"Fairy tales do not tell
Children that Dragons Exist.
"Children already know
Dragons Exist.

Alone in my head,
I'm feeling so low,
You wont understand,
No one can know.

My eyes are so tired,
I can't sleep at night,
Your face haunts my dreams,
When I turn out the light.

It happened so suddenly,
It happened so fast,
I knew all at once,
That none of this would last.

Was I just a game?
Was this all just for fun?
Did my feelings matter,
To anyone?

"This didn't mean anything",
That's what you said,
As I was so shamefully,
Getting up from your bed.

I held my head high,
As I walked by your side,
Tears welling up,
I was dying inside.

Weeks have passed,
Keeping secrets, telling lies,
I don't have the strength,
To look either of them in the eyes.

My heart has been broken,
Not once, but twice,
Once by my best friend,
Once by the love of my life.

Deep down inside,
I know it's my fault,
So I'm just going to lock it,
Away in my vault.

Sometimes I still think of you,
When I'm lying in bed,
Still all alone,
Inside of my head.

Here I am, stumbling down the street
The rain's pouring down
I'm staring at my feet

But splashing on my feet it is
my tears and not the rain
They're are salty and bloodstained
From my agonizing pain

Nobody could be more
mad at me than me
Why was I so stupid?
Never again will she trust me

She's asking me too many questions
Ones I want so much to ignore
But I've brought this on myself
What else could I have been asking for?

When I think about the way things are
The tears roll down my face
If only I could turn back time
I would've never ended up in this place.

She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here

They cut her heart
Right out of her chest
Making her believe
That the demons knew best

They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right

These demons were destructive
Knocking down the life she knew
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too

These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales
They live inside your mind
Their evilness prevails

So on the bridge she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night

I wish that I could talk to you,
and beg you not to go.
I wish I asked what you were going through,
but now I'll never know.

I wish that I had some warning
of what you'd do that night,
and that you'd given me a chance to save you,
to help you make things right.

I wish that you could've soldiered on,
and worked through the pain.
If you had, I promise you,
you would've been happy one day.

I wish that the last time I saw you
I didn't rush away.
I wish that I had hugged you harder,
and told you I loved you that day.

I wish that I could bring you back
to see you one last time,
to hug you close, to hear your voice,
and then the world would be fine.

But all these things can't ever happen,
the nightmares are all about you.
There's not one thing I can change,
because these wishes will never come true.

The day I met you,
my life changed.
The way you make me feel is hard to explain.
You make me smile in a special kind of way.
You make me fall in love with you more,
every single day.

There once was a time if I just closed my eyes,
I could see us together as one.
But after these years of growing apart,
I can see that dream is done.
You were the one who knew me inside and out,
And always knew just what to say.
Any problems I had would disappear,
When you said it would all be okay.
There was always a special connection with us,
And these days it seems to be gone.
Whatever we had died a long time ago,
But it's just so hard to move on.
Those times I'd drown in the blue of your eyes,
You never noticed a thing.
There were nights I laid awake and thought,
Of the love our friendship could bring.
No matter how hard I've been trying,
The truth is so hard to see.
I guess it takes a while to let go,
Of something not meant to be.

The nights you left me, sitting, waiting for you to call me back,
All the times you promised to keep me company.

What happened to your heart, wheres the person I used to know,
What have these people done to the one I love

Your sparkling blue eyes, almost like the sky above,
the sky lacking the affection
shown by these amazing features.
Your voice is sensational, ringing constantly in my ears,
lingering only to remind me of your kind and gentle ways.
Your smile is warm, showing love to all things seen.
Your presence is what I long for every minute of the day.
But to my disappointment,
I can only dream of the time that we could be together.
I'd love to run my fingers through your silky hair
that flows ever so gently free,
Believing that together we will be,
delicately framing your fragile face that beams with joy.

Your humor delights me, it will obtain my attention always.
You act with concern for all creatures
and long to portray a positive message to all people.
I see your face only in my dreams for short while,
but long enough to reach out and touch you tender heart.
My mind secures a picture of you so that we will never be apart.
Through all the storms and seasons, you are the only one.
Constant, always caring, bright, shinning as the sun.

