I play with fire
I drown in rain
I scream please help me
Someone take this pain

She wakes up late
With only 4 hours of sleep again
She wears only black and white
Hoping to fade away like an old memory
She starts to be sick
Why is she like this
Nothing is wrong yet
So why is she trying to cough up herself
She heads to school a cloud brewing
Over her head hatred lies
Her life it's pursuing
Can't eat all day
Lies and says she's okay
Accepts hugs
That's proof that something really is wrong
Her openly seeking physical affection
Completely out of the norm
She sees him a few times today
The boy she craves in passing through halls
And caught a brief glimpse of the girl he loves
Rarely seen nowadays
Then she sits in class with a boy she doesn't understand
The boy she truly needs was there too, all along
Never far when it matters
He gives her all she needs
She loves him so much
Come the 4th hour in
Somehow she turns around
Pain for laughter
An unknown comfort found

She wakes up late
With only 4 hours of sleep again
She wears only black and white
Hoping to fade away like an old memory
She starts to be sick
Why is she like this
Nothing is wrong yet
So why is she trying to cough up herself
She heads to school a cloud brewing
Over her head hatred lies
Her life it's pursuing
Can't eat all day
Lies and says she's okay
Accepts hugs
That's proof that something really is wrong
Her openly seeking physical affection
She sees him a few times today
The boy she wants in passing through halls
And caught a brief glimpse of the girl he loves
Rarely seen nowadays
Then she sits in class with a boy she doesn't understand
The boy she needs was there too all along
Never far when it matters
He gives her what she needs
She loves him so much
Come the 4th hour in
Somehow she turns around
Pain for laughter
Unknown comfort found

My Response to Ember Evanescent's 10 Poets Challenge (incase you're incapable of reading titles I'll be momentarily redundant)
These are some of my favourite poets on the site, some of whom I know in real life (from B.H.P) others who I have discovered and come to know through the site these past few months (A.H.P.).

In alphabetical order, I'd like to pay tribute to:

A Sickening Love ~ skilled poetess and my extraordinary friend who writes heartbreakingly relatable poems. She gives me strength, always.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/ASickeningLove/

Andy ~ my first ever like and follow, I may be somewhat bias towards you, putting you here. He has such a beautiful, independent style.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/Hp/

Deafening Silence ~ the reason I joined this site. I've been poem-stalking them for years on Poem Hunter, and when I saw them on here... well, I felt prompted to join, so here I am. I am 100% in love with their work, and am also 100% frustrated because they've not been on since I joined so I haven't been able to tell them they inspire me so. (Sorry this is way longer than the others, I rambled some.)
>> http://hellopoetry.com/deafening-silence/

Gavin Barnard ~ posts work that I can relate to. He has a very passionate writing style and I highly recommend reading him.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/gavin-barnard/

Kay ~ is the love of my life. Just kidding. But Kay is my rose, she has been the peer-writer I have looked up to for as long as I can remember. She is so talented, I hope to be half the writer she is.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/dearestdarling/

konr ~ I get so excited when I see a new piece from konr. He has such a way with words that he leaves me breathless. Every. ****. Time.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/konr/

Layla Thurman ~ writes my thoughts most days. I'm not joking, she's incredible.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/walrusfaces/

Thomas King ~ is someone who, like konr, I look for his pieces and get completely wrapped up in his artistry. Utterly addicting.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/deplorability/

True Courage ~ makes a statement with each piece he writes. I am a huge fan, highly recommend.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/justin-devitt/

WM ~ is a genius. Please go read Walter's work, he is so talented. Huge fan of him.
>> http://hellopoetry.com/walter-m/

(Also, if you care, two of my favorite classics:
Christina Rossetti & W. H. Auden)

One month.
I'm still waiting
For myself
To find a way
To **** this up.

how can i feel so out of place
when i am inside my own skin

At two in the morning
I told you I'd
Locked myself in the closet
Again
I couldn't bare to listen
But you knew the walls
Were thin

You told me to wait
And you'd take me
Away
From this place

At two in the morning
You pulled up
I climbed out my window
And ran to the street

Italian rock bands
In your speakers
Drowning out the house
Behind

I was just 15 you an "adult"
And I had a boyfriend
I didn't love
Though none of it mattered
No
None of that mattered

As we passed the
Townline
I choked on a cry
And you stayed silent

Pulled up to your place
At two in the morning
Air hockey tournament
In your basement
Until

I was safe

Whisper to me without words
Give me an eternity in an instant
Show me a new galaxy in a glance
Dazzling constellations contained in your eyes
Like a nebula, exploding, expanding with each moment we share
Kaleidoscope colors
Glistening and changing at a pace that feels like fireworks
But looks like stars
Stare into my soul with those hazel-green eyes

Whisper
Whisper
Whisper
She sings the sea calls to me
But I can hear the wind that howls
Unfurling above her sea

Always thinking of you
Never sure why
Dreaming and hoping you
Really might care
Even if I am insane
Waiting with hope

Maybe you feel the same?

