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Jul 4 · 106
Piece of Glass
We walk together hand in hand
Love with love
Strolling past a world of illusions
As we gaze into each other's eye, we forgot our surroundings
All it took was a light tap
A fleeting second for the vase to fall
I turn my body to watch as the shimmering blue vase turned into a grenade
The shards flitted past us to the corners of the world leaving us in disarray
With hurried steps, we moved to reassemble the ****** thing
A flurry of tears, the abuse of superglue, and the sadness of loss flooded our being
We looked at our creation, a hollow caricature of its predecessor
Light shone through the cracks throughout the vase and at the top was a single missing shard
A shattered vase formed together from fragments is always missing that final shard
I reach out to grab her hand and as I step forward; I feel a shard sensation into my foot
I grimace in pain and raise my foot to look
Amidst the crimson blood dripping down my foot was a slim and thin piece of glass mocking my attempt
Once trust is broken, a piece of glass waits to harm those who still remain.
May 23 · 202
hi
May 23 · 70
Proverbs
Plant melons and you will harvest melons; plant beans and you will harvest beans
May 23 · 82
When suicide grips
lets admit it
im not any good
the raw and emotional
where im trapped right now
its a cage
and that cage hurts
i threw away all my hurt
maybe im mess
maybe im dead
i think i wannA be dead
why am i not dead
i should be dead like i deserve
this is just who i am
i should be dead
DEAD DEAD DEAD
May 23 · 86
Confusion
As I glide through the clouds
A cold wind blows
I am riding the sea of life alone
A million violent strikes on my temperament
I desperately rack my brains
To cast myself as something
Turning away from the ground
And
Looking to the clouds for an answer
Yet heaven never speaks
I am left with confusion
May 22 · 361
Not a tear to be shed
A glance into the mirror that led me astray
The phantoms of my mind whirring
and with no delay, the tears drip
The tight grip around my chest
A writhing conniving visage stares back
and with no thought to others, I let the tears drip
All it took was a glance and here I am someone else
The Phantoms have stopped whirring
and with no one left, not a tear can be shed.
May 11 · 110
Achieving Myself
I want to die with a smile knowing I've lived true to myself. My scars and pains that remain made me empty to something else.

I am better than I was and more aware of my capacities but I am gripped with uncertainty. What am I to do that I won't regret? What am I to feel that I won't forget. A meaningful experience is all I ever wanted and yet I despise to say yes because that means surrender.

Accepting that I am too weak to be on my own, so I lounge in my loneliness. I am a coward afraid to accept help and so I despise what I can't have and yearn so desperately.

Am I to teach others to be better and lie about my success or am I to feel as I feel and be as I am? Achievement of something substantial and memorable not to the world or the universe but to myself, I am to gripped with the uncertainty of living the delirium that is each day to simply be.

So I will push and push and hum a familiar tune of loneliness in the hopes that one day I will achieve the greatest achievement of myself.
Apr 9 · 61
The Demon Within
Standing in front of me is a child of no more than 6, he smiles a beaming hopeful smile.

From his very being radiates naivety he meets my gaze unafraid of me. I meet his gaze with coldness, my heart empty and only the remnants of cold utilitarian logic take its place.

What a joke it is, I look past the smile and notice his eyes. Eerie dark pools that radiate indifference, that was the truth. There seemed to be some resonance between us, a quality assured between us.

We are both intensely indifferent to the world. But time was our separation, I had come to accept myself. But he was still living a facade, for how much longer I could only wonder.

A chronology of events I had thought faded passes by like an arrow. From the remnants I piece together the theme, I was not who I expected.

I am not quite the victim of circumstances that I thought I was. Some people from a tough life gather sensitivity becoming emotional messes.

That was a thought of mine in the past, but it was no more than a scheme. I was not a victim, instead, I was a predator. Manipulating and lying my way out of things remorselessly.

