Maybe I should've stayed sober
when you came over
and the lines, walls and words
started to blur,
but in that short skirt that works so well
you had your hand under my shirt
and those evil eyes  that excite  
,unafraid of hurt, that night
someone paid the price

We befriended a bottle for a three day ******
and a sledgehammer hangover had my
brain in the blender
   waving a white straight jacket
in surrender

We'd wake up to a mirrors shameful stare
Mixing love and lust without a care.
In some sort of sinful cocktail,
each and every time our wills would fail
some small part of my broken heart
would merge with hers
as we pretended to be whole,
I let passion poison my soul.

We'd Dance in a drugged induced stupor,
imagining a false future together
so I said that I loved her,
But
when drugs wore down we fell to the ground
Sweet lies started our slow demise.

She'd say she was fine but I'd find her in tears.
So I held her in my arms while I couldn't feel,
but after being so numb, nothing felt real.
Then she begged me to share
just to show that I care.
So i said it was better to lock myself away
For fear of the words that I needed say

The two years together instead of forever
As you shredded my head apart
And I spitefully tore out your heart.
When we were close
we'd corrode and corrupt
and from a far
we'd suffer in silence

In your pain you fell for someone else,
forcing me to smile while I rot away in side
But,
Tired of passing round the disease that was Blame.
I severed you from my mind and heart
and separately we slowly fell apart.

On the verge of death with a fist
clenching poison
and our body barely breathing we were
Self sabotaging star crossed lovers
with a semi fatal ending

In my hand I hold a ****** pen
repeatedly staked
into my hole ridden heart.
-As I write walls around my mind,
I am locked so far away
from the scolding stares
of ignorant eyes.
I mark the trail of my escape by
Silently bleeding ink across the canvas,
that is my written world.

In my shaking hand I hold a pen,
A sword secretly unsheathed each night
To resist  the unrelenting
demons that dance in the depths of my mind.
Afraid to succumb to sleep
for the fight to seize a soul so shattered
that it longer swings, slashes and stabs
at the black hands holding down
the broken body
desperate for demented thoughts to dissipate.

In my hands I no longer hold a pen,
as out the throat that screams
of a self fulfilling prophesy of pain
protrudes a pen,
and as only silence survives
an empty shell stares back,
haunted by what I've done
longingly gazing at the light far above
as I crawl out the  black pit
I willingly plunged into
for the last time.

Living red writing drips
like the tears of my wounds.
as the room rotates rapidly
silence suffocates my spinning tomb.

Hopelessly i cling at straws
only finding pencils
as I drown in this page.

my ice cold corpse cracks  
as my eyes fill with feint flames,  
and a ghoulish grin masks a grim gaze,
as I set my sights on deaths empty eyes
I issued a defiant challenge, daring him
to try take this tormented teen.

Did he flinch!
Or
was it a fallacy, formed from
My own measure of madness?