"Envision yourself working in your own office."
"Envision yourself writing prescriptions for your patients."
"Envision yourself receiving a huge amount of money."
"Envision yours-"

She stopped mid-sentence and looked at me.

"I want you to dream high, my dear."

"Mom, I want to become a writer."
"No, being a doctor is better."
"But mom, I want to study literature, I want to publish b-"
"I said no."

Mom,
I know you wanted to become a doctor way back then  
but mom,
I have my own dreams too.

I can't imagine myself working inside hospitals
I can't imagine myself writing prescriptions
I can't imagine myself receiving a huge amount of money

but mom,

I can imagine myself working inside my own office,
I can imagine myself writing stories and not prescriptions
I can imagine myself starting with a small amount of money
but most of all,

I can imagine myself smiling despite these.

You told me to dream high,
and I'm sorry because
Mom, I failed.

I told myself not to dream high,
I told myself to dream deep.

I told myself to dream deep
and plant my dream in the deepest part of my heart
and make it grow -
that even my heart can attest that my dream was all I ever wanted.

My dream grew deeper
And the roots grew stronger

and I can tell,
Mom, I failed to dream high.

while having a terrible storm,
I told you —
there will always be a rainbow after

when the storm ended,
you looked up and asked,
"where's the rainbow?"

I looked at you,
continuously searching for the rainbow, and said:
"I am the rainbow."

I don't know
what I'm feeling right now
but if loving you
meant riding the same roller coaster
way back then,

I'd gladly join you over and over again.

our happy memories
served as the ink of my pen,
that when I lost you,
I never got to write again

I let your warmth melt my cold facade,
Entangled in intimacy & vulnerability,
We've reached an equilibrium —
Creating the warmest winter

"You are my sunshine...my only sunshine"

"You make me happy when skies are gray"

"You'll never...know dear...how...much I... love you..."

He closed his eyes and I hugged him tight. He didn't hug me back.

"Please don't take my sunshine away"

melancholy lies
in follies we've done

last night —
we decided to climb a mountain,
we had a good start, but,
the moment we felt like giving up,
we decided to stop —
unpacked our bags,
and when everything felt lighter,
we continued the hike

I want to be your haven -
come close, never hesitate,
you're safe with me,
I'll keep you warm -
Amid this storm

para sa'king sol,

ang nagsisilibing araw sa buhay ko,
para sa'yo itong tula,
hindi ko na papahabain pa
alam kong hindi tayo puwedeng magsabay
kaya't sa'ting paglayo sa isa't isa,
sana'y masaya ka,
at sa kabilang dulo ng mundo,
susubukan ko ring maging masaya
sa alaalang minsan tayong nagtagpo,
pero hindi talaga itinadhana

patuloy na nagmamahal,
luna

though clouded with doubt,
I let myself believe in your version of truth —
until I no longer do.

keep your eyes closed,
take a deep breath -
hold my hands
we will cross this tightrope together
you just need to trust me -
and we will be alright

Meeting you
was the prologue
of a complicated story

Memories with you
were the chapters that developed
the "love" felt all throughout the story

Finding out
that you'd rather have my best friend than me
was the unexpected plot twist

Breaking up with you
was the epilogue of our story
that turned bittersweet.

You asking for a second chance
was an invitation
for a sequel

But my dear, I'd say no to that
For I cannot erase the period I placed
At the end of our story.

She was at the bottom of the ocean -
like a sunken city that no one bothered to look for.
She was found once by an amateur diver
But that diver can only settle with looking at her from afar -
For he neither knew how to dive deeper nor to explore further.

every time I'm in the state
of euphoria -
you're always that gravitational force
that pulls me down

take a deep breath
and take my hand,
let's defy the stars together
even though our efforts —
will remain futile until the end

I created a world —
enough,
for my loved ones to enjoy
but then —
they started to leave,
then my world became flooded with questions —
was it really enough at some point
or maybe —
someone else's world was far better than mine

though I am certain,
a single question
is enough
to send me
to the pits of
endless doubt

every night
I'll secretly tell the universe
that I love you
and I will never stop -
until all those I love you's
become the stars in the night sky

we used to be together -
but then we drifted apart
by unknown forces
which we cannot control

I'm no lightweight when it comes to drinks,
But when I drown myself in your words -
I lose the battle against intoxication

we're not expressive in terms of actions,
we're not fond of kissing nor holding hands,
instead,
we're fond of words and poems -
we touch through words,
and kiss through exchange of poems

you burned your finger
while you're in a rush
to light up the candle
to save you from darkness

the same way I burned my finger
when I tried to revive the light
in the last candle I have
to save me from nothingness

a matchbox, a candle, and a struggle —
welcome to the burnt fingers club,
were you trying, to find meaning
in the dark too?

the moment -
that I started writing poems for you,
that's when I knew,
deep inside my heart -
you're different from everyone else

once again I'm in the dark
lighting the candle
over and over —
until I finally lit up the candle
only to realize
I've used up all the matchsticks
and they're all looking at me,
burnout but happy,
that finally there's the light
and I found my purpose

she sat at the end of the hallway
trying her best to fill in the gaps,
only to realize —
she's from a different puzzle

often times when you get too deep,
diving seems so risky —
for I don't know,
how far I can go,
but nevertheless, I still want to know,
the mysteries and the secrets,
you've buried a long time ago

there's beauty
in letting the sunrise of your smile
pierce through the stained glass windows
of my shattered heart —
illuminating the picture
of what could have been.

I've always been the moon whose light was never enough,
and you were Icarus who was too enthralled by the sun

if diving deeper into the ocean
is risky, and I am the ocean,
would you take the risk?
If I can either drown you in me
or bring you back to the shore safely,
would you trust me?