Your dreams
Haunt you
In the backseat
Of your Toyota
As you try to sleep
In the heat
Of summer

Not a piece of lint in your pocket
Can't even afford a chicken wing
But you remember when
You hit the foothills of the Himalayas
Home of that blue jewel, lapis lazuli

A young flight medic
Getting intimate with mortality
Playing footsie
With the angel of death
Pulling mangled bodies
Back to the rotary wing

A couple missions here
Couple missions there
Nothin'
Too
Crazy,

And then, boom,
Reality got stripped bare
Ripped holes in the fabric.

A break
In the hellish normalcy

You stared into the eyes of your enemy
Pale blue, almost lazuli

Just tryin' to save his soul
Nothin' like fighting at 1,000 ft, huh?

'Cause he's got his mind made up
As he reaches for your pistol
You're trying to start an IV

Ain’t **** crazy?

You already thought you were dead
A zombie saving the lives of the free

This has to be a dream
He was just supposed to be a casualty:

Shrapnel through and through
******* chest wound
Tourniquet to the right leg
One on the right arm, too
Vitals, iffy
Hypotensive, trending
Needed fluids, soon.

So when this *******
Started reaching
And couldn't nobody hear it?
You could hardly believe it

Crew chief and the pilot were talking
Not paying attention
Man,
Adrenaline is a wild thing

You struggle
He struggles
where's the ******* chief?
Guess death's coming at 1,000 ft

The bird howls like a banshee
And God's out on patrol
It's either you or he
This is the way  it has to be

There's a ringing in your ears
Is that his heartbeat?
Yours?
The chatter of your teeth?
Or just an animal roar?

Didn't get to see your mother
Your daddy either
Never felt their love
Now you know
They were just two people

Maybe you could've had a wife
Maybe a kid or two
after you got home
and all this was through.

Now, it's either him or you.

There's a break in your memory
As you return to summer
That's been happening more lately
Forgetting things

VA sent you to a specialist
Said you need more testing
Could be that
Could be this
Gonna need an MRI or contrast CT
Could be something
Could be nothing

You look up at the drooping upholstery
Hanging from the ceiling
Of your beat-up Tundra.

You still feel the sweat of the mountains,
You still taste the gasoline
Of that chopper's thunder.

Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat
Outside your truck
Gunshots
Clipping the horizon
On the other side of the parking lot
Near the Walmart beside Verizon

Ain't no lullaby
Just a requiem.

You close your eyes to sleep
But all you can hear is that chopper scream.

She wears her despair
Like a necklace.

Posts pictures of it
With a bleached sadness
In her teeth.

She smiles.

But she writes captions
About how sad it is
To be.

To "live."
That "life is a journey."
A "highway."
A "trek."
There's "always time to turn over a new leaf."

She finds power
In flitting about
Telling the world her sorrows.

She sweetens
To the sound of pity
On your lips.

Like a hummingbird
She wants you
To open your petals
So that she can take
Her tongue
To your nectar
And
Lick
And lick.

She is a pitiful thing.

She wishes
To be the bird.
The tongue.
The feather.
The petal.
The drooping stem.
The starving
Root.
The bitter dream.
the vibrant ecstasy
of a honey
tasting both bitter
and sweet,
like a nectarine
or the first hint of gasoline
before everything
is burning.

Half a world away
I day-
dreamed of you dancing in
the sun
your eyes a thousand stars
lifting to the heavens
as the music coursed through your veins
and your body shimmered
in the glittering rain
a thousand souls beside you
all heartbeats one

Your spirit finally freed
your wings unschackled
the soul no longer heavy

I dream
that in that
crowd
a face turns towards
you
in the sea
two pairs of eyes meet
a nova explodes
a giant star collapsing pulls
you
and he
and you do not think
of me.

We could always say
that it was almost us
that it was almost forever
that it was almost right
just the wrong time
and this fated life ain't right

I took your love
and cheated on you with time
I took all your pain
and threw it in your face
You could almost say
our love was the color
of the tears in your eyes
and it was just so perfect
only half the time
The other half
We 'bout lost our minds

But
we had something special
and it was almost us
it was almost
forever
it was almost
life
I just kept telling you
it was you
and that was almost
always
halfway
right.

Driving down a North Carolina road
An hour after dusk,
A nice buzz drifting through my body
watching the fireflies dancing across two-lanes,
and the smell of grass a delightful hint on the air.
A warm breeze with a slight chill at the end
drifts through my open window
Like a cool kiss laying you in a warm bed.
And mac miller croons
His soul full of understanding
Of the messages that stem from depression.'
A couple of the quaint homes I drive by on these winding roads
have already strung up Christmas lights on their quiet porches,
because we Carolinians love a peaceful joy.
And I just know
That this is heaven.
And I know I ran from home
to escape my pain,
but to return
is an inescapable epiphany.

The say
give him his flowers
during those April showers
before he gets too old
and loathes
the smell
of the young
rose.

They say,
give him his flowers
when the thunder
cracks,
the lightning whips,
and
the wind rips
his soul to blistering bits.

They say
give him his flowers
when the sun comes out
with it's hot quench
and
melts the fun
of all his summer dreams
and
he just can't believe
that when he was young

he really did
dream

but now
he licks
at
nothing
finding love
haunting.

shiny toy
dazzling in the sun
but nothing
to love.