1.5k · Aug 2016
My Coffee
Joellei Aug 2016

You're like my coffee..
Talking to you for five minutes then walking out the door..
Then waiting for atleast a day to hear your voice...

Is like

Waiting to drink coffee for a year
Then taking my first sip..
I've missed the buzz you give me

You'd be like my mocha latte :)
1.4k · Sep 2016
Aging Wine
Joellei Sep 2016

Just like the finest wine
Just like you
The finest things age sweeter
And become better with each day

1.0k · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

I hope this strikes a nerve in you
To tell you that yes
I have blood in me too.

Someone was shot today
Execution style on their knees
Weak and unable to live on their feet
For fighting for what they believe.

All anyone ever wanted in life was peace
If you close your eyes like Lennon said
You'd see more than you would with them open

I don't care what you are

We all bleed red.
If it's blood that is  needed to be spilled to show

Then take it from the history books.
War shouldn't be all we know.

One day I want my babies to feel safe
And have friends of every race
And love the color of their blood,
Not just the color of their skin.

I want them to love the person they love
Because their personality is colorful.

I don't want them to care about equality
Because we're all God's children
He put us all here.
Isn't that equal enough?

After everything every one is saying on the news..I think the world needs some prayers.
846 · Aug 2016
Don't forget
Joellei Aug 2016

Never forget to tell your children...that  it's okay to cry
Because it's that when words are forgotten,
They often feel like lies.

You only get one life
Unless you think there's an after
You're kept alive by your beliefs
And views you've shared may matter.

You get what you get
You can't change the time you were given
It's up to you to make that choice
Get up out of bed or stay hidden.
You've been given a script not yet written.

Talk to people you wouldn't dare to be
Who cares if you shouldn't
Atleast do it for me
Never let someone tell you
That just because it sounds fun
That it is fun
Wondering into adventure is different then walking into hell

Pick your battles
Build your worth
You live your whole life knowing you WILL DIE.
You don't get to know when.
Choose that coffee instead of water.
Drink that protein shake.
Can't sprint it?
Jog it. Walk it. Crawl it.
I don't care how
Just get there.

If you're sad or depressed...been there..
You'll wake up one day not thinking about
One day you'll wake up and feel the need to play in your storm
Don't sit in the rain
You'll drown yourself..
In the weather you make.

You're happy today? Good for you!
Just please make sure,others are too.

You get a future.
You get to breathe.
You get to choose
If you want to stay
Or the next day leave.

Stay fearful, it lets them know how much you care
Or if you care about losing something.

Remember that if one day
You forget your name
The people who truly love you
Will be surrounding you
So in life
Surround yourself with people
Who will every day remind you
Of who you are
Because they are as afraid of losing you
As you are of losing yourself.

825 · Jul 2016
Too Much
Joellei Jul 2016

She said that I loved too many things
And loving too much of anything
Takes away some of love's meaning
And I think that she's wrong.

How can you be too kind
Or too silly
Why not be incredibly happy
Or extremely weird.

What's wrong with being too
Much of anything
If you  are then  they say
You're full of it.

Full of what?
Quirks? Puns?
Smiles? Wit?
I know I'm not full of too much of anything

However I'm a little sad
About a pint of crazy
75% water
Full of my thoughts

But not enough of me.
You can never be too much of yourself.

I don't really care what anyone says anymore. I'll love to my fullest capacity and I'll be in love with everything I see. Love as many things as you can
824 · Feb 17
Do Barbie Girls Cry?
Joellei Feb 17

They didn't listen when I said I was tired
I said that being different was hard
Because my jeans  don't fit right
My actual genes weren't right

And so I came out in comparison to everything
Already didn't have a father to teach me
The skies will cry if he ever tries to reach me
Not knowing who to trust was something girls my age don't worry about

They're far too happy living oblivious
And I question myself off of this-
How do they possibly not know
That they are all the same person?

