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Jan 15 · 20
Dying Quiet
Glory Jan 15
In skies of chaos and chaos and chaos,
I search for slices of silence
              But silver means nothing to the sea
I must slay my dragons in the smoke of volcanoes
Sing my songs with more sound than soul,
I must learn to kiss through the drum solo,
To stop separating the ticks from the tocks,
To whisper poetry under storms, not stars

I must learn to sleep as we do now,
With clocks and cars and chaos
Nov 2019 · 313
Believe Me
Glory Nov 2019
I'm sorry if I lied to you.
I convinced even myself I loved you.
Invisible masks trick even the masked.
Oct 2019 · 449
I slept on
Glory Oct 2019
A silent sunrise
Your last wheezy breaths were swirling, howling winds ensnared in an invisible beer bottle
Undisturbed, I slept on
When I woke, you were gone
Glory Oct 2019
To the boy who is not confident, just breathe. I promise to value your opinions and tell you mine. I promise to show you the real woman behind the eyes, even if I know you will not like her. I vow to hold your heart gently, even if it is just for a short while. Your body and soul are one person and I will never separate my affections for either.
Oct 2019 · 148
To The Boy Who Assumes
Glory Oct 2019
To the boy who assumes. Stop. I am no girl, I am a woman. I will choose family over romance, every time. Yes, I wear the same shoes every day and no, I don't intend to buy more. I love flowers but only if I pick them myself. I am not similar to anyone you have met before. Stop assuming that you know me, even a little.
Glory Oct 2019
To the boy who held me as I cried, my tears were not promises. With every tear that I let fall, I am new. You may find comfort in comforting a gentle, soft doe but know that I learn from my wounds and I heal from my choices. The doe will break all it is, so that it may become the lion.
Glory Oct 2019
To the boy who said that I am his sun, you are wrong. I am not the sun or the stars but the eclipse of a moon, the dying of a star. I am but a moment in time and that moment will never be yours. You can not contain me. Just know me and learn me. My shine may sting your eyes but boy, it will light a fire in you.
Oct 2019 · 165
To Write
Glory Oct 2019
Because like every young poet; I must destroy every good part of me to have anything to write about.
And falling in love is the beginning of that.
Oct 2019 · 88
Explanation
Glory Oct 2019
I'm not upset because I love you and still want you.
I'm upset because I got to hold you and kiss you and care about you.
I didn't know that I could be warmed by someone else's arms.
Every time I felt your skin on mine I felt more alive and human than ever before.
I'm upset because now that you are gone,
I don't anymore.
Oct 2019 · 142
Head Up, Eyes Open
Glory Oct 2019
It feels like I've spent years just walking. Crunching through pine-needle stacks and padding on lino tiles. I've spent time memorising the scuffed scars on my shoes and the cracks in the sidewalk. I've trekked hours and minutes with eyes down and planned routes.
It feels like when I finally looked up, I realised that somewhere across mismatched yellow bricks and a cushion of moss underfoot, the world had stopped spinning.
Aug 2019 · 392
LOW
Glory Aug 2019
LOW
I'm feeling low today.
Low, as in, slow.
Low, as in, if I take a step in the wrong direction I'm going to fall but there are no **** lights on.
Low, as in, I went to sleep at 6 AM even though I told you I would at 4. Then I woke up at 10. And again at 11:04. And again at 12.
Low, as in, when you texted me hello, that other girl wanted to say goodbye.
Low, as in, that other girl apologized for the inconvenience she causes with her existence and apologises for apologising.
And every other word is an apology because she only knows the words "I'm sorry".

I'm feeling low today.
Let me guess:
Just eat a little more.
Just sleep a little more.
Just remember that you are loved.

I'm feeling low today.
Low, as in, I can't eat because suddenly my body does not need it, I'm running on I'm sorry's and warm tea.
Low, as in, I'm running.
Low, as in, I'm sleeping, and waking up and sleeping and waking up.
And I'm tired of it.

I'm feeling low today.
Low, as in, I know people love me.
Low, as in, love was never the problem, the problem is me, the problem is waking up, the problem is digesting food that makes me want to ***** out all the strength in my body.

I'm feeling low today.

And maybe, after reading that line for the fifth time, it might start to look like a landmine.
Every time you stumble on it,
You die,
A little bit inside.

