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2d · 17
Can You Hold Me?
Jay M 2d
Darling,
Can you hold me?

When the night is cold
And nearby I hear a dog snarling
The streets dark and not letting my anxiety be
Can you hold me?

When the fire's burning bright
And the lighting is just right
Will you hold me close and tight?

When the room is full of boxes
And we're sly as foxes
Unpacking our lives together
Similar, like birds of a feather
Can you hold me?

When the day is long
And I sing you that love song
Can you hold me in your arms?

My safe place
Is seeing your face
Falling for all of your wonderful charms
While being in your arms.


- Jay M
January 15th, 2020
Just dreaming..
Jay M 4d
Can't stop

These trauma-based nightmares

So I'll drop

Going down these endless stairs

To

           f
a
            l
l

To my doom

Locked in an empty room

Alone to my thoughts

While slowly it rots

From the inside-out.


R e p l a y i n g

Over and over

Again and again

Never to leave me be

Reminding me

Reopening old wounds - well I threw over a cover

Flashbacks going over in my mind and then

It stops

When Love walks in

Putting my mind at rest

But back to chaos

When I sleep

And in my head I weep

Like a test

Of

My

S a n i t y


- Jay M
January 14th, 2020
I keep having nightmares about....the past. Luckily they go away when I'm with my love, but when I go to sleep at night they come back to haunt me.
4d · 29
Nights Of Wonder
Jay M 4d
Night; such beauty, so serene, and a bringer of slumber to some, whilst to others; awakening. Her endless sky, stretched out across the vastness above, filled with twinkling starlight in the void that is the darkness. Unto the ground below, casting such wondrous light; her wondrous light. When night finally does fall, I am awakened; never to give in to rest, running wild and free as a great beast, where none shall pay me any mind, nor shall they care what I do or say; a time all to myself, alongside those I chose to share it with, though in most; I am alone. Around me, they slumber; but not I, for I cannot; far too awake, far too alive for sleep, therefore I must not give in, not until I can carry on no longer, having reached my limit; collapsing at last to be encompassed by the land of dreams.

Grassy fields lay before my eager feet; their softest grasses swaying ever so gently, whilst the night inches on, owls hooting overhead, the scents of grass, earth, and feathers filling the air; freedom, indeed this truly is. A night to last for all of eternity, alas all within the span of a few hours, until the next dawn emerges, all to disappear, fading into the next day, surely to bring about new opportunities for all to enjoy; just as the night once had, just for me.

Once more, the night falls; I stand at the waters’ edge, in a long dress of deepest blue flowing gently in the breeze, my puffy brown hair (which resembles a lions mane) somehow tamed, and my eyes turned to the stars above me. Filling my eyes are the shimmering lights of a thousand stars, and filling my mind are a thousand dreams, hope being cast up to each little light, yearning for each little dream to come to pass. A name is called in the wind; I turn away from my dreams and the stars to face yet another dream; a handsome fellow around my height, in a suit of smooth black and white fabric, his chocolate brown hair slightly swept to the side, and his eyes set on me in a dreamy sort of way.

Taking his familiar hand, beneath the light of the pale moon, we take to a gazebo; its wood painted white, slightly chipping away in places, and we dance; not a dance capable of being placed in words aside from these few; spinning me in my dress of blue, making the stars look like little comets spinning about me, then taking me back and dipping me, my hair just barely brushing the wooden platform below my feet. Gazing to the side, there is the water, reflecting those dreamy stars and the vastness of the galaxies above. From one dream to another; looking into different galaxies, seeing into dreams so familiar and wonderful, entranced by the very moment.
This is probably one of my favorite pieces that I've ever written. It's a prose poem, my first time writing one, but it's still one of my favorite poems that I've written.

The first 2 paragraphs are based on my poem "Night", and the last 2 paragraphs aren't really based on anything. Just...writing in the moment. Anyway, I hope I did okay. I'm not really sure if I did that great, but oh well.
Jay M 7d
Creating titles, crafting lyrics
Working out the flow
Of words with occasional rhyme
Needing a pianist
But he's the only one

Hiding the purpose
Asking him to play
Hope to create a piece that flows
Or tell him
Create a masterpiece together
And share it
So, a surprise or a duet

The rest of the songs
To be presented
Writing no wrongs
All segmented
Overall;
Our story

Six pieces
Possibly new releases
For a new artist
Finally, something I shall have accomplished

So many things to do
Leaves dripping with the morning dew
Shadows long
Beneath the treetop
And I sing along
A lyric or two I'll swap
Just fix the flux

This verse needs repair
But as long as I'm with you
I don't care
About a silly verse
Or the color or the hue
In those eyes, I immerse

I hope to join a band
Here I hold your hand
Making you smile
While for you, I go the extra mile

For you
I won't give up
Won't back down
If I have one slip-up
It'll be not capturing you in words
I'm feelin' like such a clown
Messin' around
My feet barely touch the ground
As I fly with you
In the sky so blue.

- Jay M
January 11th, 2020
I'm writing an album for Adam. So far I've started writing a couple of the songs, but it's hard coming up with the lyrics. Maybe I can use this to help me with the lyrics.

I wrote this over 2 days, so it may sound a little sloppy at some parts. Also, I was listening to music while writing most of this, so at some parts it matches the tempo of the music I was listening to. Heh. Anyway, hope it turned out okay.
Jan 10 · 28
Bite The Bullet
Jay M Jan 10
Step after step
Echoing footstep after echoing footstep
I try and I try to do it all right
But it looms over me at such a great height
So I just have to bite
Bite the bullet
Speak the couplet
Then no more

Don't fall
Hit the wall
Not too rough
I'm not that tough
Aching hand
Foreign land
Discover what works
Figure out the quirks
And be free

For now
Bite the bullet
Wondering how
To get through it
But I have a way
Bright as day
Shining like the stars at night
So there's no need to have fright
Right?

