With gentle cheeky smiles and cheery cheers,
You endeared yourself to your deary dears,
My jealousy rose up like the towering tiers,
of classic wedding cake infused with beers,
Drunk even more in love without you here,
Us becoming strangers made me shed tears,
Somehow your babbling is a delight to hear,
But you're getting far away, not even near.

you're the iceberg to my titanic .
you took me by surprise..
and left me in a wreck .
left a hole in the center of my heart
made me unfixable and cold and *broken

I'll write everyday
Even if I write about nothing
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Even if it isn't the least bit good
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Because silence is compliance
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Because they haven't broken me yet
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Even if no one reads it
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Even if it makes you mad
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Because I need to let you know
but what if..

I'll write everyday
Because my conscious tells me so

but what if.. I will be here no more?

#DarkThoughts

Did you see the bliss
Shoot across the night sky?
Here then there so quickly
Like a blink could project its moment
Yet when crumbling
Into the quake of memory
It is the window's remaining rain
Trickling down so slowly after the storm
Until all that is left is its drying trail
Clear to see the tired clouds sink behind
A heart so weathered
Never truly sleeps. Never rests
The hallow beats manifest
Into the crippling visions of the night
Blanketed by such distress
Until the rising light does nothing
But awaken the regrets that were left on the nightstand
Like a book with one chapter
No where left to turn
Do you see the ache
Shining dim in the night sky?
Like a footprint in the moon's dust
As alone as one could ever walk
Do you see the shame?
Like forty dying stars
Their fiery, blazing eyes
Watching every paranoid jitter

Everyday, I wait for you.
It's all I ever do.
I wait for you to be home from school.
I sit around and stay cool.

I wait for you to be home from a guys' night out.
I make sure you're home safe so I can sleep without a doubt.
I wait for you when you feel like calling..
I wait for you, you know I do.

You did not force me to wait.
I guess, Im just the one who doesn't hesitate.
Maybe I just wanted to wait for you,
Or you give me reason to.

Im not complaining to you.
I just want you to appreciate what I do.
But there are really times when I think it's enough.
These were the times I think it's rough.

You keep me waiting for you.
Maybe you don't care coz you know waiting is what I always do.
But sometimes, you keep me waiting not knowing what to expect.
I think it's just painful and I feel that somehow there's no respect.

It's hard when you wait for something.
How much more if you just wait there not knowing what's gonna be happening?
When the person you're waiting for doesn’t say a word.
You think you're being absurd.

I just grew tired of doing so.
Especially when you found out you waited for nothing though.
I guess it breaks your heart.
I bet it tears you apart.

There’s a gun upon my bed
Not the kind made of metal
A vivid tattoo color
Above my lover’s
Secret devil

And that gun is like a demon
Aimed toward her pleasure zone
Urging hunters to take a shot
And take the trophy
Home

I see blood upon the doorstep
I smell ****** in her fold
I  fear ghosts will haunt her body
In the bullets I have sown

I hear hungry infants crying
The ones she gave away
And the ******* she is hiding
Are my regrets from yesterday

I feel the gun blazing
As she ***** my breath away
I’m a hostage to her body
In the mayhem
She  purveys

In the middle of the night
I’ll make my escape
Run, run, run
Run away

I’ve got to run

In the middle of the night
When her back is turned
Run, run, run
Run away

I’ve got to run

There’s a gun upon my bed
It belongs to my baby
Burned deep inside her
On a night she went
Crazy

And every time I think
I’ll flee
Her dangerous painted gun
She draws it against me
And I feel myself succumb

I see blood upon the doorstep
I smell ****** in her fold
I  fear  ghosts will haunt her body
In the bullets I have sown

I hear hungry infants crying
The ones she gave away
And the ******* she is hiding
Are my regrets from yesterday

Save me from her gun
She’ll never let me go
Save me from drowning
In her young and wanton soul

I’ve got to run
But there’s a gun

My baby won’t let me go.