I was so good in fact that I even tricked myself, yet with the unraveling I realize I am every bit the monster I was made out to be  and so much more.
Apr 9 · 87
ambition
If a man did not have aspirations as grand as heaven
A man’s worth is no greater than the worth of his ambitions.
Great ambition is the passion of a great character.
Apr 9 · 73
A tear cannot be shed
The blip on my phone
The runny little dots of your typing
Then the sudden disappearance
and Reappearance of your name
"Lucy"
The excitement I feel
The happiness of seeing your name
Then I open the message
My heart drops
"I'm sorry, we can't talk anymore."
I feel sad then mad then nothing
I send a message asking why
You never received it, did you?
I cried...What is wrong with me? Why am I so unlovable? Why am I always so alone? Why am I always so alone?
Why am I always so alone?
I'm so lonely it's killing me.
I would cry a river if that would make you happy.
I could die right now from a broken heart.
Why is it since then I could not shed a tear?
Even now water fills my eyes but it slips back just as easily
Like usual I don't care anymore
Apr 9 · 90
Mind Salad
What is fantasy?
False fantasy confession
Understanding by analogy
The fantasy of me
Counter brainwaves
With thought guns
Deceive me
I am a self agenda
Schools are found
In the background
School mask
Real me
Real mask
School me
Fat
Sad
and
Bad
Submissive
Fantasy
Villain
Happy he should be
Look down
Straight Shot
Straight up
It's up
Fantasy is theater
Acting like a character
How many writers in a snare.
One by one making a dare
School of thought thought up
Subscribers indentured to strange
What a hollow soto
A thin man's polo
Stripped with dread
Woe on theater
Theater is the past
Back in history
****** get hit by disarray
This is a history made this way
Only character hits from these paypools
Not so obvious doc!
Try to be less conscious!
Tu lewai to LA FENESTRA
I'm playing the tropes
That I loathe and despire
Even I hide my own words
Get a thought recorder
Shipping and packaging is free for the day.
250 of the most popular
Words arranged in draft sentances
I am a fantasy! U play in.
Don't worry
I am an expert attorney
Trained in exquisite self fantasy
Proffessor of Future Fantasies
Or maybe Garfield the nat
"Sneekky rouououttttt. I know the truuttthh.
It's a parks and rec
Adventure sketch
I am declining
I've lost my health
This issssnnn'tttt FAIR
Director "CUT!"
IT COMES FROM THE HUMAN MIND
HAAUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can you
Teach
Them
That
CAT
IN
THE
HAT
???
??!
?!?
!??
!!?
!!!
@
#
$
Fantasy
Divorced
From mys
elf
Argumentative
Prentinsuous
And
parsimonious
Who buys it?
Mar 7 · 84
Heavenly Secrets
What lies in the vault of heaven?
In the skies are heavenly secrets!
What lies on the earth?
A path for one to travel
What lies in a man?
A will to live by.
Then what is a man,
who lies on the earth
and gazes at the sky?
A man who lives by his will
traveling along a path
to heavenly secrets
Mar 7 · 114
Moon
Moon reflected on the second spring.

The ripples on a pond, leave no trace.

As all things do, from time's embrace.

My moon alone shall shine on this day
Listen to moon reflect on the second spring, it is absolutely fantastic
In the dark of night, I awaken

Atop a mountain peak, cold and barren

That old tree is there to greet me

But I remain silent as I feel my flesh

My blood seethes with excitement

Looking from the mountain peak

At a world that has forgotten me

Demonic obsessions

That grip the soul

Thoughts of revenge

Filling one's heart

I will not be forgotten.
Mar 7 · 209
Light and Dark
The light of the past brings all matters to bare