Just moving on
Get to a new dawn
Fight on
Before it's all gone

Can't give up now
I'll make it through somehow
There's too many possibilities
I've got my responsibilities
So I'll bite it
Bite the bullet

No matter the pain
There's always something to gain
In the end
No more shall I pretend
Showing my true color
For the sake of my lover

Singing in the rain
My haunting tune
These words in my brain
Under the light of the moon.

- Jay M
January 9th, 2020
My mom told me to bite the bullet. So here goes.
Jan 8 · 66
Catch-up
Jay M Jan 8
Running to and fro
Can't let the stress go
Assignments piled up
Due so soon
All loom over me
My impending doom

Spanish, P.E., Creative Writing,
Journalism, English, Biology
And Finally; Math
These grades I'm fighting
I can't get it done chronologically
Can't stick to one path
Scattered mind
Struggling to find
The answers I seek.

Tell me, how do I survive?
How do I thrive,
In a world where I am behind?

Working to hard,
Keeping it fresh in my mind
Making a flashcard
To help me find
What I left behind
A week and a half ago
Right out the window
Now I need to go back
Through the window
For the information I lack.

- Jay M
January 8th, 2020
I'm so stressed and I can't focus. I have so much work to catch up on from when I was absent.

Wrote this in class to get the tension to ease a little so I can try to get back to work with a fresh mind.
Jan 5 · 33
Children's Hush
Jay M Jan 5
Stolen in the night
Children hushed of fright
Lullaby sung
Bow strung
Arrow nocked and ready
Hands once shaking, now steady

Hush, dear ones
The mortal shuns
What they do not understand
Beatings, mockery, barely able to withstand
What they throw at us
The things they discuss

We are different
Unique, standing out in the crowd
Going against the current
In mystery, we are shroud

Ravens caw
Tales of woe
Mortals gape in awe
Yet that was a time ago
Now they point fingers
And the terror lingers

Hush, children of night
They understand not our plight
So spread your wings
Take flight
Do not accept their rings
Do not be bound to them
It is us they condemn

Show them no mercy
For never did they show any
An age old controversy
Stealing the lives of many
For a pretty penny

Rest now, children of mine
You are safe and sound
Rest those heads of thine
They lay in their caskets in the ground
Worry not my darlings; hush now
Close your eyes, and drift off
They are gone, it matters not how
Just rest now, hush
There is no rush
Hush, children, hush

- Jay M
January 4th, 2020
Inspired by Lullaby of Woe by Ashley Serena.
Dec 2019 · 62
My Archangel
Jay M Dec 2019
So over
All this bad luck
Stuck on repeat
Misfortune is a clumsy duck
Falling, tripping over it's own two feet

Told I'm strong
Told it'll all be okay
But if I were strong
Why must this pain be so long?
Remaining, oh to stay,
Promises, promises,
Too many vows
But each one I shall keep
To stay stronger than stone
On a stage, deep bows,
Miles to go before I sleep
Shivering to the bone
But I am not alone

Awaiting are those who care
Those who dare
To share
Their time with me

Set me free
Running wild
Earth crunching beneath my feet
Nearby, the buzzing of a bee
My, feeling free like a child
Let me run wild
Heart tender and mild
Easily broken
Yet on display
Given a token
A part in the song, you shall play

Sing me a song
Play the melody
Now, it won't be long
"Just one more.", I plea
Another note
Of the song you wrote
Written across the pages
Destined to be on stages

Hold me
When I ask you to leave
For I am testing you
Please, hold me,
When I ask you let me be
For times, I grieve,
But please, do not leave

Seated on my own
Reaching out for you
Take my hand
Make your presence known
I need you
To hold me in the dark
To guide me, be my light
Hold me, darling please,
When the light fades,
Tell me you'll be there with me
Help me be the person I'm supposed to be

There's sometimes when I don't wanna wake up
Don't let me go, don't let me go,
I need backup
To let my colors show, let my colors show

I don't know what will become of me
Help me through the dark
Only you hold the key
Heal every mark
When the light fades
And it's just you and me
Breath in sync
Heartbeat for heartbeat
When the hope begins to fail, sinking deeper,
Somehow I feel your heat
Your light burning in the dark
Saving me, oh you save me,
My hero, my angel
My archangel

- Jay M
December 30th, 2019
I know I've been silent for a while, but I promise I'm doing alright. Things have been...a little hectic lately, but I'm back now. I hope you enjoyed my piece.

~

I listened to this song while writing the second half of this poem, and I can't stop listening to it now. The pianist who did this mashup is amazing, and I'm thankful for this creation.
https://youtu.be/GfRmYdWVagM

~

I might make this poem into a song and add instruments, but I'm not sure yet. If I do end up doing that, I'll edit this and add a link to it.

~

This poem is for my love, Adam. My light in the dark, my archangel. Hope you like it love.
Dec 2019 · 32
Girl At A Window
Jay M Dec 2019
Concealed behind walls of white
Hidden from a world of possibility
Trapped within
Looking out at the wonderful world
Filled with color and light
Whilst I remain hidden behind walls
Looking out through windows
At the world I crave to rejoin
Recovering from my falls
Internal and external
In my head, seated under willows
Emotions and events conjoin
Pacing those plain halls
Jotting my thoughts in a journal
Then shredding them to bits
Taking part in wordless skits
Giving those who love me quite a fright

Apologizing for my mistakes
So many retakes
Replaying that day
Over and over
Imprinted in my brain
There it shall stay
A mental takeover
Red stain
On a white cloth
Eaten away by a silent moth

Crying rivers
In the rain
Crashing down around me
Soothing my shivers
Running down the drain
It leaves me be
For a moment
To arise once more
To be my internal torment
My reflection in the window

How could I forget
The thing I most regret
Nightmare made reality
Never a sense of security
Gripping in the dark
Leaving a mark
In my mind
To remind me what I need to find;
Peace of mind
Through the window.

