I hate the way you laugh
I hate the way you smile

I hate the way you kiss
I hate how you’d rather just sit back and talk for a while

I hate the way you look at me
I hate when you don’t look at all

I hate when you remind me of my wrongs
I hate how I feel so small

I hate the way you make me feel
and most of all I hate how I don’t hate you at all

one word
it’s enough to hurt me.
it’s not your typical insult,
nor is it mean.
it’s a name...
that one single name
can slice a new cut into my heart,
make my eyes prickle with tears
and make my throat feel like i have barbed wire wrapped around it.

if only i had been enough for that name to not exist

death,
pain,
love,
heartbreak,
failure,
and abandonment.
they say it’s inevitable.
are we inevitable
or are we forever?

help,
i’m lost on the way back home again.
everybody knows,
our love is six feet under.
it’s a hostage love,
forced and closed off.
we are a secret that no one knows.
i’m breaking at the seams,
lost and confused,
abandoned by you.
but it’s not your fault.
its mine for falling so **** hard

i crave innocence.
i want the hand holding,
the shying away from you,
the blushing,
the pure compliments,
i want everything.
i want the pure love for you.
i want you to look at me with love in your eyes and passion in your soul.
and when you look at me,
you don’t see me as a prize
or a toy
but as a girl
i want to be yours

never would i have guessed
that you and i would stay friends,
much less be friends.
you have shaped me into the woman i am today.
you’re a lovely soul
with a beautiful smile
and a warm heart.
we always joke,
cry,
and pig out on junk food together.
you’re my best friend.

you brought her along.
her gorgeous laugh,
wholesome smile and beautiful face.
no one understand each other more than us.
we are the three musketeers.
we are best friends who have been through the beat of times and the worst of times.
it’s us against the world.
the world is ours for the taking.
only you guys don’t want it...

please put down your weapons
and dismantle your armory.
this isn’t worth the war.
please forgive each other.
it’s both of your faults
but also neither.
you’re better than this.
please be better than this

you hold my hand
and i ask why you haven’t let go yet
“because it’s you”
you reply

you ask to hug me
you stand there for
what seems like forever
i ask why you haven’t let go
“because it’s you”
you say again

when you let go
your face lingers in front of mine
for about five seconds
and then it gets closer
and closer
my breath is shaking
my heart is racing
you kiss me
lingering for ten seconds
then you pull away
you smile and look like you’re going to explode
i ask why you’re freaking out
“because it’s you”
you laugh and kiss me again

you tell me i’m beautiful
and that it’s a shame i don’t know
and i ask why would you say that
it’s not correct
“because it’s you and you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen”
you say with a smile

i tell you you’re handsome
you say no
i say yes
and then i say agree to disagree
and you say no
and i say “because it’s you”

what happens when we get older
you go one way and i go another
when we meet again
and you say i’m beautiful
and that you loved me
and i ask why
you’ll say
“because it’s you”