I knew someday it would have to end
I knew eventually I would have to go back to calling you friend
It's killing me that now that day has come
If it's for the best then where is this pain from
I know deep inside that this is what I had to do
but it's breaking my heart to walk away from you
I'm trying my best to appear strong
but it's hard when part of me says that in your arms is where I belong
I still love you with all my heart
that's not going to change even though we're apart
You were my first love and my first kiss
There are so many of our special times I'm going to miss
All the words I ever said or wrote still hold true
But for now from a distance is where I'll be loving you
I think you need me as a friend to help you through
because there are things I can't control that are hurting you
We both have issues no one knows of
neither of us had the strength to be true to our love
Maybe we will be together again if it was meant to be
but for now please don't stop loving me
Even though I'm not your boyfriend I'll still be here
With a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear
The story of love can be quicker than the blink of an eye
But our story of won't be over until the day that we die
Until We Meet Again

It calls me closer, its calls me near
"Just once and it'll be over"
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and earlier cries
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent me, long since fled
Anger and rage consumes me
My minds demons bursting to be free
The walls of my cage finally cave
"Just be still, just be brave"
I slash down with an improvised knife
"Forget this world, forget my life"
Blood oozes and drips down the drain
A slight tingle but no real pain
A Calmness comes over me
My last attempt please, it's got to be
"***** everyone, that's made me into this"
The very same people who I'm going to miss
Tears stream down my cheek,
My head feels heavy, I get dizzy and legs go weak
Darkness surrounds me, I get a glimpse of the abyss
I embrace the darkness, then hear a shriek...

Then nothing.... Blankness, no sound
I feel my body drifting
I hear scraping, something's stirring around
Surrounding me, I can here creatures shifting
I hear a scream, I hear a moan
I want my family, I'm all alone
I hear cry, I hear a sob
And realize it's my own
I know I have sinned, still I pray to god
"Please get me out of this hell"
I start to yell...
No sound out my mouth, only in my mind
No one to help me, no one for me to find
I've never felt so scared....
My soul finally screamed and despaired
"I give up..."

A light???
My consciousness returns
As it starts to get bright
I feel myself falling
A faint faraway voice, I hear someone calling
Brighter now, getting brighter still
I feel myself escaping from this hell
Has it been months or has it been years?
Since I was stuck in that prison,
Trapped with my fears

I open my eyes, and look around
I'm lying in a bed in a hospital gown
The worried looks on their faces makes me ashamed
Sitting and staring no one makes a sound
"Sorry" is all I say...
Mother starts crying, my farther is sad
Finding me like that, must have been bad...
I get a kiss and a cuddle,
A pat from my father,
My minds in a muddle
I still manage a small smile,
And close my eyes for a while,
I promise myself, from this day on and till I die
I'm going to be the best person I can
Or at least try
Like a old cliché
"Live everyday like it's the last"
Forget all the bad days, I'm leaving them in the past
The sun is shining, my dark clouds have vanished
My demons have gone, finally banished
Life is good, life is great,
Forget wallowing in self pity
I tell you, straight.

Late one saturday evening,
I go to see the sunset once again.
My lost faith and a bottle of jack,
One bottle down, and love lost something i will can never get back.
I sit here just day dreaming of your touch,
Your gentle love and silky skin,
For you anything i will do,
Never for me, only for you.
Wheres my pen to write my goodbyes,
Why? no one will read a bunch of lies.
Come back too me and give me the sign,
rely your trust on my shoulders,
My heart will always be yours.
Lost in the world with out you presence,
Unforgiving sin and diabolical fragrance.
Attracting the weak, The night is when you hunt,
You helped me through the dark,
But it seems im back to the start.
Lets write.

Forever feeling her life is dying
But the doctors keep on lying.
"Your daughter will be fine,
Just give her some time."

But she wasn't okay
Because your baby girl took her life today.
She couldn't keep running
And she wouldn't stand living.

Her silent plea's for love
Left her heart on black doves.
"I'm in pain"
Her innocence cut, her pride slain.

Her cries fell on deaf ears
So no one realized her fears.
No one saw her fatal change
Until her heart was out of range.

She wrote out letters
Saying her life would be better.
She laid the pistol on her heart
And blew her body apart.

Her parents cry themselves to sleep
And all her friends weep.
They loved that girl well
And left her alone in Hell.

