I'm sorry if I lied to you.
I convinced even myself I loved you.
Invisible masks trick even the masked.
A silent sunrise
Your last wheezy breaths were swirling, howling winds ensnared in an invisible beer bottle
Undisturbed, I slept on
When I woke, you were gone
To the boy who is not confident, just breathe. I promise to value your opinions and tell you mine. I promise to show you the real woman behind the eyes, even if I know you will not like her. I vow to hold your heart gently, even if it is just for a short while. Your body and soul are one person and I will never separate my affections for either.
To the boy who assumes. Stop. I am no girl, I am a woman. I will choose family over romance, every time. Yes, I wear the same shoes every day and no, I don't intend to buy more. I love flowers but only if I pick them myself. I am not similar to anyone you have met before. Stop assuming that you know me, even a little.
To the boy who held me as I cried, my tears were not promises. With every tear that I let fall, I am new. You may find comfort in comforting a gentle, soft doe but know that I learn from my wounds and I heal from my choices. The doe will break all it is, so that it may become the lion.
To the boy who said that I am his sun, you are wrong. I am not the sun or the stars but the eclipse of a moon, the dying of a star. I am but a moment in time and that moment will never be yours. You can not contain me. Just know me and learn me. My shine may sting your eyes but boy, it will light a fire in you.
A cry for help is a cause for alarm.
Self harm carves tales in pale arms.
Scars form like lines scored in old boards
and tree bark, graffiti of hearts broke in the park.
tattoos use ink. A penknife will ooze blood into sinks.
Introspection is a writhing vivisection.
cutting deep, fists clench and twist
bending ribs with wrenching wrists.
Rending bars apart the cradle that cribs the heart
that drums a beat like bells that rung your death knell
from the first to last breath your lungs have expelled.
A tongue to tell and eyes to see, a mind to be,
a heart to feel.
It hurts to heal.