- Jay M
December 17th, 2019
I took a few too many pills last Tuesday morning, and went to the ER then a mental hospital for 3 days. I'm now doing a php, which is helping.
Dec 2019 · 27
Death's Refusal
Jay M Dec 2019
Prancing about
Heart filled with doubt
Thundering in grandeur
Telling of the past danger
Yet to be unveiled
To the hungry eyes
Of those yet to prevail

Out in bewailment come the cries
Of those pending their demise
Alas, it refuses them
Casting them aside
Going along for the ride
Stride by stride
Paths yet to collide

Tempting death
Being a flirt
In every breath
Begging to be beneath the dirt
Asleep
Not far from those who weep

Laying down
Faces a frown
Wearing a gown
Flesh pierced by busy bees
Heart rate taller than the trees
Rest dear youth
Tell the truth

Tired eyes
Barely open
Many cries
Many reasons
Like seasons

Waiting
Hoping
For a hero to arrive
Arms to embrace
While the heart runs a race
This is so hard to face

Reality stings
Like a knife
But gives wings
For life
A chance
To prance
With purpose
And clarity
Of the possibility
That lies ahead

- Jay M
December 17th, 2019
I have a lot of explaining to do...
Dec 2019 · 63
Identify
Jay M Dec 2019
How
In this world of trillions
Am I to identify
One such as myself?

Am I an old soul
Or just a tad odd?
Am I as small as I see myself
Or am I stronger,
Stronger than I believe myself to be?

What can I be?
How am I to do such a simple task
As to identify myself
When I see myself as something
So different
Than what others see me as?

Do I simply have no place
To roam this earth
With such a broad title
As “unknown”?

Or am I something
So bizarre and outlandish
With a title
But 'tis so old
'Twas forgotten?

- Jay M
December 9th, 2019
Just thinking..
Dec 2019 · 139
Supposed To Be
Jay M Dec 2019
I was supposed to be
6 months sober
But ***** that
Just another sip
Burn my mouth
Burn my throat
Make me feel okay
Just for a little while

A poison
So bitter
Making me feel
So sweet

Allowing for a temporary escape
From all of my pain
Just for a little while
Letting me smile
Though it wasn't true
It felt true
The poison making me
Believe
I was happy
Just for
A little while

Good emotions
Not a care in the world
Just swaying
Singing a song
Laughing at nothing
Everything funny
For no reason at all

I let go
For a little while
Let myself be tempted
Grab it
Be poisoned
Intoxicated

But
I'm not supposed to be

I'm supposed to be
Okay
Without
The **** poison
But it's hard
So **** hard
To be okay
When hell
Is in your head
Devouring your skull
But the demons never feeling full

I said ***** it
But the ***** is in my head
Giving me a headache
Pulsing
Thinking
Then regretting
Guilt
For what I've done
The promise I broke
Leaving behind what I was supposed to be;
Sober.

- Jay M
December 3rd, 2019
Drinking...it's fun while it lasts, but kicks you in the a*s when you sober up.
I'm sorry...
Nov 2019 · 89
Killer Table
Jay M Nov 2019
Four seated
In a pizza place
Sharing a pizza
Cheesy and delicious
New York style
Talk between bites

Reaching for the Parmesan
The table slides
Hits one of them
Right in the gut

Pizza drops
Back on the paper plate
Grease splattering
Eyes wide
Heads turn
Bodies shift in their seats
To see the sound
Strange noise
From the little table
Table of four

Laughing it off
All things resume
They continue to eat
That greasy, cheesy pizza

Talk of life
Current events
Bites of pizza
Two slices left
Split and taken
Being eaten
When...

Slide
The table
So killer
Slides to one
Hitting their gut
Making them grunt

Pizza drops
Heads turn
Bodies shift
Movement from all about
The pizza place
Eyes fall upon them

Laughter
Then the table is fixed
Repositioned
Then the pizza
Cheesy and greasy
Is devoured
Talk goes on
All resumes

After a time
The four leave
Cleaning up their trash
And leaving behind
That killer table.

- Jay M
November 28th, 2019
My mom, sister, my friend Cadence and I went to Bronx pizza the other night for dinner. The table slid to our guts twice, and we made a joke about "the killer table". So, I said I'd write a poem about it. Here it is. :)
Nov 2019 · 81
Small Things
Jay M Nov 2019
A wing
Carved of wood
An inch in length
Painted black
With red and blue details
Swirls and dots

Bought at a beach
From a street vendor
Selling hand-carved trinkets
Bought by her parents
When they were together
Before their child knew of their disagreements
Before chaos entered

The last good thing
Embedded in that little trinket
That little wooden Pegasus

The child decides
Then places it in a box
Upon a soft blue cloth
The box; black with fern patterns

"This,"
Decided the child,
"Shall go to the best thing in my life."
So
She prepared the gift
For her love

Meeting with him
Talking, spending time,
Then him having to return home
Seeing the child in a few days
Forgot the gift with the child
The child promising to bring it with her to him

Leaving it where she would remember
The child goes to carry out her day
Forgetting it
Until she looked out her window
Seeing the remains of the gift scattered
Shredded outside her window
In pieces in her backyard
Her dog standing over them
Wagging his tail

Shock and disbelieving
The child runs out to the remains
Trembling as she picked up the pieces
Relieved at finding the gift itself intact
The only thing ruined being the box
Once so beautiful
Now ugly shreds

Returning indoors
The little wooden pegasus wing in hand
She wept, her tears falling to the floor
For the last good from her childhood
Was almost ripped away from her

This last good
She wished to give to her love
As a symbol of trust and unity
To show her affection
Yet
It was so close
So nearly stripped from her
Almost swallowed by the jaws of a mut

- Jay M
November 23rd, 2019
This is true...I have no more words than those you see above...
Nov 2019 · 269
Stress Test
Jay M Nov 2019
As I sit in this classroom

Listening to keys clattering

Pencils clicking

Feet tapping

Pages flipping

Shuffling feet

Creaking seat

Faint ac, or is that the heater?