The darkness of the future leaves but an uncertain taste

The turmoil of the present is where light and dark meet in fate

and fate is the determinator of all of man's things

Light and Dark are Illuminator and Concealer of fate
Mar 7 · 82
Questioning Yourself
If you're asking who you are, then you are falling.
It's not that you are doing the wrong thing, but that you aren't in a good place.
If you need to ask that question, then your sense of self is eroding. Who you are should be a state of being, not a set of facts to ponder.
If you are in line with yourself, then you will feel it and be it in its entirety.
Suddenly every stress fades away, and you become satisfied with yourself.
It's good to question yourself, but it's not an indicator of health but sickness.
To truly be happy you have to be happy.
Dec 2018 · 98
Past
Looking at the past
I can't help but be somber
All those emotions still churn
I'm tired of it
Hatred is taxing
Love is cumbersome
I sick of weight
The cycle
It never ends
I am weary of it
My body and my mind
Cut away at my spirit
Looking at the past
I want no longer
Dec 2018 · 210
Not my father
I don't know how to forgive you
You watched over me as I grew
You comforted in my sickness
You cared for me in my health
But you were always a variable
I feared that love would turn
Into a knuckle buried in my nose
The cold concrete as my comfort
So I could never figure out
How to truly forgive you
So when we fought
I hurt you as you hurt me
You lied to everyone about me
He's crazy
He's a druggie
He's trash I adopted
Now you come barring gift cards
Saying we must forgive one another
But I cannot forgive
Because there is no bond
There is no commonality between us
All I can do is call you my father
But never my dad
Dec 2018 · 126
As my own
To each his own life
To each his own fate
Collisions of islands
We meet and greet
The world shakes
We are apart again
To the horizon, I go
My eventual destruction
But I lived my own life
I controlled my own fate
I stand bereft of nothing
I judge no one else
For your path
Is as valid
and the same
as my own.
Nov 2018 · 167
Flaws in many of us
Fantasy intrusions on real life
Thought poverty of Otherself
Gut followed procedure
Shellfish thinking in neither
Self-centered in the dead center
Black and white
Attribution
Failure
Resources dwidled away
A mind lead in disarray
Is this
All that’s left
A scholar’s head
A failing
A paling
A beguilling!
Imitation of real life?
Oct 2018 · 248
Sight
So you like me
I can't imagine why
Do you really want to know me?

Take this as a word of warning
You don't want to see what's in my heart

I'm a cold person
I'm a cruel person
I'm a proud person

A sight into my internal life
Is a nightmare to most

So if you like me
Which I can't imagine why?
Tread lightly
Sep 2018 · 128
Mistake
Listen up woman
I despise your kind
I invest in your words
What a childish mistake
I've dealt with many of you
I am not going to crumble over you
I will not become less because of you
I heard your words
You've done well
Making me unhappy
So let's end it here now
You were just another mistake
Sep 2018 · 134
Back again
A stand at the precipice of the sun
Unable to balance my sides
On one side is malevolence
On the other side is passion
The meeting point is me
The balance still fulfilled
I have been pushed hard
Shoved into malevolence
So thank you, I'm back again
You wanted this so here I am
Back to my old ways
Sep 2018 · 98
Perseverance
I had cried out, I gradually did not make a sound
I had sobbed, I no longer burst into tears
I had been sad, I gradually can withstand all
I had been joyful, but gradually I looked down on the world
But now!
I stand left of no emotions
My vision is as hard as a rock
In my heart remaining perseverance
This is my unimportant person's perseverance
Sep 2018 · 111
I am
I will never break
I will never bend
This is who I am
The rest is extra