Same gloss on smooth Pink lips
Smiling a shark smile that they do like kindness
And they name the rainbow by shades of eyeshadow- as if there wasn't enough color

   Girls like that are happy with the same person for a week
And yet I cannot be happy with myself for a day
Then they switch partners because "Don't  worry he's sooo cute!"
  I wonder if they are happier naive
And how hard it will be for them when they realize how the skies are actually smokey black
And they've been looking up through perfect eyelashes- but beauty doesn't last

   It must be nice always being average
With a cover girl to cover you sitting next to you
And manicured nails to scratch your way through life

803 · Sep 2016
When you say "same"
Joellei Sep 2016

We may not be under the same roof

But we are under the same sky

And to know that one day there will be a reason for this

Helps me sleep at night.

On soft violet nights like this

When clouds blanket my skylines

It's nice to know that you too,

Are in a bed with sheets covering your sleepy head

And just like me

Are telling that  special part of your blanket that you hold


Just as I tell my pillows that I love you

And you ask me if we kissed each other at the same time

And I'll say yes

Because this one time

Neither of us missed

It bothers me that we aren't in the same room be wrapped up in the same hug *sigh*
717 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

It was the fireworks..I think.

That made my shoulders lift and fall again

And shake with laughter when you took me

By the hand and walked me underneathe a long black sky.

It was the bright colors far after sunset

That exploded on your lips and spread

Across your bright face.

I couldn't stop staring when it came down to you!

Your eyes had a blue that no firework,

no sky,no marker, no night or no anything

Else could match. It is yours..

I'd watch your eyes sparkle and burst with happiness any night of the year.

You're my fireworks display..
And I'd put your colorful smile in a glass case..
I'd keep it over my head.
That way when I lay in bed..
I'd see one last beautiful thing before I fall asleep.

I miss your smile and that late night voice of yours before I fall asleep..and I haven't been able to say it lately...but I love you.
656 · Nov 2016
Joellei Nov 2016

Red is the color of anger
That burns and boils and bubbles
It seethes and seems to soak into beauty
It is cold and fierce and fiery
And ironically
red is the color of love

635 · Aug 2016
Joellei Aug 2016

Hands above heads
Wanting to know where
Rough fingers are lead
Only one set of feet
On the way to my bed

Hands holding hips
Lips kissing lips
Lustful and lovers
White sheets and couples under covers

Candles and groaning karaoke
Names tucked into the corners of our lips
Tempting tongues all but taken them out
Baby...moaning is always allowed

Mumbles are forbidden
In the land of jumbled highs
When using your mouth is welcome
The power of speech a spell
It's the way you stare into my eyes

Let's  make LOVE instead of just wanting fun
608 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

No matter what I do
Where I am
Or With who

I see life a little
Like every where
I am looking for you

Simple as it may be
I always try to see
Your favorite things

When I see a dark tree
I don't see green
I see your favorite color

When I look at my own eyes in the mirror
I think of the sky
But mainly I think of you

I can't help it
But I may be a bit clingy
To the idea

Of you

Haha weird yes..but it said what I needed it to.
585 · Aug 2016
Football Heat
Joellei Aug 2016

Taking turns around the track
You never have to ask
Your boys always got your back
The heat is always such a drag
But my boys they never let me stop
Brothers and a sister
Hurt anyone who dissed her
Yeah her boys
They missed her
All stop to say hello as soon as they hear
Her footsteps in the hall
From there it's football heat
Boys and a girl in fall
Sometimes they push her
"Kid you'll never make the cut"
It's cool though she has quite some retort
"Yeah and all you'll see is my dust!"

You can tell she missed her brothers
Even though she's too proud to ever say
She'll always be one step ahead
Because they pushed her farther than yesterday

Goddd I missed my brothers from football season! Can't wait until it starts up! It was so great to see them today!
543 · Jul 2016
To Starve Herself
Joellei Jul 2016

Pointer finger down her throat to relieve
The ache
You'd think she'd have enough tonight
From how much she drank
Never enough calories burned off
To feel the problem shrink
To starve her insecurities is key
All she wanted was to feel free
So I handed her a rope to get out of the deep
And she hung her hatred with it
Do you think she's happy?

