I can only remember
to cherish it when it's gone
I can only remember
how I loved it when it's lost

When you read a story
and it ends short
you are left hanging
you are disappointed

When you read a story
and it ends long
even the problems has been resolved
you are still disappointed

you've already lived through the story
every main character is a friend
every nemesis is an enemy of your own
you wanted to see every characters story
but your time is not enough
the story has been too long
it must end

stories
even when short or prolonged
endings
even when hanging or solved
still leaves a sad longing
at the end

I dont give a ****
I dont give a ****
I didn't really wanted to have that
I didn't even liked that person
Nevermind me

These are the words I say to hide my weak self
I don't want to claim anything
For I am always afraid
Afraid to love
and to lose that love
Afraid to want
and never getting it
Afraid to chose
and at the end not to be chosen

I don't attach myself to anything
To not get hurt
At the end no one did hurt me
But still
Yes, I am not hurt
But I am lonely

My mind isn't a one way track
The weak train who is now almost giving up
From the back and forth ride
Decisions are made only after
Thinking about it a 100 times
After my actions are done
I think about it a 100 times more

The weak train who is now almost giving up
The train wants to stop
The train wants to rest

The train doesn't know itself
The train asks if he is indeed a train
The train thinks he is no longer a train
but a pendulum
from those thoughts always swinging back and forth

The doctor says thinking hardly is a good thing
Inorder to come up with a good decision
But doctor
what you dont know is
the train still hasnt made a decision
it's mind is still full of question
running back and forth
till now, it still hasn't reached its destination

Reality is what separates the real me and what you see
Reality is what we call it
but how come we can never be real in this world we call reality?
In order to survive reality
we must change, conform to the standards set by this "reality"
we must hide the "real" us. Lock it up inside the box we call the mind
The real me only now exist in an imaginary world made by my mind
Facing reality another persona is created
A fake who lives in Reality
Someone who is kind hearted and good.
Always pleasing people.
Praisng the one's higher in heirarchy.
Never forgets good manners
Always says thank you
when the "me" inside my mind just shouts out
"*******"

Reality is what separates the real me and what you see