Take my winnings and leave me with my mistakes...
Brighter days be gone from memory.
I've seen the sudden loss of life that only comes with ******....
memories of happier days are clouded in my head,
I try and find a simple thought, to over think and push away the images that that staind my brain and hid so much of myself away....
See I try and be a good guy,
Most child killers do!
Most of us, not all of us but certainly some, myself included.
Take what they see and then forget it all.
It's easier to sit in the moment, relive the trama, and resee the colors and hear the screams because after that life was gone so we're our dreams....
We keep so much away from others,at 12yo I saw a homie blow a pleading man's head off.
I don't wanna think more about the good times...... Take my happy days back.....
At 13yo i watched bodies drop after I took the shot I was told to take.
How can I see there fate so suddenly come to an end, and smile at the birth of my son....
There souls set heavy on my shoulders, I say nothing of there demis. Who am I to speak apon another man's life that my hand has taken?
I'm sorry, that I at the time I was a stone and showed no hesitation, taking away the one person that could have saved us....
No I cry in my sleep... when they come back in my thoughts and create nightmares as vengens....
Others see me distant and angry but
I just lose myself in practicing apologies.....
So when you holla and I ignore ya, or turn around and unload on ya. It's cuz I'll never find the words that'll make my theft of life ok......
Send my happiness to the souls