Gave her a gun to shoot her rage
I think she'd treat me like the trigger
Only use me when she needs me-
Then hate me when she's done.
Pointer finger on the ready I hope she's a
Good shot.

Give her pills to fight the sleep
She'd like to swallow them all whole
She doesn't wanna rest she's more like
If she tries to dream she knows what it'll be
A nightmare for the night is what in mind she'll keep.

Normally it's goodnight to the
Poets and the lovers and the clowns
But tonight there's no goodbyes
Even though she wants to drown.

But don't worry. It's only her insecurities

A knife to cut her off from the pressure of today
She doesn't wanna leave but she's far too afraid*
531 · Feb 26
To Break a Woman
Joellei Feb 26

Works like a cliff hanger
Dropping off her lips
Don't ask her where she's been
She's had a lot to miss
                                        She wanted to feel free.                       So she broke apart her wings
    She tore away the things that made her heavy
The ability to fly was a burden on her shoulders
Knowing that she could not get away

He held her back by pinching her wings
Holding her in every way but gently
She would shatter if he'd stop holding her

For once she was ready to let go
To render her pieces to fly

She left her heart behind
She said "I" more often
She became icy hot
She was slick as rain

She was
She became
She is free

520 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

9 days left..
Out of 6 days I've been waiting..
And 3 words in between..

I love you.

514 · Jun 2016
Something about you
Joellei Jun 2016

I look you deep in your upbeat dark blue eyes and I can't help but know there's something about you

And it makes me want to dive into your Marianas Trench ocean of a heart and resurface only to drown myself with your lips

I want to kiss you for so long that I can't breathe and even if that's what happens every time I swim in your thick love I will not stop

I will not stop until your hands are tangled in my hair and you're holding onto me in a way that makes me feel like I'm the life jacket holding you obove the water.

God I'd swim in oceans of you to keep my lips from drying and cracking like the ground in the Mojave Desert. Even if my mouth was still dry I'd drink from your wine lips until mine tasted like my favorite flavor; You.

When I'm cold I want to wrap your arms around me and wear you like a sweater.

I want you. And you're all there is to it now.

Can I keep you now that I have you?
494 · Aug 2016
Joellei Aug 2016

Perfectly painted clouds hanging in the sky
I couldn't match the brush strokes it took to create you on canvas
So I finger painted red on his cheeks to find the color
Shining through your open cracks
I searched to capture the perfect silver to use as eye drops
Because I'm sick of seeing life in blacks and whites
I want color
I want deep green to throw on every tree
And ducky yellow to paint a child's bedroom
Give me gold
To contrast to her perfect skin color
I want to paint a sun rise in every window pane
On every window
A cloud for every crying soul
And supply it with an umbrella
Tapestry shoes for the walk ahead.
I'd give the world a universe of color..because these days it seems it's all anyone cares about

Got to watch a beautiful sun rise this morning. Blessed..:)
489 · Oct 2016
To Spin in Circles
Joellei Oct 2016

Over and over
My feet hit the ground
Spinning in circles
The earth is what I've found
Vibrations match my heart
I must be in love with myself
For the way I see blur
It makes my soul completely melt

How nice to feel dizzy
And not worry about the weight

469 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

Everyday is poetry when there's a person as amazing as you to write it with.

Love really does make someone who they want to be

And I'd be nobody special without you.

I love you.