I'm feeling low today.
I'm sorry.
Them: How are you?
Apr 2019 · 589
She
Glory Apr 2019
She
It is like having a twin, whose existence makes other people uncomfortable.
Like before I was born, only I was in the ultrasound.
And no one was prepared for her when she followed me into the world.
It is like having a shadow that does not just stretch out behind me,
But instead, she has attached herself to my back.
It is like she has hooked her fingers over the edges of my ribcage,
Her head is resting on the start of my spine.
Her heels are digging into my thighs.
People ask why I let her hang around,
As if I have a choice.
It is like everyone is waiting for me to admit that I want her.
It is like they are all expecting me to secretly bend so she can climb on,
I do not.
They think I like it when I want to laugh but hers is what they hear,
I do not.
They think I choose the days when she is with me, telling me the words to say
I do not.
They think that when I wake up, she is something I put on.
Like a favourite t-shirt or a sad song.
She is not.
She is with me when I wake up.
She is with me when I sleep.
She is with me when I take my clothes off.
She is like a second skin that I can’t shed.

Do not ask me to leave her behind
Because it is not my decision
I cannot control her hold on me
It is her who is pulling the strings

It is like having a side of me that no one wants to know.
- As if they don’t already know her.
She is me when I can not help being down.
She is me when I can hardly whisper a sound.
She is me when I laugh the hardest.
She is me when I am missed.
She is me no matter your belief.
And maybe one day she will walk away.
But until then,
She is me.
A second without her feels like an eternity in Heaven
Apr 2019 · 293
Time Before Me
Glory Apr 2019
Red corner phone booths and black shiny pay phones
I will never use
Matching yellow church dresses and white heel shoes
I will never own
Tears soaking the handkerchief I had never sewn
There was a time before my sound was invented

When sunlight was not feared
The stars
Just one thousand glittering mysteries in the sky
A time before umbrellas
And gumboots
And elevators
That hid us from the gentle glide of cool raindrops

There were people before me.
People who sang to the heavens for mercy on their children
People who marched the streets with passion in their eyes
Courage in their chests
A demand for freedom in their hands.

A time where orchestras played for twirling layers of cupcake dresses
And black-coat-covered men who held giggling ladies close
A time when music was made with hands and mouths and air
Twisting and creating new and unique sonnets and ballads.

There was a time before cars
Horse hooves on hardened dirt
The powerful sound of the horse breathing, a constant
Step ladders and outstretched hands
Patiently waiting for fabric, jewellery and hair to glide out of the carriage.
These ladies I will never meet.
I will never have to thank the hand that ensures my balance
I will never taste the tea and scones laid out for visitors
That was the time before me

People I miss but never knew
Places I long for but have never visited
All the wars I never fought in
All the injustice I never helped right
All the boats I never swayed in
All the food I will never taste
There was time before me
And I will never forget it
Apr 2019 · 201
Veins and Arteries
Glory Apr 2019
Don’t be misled, for it is not my intention
I may look blue but inside
I am a rushing torrent of hot dark red
Don’t mistake me for something shy
for I can destroy you if you hurt me
But don’t be confused
I will also fight with you
When you shout your anger and your fists fly
I will stand out and thump the heart with our very own battle cry
You will feel me pushing passion through your arms and legs
when you race to the finish line
And I will protect you until your last breath
Till we say goodbye
Feb 2019 · 4.7k
Big Sister
Glory Feb 2019
I am familiar with the feeling of holding a child in my arms.

A baby tucked away in the crook of my neck feels like home in the summer.

A child’s laughter makes the usually unused corners of my mouth, stretch and warm because it sounds like music.

The first time my baby sister said no to a hug, I cried.

Not because I was not loved anymore but like summer rolling into winter, before my eyes, for the first time... I did not understand the rain.

This new unchartered thing had me twisting puzzle pieces right and left, this way and that.

To figure out a new way to map out the words ‘I love you’.

When more babies came and grew, in and out of my arms like the fizz in their birthday cups, jumping and popping out onto the table.

Only then did I understand the lightness on my hip was weighing down my soul with an anchor hanging off my ribcage.

Only then did I understand that the world needed rain to survive.

Only then did I slowly retract my long, outstretched plea for a love that no-longer-needed me.

And when the angels finally cried for her and when winter crept up again, I was ready.

Standing tall under my umbrella, cold hands and colder soul, protecting myself from the inevitable, distancing myself from the only home I ever remember having.

It’s okay to cry they said, it’s okay to feel this way. But surely nothing about this emptiness is okay.