I will never stress
I will never worry
That's what I'll do
The rest is details

I will never weaken
I will never suffer
They are just words
The rest is a joke

I am unbreakable
I am unstoppable
I am unassailable

I am invincible
I am almighty
I am the king
This is the entirety of who I am. I would live my life over again and make the same mistakes with a smile. I would fail the same tests, I would trust the wrong people. Just to prove to myself I will never break. Whether I am alone or with 100 people, I will never break.
Sep 2018 · 138
Contempt
I hold life and death in contempt
I can't help but despise it
I have lived long enough
To see through life
To see through death
I hold the world in contempt
What do I have to lose?
What do I have to fear?
Wealth, Beauty, Status
None can entice me
All that is left
Is me.
Sep 2018 · 156
Self
Some demons are born from malice
Sky rending hatred and blood storms
Such are demons of unending passion
Some demons are born from greed
Covetous grins and shifty hands
Such are demons of delirious nature
Some demons are born of desire
Coquette gazes and glazed eyes
Such are demons of temptation
Some demons are born from hunger
Thirsty tongues and soft palates
Such are demons of gluttony
Some demons are born from envy
Green eyes and clenched teeth
Such are demons of bitterness
Some demons are born of laziness
Slow movement and emotionless
Such are demons of apathy
Some demons are both of the self
Arrogant demeanor and fearless gaze
Such are demons of pride
All are demons, that come from oneself
But the true evil of sin
Is the self.
Sep 2018 · 517
Mortal Dust
A single figure cutting a lonesome shadow into the red sand
A sea of red glittering with mineral strength
The wind gathers dust as it traverses the land
Each granule of sand engraved with a word
Love, Hate, Right, Wrong, True, and False
A figure is a young man but a wave of lovely red sand wears at him
Suddenly his features are wizened and his hair fades
The wind blows again and assimilates time
The figure grows more emancipated
Yet his eyes remain, eerie dark pools filled with vicissitudes.
"I come from mortal dust, red sand glitters on me." He mutters
Mortal affairs plague, yet they define.
I grow wiser from the wind of assimilation
I comprehend nature but I lose myself
"I come from mortal dust, and here I stand."
"Awaiting death to reclaim me."
"What will be left of me is mortal dust."
His eyes shined as he grew increasingly older
"I hereby cast aside the mortal world." He whispered as his body faded
"I pursue a grander vision!" His body faded away disappearing into the red sand
Sep 2018 · 195
Sentiment
Man is not grass nor tree
Who among can be heartless
The **** with a heart of gold
The monster with a soft touch
The beast with his beauty
Sentiment is like a ****
It can never be rooted out
Staved off maybe
Eliminated for a time
But in the edge of the garden
It grows once again
Sep 2018 · 107
Sneer
"Don't shut me out"
"Don't let me go"
"Don't leave me alone"
"Don't hurt me"
I beg of you
The roaring cries didn't end
Gripping around a firm foot
Begging for a kind touch
It is but a mirage of a past forgotten
I look on, older and wiser
How weak I once was
A sneer suffuses my face
Never shall I fall to weakness again
Aug 2018 · 213
Say it
Atop a mountain
I wait for the cleansing wind
A breeze carrying calamity passes
I feel chilliness deep in my bones
Only up here can I say it
Where no one can hear me
Where no one can judge me
"I don't want to live anymore!"
"I hate it down there!"
"I have nowhere I belong but..."
The top of this mountain
Aug 2018 · 135
Laurels
A place to lay my laurels
Limping my way
Gashes on my feet
I rest my head for a but a moment
The silence filled with bitterness
It's a life I chose
It's the life I live
Regretfulness
Sentimentality
Melancholy
Such complexity was my choice
By living a life filled with turmoil
This is who I've become
Aug 2018 · 350
Silence
No one is impenetrable
To act as such is foolish
Best to acquaint yourself with silence
Learn to sit with your weakness
Stew in it and even appreciate it
By acknowledging the waves
You can survive the tidal wave
Maybe even learn to surf
Aug 2018 · 153
Again
"If only I had a second chance"
"I would do everything right
You could do everything right
And yet you would still lose
This is nothing more than regret
As long as you live by your heart
What can you ever regret?
Regret is turmoil over failing yourself
Don't ask for second chances
Don't regret your mistakes
Just live by your heart
And start all over again
Aug 2018 · 160
Object permanence
Object permanence is a mistaken belief
For all intensive purposes
Unless something is relevant to me
It might as well not exist
The object is irrelevant
That does not mean become ignorant
Rather differentiate between relevant and irrelevant
The opinions of strangers are irrelevant
The opinion of a teacher is relevant
This is not a clear division
What is irrelevant can become relevant
So be observant and conserve your energy
By not investing in irrelevant things
Always remember relevance is dependant on your purpose. An object exists only if it relates to your purpose.
Aug 2018 · 134
God
God
I don't believe in God, but if there is a God
I would be that God, why do you ask?
Because I said so, I am the master of my world
That is precisely it, this is my world
To as I please with, and so
I fear no one, nothing, and no god
What I fear is becoming bored with this world
Narcissistic one might say
But that only counts if I cared
Aug 2018 · 132
Simple
People are so simplistic
Acting without thought
Never questioning