451 · Oct 2016
Keep it..
Joellei Oct 2016

When people split apart
They re-divide their soul.
They whisper to their new home
I'm handing you a piece of me so old
It resides in the ancients of my heart

I have given your soul a shelter
And in return I ask for love
Water it with care
For when we break apart my heart is in top condition
However I will not ask for it back

Keep my pulse as your time keeper
And it will sync with yours
For if your heart does break
Never worry
For you have mine in place

451 · Jul 2016
6. One
Joellei Jul 2016

Once in a lifetime you meet someone unlike any other person

They'll always stand out in a crowd of one million  voices and all it'll take is one chance.

One person to always make you laugh..
The same smiling face to help guide you where you want to be.

To be the person you've always wanted to be.

Once in a lifetime experience with a one in a million person...there is no one like you.

There is no laugh like yours

No other late night stretcher to make me wish I was running my hands through your hair.

You're my only smooth talking Star Wars nerd who falls alseep in bean bag chairs..

And loves to call me silly little names that are only yours to call me.

My 3 am calls to make me stretch or need to (rawr) for you

My best friend who has a king sized room in my heart, and you'll always have a place in my life.

You are my home..and one day,I can't wait to make that offocial.

YOU are my ONE and ONLY.'re my one and only,my love:))
448 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

What would your words taste like stamped  

Against my tongue?

I bet they're wonderfully sweet

I'd  probably get a cavity from your deepening voice.

Touch my lips against yours gently

Putting your mark on what is yours

Will you leave your filled promises on my skin?

Marked only by your finger prints where others could never find

In the deepest corners of my mind.

Show me where you'd like to hide burrowed

With your hands between my thigh to keep them feeling warm and fine

And trail your butterfly kisses on my tummy

Only stopping to ask

"Does it feel nice?"

Staring down deep into my light blue eyes

To mystify and make me squeal in delight.

Show me love where others have forgotten

Nibbling the tip of my nose

Hands grinding upon hands

Body's fitting perfectly together

Arms knowing exactly where to go to pull you closer

I need you in me

Not sexually at all

But you've touched me in ways

I'll never solve

435 · Aug 2016
Blank Pages.
Joellei Aug 2016

Trying to find rare people in this world's generation is like trying to find a book in a library of blank pages

Made a new friend today...there are still some pretty amazing people out there.
435 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

Before the stars could shine their light
The moon comes out without a fight
And gently the sun closes its eyes
That makes it easier for the stars to align

I thought tonight that if I dream
That if I rush to close my eyes
I'll still miss a beat.
So softly did my eye lids close..
And in my dreams your sweet face rose

432 · Jul 2016
Tell me
Joellei Jul 2016

Tell me what words where about to escape from those perfectly shaped lips of yours
Even if I know you stole the words right off my tongue and used my hands to write them down.

Tell me that you're scared
And I'll tell you I am too
I'll tell you that I'm worried of it not being me and you.

I would love to listen to your stories
And watch the sand in our hour glass glide by but only if it meant I could
Slide your hands in mine.

Tell me love have your ever felt the sunset?
Or kissed the colors from the open ended sky?
Because darling I'll tell you this
It feels like sunshine warms in your tummy
And melts into stars in your eyes.

You're my slice of something heavenly...even if you'd steal that from my lips too.
431 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

I'll realized that our love mimics the way a fire burns

The more and more we fuel it the bigger and brighter it grows

And the fire in our  starving eyes never turns to mascara rivers down my face.

I know you won't ever let our spark go out
When you have hands as warm as yours to light it

And I have lips that are eager to tame and taste it.

They say fire burns and destroys
But it also warms and brings light.

And that is the kind of love we have.

Only a week left before I can read all of this to you myself!
420 · Jun 2016
My Teddy Bear
Joellei Jun 2016

I know how my stuffed Teddy feels now that I cuddle him every night
Sometimes it sorta feels like all
His stuffing is made with delight.

He's soft and warm and new
And silly and cute
But never is he cold.

He holds me all night long
So I'll never feel too young or too old.
And sometimes when I feel lost
And the dark is closing in

He doesn't say a word but I can tell he's tuning in.