Isn’t it ironic, that behind every story before bed and every kiss after the fall, when I loved her with every beat that my heart promised me, I would rest her in my arms and stroke her soft face and hope she would never feel the way I do.
I will never be ready
Oct 2018 · 176
Sweet Excuses
Glory Oct 2018
My life is full of
Perhaps, one day's
And small dreams
Of someday's

Switching between
Countless maybe's
And simple songs of
Busy lately's

Never quite ready
For fearless okay's
And nostalgia for
Crazy 'those days'
Oct 2018 · 92
Mother
Glory Oct 2018
They said you swore and fought,
For not one side but all.
They said your voice sounded and smelt,
Like smoke and alcohol.
Twisting and curling around,
Every broken letter and syllable.
They wanted to remember,
Back when you held them near.
Loved without reason and,
Wanted without wear and tear.
But like I always knew,
This was you,
Without veil and crown,
Unhidden, unhinged…
Our mother.
Aug 2018 · 109
Sweet Delirium
Glory Aug 2018
Twirling umbrella's,
The drip of light rain.
Strolling beneath angel's tears,
I let the world slip away,
And feel every ridge,
and smooth straight,
of this unknown soul within me.
Aug 2018 · 84
Moonlit
Glory Aug 2018
Became a glisten of moonlight she did...
So in love with its pale complexion.
Her face wept under the sun.
Her heart became obsessed with that
                                                 silver darkness.
Until she slipped into a trance.
       Forever twirling the moonlight dance.
Jul 2018 · 176
Where is his crown now?
Glory Jul 2018
Where is his crown now?
Buried under dirt and ground?
Smoothed out and barely round?
Does it resemble a noose now?
People are still bowing down,
    To a society-beaten, lover-cheatin, ****-reekin, funny class clown.
  Needs it. Craves it.
But it's a toxic pound.
It chokes him and kills him.
But feed him a different sound.
And he'll spit out every evil word, every misinterpreted rap, every unanswered text and every. single. unseen. devoted. act.
Until all he is. Is a sad little rat.
Hoping, praying and maybe even soul-searching.
Look at him now.
Torched, ****** and every other word that means he's down.
He's lying on the ground.
All his jokes spilling out.
And so I ask again.
Where is his crown now?
Jul 2018 · 81
Flickering
Glory Jul 2018
They say we are just lightning flashes in a moonlit sky.
But I feel like a small glow from a firefly
Just flickering....
....flicker....
...flick...
Jul 2018 · 66
Decay
Glory Jul 2018
Resting between my ribcage
under my heart
tucked inside
this is me
I am small and sad
and like an asthmatic
I struggle to inhale
every morning
I am not moulded
until noon Before then
I float around with
clay over my eyes and
face
Not ready
to see the
outside air

Screams and tears
I am more
human
than soul and
slowly
Im decaying
Jul 2018 · 72
I Wonder
Glory Jul 2018
I wonder what you would say
If you saw me this way;

Red nails, eyes flicking

You don't see me
You think I am something else
But these trembling bones
and shivering heart
This is me

Your eyes were just closed
Jul 2018 · 66
Rejection
Glory Jul 2018
Your face is a sour, sweet and bitter feeling in my iris
We still hope and wish for a boy who wants us
In time, my fear turned to isolation and my heart burned
You pushed me and pushed me when I was asleep
Don't expect me to love you
The way I did before
It's too late
You're too late

We stand apart now,
Saving our souls,
From the glass shards
You left behind.

We don't trust the sun,
In case it burns.

We cannot love,
In fear of falling.

We are all just blue and black souls.
You did this, brother.
Jul 2018 · 506
Apology
Glory Jul 2018
"I'm sorry"

"What for?" His whisper was too far to touch my skin. But I heard it.

"Melancholy is contagious,
latching on to vulnerable,
lovely hearts,
passing by.
And sometimes,
after a while,
on a frosty, lonely night,
just like this,
It's starts to itch a little"
Jul 2018 · 418
Power of Pauses
Glory Jul 2018
It’s the power of pauses
The silence between confessions
They create those dreaded pools under lashes
It’s the missing places
In the gaps from one rib to its brother
That creak and twinge all winter long
It’s the empty skin between our fingers
And that loud, hollowed space
In the dips of our collar bones
That stretches when we breathe

It’s those quiet moments
That gets us before we are ready
It’s the hesitation in your voice
And the long, drawn-out cry of mine
It’s empty

Try to fill me it said
Try to fix me it said
Try again
And again
Jul 2018 · 410
Read it all, Every word
Glory Jul 2018
SHUT MY MIND
PLEASE LET ME BE
I CAN NOT TAKE THIS NOISE
I AM BEGGING FOR REST

i ask for silence
and life
im begging
begging
listen to my plea

this sad small insignificance
little eyes and cold fingertips
stop the warmth of my blood
have i not done everything
EVERYTHING?