Maybe her soul can be free
And everyone will see
The lost life of one teen
And the love there could have been.

I listen to the soft gentle flow of your voice,
Your words touching deep inside my soul ...
Intensely searching, longing to feel
the rhythm of our hearts beating as one ...
Time stands still for the love we have suddenly discovered,
the sunlight has cast our shadows side by side for eternity ...
As we journey through life's passage,
the depth of our love is unmeasured.
But for a few brief moments together,
we long to explore and trace patterns of our love upon our souls,
writing memories of once penned thoughts
and emotions for the eternal bliss of a lifetime as one ...
I love you for who you are and for the
tenderness of your love that completes me.

Hey,
Don't worry about the things people say,
Your my only one, and I'm not going away.
Together we will  stand, through it all
We wont let stupid things make us fall

Trust my words, please just believe.
I'm here for you, I swear I wont deceive
I love you more then your eyes can see
I'm always on your side Have faith in me,

Hey,
Don't doubt my love, I swear it's true.
I will never stray,  All I need is you
A love like this was worth the wait
We are meant to be, This is our fate.

Trust my words, please just believe.
I'm here for you, I swear I wont deceive
I love you more then your eyes can see
I'm always on your side Have faith in me,

Trust in me, just believe.
Have faith in me
please
Have faith in me.

you know I love you dearly
but I cause you so much pain
I cannot find true happiness
and you feel you are to blame
it seems so unjust
for me to make you feel this way
it's so hard to decide
whether I should leave or stay
staying is not wise
as faking happiness is exhausting
leaving's a bit worse
for your heartbreak I would be causing
so show me what to do
help me to be strong
lend a helping hand
give me your shoulder to cry on.
I need you

My bodies cold
lips are blue
why did I do this because of you?

I feel the earth below me
like a pillow under my head
no knives, no guns, but pills instead

The bottle lays empty
cap unscrewed
what did I do? what did I do?

My spirit floats my body lays
my lover finds me
and she prays

I reach for him
I'm ****** away
like a deep crest of a wave

she pounds the ground
screaming why oh why?
I asked myself why did I?

My parents arrive, my best friend too
I thought to myself, What did I do!?

I look away the pains to deep
my life is over because of me

I look back for one last glance
they zip me up in the body bag.
I did this to ease my pain
I lost instead of gained

as I look down my family
I regret that night
my life stopped ticking
because of a fight.

I awoke in a dream with your fragrance lingering from the night before,
what a night we had, spending the night in each others arms and each others hearts.
Listening to one another say why we love the other,
Looking so deep into each others eyes that we struggle to squeeze out words to express our utter enjoyment.
Why couldn't this have been real, all my imagination.
Just sleep walking

Some call it crazy
Some say it's sick
But I think it's freedom
The pain is fierce but quick
Some say that it's a sin
Just a little to risqué
But it helps release the pain
That I go through every day
The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
And decide how deep I cut in
The icy chill running down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
F**king up on everything with every breath I breathe
But some days I want to stop
Feeling like everything's wrong
Trying to let go of the blade
Sometimes I can but not for long
It's like I'm addicted to the pain
The feeling taking refuge in my veins
Leaving me feeling confused and alone
Wiping at the streaked tears that seem to be stained
Burned into my skin forever
Becoming a part that I cannot escape
Sometimes I just want to hurt all over
To scream at the top of my lungs until they break
I want to escape from my sadness
It's taking over me
Why can't I just rest
Why won't it let me be
I just want to be free

As tears run down her face,
she realized she's made a mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's to strong.
The bloods running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut to much.
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.

Your smell in my nose
Your hair on my clothes
The perfume you wear
Lingering around me in the air
Your hand in mine
Your eyes, they shine
Your love in my heart
Never ending, always there
Though these miles keep us apart
They will never tear me away
In your hands, I put my love
In your love, I put my life.

Her eyes, they used to shine so bright,
Her wrists, scared with the troubles of her life.
Her heart, so warming and so pure,
Her words, so confident and sure.

Lately you've been digging your own grave,
Burying all the love that I gave.
Loss in reality and the ideas of living,
Giving up on everything, your life is slowly slipping.

But thats what you've always wanted,
Always taking yourself for granted.
Your life being over, thats nonsense,
What happened to all your Confidence.