Such is unknown to me

For it is all overwhelming

Things so small

Yet so impacting.



Then, from outside

Chatter of children

Wind whispering my very name

Calling me to the freedom of the outdoors

A plane overhead

Announcing its presence

Clicking of a mouse

A pencil dropping

People adjusting in their seats

Drinking water

Back to work

The tap of a foot

The shuffle of paper

Pages turning

Legs shifting positions

Another plane overhead

And all the while,

Here I wonder,

While pages are turning;

What am I learning?



- Jay M
November 22nd, 2019
Never can I focus during a test - unless 'tis on the surrounding sounds.
Nov 2019 · 145
Perspective of Ghosts
Jay M Nov 2019
My Perspective

Ghosts;
There are many kinds
Those that appear in images and audio
And those that appear in our minds
That haunt us to our cores
Plaguing us
With flashbacks, fears, insecurities
Issues with trust, issues with companionship;
Whatever it may be
These ghosts never leave us be
Not a moment to rest
And when they give us that moment
It disappears in an instant
Vanishing as soon as it had come
Not to be seen for a time yet.

~

My Mother's Perspective

An entity that may or may not exist
A shadow, or a lingering spirit
Such has been debated for ages
Yet, the question is; what do I believe?
There could be such
The soul of a person lingering in a place of importance
Trapped in a memory they had
Possibly keeping people away
Possibly inviting them to stay
Such is unclarified
Unverified
Left for us to be believers,
Or skeptics.

~

My Sister's Perspective

Yes, they are all around us!
Dreams so wondrous,
Nightmares of the dangerous,
Hidden in photos
Detected in sound
Things move when nobody is around
Keys turning
Spirits yearning
For communication
Destination
Freedom from repetition
Or just a friendly hello
A familiar song on the cello.


- Jay M
November 21st, 2019
I wrote each one in a different perspective of the topic of ghosts. The two that are from my mom and sister's perspective are what I believe their take on the subject is based on what they have told me they believe.
Nov 2019 · 242
Calm
Jay M Nov 2019
Hidden in fabrics
                                                                            Concealed beneath a mask
Taking shelter in music
                                                                                 Letting the lyrics soothe
Calm the frenzy of thoughts
                                                                                   Ease the internal storm


- Jay M
November 18th, 2019
Nov 2019 · 134
Bleeding November
Jay M Nov 2019
Bleeding November
Cannot remember
What happened
Hands blackened
By October paint
Then I faint
For it remembers not why

Still, it is shy
A small, weakened cry
Bursting into the night
O what a fright
Taking grand flight

Interesting confusion
A mild intrusion
Seeping into the mind
Creeping up behind

Then

Boo!
Shoo,
Foul beast!
Let us feast,
In peace!

- Jay M
November 12th, 2019
Just playful word use. Made to be used in class as part of my portfolio.
Nov 2019 · 66
Desire To Unravel
Jay M Nov 2019
Reprimanded by blood
Such words stung like a blade
Embedded in my mind
Tearing me to pieces
Falling away
To a great depths

Desiring so badly
To take a sip
Of the escaping nectar
Alas
Having vowed to never do so again
Not doing so in reality
But in my mind
To be drunk in my mind
Sharing such desires to a trusted one
Speech of this thing
Terrible for doing so

What a way to live
Allowing myself to imagine such
Become so monstrous
To a point
Where I am able to sink so low
To return to zero
No longer behind a mask
Yet still in part

Internally
Crying out rivers
Seas of emotion so strong
The power of a tempest
Rocking me
Tossing me
Between the waves
Relentlessly
Unforgiving

Aching in my chest
Somewhere in my center
A placed called the heart
I presume

Consuming me
Is this pain
Threatening to control
Command
Yet
Here I am
Ordering myself
Fighting against this
This demon and the rest of them
In my head
Barely able to survive

- Jay M
November 10th, 2019
In my 5th month sober, but it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought...
I'm so tempted...but I resist. Life makes me tempted. **** family...
All I have is my friends and my love...and only some of my friends at that.
Someone betrayed me...not sure who. Doesn't matter. Just have to keep sober. Keep sober.
Nov 2019 · 172
Mentor
Jay M Nov 2019
Student
Racing about
Scattered here and there
Learning all it can
Then, somehow
Reading a work
So inspiring
A true keeper of knowledge
Hidden among them

Seeking improvement
Of works and self
But so occupied
Barely time for such
In a hurricane of stress
Pressure and emotion
Far beyond itself
The student tried
A deed so selfish
Then reflected
A work resembling the moment
Easing themselves in part
That it was released
But horrified
Of what could have been

Looking up
To their mentor
A keeper of knowledge
Held in high respects
But when seen
At the weakest
Cast away
As one of millions
But the student
Wished
Yearned
To be more than one of millions
Pleading to be taught
To be made an apprentice
Alas
No more
No more

- Jay M
November 6th, 2019
Nov 2019 · 208
Surviving
Jay M Nov 2019
The hardest thing of all
Is being enough
For yourself

