
Of yourself
A circus show
Of a hollow soul

Dreamshards
Timepieces
You caught a
Falling star
In a dead field
And it twisted
Life-like
In your grip
Apr 3 · 734
Amor Sicut Deus
A M Ryder Apr 3
He asks me if
I believe in angels
And before I realize
I don't have the heart
To tell him, I tell him
"Not Lately.."
And just wait
For him to hate me

But he doesn't
Know how to
So he never does
Loving like a man
In the time
Before God gave
Man religion and
Left it to them to
Figure out
What hate was
Dec 2023 · 1.5k
Stuntman
A M Ryder Dec 2023
I want to be
Your ex boyfriend's
Stuntman and do
All of the things
He never had
The courage to do
Like trust you
Dec 2023 · 730
Gecko
A M Ryder Dec 2023
If you cut a
Gecko's tail off
It'll grow back

If you do
It again
The gecko
Would be like
"Dude.."
Nov 2023 · 964
Memoria
A M Ryder Nov 2023
When all
You have
Are memories,
Who will
Remember you?
Nov 2023 · 285
Medicinae
A M Ryder Nov 2023
I take drugs
To wake me
I take drugs
To sedate me
I even take drugs
To make me
Not hate me
All these drugs
Have me wondering
Lately what drugs
Ill need for
The things
That await me
Oct 2023 · 1.1k
Nihil Nisi Tempus
A M Ryder Oct 2023
I had nothing
But time
I could see
The life of  
It in all its
Fleeting
Terrible light
Wondering
Had I lived?
Was I the
Object in
Another's story?
Was that all
I ever was?
Could I
Be more?

Nothing but
Time and still
No answer
I had glimpsed
Into the mind
Of eternity
Perhaps the
Mind of god
And found
Nothing but
Silence
Oct 2023 · 151
Sticks & Stones
A M Ryder Oct 2023
Sticks and stones
May break
Your bones
But you've
Never held a
Broken heart,
Have you?
Oct 2023 · 227
Confido
A M Ryder Oct 2023
I am happy
With not being
Worth lying to
Sep 2023 · 156
Kind Words Cost Nothing
A M Ryder Sep 2023
Only a
Sunny smile
Little it cost
In giving
Like morning light
Scattering
The night
And making the
Day worth living
Sep 2023 · 122
Cupiditas
A M Ryder Sep 2023
I always
Needed more
I always needed
Something else
There was always
Just a missing
Piece to me
Being okay
Sep 2023 · 2.2k
Nulla Differentia
A M Ryder Sep 2023
"Am I evil?"
Worse,
Youre smart
When you know
Nothing matters
The universe
Is yours
And I've never
Met a universe
That was
Into it

It grazes on
The ordinary
Creating infinite
Idiots just to
Eat them all

Put a saddle on
Your universe
Let it kick
Itself out
It'll never stop
Trying to throw you

And eventually
It will
There's no
Other way off
Sep 2023 · 452
Thief
A M Ryder Sep 2023
You have completely
Stolen my heart
And I honestly
Never want you
To give it back
Sep 2023 · 1.2k
Monstra
A M Ryder Sep 2023
We are not
The monsters
That we sometimes
See each other as

I don't need you
To understand me
I just need you
To believe that
I am having
A human
Experience

Just believe
I'm a person
And that I'm
Going through it

Because
It takes one
To know one
Aug 2023 · 1.2k
Deos In Nobus
A M Ryder Aug 2023
We, these wing'd
Wicked things
Filth and fiends
Fearless and free
Terrors that soar
Waking you
From fevered
Dreams
Mayhem
On a whim
Fugitive as
The wind
Christened
In sin
Do you truly
Know your
Wolves within?

We are you
The madness
That lurks
Within your
Deepest animal
Mind; begging
To be free
Aug 2023 · 1.2k
Morbus Animi
A M Ryder Aug 2023
Nothing to prove
Or disprove
About yourself
Or to yourself

None of us
Have to
"Go to" anyone
And the idea
That we do is
A mental illness

We can't keep
Going to
Each other
Until we learn
To go to
Ourselves

Stop making
Our hatred of
Ourselves
Someone else's
Job
Aug 2023 · 3.1k
Maskless Mayhem
A M Ryder Aug 2023
The mind, divine
Through the vine
Of time
Tangled, entwined
In some
Grand design
Of marvelous form
And numberless prime
A nothingness enshrined