Although your mind is corrupt with death and ******.
Even though your lungs are filled with tar and tobacco.
Even though your kidneys are strained with liter after liter of alcohol.

I still see the child in your eyes,
sitting in the corner,
afraid.
Alone.

The child that was abandoned by those he loved.
The child whose childhood was stripped from him.
The child who was forced to become a man when he wasn't ready.
The child that eventually became a monster.

My friend
When I see you I am filled with disgust.
When I see you I only see blood lust.
The child in you has gone, died out.

The object in it's place is neither man nor animal,
but the creature we were taught to fear.
As I look at you, the image goes obscured.
The ripples in the water make you indistinguishable.

So for now I say goodbye my friend.
My true friend.
My only friend.
My reflection in the water.

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people,
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.

I get this funny feeling way down deep inside.
My hands begin to shake whenever she walks by.
My heart begins to pound.
My head begins to whir.
Each and every time I even get near her.
I keep asking myself why I can't even say one word.
My mouth begins to open but my words come out all slurred.
It's really no big secret that I have the biggest crush.
everybody knows somehow that I might be in love.

Lost in the forest of memories,
The map of depression is the only guide i see.
****** razors, burning glass,
Death and darkness is all i ask.
Summarizing this story this paper will shred,
Asking for this to be over, asking for death.
Close my eyes and there you will be,
Open my eyes and all i see is me.
Where did you go when i needed you most,
the love you claimed to felt was just a hoax.
I know i will find my love, this is for sure,
Lost without a map, in search for her.

I look at myself in the mirror,
Disgusted by what I see.
Every time that you get nearer,
Is an unsolved mystery

You left me in the rain,
All alone and scared.
I dealt with all the pain,
From the love that we once shared.

My days and nights are mixed,
I can't stand another day.
It's something you can't fix,
With something that you say.

This ticking time bomb can't wait,
It will explode any minute.
If it is what it is then it's fate,
And neither of us will win it.

You hear of true love
In movies and books
But not based on
Popularity or looks.

I've searched every corner
Deep in my mind.
But this one little thing
I just could not find.

For it was not in my head
But deep in my heart.
Looking for this
Completely tore me apart.

Then one day I found it
This thing we call love.
It's something wonderful
Sent from above.

We stared at each other
As our faces turned red
Yet nothing was spoken
Nothing was said.

No words were needed
Because our hearts said it all.
We'd be together forever
For in love we did fall.

I slit my wrist to erase the pain,
you look at me, and think I'm insane,
my eyes turn red, bleeding my tears,
and still you try to protect me from my worst fears.
Look at my scars then you will see,
why I can't seem to go around and fake happy,
yet you tell me you love me, that you'll forget,
for I'll soon be gone, and I'll be your greatest regret.
So let me die, broken and scarred,
I can't deal with life, it's getting far to hard,
everything's gone wrong, it's not worth trying,
so leave me alone because I feel like I'm dying,
I don't want you to worry,
because my life is ending in a hurry,
I'll be fine, and happy you see,
for death is what I wished for and soon it will be.

You held my hand,
Looked into my eyes,
Said those three words,
It was our moment, Our time.
Time can heal,
But time, too, can wound.
Slowly you pulled away, There was nothing I could do.
Your touch never fades,
Your voice, it stayed,
But my heart, you took away,
Leaving me to wonder,
Will you ever come back?
My heart still aches, my tears still drop,
Pieces of my life are missing,
I still feel empty, I tried to stop,
Refusing the want or need
To hold on to the time long ago.
Sorry after sorry, you said to me,
Just one look at you, I said, "It's okay, really."
You asked me what could be done to make things better.
I said nothing, but my thoughts begged to differ,
I had to fight the urge to say, "Maybe you could come back."
You smiled the smile I love most,
The smile I would do anything for, no matter the cost,
But I knew things are never going back again,
I lost my love, I lost my best friend.
Possibilities are still open, chances are still there,
And I'll find someone who can fix the inside of me,
Or maybe our paths will cross again,
And this time, with hope, you'll stay.

I am learning how to live
In a new way
Since that day
You were taken away.

I am learning how to live
With the things left unsaid
Knowing I got to say them
With every tear that I shed.