Joellei Mar 4

Lonely nights like this
And up for conversations with the stars
Had one milky way in my drink too many
And enough moons under my feet
To last many big bang theories over again

The stars seemed bored
Just..floating there next to Saturn
And I finally got the courage to ask..
For his constellation
And he said he likes my sun spots
That are resting across my axis

And told him that it must be nice
To be constantly revolving
Around someone else's  own orbit
And at this point I couldn't help but notice
He was glowing I swear
They can kind of be ass(troids) sometimes

Wow..and he could be a cometian.
Stars are funny that way

408 · Aug 2016
Painter Painting Pavements
Joellei Aug 2016

The way crushed ice sticks to my lips
       Reminds me of how your words
Rarely ever leave your
    Bubblegum tongue

       Your words are  cold and lose their flavor
Far too quickly after nimbly kissing
        Inspiration from the corners
Of your dimples

At the intersection of
           "Please don't leave me speechless!"

       "Let me show you how far blush can travel"

Your defrosting hands numbly
  Carve pathways

    Down my melting spine
Molding MY curves
   Until they fit the curvature of
Your paintbrush fingers

You scripture perfect kisses
  In fountain pen over my closed eyes
I swear to you I see the words you create for me
  You're making monuments in my                                 ribcage
The way you smooth rough edges of me
In every bent corner of anatomy

I didn't know art until you made it out of me

406 · Aug 2016
Growing apart is like..
Joellei Aug 2016

The flowers needing to reach for sunlight..
Stretching in every direction and bunches of blooms that were once close together spread their petals at its own pace.
Some stay at the bottom and others blossom at the top.

It's natural to grow apart, because in order to grow you need space to stretch and change.

It's no one's fault..sometimes we need things we didn't need before.
So that's what we reach for.

391 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

We have this streak and I can't seem to put my phone down knowing you're on the screen on the other side.

Our video chats and phone calls and hundreds of  texts almost make up for the hundreds of miles in between.

They tell me I'll get hurt not being able to hold you,but this way atleast I know I can't hold you back.

You're my everything,and distance means nothing when I can feel every word you could have whispered in my ear in person.

We have an internet thing..
And our online love has gone viral.

Don't tell me something won't work because of distance, someone once said trees couldn't be made to start a fire.
That's only true if there's no spark.
380 · Sep 2016
Joellei Sep 2016

Dark rings around her eyes
Are at all unlike a tree
They do not define what age you are
But instead shows them how she does not sleep

Heavy feet rooted deep into the ground
Unmoving but with shaking limbs
That often try hard to not
Be blown over by light touching wind

She leaves me so bewildered
How she stands so tall
While they use her like firewood
Taking all they can from her

And burning her dreams for warmth
Smoke signals ripple in the sky
She should ask for help she knows it
But not understanding why

Why must she give off her light after giving
Her last breaths away.

Sorry guys..I've been punished..and kinda depressed lately..see you all Saturday.
379 · Jul 2016
Sleep Talker
Joellei Jul 2016

Sleep talker in your sheets
Tell me however many nights in a week
-Or don't-
Because you'll tell me tonight in your dreams.

Day walker on the streets
Show me what you really mean
-you will-
Just like you did this morning making sure I got my sleep.

Sleepy head laying in my bed
I know why you are always tired
You stayed up on the phone with him
Listening to him snore and whisper how he feels about you.

Wide awake the words you dread
Are repeated loudly in your head
As he tells you this morning he dreamt about you last night
And you say how sweet
Knowing that last night he meekly
Told you in his dreams

That he loved you..and he said your name.
And it melted your heart
Because he was smart
To not know he's a sleep talker
And he talks about you in his dreams.

370 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

We're all idiot fish in a barrel
Jumping into the air to watch the bullets
Whiz by our fins and hoping the
Strike doesn't hit but misses

And kisses the outskirt of our barrel.

The water is draining fast
And we struggle in all the odds
Against each other and try to get to the
Bottom where there's more water

But we're all gonna die anyways.