All the light
We cannot see
Lovely, dark,
Soundless and deep
Figures shift, restless
In the mist
A maskless mayhem
Patiently waits
Aug 2023 · 1.1k
Laedere
A M Ryder Aug 2023
I'm telling you
That it hurt
And you don't
Get to deny that

When a person
Tells you that
You hurt them
You don't get
To decide that
You didn't
Aug 2023 · 1.1k
Existentia Agonia
A M Ryder Aug 2023
I started isolating
Myself, used to
Say everything
I was feeling
But then I guess
I just stopped
I wanted them to
Love me for who
They thought
I was
And not who I felt
Myself becoming

Ever think about
How horrified the
People we loved
Would be if they
Found out who
We really are?
So we dig deeper
Into our lies everyday
Ultimately hurting
The only
People who
Are brave enough
To love us
Wish I was
Brave enough to
Love them back

We don't have
As much time
As we think
Aug 2023 · 1.2k
Friend's Funeral
A M Ryder Aug 2023
My mind drifts
To that night
You streaked down
Mainstreet shouting
To the late
Night world
That you
Were free

I manage to
Barely stifle
A little laugh
But they all
Knew it was
Me, their eyes
Surely said it

In that box
You're still as
Free as you  
Were that night
And I'm just
The guy who
Laughs at his
Friend's funeral
Aug 2023 · 815
Mors Facilis
A M Ryder Aug 2023
In a senseless
Explosion of
Sound, you are
Reduced to a
Crawling thing
On the margins of
A disintegrating
World with a
Lush numbness
And peace that
Lulls the mind
Making death
Seem so easy
Jul 2023 · 578
Dolor
A M Ryder Jul 2023
Hurt people
Hurt people
And the majesty
Of this tragedy
Is the precious
Knowledge of
Our own
Self Destruction
Jun 2023 · 1.2k
An Event
A M Ryder Jun 2023
Something is about
To happen that
We are not aware of
Our only chance
Is to keep our
Heads low and
Act like we're
Changed men
Because we're
Very close to
The end
We need to be
Okay with mysteries
And the stories
They breed
There will always be
Far more questions
Than there are
Actual answers
In this universe and
We need to be
Ok with that
Jun 2023 · 2.5k
Kindness
A M Ryder Jun 2023
This kindness?
I don't trust it
Like a purple sky
Before a storm
Beautiful; but
Do you realize
The birds are
Agitated and
The ants are
Marching in circles?
Oct 2022 · 2.0k
The Bux
A M Ryder Oct 2022
Being a partner
Means you're just
Making coffee

You start to
Realize that
It's just work;
An opportunity
"To do"
You're not learning
You're just
Doing something

Then it starts
To mean you're
Not getting by
You're "going"
And it's just a job

Your fellow partners
Aren't just colleagues
They're a company
And you're just
An employee
Sep 2022 · 3.5k
Daisy in the Meadow
A M Ryder Sep 2022
What is beautiful
About reality
Is what is beautiful
About math
There are
Many things
That have happened
The things that have
Produced this moment
Are at most times
ASTRONOMICAL
Meaning so big
It renders itself
Incomprehensible
Yet.. it happened

Even if the
Numbers against
Stand taller than
The daisy itself
Ever could
It still remains
In the meadow
For you and I
To see
Sep 2022 · 1.3k
Untitled
Aug 2022 · 3.5k
Scars Forever
A M Ryder Aug 2022
A lot of you
Would agree
That this world 
Would be a
Better place
Without me

I don't disagree 
In fact, I've been
Wanting to leave
It behind
For as long
As I can remember

So this is
The part where
I'll never recover,
The part where
Life takes me down,
And the scene
That scars
Forever
A M Ryder Aug 2022
There's no easy
Way of asking
I already know
What he's going
To say but
Maybe he just
Needs to say it
So I ask
Him anyway
"Are you scared?"