I am learning how to live
By embracing the pain
Knowing that you live on
Through the memories that remain.

I am learning how to live
Knowing I will never again see your face
And I have peace knowing
You’re in a better place.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

She HATES him,
With all her heart and all her soul.

He was hopeless,
He couldn't do anything right.

When she was in darkness, he offered her no light,
Instead he joined her.
When she was down, he didn't lift her up,
Instead he joined her.
When she cried, he didn't make her laugh,
Instead he joined her.
When she was wounded, he did not cure her,
Instead he joined her.

In the end she couldn't take it,
She told him to leave,
For once he did the right thing...
He left.

Watching the flowers fall to the ground,
She realized her mistake,
His love, after all, wasn't fake,
So she waited...and waited...

She LOVES him,
With all her heart and all her soul.

Looks like the things he did,
were right all along.

The long never ending messages,
The back and forth good byes.
The lost child I once was,
The one who was lost in the night.

Heads you win,
Tails you lose,
Such a childish game
Yet here I am,
Flipping a coin
over and over again.

Heads you love me
Tails you don't.
My heart yearns for more.
It yearns for truth,
The words in your mind,
The emotions in your core.

Heads I love you,
Tails I don't.
Trying to make sense of this.
How do I feel?
What do I feel?
Or is this simply a trick?

Heads you think about me,
Tails you don't.
Do I ever cross your mind?
Do you ever worry about me?
Wish I was there?
Have you ever given me a sign?

Heads you win,
Tails you lose.
Such a childish game.
Yet here I am,
Flipping a coin
Over and over again.

I know we never had our first date
things were difficult but we still stayed up late
talking about what we wanted to be
I wanted you, I thought you wanted me

I loved the way
you put your hand upon my face
looked into my eyes
the way your lips taste

Friends come and go
sometimes they stay
Enemies have hurt us
is it a price we pay

Do they ache
like we do
are you grieving
like I do for you

I hoped, I wished
I loved, I missed
you held, you cared
you hugged and kissed

I hate the way you moved on
but only because I want the same
but that's so hard to do now
When I have no one to blame

I walk the face of earth once more,
a mindless puppet, my strings are torn.
the creaky bones, the bad eyesight,
yet the chance to turn wrong to right.
wars-a-waging, old mans guilt,
the worlds now on more then just a tilt.
parents weeping, children slain,
****** thoughts, fear will reign.
I look in the shadows, a creature did lurk,
he whispered to me, hiding a smirk.
"Thou shalt be killed if thee can't find,
the demon lurking in thou mind."
So off I ventured, to quench my thirst,
of corpses piled with hearts-a-burst.
And on that quest what did I see?

The Wicked Path Of Destiny

Have you ever been around someone
and just couldn't think?
Have you ever been around someone
lips, soft as a rose's pink?
Have you ever been around someone
heart as vast as the open sea?
Have you ever been around someone
together forever you wish to be?
Have you ever been around someone
into their eyes you gaze?
Have you ever been around someone
piercing the soul like the sun's rays?
Have you ever been around someone
and chose to run and hide?
Have you ever been around someone
scared of what feelins are inside?

Have you ever .........

You changed my world with a blink of an eye
That is something that I can not deny
You put my soul from worst to best
That is why I treasure you my dearest Marites
You just don't know what you have done for me
You even pushed me to the best that I can be
You really are an angel sent from above
To take care of me and shower with love

When I'm with you I will not cry even a single a tear
And your touch have chased away all of my fear
You have given me a life that I could live worthwhile
It is even better every time you smile

It so magical those things you've made
To bring back my faith that almost fade
Now my life is a dream come true
It all began when I was loved by you

Now I have found what I am looking for
It's you and your love and nothing more
Co'z you have given me this feeling of contentment
In my life something I've never felt
I wish I could talk 'til the end of day
But now I'm running out of things to say
So I'll end by the line you already know
"I LOVE YOU" more than what I could show.