So we push each type of fish at each other and smother the others in blood
Of their brothers and don't do anything
Until one of the fish jumps out of our home

And right at the man cleaning the barrel of the gun.

Was it fun watching us unfairly die
While you are doing nothing
With our dying folk
But watching us perish.

You're a real jittery man I bet.

But as bullets fly by the fish we
Demand to run arrogant politicians to
Calm our gills and ask into our feels

But it doesn't matter anyway.

We're all idiot fish in the barrel fighting each other while someone pops holes
In our walls and allows the oxygen in.

We'll all die anyways.

The world is too fucked up.
370 · Feb 7
I Stopped to think
Joellei Feb 7

I sometimes stop to think how long
Long really is
And if it stretches out as far as we think it does
Or possibly longer

And so I stop to think how much
A lot could be
If you really mean it
Or if it's just me

So it leads me to think
What is love?
And if I'd simply just been liked a lot
All of my life
And how will I know when it's  really love

I stopped to think today if you loved me as much as you say you do and if you'll really love me forever

368 · Nov 2016
Move on.
Joellei Nov 2016

I've lost a lot of people and my soul won't heal from that...but my body will. And as long as it is able I will keep running,and if I can't run then I will walk. If I can no longer walk then I will crawl. When crawling is useless then I will pray. However it is I will find a way to keep on moving.

367 · Mar 3
Art's first Gala
Joellei Mar 3

Her art was very appealing
It was different
And within an instant
Captured fleeting thoughts
And caged them on paper

Words became her slave
Waiting on her hand and foot
Linked chains through her lips
And held them back by
Their first consonant

Arts began being imprisoned
For the thoughts they held
For whatever they meant to someone
Arts began looking..
Rather sickly

Eyes were no longer opened
People did not want to see
So they were blind folded
And other lips opened
Unzipped the consciousness
And kept the Persian cats in the bag

While art was used to scrubs and rags
And..became accustomed to
Usually being dragged
She was her own prisoner
And kept herself
In the glass case
In her first Villa

Uhm...I'm not really sure what this is.
Joellei Sep 2016

I would never throw the towel in
I would be using it to wipe my face from the sweat

Joellei Feb 22

You told me about the drug that made you feel calm
That weed was the center and the smoke signals you puffed my way were not my signals
No I did not want the carvings you offered to me in your own arm
I would have held your hand if not for alcohol stained kisses on your fingers

People like you were a ballon filled positivity and until the needle hit you stayed that way
You've never heard of helium for fuel
But somehow along the line your voice changed anyways
I didn't see the age rings inside of you
New layers of wood covered those