show me, love
show me freedom
show me my face
show me

leave
me,
this infinitesimal soul
Jul 2018 · 382
Princess Heart
Glory Jul 2018
They say
             To guard your heart
       from bad people
                                who hurt you

But I can't help it if I want to lock my heart away
in the highest room
                   in the tallest tower

Breathing fire on anyone
                                              who gets too close
Only for my heart to weep a sad song
                          every night, alone.
               Because it watched the world move on through blurry glass windows  

But it doesn't understand its own fragility
I can only protect it if it stays within me
                         If I give it away,
                                                    someone­,
                                                      anyone,
 ­                                                      everyone
                                                                ­     will break it

No, my Prince,
                           for you,
                                          I will not let my hair flow down.
Does anyone else have a desire to be loved but holds their own heart so close at night that it just might drown in blood?
Jul 2018 · 179
Toxic currency
Glory Jul 2018
I am young and poor
I study to become rich
At least that is what I am told

My parents love money
But not in a materialistic way
At least that's what they scream

They never asked if I wanted to be wealthy one day
They pushed and pushed
Because if I have money I will be happy

That's what they say anyway

But I don't need money
Instead, I pay in emotions
These long nights with no sleep are green notes
Every stanza I bleed is my bank account
Truly I have nothing
One day all this feeling inside of me will trickle out

Don't ask me to pay in silly gold coins
And the flattened faces of dead people
You already have everything that I am
Jul 2018 · 177
What My Father Said
Glory Jul 2018
He locked away the bad guys
Who hid under our beds
And the madness inside their eyes
Changed him all red

He was convinced of evil
And told us so
Of souls that were unsalvageable
That were without hope

Now I feel a chill
When I search my reflection
'Cause if I stand deadly still
I see no sliver of redemption
May 2018 · 173
Stagnating emotion
Glory May 2018
There are few things I hold close.
Reading, Listening, watching, are some.
I treat all these as if I am standing on a boat on the ocean.
I keep it steady, rocking side-to-side.
But as soon as the emotion reaches the top of my throat.
When the love unrequited is a stab to the gut.
When a vulnerable line is sung in a barely-there whisper.
Tears pool shining eyes, on the edge of a sharp descent.
Until a sudden fall -- gliding down that beautifully devastating face.

I can't take it -- a part of me feels I must look away, rip out earphones, tear out the page.
Until I can do nothing except leap out of the boat.
I would rather brave deep waters than let my heart shake and tremble one scene more.

I do this to keep me safe.
For I fear that the emotion will be too much.
One more word,
I fall apart.
Ripped into shreds of tense, indescribable fractions.

Only to be put together with unskilled hands.
My thoughts and organs all mixed up, back to front.
I might question: Who is it in that mirror.

Floating away -- never the same again.

Lost in a haze of emotion.
Tears, laughter and agony.
May 2018 · 182
Me I
Glory May 2018
My life ever changing
Few things are steady
I left the strength that cradles me
Replaced by the freedom
  Of my suffocation.
My own hand strangles me
The suffering that strains my core
     I put there.
There is confidence in this pain.
        I can trust its loyalty.
May 2018 · 181
Allay A little
Glory May 2018
Does anyone else ever feel like
No matter how loud you scream
It seems that no one speaks the same language.

You spend countless days
Pent up in a contained part of your mind
Careful not to let any light in

Hoping someone will listen to your cries
But not quite ready to share your pain

You hope that someone will just look at you and know
Because talking is so hard
Words become slurred
Your eyes will fill with tears
Just from the anxiety of thinking
"Where do I begin?'
"How much do I reveal?"

Don't you just feel like rolling over
And fading out of the stitch of the universe
It would be so much easier
"Don't think." You whisper.
"Just keep still your breath, and go to sleep."
May 2018 · 275
Yearning The Elusive
Glory May 2018
We all crave love
Because it drives humanity
Everything we do
For the sake of comfort
Assurance, love

But we do not love each other
Not truly, not without condition,
Clause and rule.
Kindness and ammunition
Come hand in hand

I fantasise night and day
For a love so deep
I feel it behind
The skin of my throat
And while I sleep

So I will search
For the essence of this love
Never finding it
But longing dangerously