Words
     that constantly run through my mind and fill my vision
     I can't get enough
Canisters and bottles
     that bring me peace when I'm done dealing
His hands
     that make me shake with desire and terror
Hello Poetry
      -- now I have somewhere to put everything
Connor Jessup and Finnick Odair
     because I'm a fangirl
Pain
     and it follows me everywhere
Sunsets and starry nights
     that I can't stop drawing
Photography
     -- always
My religion and beliefs
     -- I'll never sell out

I'm addicted to having my heart broken

Sometime while he's groping my chest
He rips my heart out of it

I live for being lied to

Keeping my eyes covered staying blind
As to only rely on his words

I'm crazy about being a game piece

To be handled and moved wherever he pleases
For toys are meant to be played with

Mostly though
I'm addicted to having my heart broken

Don't look,
Don't speak.
Stay young,
Stay weak.
A picture in a frame,
A doll on a shelf.
Your looks can bring you fame,
Just deny yourself.

part of me* wonders what it's like to smile and mean it
part of me is afraid of everything
part of me doesn't care
part of me has never traveled beyond internal thoughts
part of me misses him
part of me wants to be alone
part of me wishes that were true
part of me will never have a home
part of me lives deep within and hasn't been seen
part of me might risk it all
                      because
all of me  is in love with you

Your pointe shoes still hang at your window
Your trophies still top your bookshelf
Your certificates are all there, filed neatly
Your jar of compliments is on hand to read

So stop forgetting who you are
What you're worth
Think of the tears you dry
Think of the smiles you're thrown
Think of your "sisters" who want to be you

I love your hair like hay and your eyes like midnight
I love the curve of your waist and the crooked smile
I miss the the laughter that you gave everyone
I miss the safety that you provided for the wondering

I miss the girl before the scars
On her body and on her heart

He reassures me over his plate of food that I'm not that insane

He  reminds  me to consider medication
I      remind    him that it's my life
He  reminds  me to consider eating food again
I      remind    myself I need to hide it better

He  reminds  me that I have good inside
I      remind    him that I hurt the ones I love
He  reminds  me that I've been worse
I      remind    him I've been better

He  reminds  me about how I ruined us, but that's past
I      remind    him that I ruined us in the first place
He  reminds  me we were naive
I      remind    him that it was never a game to me

He  reminds  me I have a future
I      remind    him that I have a past
He  reminds  me that I have a present
I      remind    myself that I shouldn't wait, should act

So you want to forget?
You have a drink.
Or six.
So you want to get high?
You roll your own.
Light up.
So you want to feel alive?

All you little amateurs,
Let me show you.
Come join me
In my chemical chemistry factory,
Or my suicide surgical stand,
Homemade scalpel in my hand.
I can help you.

Magazines tell me how
                                           pretty
I am.
School tells me how
                                           smart
I am.
"Friends" tell me how
                                           funny
I am.
Instructor tells me how
                                           talented
I am.

Can't I just be
                                           me?
With no comparative quality necessary?

Every time he says go **** yourself
I can't help but laugh at him
Not because it's preposterous
But because how could he know
How many times I've already tried

Every time I look at myself
I count up all my sins
Wishing my life were less boisterous
Wishing I had somewhere else to go
Maybe death -- I live like I've already died

one word,
broken,
shattered the
silence like a mirror.
seven years of
bad luck has nothing,
nothing on this.
the isolation and separation
never failing
to hit their target.

Your words are
           Laced with lead,
                       And I sink further
                                        Into the abyss of my heart
                                                                 The more you drape over me...

They reminded me
                            of all the ways
                                                you've      b  r  o  k  e  n      my      h  e  a  r  t
            and I should find
                                           someone new
                             but I can't seem
                                                    **to       l­  e  t       g  o

I'm not going to beg you to stay
I'm not going to sob please don't go
I'm not going to say you're too young
I'm not going to pretend it can all just be fixed

But I want you to know
I'll miss you everyday, like I already do
I'll pray for you everyday, like I already do
Some near four months ago now, when I joined this site
          you were my first like and follow
          you made me want to write, you still do

You are a comfort and an anchor
I only wish I could be the same for you
You are like my brother, but not, because you'd never hurt me
You make me feel like smiling and
          I wish I could show you my smile, give you my laugh
          give you back all the things you've given me

Late August this guy who called himself Magicath started following me
          and I thought it was the greatest thing ever
But what was greater was getting to know the Playlist Of Souls
          behind the screen name

Andy, I'm not going to ask you to stay for me, because no one's
          been able to do that before,
          never mind like this
But for you to stay
          is my own tearful, secret wish

~"g"

I'm a dork,            a freak,
                pathetic,             quiet,
    loud,              obnoxious,
               loyal,                 concerned,
self absorbed,      afraid,
              disconnected,     preoccupied,
      and more.

  My bookshelf spills
              onto the floor,
                           into my closet,
      covers my mattress.

                           I spend more time
            RPing in forums
      than I do
                      talking to people
                I actually know.

                                                       I have this
                                                      weird accent
                                                                ­             that doesn't belong
                                                      where I live,
                                                                ­             it gets wicked strong
                                                       when I'm upset                 or tired.

My entire wardrobe is
a walking reference
                                             to novels,
                                  sci-fi,
or something else.

I wear hats... a lot.

I bring books,
handhelds,
and notebooks
         to events
where
I'm supposed to
                         socialize.

                                                     ­          I
                                                           dance
                                                        randomly­
                                                             and
                                                           people
                                                            star­e.

I snort
       when I laugh,
               really loudly.

I                     d             a             y             d             r             e             a            m.