324 · Jul 2016
Worth It
Joellei Jul 2016

You and I talk about beauty like we see and know what it looks like.
Though we never say why or how we think it’s beautiful.
Tell me. Scream it.
Use the air from your lungs and tell me how ugly you are.
Use that air and taint it with everything beautiful about hurting someone.
About executing the pride that comes in their own humanity?
Tell me is it fun?-
destroying their belief that the world is lovely and showing them how hateful it really can be.
It’s so rare to find someone who finds beauty in the downfall of someone else’s understandings.
  You see..we’re part of this tight clique and whenever she feels the need to be unshakable
I build walls up around her because she may be hard-headed but I am hard-hearted.
She’d pull me on a string but I’d always be on her side-or standing behind her-
ready to take on however many knives are thrown at her back.
  You didn’t ever think you weren’t beautiful and why should you start now?
You never second guessed your weight-
until suddenly their words are so heavy you can’t hold yourself up on your own anymore.
  I’m so proud of how huge you keep your values even as they keep being belittled, how they never shrink your bravery or your courage.
I loved how you refused to see it until they saw through your shield, right at whatever you saw was in your heart and worthy at protecting.
Please just tell me what it is that cuts you up so deep you’re left with so many scars that I can never see...
You have to know that not knowing how to heal them is killing me!
  You hide your pain away and distract me from the sadness in your eyes; you know you can’t hide that from me,not ever and definitely not forever.
I saw how they took the smiles from your days, like the sun from the blue skies
and rain can’t go unnoticed!
  The scary thing about having glasses now is that there is no more hesitation in what I see when I doubt it that you’re sad, there’s a certain sharpness in your tears that weren’t there before.
They contradict the fairness of how great the world was-
ah it was so pretty until you see that time doesn’t always heal.
It is less than amnesia that only makes you forget...but you can’t forget the marks on your skin as you can see them daily.
  Time wears thin and stretches ‘till one day you hear something snap inside of you.
Where does it end? When you can’t take it anymore and you long to not feel their words bounce off of you anymore-
for their shots to sink in and you think you deserve it..
You’d willingly take their blows...
But I’d willingly take all of yours for you.
  I heard you whisper once that I was a bully.  
I heard your plea..I know you were really yelling for me to rescue you and my mission was to get you out alive.
I’m not perfect. But I’d sure try my best to forgive my flaws for you to look at all of yours
I’m not a teeny little thing like you..I have curves that wind and sometimes I get lost in them trying to find myself.
But I know better..I cannot be lost because I know where you are..on my compass helping me to when I come to remain at your side.
My thoughts used to vary from, ”If I spilled my secrets with my lunch then maybe my heart will be lighter..”
“If I painted my face with shades as pink and vulnerable as yours then maybe I’d be as porcelain and fragile as a doll.”
  No. No more. I can’t sit back anymore and watch you break into pieces like fine china when I’m still putting myself back together from the last time I fell.
Life is a puzzle-it is in pieces-we are made to find the pieces that fit into our souls-
You are a piece of my soul,you are part of my puzzle!
You are my missing piece and without you I wouldn’t be whole.
  I only know what feeling whole is like because you have showed me and I will never let you
go even a day without feeling my love-all the lengths of it.
I can only hope I can make you see that you no longer have to question the heights of your limits and the widths of your personality-because they can go no further than where you let them.
These are the only things you should want to measure-
but toss away your rulers and tape measures because I will never give you a capacity.
  You are not a shape like a square where nothing is outside the box or
a circle when everyone outside is an outsider and you worry about making the cut just to fit in.
You fit in anywhere you are-so never worry about where you think you belong,you
belong wherever you think you do,and I will make sure that is where you are.
  You are a shape that defines where your edges meet and how deep anyone has to go to see you-
not the painted figure with eyelashes too dark and lips too red-
but you.
The silly girl with sideways smiles and bright eyes.  
  If you are a sea of jokes then I’d drown in any “Knock-knock” until I come to rest at your door.
Don’t give me that whole, “I don’t deserve it.”
I don’t care if you think you do or not
But you, are worth it.
  Worth all the nervous  “How do I look?” ‘s you give me
Worth the play fights and being thrown off the bed at 1:00 A.M.’s
Worth all the “I’m ugly” ‘s you throw my way.
I’ve never seen anyone any more beautifully broken.
If I have to stay awake forever putting you back together,
then there’s never been anyone more worth it than you.

I wrote this earlier this year for a friend being bullied..
No one should ever feel the way she felt. Pass on the love!
310 · Mar 13
Notes to Myself
Joellei Mar 13

The truth is that
I don't get enough sleep
And I don't want to wake up

302 · Aug 2016
Is it just me?..
Joellei Aug 2016

I don't want to wake up to look at these scars
It feels like now that I've lost the stars
I once carried in my pockets

Once I took out the anger I hid in my skin
Suddenly it felt like even my thoughts
Were sin

What once were scarier things
Now feels like a costume on Halloween

I can't rely on my pillow to lay my head on anymore
The star dust is gone and took my dreams

Funny how silverware
Can make life a nightmare to be around around.

