This is going to be difficult to say.
Because it’s a difficult thing to be proud of oneself sometimes.
When the shame persists long after the taunts have faded, confidence can be hard to summon and much harder to maintain.
But when I’m happy with who I am, I am a million percent in love with me.
I remember where I’ve been and the things I’ve done and the people who have loved me and I know for a FACT that I matter.
Even though this doesn’t happen very often, when it does, it makes all of these dark times worth it.
And I’ll remember: this is why I push through the darkness.
The time you spend envying someone should instead be used to emulate them.
One of the main differences I see between a child and an adult is the individual’s relationship with drama. To walk away from drama is to be an adult. To create drama is to be a child. I’ve known a few middle-aged children.
I’ve exhausted all my distractions.
I don’t know if I can provide for my future babies.
Right now, I struggle to take care of myself.
I thought I knew who I was but it turns out those traits were just things.
There’s a vacuum inside making me ache and I keep filling up with the wrong things.
I'm trying not to think that maybe I’ve already peeked.
And I’m honestly terrified that the best parts of my entire life happened long enough ago that I’m already forgetting them.
I’m idolizing people and finding their darkness and then getting confused about what the hell I’m even aspiring to.
And even little things explode into impossible barriers.
And I’m scared that the few people that love me will realize I don’t even come close to their idea of who I am.
When you turn on the light in your bathroom, the fan thing turns on too. It’s loud and it’s preventing you from hearing anything going on outside the bathroom. You’re taking a **** or your **** in the shower and someone’s breaking in but you don’t know that and your naked or wiping your *** and defenseless.
You are bored when you’re lazy because you’re not doing the things that you never planned to do.
I only get onions on my sandwich on the days when I’m not seeing my girlfriend.