Only smiles
And a patience
I've never seen
In the face  
Of someone
Who knows
That they
Are dying
Jul 2022 · 927
Ignorantia
A M Ryder Jul 2022
All I believe in
Is that no one
Knows anything
I believe in
Sheer ignorance
Anybody that
Claims to know
Something
It's like
"How could you?"
We're clueless
Jul 2022 · 2.0k
Excellens
A M Ryder Jul 2022
Finishings can be
The hardest part
In these final steps
All the craftsmanship
Has already occured
The finishings are
Mere inevitabilities

You must
Come to terms
With the idea that  
Perfection is a
Necessary goal
Precisely because
It is unattainable

You must reconcile
Yourself to failure

It's not perfect
You have to make
Your peace with that

How?
Well..
You lay out
Your tools
And you
start again
Jul 2022 · 272
Sweet
A M Ryder Jul 2022
I hadn't yet realized
That growing up
Was all about
Getting hurt
And I've got
Scars that say
I'll never
Really be ok
But when
You think
You're gunna
Die yesterday
Today is sweet
Jul 2022 · 152
A Thousand Times
A M Ryder Jul 2022
I must've asked him
About a thousand times
"Are you okay?"

And a thousand times
He would say
"Yeah"

Sometimes you just
Don't know
How unhappy
Someone is
Jul 2022 · 1.5k
Ice Cream
A M Ryder Jul 2022
The worst part
About being sick
Is you get all
The free ice cream
You can ask for
And the worst part
About that is
Realizing there's
Nothing more
They can do for you
Jun 2022 · 352
Not Cool
A M Ryder Jun 2022
I never called
You my cure
But I looked at
You everyday
Like you were
The only reason
I was still alive
And that's
Just not cool
May 2022 · 1.5k
Untitled
A M Ryder May 2022
But what
Happens when
I just don't want
To get help?
Like I don't want
To convince myself
To live longer

I'm so through with
The population,
Being human,
And being myself

It's like I don't
Want to stick
Around and see
If it gets better
I don't want
To get better

I want to be dead
I want to be nothingness
Apr 2022 · 1.1k
We Who Write
A M Ryder Apr 2022
What intrigues
The flint
To spark a thought?
Is it sadistic?
Is it sympathetic?
Recognizable,
Understandable,
Plausible?
Do you ever
Know enough?
Lost in search for
The heart
Of the matter
Do you truly believe
In this world
You've created?
Apr 2022 · 2.6k
If I Lie
A M Ryder Apr 2022
The past
always seems
To chase after us
When I choose to lie
I've learned to never
Let it go any further
If I know
I did something
That I'm accused of
I confess

I don't want to play
Cat and mouse
Delaying the inevitable
Is the worst game
You can play
And never win

If I did it
Then I did it
And that's all
There is to it
Apr 2022 · 258
SeaWorld
A M Ryder Apr 2022
Captivity in
Concrete tanks
Takes away everything
That makes life
Worth living
Everything they
Need to do
They can't do
And everything
They don't
Want to do
They're forced to do
Jan 2022 · 1.9k
A Kiss Good Night
A M Ryder Jan 2022
Sometimes she blows
Cigarette smoke
In your face and
You call that love
Not because it is
But because
You want it to be

You're so ******* lonely
So ******* unable
To handle the
Ocean roar in your
Ears when you're alone

You tell yourself
That the ash in
Your lungs is
As good as
A kiss good night.
Dec 2021 · 1.4k
Permafrost
A M Ryder Dec 2021
Permafrost can go
As deep as
2 miles into
The earth
Way down there
Are these plants
Still alive and
Waiting to be
Discovered or
Thawed out

There's all this
Living stuff
Underneath us
Just waiting to bloom
Dec 2021 · 1.0k
2 Santas
A M Ryder Dec 2021
When two Santas
Enter a room
Things can get
Ruthless
Dec 2021 · 899
Ours is War
A M Ryder Dec 2021
The first step is
Radical honesty
With ourselves

We don't intervene
We invade

That's not
"Collateral damage"
Those are
The corpses
Of children
And their parents

Ours is not defense
Ours is war
Nov 2021 · 1.5k
Untitled
A M Ryder Nov 2021
You're the
Oxygen mask
To the plane crash
That I've
Always been
Nov 2021 · 916
Cor Confractus
A M Ryder Nov 2021
I know how
Dark it Is
For you right now
You're in hell
And the only
Way out is
Through a long
Dark tunnel
And you're afraid
To go in
Because there's
A train coming
At you carrying
A boxcar
Full of heartbreak

And all you
Can do is
Let it
Hit you
Nov 2021 · 2.1k
It's Better that Way
A M Ryder Nov 2021
Somewhere
Out there
A stillness
A darkness
Yet known
A nothingness
Awaits us
And it's better
That way

The purpose of life
Is that it ends
And people
Don't think
About death
Until they're
Forced to
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