gravity
its certainty is puzzling
the way it attracts something
towards its center

it holds me down
until i drown
in worlds where words
can't lift me up no longer

gravity is certain
but i'm a skeptic
so i stand here
where my feet don't adhere
to the ledge of the 25th floor

[i want to test it]

It's been three straight days
and I've forgotten the moon
and the calm of night

it starts with one
one touch
or glance
or voice heard
across a crowded mall food court

then it becomes two
two people
in sync
or harmony
or a hand-me-down car
with hearts convulsing and palms sweating

eventually it becomes zero
but we'll cross that bridge
never if god permits

i can't wait
to raise dogs with you

I've been finding it harder to be sad...
But I know it will be back
and as sure as the sun breaks through
the pitch black of the night sky
on an early Sunday morning
I will not be ready for it. Ever.

I know it's against my rules
to write down names but here goes

••••••••

Just the names that slips my tongue
bleeds happiness so much so that
it numbs me, makes me forget
forget the smell of iron
and makes me forget the many
shades of red that we can make
and instead reminds me of the smell
of freshly cut grass. Reminds me
of the amazing spectrum of
blues, purples, and whites  that
the sky has always had but somehow
remained hidden to me,
faded into the background.

I'm not telling you this to tell you
I'll never get bad again. because
I will. Soon.
My night will come again, dear
and all I ask is that you remain my sun
Giving me distance when it is needed
but never letting me leave your gaze
Always beneath your effervescent glow
You are indeed my Sun ☀
and my Moon ⚫
and all my Stars ★

i took seven sleeping pills last night
which is six more than what the label says but
four more than what i usually take
and i have come to a realization
that i used to sleep
not because of the pills
but because the space beside me
used to be occupied
by you