Time passes without a care
I believe you are dreaming
Until the realization hits you
Death is coming
You are insignificant
It's over
But who wants that?
So let's keep it simple
I don't want to think about that!
Pass the bottle.
Aug 2018 · 118
Privacy
Hidden thoughts on the canvas of another's mind.
Private deeds kept to oneself in the newspaper.
Hidden desires showing up in your finest writing.
Nothing can be hidden here
Be careful what you
Think
Do
Feel
Because it will eventually be known
Aug 2018 · 147
Goal
Nothing is without a goal
Behind every action is a purpose
Will is comprised of
Thought
Emotion
Intent
There is no vacuum without purpose
It is ingrained in the fibers of reality
But to see it you need the will
Thought
Emotion
Intent
Behind every action is a purpose
Nothing is without a goal
Aug 2018 · 128
Eternal Benefits
Hatred as deep as a sea, enrapturing rage against the world
Goodwill for all beings, kindness without boundaries
Such are transient thoughts of those without a will
Surrendering to simplicity is a weak man's imperative
Hatred and goodwill are interchangeable
Dependant on one eternal factor
Benefits! No eternal enemies, but eternal benefits.
Same with allies, no eternal allies but eternal benefits
Aug 2018 · 122
Unfettered
I was naive at one point
Hurt so badly by a betrayal that
My comforting music sounded sinister
My food tasted rotten and bland
My acquaintances looked demonic
Blonde long hair reminded me of you
I felt disgusted looking at anyone like you
Any man like him brought me rage
Lucky for me time fixes all wounds
As painful as your betrayal was
The bitter loneliness reawakened me
Wisdom beyond my years
Visions of greater things
My unfettered true self
So I thank you for your betrayal
Because you were my enlightenment
Next, I see you shall be with a smile
For my great benefactor
I don't get personal often, but I thought to show my past for this
Aug 2018 · 324
Learning
To be taught is admirable
An open mind is a virtue
One who learns is of great character
But learning is not just listening
It is interaction, theorization, and application
To do otherwise is to act a fool
Ready to be brainwashed
Listen to the sages
Play with the thoughts
Apply them in reality
Learning is the first step
Aug 2018 · 139
Winning
How wonderful it is.
To see one's results
A deeply laid plan
Come to fruition
That is satisfaction
To overcome adversity
To gain unending audacity
That is my purpose
I question, is it the pleasure of *******.
The sheer ecstacy of winning
That final laugh is intoxicating
Jul 2018 · 101
Time
Situated in the vault of heaven is various secrets
Glittering lights from an immemorial era
Across the sky is a river of time
Flowing from past, present, to the future
When viewed closely by the finest instruments
Vortexes and whirlpools riddle this river
Such an interesting phenomenon
We trace the paths
We grasp at straws
We hope for answers
But in our search we find nothingness
A concept beyond our understanding
What does it mean to be no-thing?
No thing waits at the end
Yet I can't help but be enamored
Glittering heaven, what do you hold?
The vortexes are insignificant
I zoom out once again
Looking at the immense river
Time shall always pass
Jul 2018 · 262
Alone
I've always been alone
I have been lonely
But that isn't the fullness of my aloneness
Without family
Without friends
Without love
I would have sacrificed everything for those things
My heart was devoted to having those things.
But loneliness is just a small part of being alone
A part that I have long since discarded
I have since had those things
But I treasure being alone over those things
Precisely because those are things
Objects, people, and concepts are all the same
They are just things
Not eternal, lasting, or truly meaningful
But my aloneness is forever
Has, is, and will always be
Jul 2018 · 316
Villain
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain"
The hero is naive and sees the immediate scenes in front him
He sees the old lady crossing the street
The villain has seen too many old ladies
He realizes the bigger issue of time
The hero sees the person, the villain sees the concept
The longer you live the closer to essence you become
Once you have seen too much, you can't help but destroy
Not out of hate, but out of confirmation of your vision
The difference between a hero and a villain
Is the scale of vision.
Jul 2018 · 150
Order
The acceptance of death
Is a valuable skill
But all things in moderation
Coveting life and fearing death
Is as childish as courting death
Risking death for success is admirable
But the best layman knows to layoff
For things in nature take their course
Before one acts to change the order
Jul 2018 · 110
Perfection
I don't fear failure
I don't fear death
I don't fear unhappiness
I fear success
I fear life
I fear happiness
Failure is my strength
I grow stronger from failures
Success weakens me
Failure is the root of perfection
Jul 2018 · 285
Certainty
Anything done can be undone
Anything unknown can be known
Anything reliable can be unreliable
To live in certainty
Is the greatest shame
Transformations of heaven and earth
Are multifarious and unending
Only the adaptable survive
One must be uncertain
Jul 2018 · 122
Patience
Many a thing requires patience
But patience is not just waiting
It is far more than anxious pacing
Patience is a process
A broad view of things
It is the essence of wisdom
Because all good things end
As do all bad things
A patient man waits for the opportune moment
Knowing it shall always come
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