Living
When all you wish to do
Is perish

Yet

There are things to live for
Love
Friends
Some family

But in the moment
The only thing is love
But that is even hazed over
In that moment of weakness
Taking too many
Seated on the cold wooden floor
Clutching a stuffed animal
In a closet
Tears streaming down
Nothing seems real

Next dawn
Dizzy, lightheaded, weak
Finally kicking in
Overwhelming regret and guilt

Trembling as I lay
Wrapped in the blankets
Soft like a kittens fur
Invisible tears streamed down
Cascading to the pool of emotions
I was drowning in

After time
Finally
Gaining the courage to talk
To a friend
Trusted
Explaining
Understood
Swearing never to repeat that cursed day

But
Still
I must tell my love
What to say?
What to do?
Oh the ache
The sorrow
Never do I wish to hurt him
Yet
This shall...
Still
I must be honest

Coping is a challenge
One I have yet to master
But one day
I shall tame the demons within
Look up to the sky
Breathe and say;
"I'm alive."

- Jay M
November 6th, 2019
I'm alright. Recovering.
Nov 2019 · 161
Quote
Jay M Nov 2019
"We are not our thoughts -- we're the people listening to them."
No idea who said this, but it's a very true, meaningful, and powerful quote.
Nov 2019 · 94
All Saints Day
Jay M Nov 2019
Shining brightly in the night
In the corners of our minds
Dancing with the dead
Wherever that may be
If there at all
But still you do
Smiling down from the heavens
Passing on your good wisdom
Then walking back among the living
Just for two days
One just for you
The other for the rest
But still you do roam
Lingering to say
Your greetings and farewells
Then ascending
Back to that magical place
Dreamland

- Jay M
November 1st, 2019
Today is the first day of the dead; All Saints Day.
Oct 2019 · 29
Zoning
Jay M Oct 2019
Stuck
In a classroom full of children
The numbness shall win

My mind a haze
My hands with a will of their own
Lost someplace
Far away
Then
Return to the realm of the body
Concern as to what has happened
Peers question
Yet I have no answer
For I am still searching for one

Run, run, run
Over and over upon the parchment
Run, run, run
Scrawled across my math paper
Overlapping letters
Unreadable
A scribble

Tell me
What has become of me?
Going on for 2 years
Rising when I least expect
Taking control
Throwing me out
Now feeling as though 'twere not my own
Save me from the void of sensation in my fingertips
Bring me back so I may feel
Anything but empty and pain

- Jay M
I was brought out of zoning by my friend, and my table-mates were all concerned. They told me I had been zoning for about 10 minutes, and I was shocked. They asked me if I was okay, and I said I was fine and it was nothing. They told me that was bull... The teacher distracted them, and we all returned to work. When I did so, I realized on my paper it said the word "run" over and over, letters overlapping. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but oh well. I'll just return to my work, and think nothing more of it.
Oct 2019 · 105
Love Lyric
Jay M Oct 2019
Sitting alone
To my own thoughts
One topic
Becomes thousands
Fluxing about
At the speed of sound
Memories flashing
An aching in my chest
A gripped, compressed heart

A light
Dwindling
Scarcely able to survive
Running out of oxygen
Flickering in and out
I walked on a tightrope
Then
I saw another
A creature of beauty and grace
Running across their own
Then tripping
Swinging to fall,
But their feet remaining on the rope

Awestruck, I attempted to speak
Finding myself unable to utter a word
A bird unable to use its beak
Then
Discovering a voice existed
I used it
Reached out
Made a friend
In time
A partner

Soon, I realized I was able to run across
Just as they had
Able to soar
Fall for a moment
But come back
Somehow still upon my weary feet
But given new strength and determination
A motivation
Thanks to my love

Heart beating at the speed of a jackrabbit
Cheeks the pigment of roses
Soul tied to the other end of a red thread
Feeling something so familiar
Possibly meant to be

His hair is
November tree bark
The tree I sit under
My mask thrown asunder
My true colors show brighter
As he takes me in his arms
Branches of a strong oak
Leaves softer than a kittens fur
Voice like that of a divine
Spilling symphonies into my ear
Still I sit here
With all I hold dear
Awaiting for time to pass
And for him to be near

There
Before my eyes
My memories dance
Take me into a trance
A vision of rapture
O what ecstasy
Moments of roses
Moonbeams pirouetting
Orchestra playing
Just for two
Under the full moon
Stars glistening in their wonder

A butterfly fluttering in my heart
The zoo escaped in my stomach
Flowers upon my face
Over them is lace
As I am in your sweet embrace

- Jay M
October 31st, 2019
I was told to write a lyric poem in my creative writing class, so I wrote one about you love. <3
Oct 2019 · 145
Staying Afloat
Jay M Oct 2019
Struggling
To stay afloat
In the rapids
Waves crashing down upon the skull
A second above
The next below
Then plunged farther from the surface
Unable to breathe
But there is no pain
Just void
Then an aching
Internal dying
Yearning for the pain
Then, there it is
Water-filled lungs
Brain on fire
Tainted soul

Seeing others above
Emotions fester
Then, a confession
Double confession
Realization
Relief, shock, and overwhelming joy
Then a clasp of hands
Being pulled up
Head breaking the surface
Above the rapids
To calmer waters
Where one can breathe
Where we can breathe
Together
Aid each other
Build a raft
To stay afloat
Sometimes it flips
Sometimes there are moments
When water enters the lungs
Darkness fills the mind
But then
A hand
Takes one up
To the sun

Revived by the one who loves you
The one you love
Embrace
Clasp of hands
The one who saved you
From falling away
With the shadows
Patching the bullet holes
Bandaging the battle wounds
Healing for both

- Jay M
October 29th, 2019
Love, whenever you read this, I want you to know;

You are my hero. You helped me to keep going, keep fighting, and gave me someone to talk to. Someone to trust. Then, as time went, I fell for you. I was under an oath to never be with anyone after what happened with my previous, but a friend convinced me to tear away from that and take a chance. So I did. I opened my heart to you, and you opened yours to mine. So delicate and small, that one in a million chance - but there it was.