Let me tell you about a game I play
Where I close my eyes and fade away

I float away to a special place
Beyond the stars and moon and space

In this special place you see
There are only two people - just you and me

In this place, all is right
Nothing but love, and we never fight

In this place, there is no sadness
No drama, no courts, none of that madness

No rules to follow, no laws to break
No bars to hold us or separate

No one to tell us we can't kiss or touch
I don't just tell you "I love you" - I show you how much

But eventually the game must end
My eyes must open, and reality sets in

But someday soon - I'm not sure when
I will close my eyes and play my game again

A kiss of passion
In a moment's lapse
Seems to linger longer
With a fervent fiery flame
Burning between our avid lips

Wrapped up in a romantic nuance;
A feeling never felt,
Never known, never shown
Never till now
Under the moon's radiant glare

We feel the wind blow smoothly
As it caresses our cheeks ever so tenderly
And we embrace the dark night's sky
As my head tilts closer to you
And our eyes meet in a timeless glance
Before they close and we drift
Into each other's hearts.

One heart beat, not two
Our kiss is the rhythm of a euphonic melody

That of which can't be sung
'cause the lyrics we cannot fathom

But I know the song very well
It's the tune that will never cease playing
In my heart
When I'm with you.

My life has one purpose,
One purpose only.
That purpose has been encoded in drugs it may seem,
Lost without a flashlight,
Lost without a sense of being.
I've been on my own for this mess.
Death is the only positive moral I geuss.

Today I saw you and though of telling you my feelings,
but i know you don't want to hear it.
even if everything i say now is truth,
wont help for you love him, and I'm in love with you.

this heartache makes me want to cry
but instead of tears, I choke up my sadness.
for I don't want them to see
that I'm crying, because I'm falling for you badly

"it's just a little crush," that's what I say
but it's making a big hole when I see you every day
for when I follow your stare, it leads to him
and sometimes, I feel like tears are going to make my vision blur

I know it's pathetic, but when you talk to me
I feel so pleased and happy
but still, I know that you're not going to love me
'cause your heart belongs to him completely

you're just a fantasy
and you'll never love me in reality
I know that someday you're just going to be a memory,
that I will remember when I'm lonely

but someday is not yet today
it still is far, far away
but I wish you'll notice anyway,
that my heart is breaking
and even though I'm smiling
just look in my eyes
and you'll see that I'm dying

I'm so torn as I sit alone in a lifeless jumble of secret thoughts,
Wanting to end this bitter pain for some relief,
even momentarily.
It won't subside,
This negative force that breaks my heart and kills my joy.
Feeling sorry with useless tears,
Are nights long gone,
The visceral truth is lain bare.

Fear is the only motivation to carry on this cowardly charade,
Isolation,
The only option not to scare the world.
Not able to grasp at the offer of life,
No longer able to play the optimist.
I will surely sink and wither away,
Perhaps that's the way to go,
Sink into the depths of despair,
Drown in the uselessness of it all.

Crystal
Crystal was once my friend
She was always there for me
Whenever I was in need
She helped me through my ups and downs
And whenever I wore a frown
I thought we would always be friends
Until one day I realized I was stuck with her forever
She tore me apart
she took everything I had
She put me on the street with nothing but a garbage bag
she turned my family away from me
when I was with her I felt free
She made me think she was all I had
I didn't realize my life was getting so bad
She promised me I was good in her hands
She took away all my hope
And now she is what I need to cope
She made me feel so loved
Then one day I couldn't find her
I then realized she was a liar
she promised me things and I believed her
All she really did was promise to ruin my life
She took my family and now I'm alone
I guess now I am on my own
She left me with nothing but an empty glass pipe
Now I live in poverty with no one in sight
I think to myself with I ever get my family back
Will I ever live a good life again
Crystal is no longer my friend
She is my worst enemy
Now that you have heard what she has done to me.
Run away form this devil
Don't let this ***** bring you down
One hit and your done
So my advice to you is run.

Baby, I guess it was never meant to be.
I miss what we used to be,
but baby, can't you see that I'm dying?
I've spent all of my lonely nights crying,
making myself believe it's not true
and end up waking in the morning without you.
My heart seems to shatter every time I hear your voice,
reminding me of what we had, and your stupid choice.
I wish I had never made that stupid decision,
the one that changed my life forever.
I wish I could still make you see
how much you meant to me.
It's too late for me to say I love you,
you've already moved on.
I was just an innocent guy looking for love,
you were just a girl looking for a sign,
to go back to what you had before,
and I was what made you realize,
that you needed him more.