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What4221 Oct 15

At the altar of surrender,
I met you

A church bathed in glory sunlight
An altar streamed in colored glass windows
Light sharp enough to cut
Your hand leaning against the stone
The bricks
The gold edging where blood once pooled

I fell to my knees at the altar.
What4221 Sep 14
A child's sock, torn, in the dirt
Three photographs behind broken glass
And a table, tipped on its side

An empty schoolroom
Today’s lesson scrawled across the chalkboard
Pages torn to drift in the wind

Cracked cement
Fresh painted tarmac, stained
A tree on fire

Black smoke choking the sky
A hushed red glare
And the burn of an invisible sun

The peace of a quiet summer day
No birds, no insects, no animals,
No people

All of these empty containers
Smashed against the hard ground
Indistinct shadows on the wall

Like breadcrumbs
Breadcrumbs left behind
To be eaten by the birds.
What4221 Sep 13
(Only as long as you-)

I can't believe how wonderful it all is

(Answer their questions-)

A new year, different
But communicable

(They only want-)

New people and faces
And the same old town
Glowing reassuringly at night

(Don't **** this up-)

People are smiling with their eyes now
Talking louder to be heard through their masks
Growing closer
Even as they must stay apart

(They only like you because-)

The readings go well
The papers are written
The professors are happy
And the day keeps turning
And the sting of regret has vanished

(If you stop being useful-)

Happiness comes more genuinely now
The bright sunlight
The green grass
And invitations to take part
The people I have come to know
The comforting thunder at night

(One day, they're going to realize-)

I still feel haunted.
What4221 Aug 25
I open my box of cereal this morning
A toy, trapped in slight crumbs at the bottom
Like the ******* Jacks and elementary drawing winnings of my childhood
Cheap and plastic inside Kinder eggs
Gold foil wrapped around chocolate to become pirate's treasure
Clacking Mardi Gras beads and fabric flowered leis
And the small plastic bags of Nerds and cheap sunglasses
Tiny parachute men to drop once and throw away the tangled remains
A small breeze
A smell
Summer, hot and sunny,
Singing to me
As I open my box of cereal this morning
And become trapped in the deja vu of a childhood
Memories of birthday parties and cheap toys
And sunny afternoons
And pools and trampolines
And a toy among the crumbs at the bottom of the box
Plastic and cheap and sunny.
August 25, 2020
What4221 Aug 23
A circle means forever

   (Ouroboros- devouring

There's a fire in the middle,
And we're gathered

    (Bonfire for the holy pray, you can't buy
      your way into heaven anymore

God's palm pressed against the sky
In lingering clouds that blot out the light

Keep in the heat

It's far too hot for a fire

     (They said there'd be more brimstone)

I want to go home

But a circle (ouroboros devour) means forever

We gather around the heat

                                        And we burn.
August 22, 2020
What4221 Aug 18
When I was younger I'd wake up from nightmares and silent screams to darkness
And stumble my way out of a crooked bed
And trace my hand along the wall
Until I found my parents room down the hall
And I'd stand silent in the doorway
Trying to judge if they were still awake
Or if I was bothering them
And my mom was always so tired
So I'd walk over to my dad's side,
Tiptoeing on the carpet
And gently shake and whisper his name
Until he woke up and asked what was wrong
And sometimes I had puked in the bathroom
And sometimes I couldn't sleep
And sometimes my own mortality had shaken me
But nights like this I was afraid of the shadows
And the things that reached out of them
So he'd turn on the lamp
And I'd be pulled up to sleep between them
Safe and sound

Now I'm older
And those nightmares have followed me
And I wake up, silently screaming, and get a glass of water
And turn on the CD player
And all of the lights
And cry myself to sleep

But in the morning,
When the sun is back,
I can call my dad
And for a moment
I'm safe and sound again.
August 17, 2020
What4221 Aug 16
Blue, purple, pink.

She sits there and scoffs at the colors-ridiculous

And I bite my tongue, I’m ridiculo-

Shake my head, leave the room.

(Love you no matter what)


I won’t tell them.

But God, I wish I could.
August 15, 2020
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