I have run out of words to express myself.

I think I'm losing myself

In my obsession with beauty

Because I can't. ever. be. beautiful.

And there isn't a word

To explain

THIS kind of self-loathing.

Is Justice Really Blind?
Or can she truly see
My skin tone, my ***** hair
what makes me.. really me?

Is the fact that I'm black
Is my every single action an act
of violence or hatred for my fellow man
or can that statement I retract?

Can I fit outside
a created stereotype
can I be myself and remember my roots
can my race and the world, call a truce

My skin may be different but my organs the same
I didn't pick my ancestry, so choice isn't too blame
Can I turn back time... can I change my race
just do in this world I can have a chance.. a better place?

You don't like me?
Wow I'm so devastated
I'm going to go die now in eternal misery and disappointment
OH wait
oh yeah! that's right!
I literally do NOT care at all!!

To my ladies with a little extra meat on your bones
There's no reason you should cry or think you'll forever be alone!
If you don't have a Barbie doll waist
and if you have a bit more jelly in every place
You know what that means, you have a whole lot more ****, and when you were built to contain
All of the love, passion, and ****! that's what you were built to maintain!

Now to quote the late great Freddie Mercury
His music is something I hold very dear to me
And this is dedicated to my thick women with style by the pound
and I quote, "Fat Bottomed Girls you make the rockin world go round!"

My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again