Sharp things
Witty things
Funny things?..
Used to be lively things
Until the sharpness cut out
My witty puns
And left me dead...
Bled out of things I wanted best..

298 · Jul 2016
Other people
Joellei Jul 2016

I spent years relying on someone else
Months asking them for help
Wasting my days for them to bend at my side
The hours I've cried for being hurt by their guide
Minutes it took to make me realize

That in the seconds you get to live daily,the only person who won't let you down is yourself.

I decided that I love myself. Not to be conceded or anything,but I do love myself. And it took far too long to realize that.
297 · Oct 2016
Joellei Oct 2016

I will be going places you'll never be
And still,I will look for pieces of you there.
Hoping to find you in something you'll
Never be.
And in something you will not want.
I will be myself
But you will never see it
You can see my silly smiles and bright eyes
And I will let you watch me walk
Until my half-turn is sad with goodbyes.
I will miss you where you're not

271 · Sep 2016
Joellei Sep 2016

I have never been so distant from you
And even if we're hundreds of miles away..
I've never felt it before now.

I want what's best for you...
271 · Jul 2016
Your brightness
Joellei Jul 2016

I'll fall asleep tonight
Knowing that today I looked at you
And was blinded by your brightness
But I wouldn't dare look away

If I would've looked away
I would have lost my light

257 · Aug 2016
Joellei Aug 2016

When you're in love with yourself
You'll be the first person to never ever
Break your heart

254 · Jul 2016
Joellei Jul 2016

I woke up early this morning,and looked down at your perfectly sleepy face.

We both share the right side of the bed and I fell asleep giving you little kisses on your face,over your sleepy eyes,your nose,your forehead, your blushing cheeks, your chest,and then your lips.

I save that for last,those are always my favorite.

I hugged your chest and though you were sleeping I felt your arms tighten a little around me and pull me into you.

I felt safe right here..your arms feel like home and I want to lock our doors before bed every night (with a kiss to your full lips of course)

It was such a beautiful night,and so I traced your jawline with my fingertip and touched my thumb to your bottom lip before you met it with a soft kiss.

I hadn't realized your soft blue eyes were watching my face while I was studying yours.

So I gave you my smile as I did everyday, and cuddled back with you.

It wasn't long before I heard our breathing sync,and I knew..this was more then a dream..I've been dreaming of it so long it must have come true.

Opening my eyes a little,I saw you..sleeping soundly like my baby, mouth open just a bit with both hands resting on my back and our legs intertwined.

I knew I wanted this everynight.

My dream last night..:)
Joellei Oct 2016

Thinking gets me into trouble
When all I think is you
Sometimes maybe I forget
Others think about you too.

You're an amazing guy
No wonder you're in her head
As long as you are mine...
Please just don't seek out her bed.

I know you said you were through
And believe me I've put my trust in you
Maybe she isn't now that she got what she wanted..
And what I got..was you.

Honey trust me,
I love you.
I have since we've met
You're the one that I want

But anyone else with you makes me sick
And my stomach spills over with jealousy and love
Can they live in the same place?
So of course I forgive you

I do because I love you
If there's anyone I can think of
To take your place in my life
It's me

Joellei Jul 2016

You're all I can think about
I keep rereading all of our texts
From the very beginning when we first said hello

And all I can remember is saying "Oh god no.."
I'm falling for him so smoothly and this time none of it hurts.

I woke up this morning looked at my phone and what did I see as my lock screen? You.

Then I sat up and thought about my dream last night...what was it again?..
Oh yeah!..the one where you...

Then I smiled for the umpteenth time this morning and then smiled again when I turned on my radio to hear your favorite band playing.

I couldn't stop smiling. And eventually my face hurt,then it stopped when I remembered you telling me that "Kisses can make it all better."

And so my face got all sunset pink when I thought about you kissing me..and then all I could think about was you
You. You. You. You. You..

You got me wrapped around your finger.

God I miss your voice.
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