You took me into your arms, and I actually thought past next week. I began to think about having a life. A job, an apartment, - ....and possibly our future. When I told you, I expected laughter. Expected to be called foolish. To my surprise, you didn't call me such things - you shared my thoughts. What could be. Even daring to tell me you would look forward to it... The truth is, I can see that happening.

When I told you I would never leave you unless you told me to, I didn't expect anything but a smile. Darling, you never cease to surprise me. You told me you would never leave me. That makes my heart flutter, my mind a beach with a shining sun, and my soul dancing on a pavilion in the moonlight.

What I'm trying to say is; thank you, and I love you.
Oct 2019 · 62
Innocence
Jay M Oct 2019
Innocence
So small, so pure
Tender and mature,
Yet somehow
Lacking

Innocence
A child at heart
From others, so far apart
Unaware of the placement of words
Giving an entirely separate meaning

Innocence
So small, so pure
Mind secure
Despite attempts to tamper
With the delicate camper
In a woods of magic

Innocence
A child at heart
Ready to play the part
Yet, is it true
Through this hazy view?

Innocence
So scarce in these times
Foolish with these rhymes
Interpreted and tainted
But unaware of such
Picture painted
A gentle touch
On the shoulder
Whisper of explaining
Drop of a boulder…

- Jay M
October 28th, 2019
I was telling my friend about a kiss, and they thought I meant something else entirely. The minds of people these days are in the gutter.
Oct 2019 · 408
Moment of Roses
Jay M Oct 2019
Waiting
For the right moment
Just you and I
Looking left & right

Then,
Words so simple,
Just to be certain
That our minds were in sync;
"Would it be okay with you..?"
"Yeah.."

Crescent moons upon the horizons
Then embrace
A kiss
Flowers bloom
Softest petals
For only a moment
Then it's over
Roses upon our faces.

- Jay M
October 24th, 2019
We kissed when nobody was looking, and...it was magical. Never have I been so in love, so happy, and so understood.

*I did a bit of editing. It seemed like it needed it.
Oct 2019 · 226
Rain
Jay M Oct 2019
Rain
Pour down upon me
Fill my nose with your scent
My eyes with your cascading droplets
My ears with your pitter-patter
My hands filling to become small pools
My mouth with your refreshing and cool take-over

Calm me
Then release me
Make me wild
Laughter erupting from deep within
Fondness

O, what a wonder!
O, what a blissful time!

Bring me life
Make me anew

- Jay M
October 22nd, 2019
Oct 2019 · 690
Family Of Soul
Jay M Oct 2019
Take me away
Far away
To a land of wonder

Soon, I beg,
Soon, I plea,
Lift me up
Dear family...

Hated by the blood,
I know,
But family of soul
Please don't let me go...

- Jay M
October 21st, 2019
Oct 2019 · 47
My Lucky Star
Jay M Oct 2019
Wonderful
That's what you are
So beautiful.
A bright, shining star
I see you in the night sky
What I say is no lie

Smile,
Ocean blue
Greater than the vastness
Enveloping me

Take me, O night,
Star shining bright
Be my light
In the darkness

- Jay M
September 23rd, 2019
Oct 2019 · 81
The Last Time
Jay M Oct 2019
Rising in the morning
Curtain swaying
By & by
Then he's saying,

"Yeah, I know today's gonna
Be a little hard,
But you can make it through.
You can make it through."

Sitting 'round noon now
And he sees her goin'
By & by
Then he's saying,

"Yeah, I know today's gonna
Be a little hard,
But you can make it through.
You can make it through."

- Jay M
September 17th, 2019
Oct 2019 · 88
Just A Moment
Jay M Oct 2019
Yearning
Tempted so
Just a drop
A little hint
A moment to flee these things
Colliding in my mind
Leaving nothing untouched

Just a second
Just a time
For one such as I
To unwind
To come clean
Then all that hear
To forget
And just love
Despite ones failure
Despite ones mistakes
Despite ones awful thoughts
To understand
To empathize
With open-mindedness
And acceptance
Beyond what can be placed into words

One slip up
One mistake
Remembered
But there are one too many
Overtaking the brain
Spewing rage from each
Onto the cause
Making all worse
Slowly killing one
Until it is no more.

- Jay M
October 8th, 2019
Oct 2019 · 224
Fireflies In A Jar
Jay M Oct 2019
Fireflies in a jar
Covered in mountains of scarves
Darkened, but not out
Still it shines
Despite not being seen
Deep within the cocoon of fabrics
Soft as a kittens fur
To rough as canvas sacks
All contain the light
Hiding it
Sheltering it from the outside world.

- Jay M
October 8th, 2019
Oct 2019 · 113
Things I Cannot Believe
Jay M Oct 2019
Things I cannot believe
My idiocy
Things I shall never achieve
O, my idiocy
Things I shall never know
O, my idiocy…

Hatred and anger
Burning flames
Things I wish not to remember
Yet never
Never will I forget…

Who am I?
I am no one
An idiot of course
A fool, so naive
A child indeed
Unorganized, I am doomed
This curse, I assumed
Would leave me, but never…

Shall I ever be released?
O never, o never,
Shall I ever be set free?
O no, o never,
Shall I see the light of day…

Do you see me?
Do you hear me?
The sorrow and woe
The sorrow and woe…

If they ever saw me
For me
Would they leave me?
Or would they feel me?
Would they lift me up,
Above the clouds,
Where they flux so freely
As a bird in flight
Across the vastness
That is my mind

Do you hear me?
Do you see me?
No, o never,
Never it goes…

O, if you could see it
O, if you could hear it
The broken melody,
The bleeding heart,
The depths it reaches to…

O never, o never,
Shall I forgive myself
O never, o never
Shall I forgive myself…

- Jay M
October 8th, 2019
Oct 2019 · 84
Wonderful Trip
Jay M Oct 2019
Trip into a new world
Just
Trip yourself
Into a new world
A wonderful place
When your days are dark.
Just a wonderful place!
Trip yourself
Into a wonderful
Wonderful escape!