It will strip the skin from my hands
Take all hope
Leaving me exhausted
And alone
Again
May 2018 · 214
no cure, no reasoning
Glory May 2018
everything is falling apart
the pieces of my life crumbling in ruins at my feet
i can taste the leftovers in the air
it hangs onto me
reminding me of my failure
i didn't pay enough attention to the sagging sides
or the ripped edges
instead my goals drip in my mind like a windshield in a storm
melting away potential
blurring what i wanted and what i didnt
there are no cures for pain like this
the numbness will continue to be
no medical advice can stop it from catching other hearts
walking by
no, this failure, this pain, this travesty
there is no hope for a sadness like this
there is no reasoning with the mind
Glory May 2018
Creatures assuming
forever repeating
hating spontaneity
adoring originality
we can not be
without already being
we can not love
without having loved
a little confusing
a lot troubling
wondrous silence
and full obedience
I don't usually do notes but I feel that people might interpret this wrong. I am describing the way my life is now and how I view the ******* of expectations that are on my life. I find it difficult to live.
May 2018 · 195
She Was Free
Glory May 2018
I oft think of the future
One hour
One year
One decade
Forming a moment
Captured in time
A little soul
Locked in a big city
A sad cat, the only friend
Pouring over papers
Potential pain
And sad solar systems
Endless stories
Muted
By money and success

Wondering
Remembering
Memories of nature
And Ginkgo trees

Of a simpler time
Where rusted nails
Were currency
And laughter
The only goal

I was just
As much a
Girl as now
The only change:
She was free
May 2018 · 196
Closing in 15 Minutes
Glory May 2018
How do you fit whole stories
in just 15 minutes?
Are we not surviving
on unpredictable?
Why attach time frames
to thoughts?
Deadlines encircling
emotions.
Is there any peace in thinking?
Can I not traverse freely in my mind?
Without a stopper in imagination?
Without a prohibition for wonder?
The world used to end only when I closed my eyes.
Now it seems to end every few minutes.
Then jump start again, just as quickly.
Not quite enough time to live life.
But just enough to miss it.
Glory May 2018
There is a tree
that rests upon a white bookshelf. Unheard yet all-seeing it is constructed of marble flesh and bronze painted skin. Only the bravest of imaginative minds can possibly fathom the smooth texture that adorns it and the stroke of detail that dances on the surface. Draped in glittering, soft pink leaves, it tells of long-lost stories. Tales,
tainted with sadness and passion. It taught a thousand soldiers, forgiveness. And patiently waited for a
baby's first laugh.
May 2018 · 186
Floating Burdens
Glory May 2018
It's like
being consumed by a heaviness
Words
like iron on the tongue
Yet
the space between skin and bone is just oxygen
The wind
can carry you
and every part of you
with just
a whisper in the breeze

Your soul sinks down
by nothing
'Cept crisp autumn air
Apr 2018 · 338
Liquid Words
Glory Apr 2018
Words
Are fluid
They drip from mouths
Like blood
They are passion
Anger
And Tears
Words spoken
Galaxies built
Rivulets of
Liquid pain
Reaching into
Souls
Like poison
They are
The first chill of autumn
Holding all locations
They spend decades
Upon a page
Clinging to dark ink
Slashes and smacks
Hisses and kisses
Words hold
The secrets of people
And sometimes
The whole universe
Apr 2018 · 106
Lost and Unfound
Glory Apr 2018
I try to see me
Only older
With friends. And kids.
The image can not form
Behind these lids
I am lost
In a seamless cycle
I have no prince
No astronaut
No fireman
Because heroes only look for
Broken people
No one rakes burning lives
For broken souls
Apr 2018 · 1.7k
Lonely Love Letters
Glory Apr 2018
I've dreamed of love
What does it feel like?
Maybe it could be mine one day
What will it feel like?
Like whispering at 3 in the morning
Is everything a little numb?
When our souls are connecting
Or will we be so lost in a whirlwind of feelings
That when the petals are falling
It was just a little thing
A little fake
A little time in space
A fantasy

Will that love be strong?
Battling tough winds and temptations?
                                       Or barricading my heart and lungs?
                                        Each year becoming less lovely
                                                          ­               Less free and more ******
                

         Will we wake up one day
           And just walk away

But maybe that love is not for me
                         Maybe those dreams and hopes
                             Are just letters of apology
                                               From the one who made love
                                                   To say that they are sorry
                                                           ­         But all the matches are made
                                                            ­                And I am going to be lonely
Apr 2018 · 122
Wanting The World
Glory Apr 2018
Why do we cry for little things?
Like rain clouds and tiny rings
Why do we live in small worlds?
That drip cold silver pearls
Why do we live like this?
Wanting more and more -- having less
Paying in stacks of love
And rivers of loyalty
Receiving ostentatious nothing
Apr 2018 · 129
And I
Glory Apr 2018
And I,
The smallest of all,
Lost in skies under lids,
Hoped for more.
Yet,
It was not to be,
That life,
And I.

G.B.

— The End —