Running in the rain
Just trip into the portal
Appear where you are loved
Oh, yeah, just don't leave it open...
Don't leave it open...

It might leak...

But hey!
Just trip into a new world!
Trip
Yourself
Into a new world
Where you are loved
Where you are held
Where you can love
And nobody hates you...
Just trip!
Just wonder...
Just wonder...
But don't leave it open...
Or reality will spill...

- Jay M
October 3rd, 2019
I tripped over my own foot, and a friend caught me. Sometimes, when you trip you don't necessarily fall.
Sep 2019 · 688
Wake The Hell Up
Jay M Sep 2019
Dawn breaks
Eyelids struggle
Coffee smell
Awful but awakening
Slightly
So
Decisions made in seconds

Sometimes
You have to go through a little hell
To wake the hell up

Shake off the dream
Dance into the waking world
Twirl me around
Like a ribbon in the hands of a dancer
Spiraling towards nothing
Yet going somewhere of significance

Make me laugh
Make me smile
Make me move for a while
Just please keep me awake

Sometimes
You have to go through a little hell
To wake the hell up

So
Wake the hell up!
Jump out of your skin!
Let the dreams go!
Wake the hell up!

Shake off the dream
Dance into the waking world
Twirl me around
Like a ribbon in the hands of a dancer
Spiraling towards nothing
Yet going somewhere of significance

Sometimes
You have to go through a little hell
To wake the hell up

So…
Wake the hell up!
Jump out of your skin!
Let the dreams go!
Wake the hell up!

I’m outta control!
Just let it roll!
Oh, wake me up now!
Woah…

Spiraling somewhere
Falling around
Dancing like never before
Keep me awake
Make me laugh
But just don’t let me sleep!

So
Wake the hell up!
Jump out of your skin!
Let the dreams go!
Wake the hell up!

Wake the hell up!

- Jay M
September 26th, 2019
I'm tired as hell, so this is to wake me the hell up.
It's about me pumping my leg to keep myself awake, then my friends making me laugh which wakes me up. Then I decided to just make myself laugh to stay awake. As some say, laughter is the best medicine.
Sep 2019 · 114
Misfit
Jay M Sep 2019
A shrew among the mice
A salamander among the lizards
Something so small
Yet so different
Hiding among them

People walk past
Not noticing the little creature
Walking among them
Almost trampled
Dodging the pillars of flesh and bone
Covering itself in strange fabrics
Silk, cotton, polyester,
Stripes, polkadots, plad,
Tassels, ribbons,
Until only they are visible
And at long last,
It is seen.
But, not for what it truly is

A coqui among the bullfrogs
A turtle among the tortoises
Almost unnoticed…

But then
A thread is pulled
The fabric unwinds
A small, unusual creature is revealed
Far, far beneath the textiles;
A misfit

- Jay M
September 23rd, 2019
Sep 2019 · 228
Ghost Child
Jay M Sep 2019
Living like a ghost
Walking by all I know
Hiding from everyone
Denying I need anyone
To walk alongside

Night falls
Darkness reins
Emotions overcome
Control the individual
Curled into a corner
Embracing a comfort
An object from childhood
Absorbing rivers

Still, child cries
Still, child hides
And still
The heart dies.

- Jay M
September 25th, 2019
Sep 2019 · 31
Ghost Cats
Jay M Sep 2019
On this day
My minds drifts
Like the cold snow
Beneath my feet
The earth below
Stricken by the elements
A test of body and soul
To the extremes

Days come and go
But moments
Stay within the mind
Forever in the soul
To rest and burn
Like the warmth given
By all surrounding
In eternal rest and relaxation

- Jay M
September 24th, 2019
Sep 2019 · 128
Armor
Jay M Sep 2019
Heaviest armor
Made of steel
I was a farmer
Of what I thought was real
Sometimes
The war wounds don’t heal the same…

Upon a steed
Swift and strong
I swear
I won’t be long
Riding in
Shield and sword
My armor isn’t thin
And I hear the silver chord…

Clashing blades
Screaming wildly
The charade is up
It’s all going up
In fire and smoke
And they’ll croak
For mercy, mild
Oh no, not from this child
No more!

This is war!

Upon a steed
Swift and strong
I swear
I won’t be long
Riding in
Shield and sword
My armor isn’t thin
And I hear the silver chord…

Plowing through
The days gone by
Hiding out
I dream of you
In the minutes I try

Up again
They’re battle torn
Slain by my sword
Horror is born

This is war!

Clashing blades
Screaming wildly
The charade is up
It’s all going up
In fire and smoke
And they’ll croak
For mercy, mild
Oh no, not from this child
No more!

This is war!

Calling out
Friend gone down
Filled with doubt
I go around
I hold them close…
I hold them close…

They look to me
Tears in their eyes
Gripping my hand
I hold it tight
“Please,”
I scream,
“Don’t go to the light!”
I hold them close…

Pounding heart
Sinks in
Lose their grip…
They’ve gone…
Tears in my eyes
I stand tall
Cradle them in my arms
And I scream;
“THIS IS WAR!!!”

Lay them down
I bow my head
Close their eyes
Shelter them…
Then I run

This is war!

Clashing blades
Screaming wildly
The charade is up
It’s all going up
In fire and smoke
And they’ll croak
For mercy, mild
Oh no, not from this child
No more!
No more!

Rage coursing through my veins
It takes control
I mount again, take the reins
Flames in my soul
There’s no way
I’m going down!

This is war…
This is war!

Upon a steed
Swift and strong
I swear
I won’t be long
Riding in
Shield and sword
My armor isn’t thin
And I hear the silver chord…
They fell around me
I thought I won
But then, it was he
Who struck me down
Drove it through
My armor…
It wasn’t strong at all…

And I fell
And I fell
And I fell…

On the field
There I lay
Sword and shield
Thrown astray
And I…
Was so naive…
As the light faded from view…
All I thought of…
Was you.

- Jay M
September 19th, 2019
Sep 2019 · 329
Differences
Jay M Sep 2019
He's got the sweetest eyes
Chocolate brown hair
Sweetest little smile
That lasts a while

I've got sad eyes
Brown hair
Weird little smile
That easily slips away...

Is it too much to ask
To just be thought of?
To feel the fondness
In return?
I guess the problem is;
I'm not the girl
Anyone would dream of.

- Jay M
September 18th, 2019
Sep 2019 · 204
Beautiful Burning
Jay M Sep 2019
A wonderful person
Walking along the boulevard
Their hair flowing in the breeze
Gentle and silken
Burning brightly
A wonderful light

Then

Along the way
They see a figure
A child
In the street corner
In the dark
Lost
So
They burn themselves
To give their light
To the one in the dark
So that they may have a light
And carry on

- Jay M
September 13, 2019
Inspired by the following quote:
"Good people are like candles; They burn themselves up to give others light."
I'm not sure who the quote is from, but I love the quote. It is so true, on so many levels.
Sep 2019 · 114
Dance of Discord
Jay M Sep 2019
All are dancing slowly
This masquerade
A gala
Yet
All is in great discord
Among the orchestra
One is out of tune
Yet
None seem to care
To hear the broken melody
See the chip in the stone

Cover it up
With a little paint
None shall tell
Besides the meek little pup
Soon it shall faint
One shall yell
While the rest
Ring, ring, ring the bell
Dancing in discord
To the broken melody

Pulling out a flask
‘Neath the rows
Folk chatter and ask,
“Isn’t something off?”
While the other throws,
“Neigh!” then one does quaff

Shine a light
Alone the floor
Hold one tight
For one shall sing no more
Grasp it
So one may not fall
That she would not permit
Not a’tall

Sing, sober dream
Whisper your whims
Through a beam
On a limb
The lullaby
Child doth cry
Sing, sober dream
Sing, sing,
For ‘tall must end
One day.

- Jay M
September 12th, 2019
Sep 2019 · 240
After The Heartbreak
Jay M Sep 2019
The sun
Used to shine so
Brightly
But now
All is dim.

Have you ever seen
The sun
After the heartbreak?
Or after the word
Goodbye?

Darkness surrounding
Stealing all color
O, after the heartbreak
The world goes cold...

- Jay M
September 12th, 2019
I was just thinking about things.
Sep 2019 · 45
Wanderers Lament
Jay M Sep 2019
Whispering through a window
A specter in the cemetery
Basking in the pale moon lit dreary
Wisping silken clothes
The blood yet flows
The air of dimly dew
Single crow then flew
O'er the rosemary bush
The wraith say shush
Not to disturb
For which you may perturb

That ghastly ghoul
O what a fool!
To disturb that
Which you may perturb!
Casting it out
Like water from a spout
Gone away
No longer shall it stay.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2019
Jay M Sep 2019
Some sepulchre, remote, alone,
Against whose portal she hath thrown,
In childhood, many an idle stone-
Some tomb from out whose sounding door
She ne'er shall force an echo more,
Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
It was the dead who groaned within.

- Edgar Allen Poe
This small piece was taken from "The Sleeper" by Edgar Allan Poe. I wish for this to be on my tomb stone, whenever that shall be done.
Sep 2019 · 138
Camisado (Truth)
Jay M Sep 2019
Wind whistling
Storm raging
Running through the night

Prowling through the dense grasses
Guns loaded
Cocked and ready to fire
In position
Awaiting the command to fire

A camisado
Bursting into the night
Bullets a cascade
Shells raining down
Crying out into vastness

When all is over and lost
Daylight ends
All turns back
To the time of chaos

Running and screaming
One is numb
Walking when all else havoc
Lost in the madness
Crawling across the ground
Into hiding
Then
Pounding of a skull
Over and over
Yet
There is no marks
Only pain

After the battle
After the war
The private battle scars
Salty rivers flow
Carving canyons
Which soon fade
Back to plains
Found and coaxed out
Wrapped in warmth
Fed comfort
Yet
Internally
It is rejected

Information
Flowing in
A holding of the hand
A little fragile
O the one
Trying to go down
Found and halted
Escaping
Captured and taken
Gone away

Time later
Still haunting
Flashbacks
Festering and consuming
Until nothing is left
But the vastness.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2019
This is my camisado...my personal battle. This is what once was..

*Occasional Verse
Sep 2019 · 45
Coming?
Jay M Sep 2019
With hopes risen
So high
They'll find a way
Your heart will bleed

Though not much
To him
For me it was
My chance to prove
My intentions to
The one I care for.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2019
Sep 2019 · 100
Mí Amor
Jay M Sep 2019
Mí amor
Es guapo
Y artistico
Un chico
Muy inteligente
Mí amor
Tiene ojos cafè
Cómo la tierra
Magnifico
Te amo
Mí amor...

- Jay M
September 4th, 2019
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