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1.8k · Jul 2018
Bad dream in reality
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
I dreamt that they all left me in a dark night,
Tears were crawling down my cheeks,
Cold was freezing up my heart,
Wind was flying my thoughts in circles infront of my swollen watery  eyes ,
I thought happiness was finally lingered in my life,
I found out that it was waning once more,
Waving from behind those bushy trees,
I heard my peace starting to rumble,
I felt my eyes going lifeless,
I dash for happiness,
Like an addict who scurries to be drugged,
Turned out that it doesn’t always have to be in the same shape,
So places,people and old routines can’t make the pills,
for the ingredients always change.
888 · Aug 2018
Hollow heart
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
My heart is haunted with hideous hollowness ;
Dimmed from being desolated or
shall I say...alone,
Love doesn’t know how to linger inside,
It only sprints in-front of my eyes,
Friends and fellows are far from sight,
I solemnly smile and try not to hide,
Swooshing of waves can be
heard from a seashell,
Stashing of my lively soul can be
heard from beyond my voice,
Revive,revive,oh roaming heart...
May the mending happen ,may you do your part.
480 · Jun 2018
Dear future love
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
You know I go to places,
Ones in my mind
Where i feel free
If you could walk with me ,
I'll take you on a trip
But pardon me for some mess
For my mind have the audacity
To ask questions that have no answers
But it sometimes stops the guess
.
Take me away for a while
Show me wanders
I'll hear the songs....if you write
Let me ponder
Talk to me about your thoughts,
I'll tell you my own
I'll tell that I'm not much of a poet,
But I melt for the  Shakespearean sonnets.
.
I hope our colors bind,
Violet is splashed in my soul
maybe your blue would be fine
Like the sea
You see
I write about it in all my poems.
.
If I got to meet you
Future love
I'll write ,
Asking the stars for some space for my words
Asking the sunset for some shades
.
If you let your eyes talk,
May I find my lost pieces
In your unspoken words
May you prove wrong my doubts
Those insecurities towards love
May you show me that a pearl can still shine among the dust.
.
Show me that care is not all roses
Show me that love can outweigh all causes
Bring back my trust in originality
Show me that among that mess in reality,
There still exists a real mind
A pure soul
Let me believe in love
Without lies .
445 · Jul 2018
Life plans?
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
My hands tremble with fear
When I’m asked “what are your future plans”
But I manage not to ramble,
They can tell I’m a success

Guiltily speaking, I lie
Humbly speaking, I’m lost
Confusingly enough, I wander
Frankly speaking, it’s intriguing

I hope my life won’t deviate
Towards the boring track
I hope I always get
The space to fill my lungs
With peace,contentment , and lively air
I honestly don’t know where I wanna go ,
Or what I wanna do with my life
Does anyone know already?
431 · Jul 2018
My phone dies
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
My phone connection dies
And I’m fine,
It’s just that;

Heart empty like my purse
The Talks ended before they start
All I feel is being bleak
Living in my dreary heart

I question if I need more connections,
But who’ll reply

Here’s the dear neighbors moving out,
Here’s two more friends,
They’re fun if they’re found,
Here’s my empty inbox,
I didn’t care to fix my phone

I seem to be drenched in water mixed with powder of invisibility enough to make me disappear
From all sights and potential friendships

And so It doesn’t matter if I fix my phone,
I’ll be writing,reading or playing some notes,
I’ll talk a little and hear my breath,
There’s normally one seat ,
That I need to get.
Lonley
416 · Aug 2018
Passion
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
A shine as true as the stars,
Sparked in their eyes,
Heart beats strikes and echoes,
To as far as they will to dream,
Their voices turned to melodies,
Melodies of a gripping scene,
Their feet took them to places,
Places they’ve never seen,
All along they see it clear,
Wide awake or deep asleep,
Belief lingers despite the storms,
Serenity is devoted to their hearts,
Revival of ushering passion,
Dreamers with lively souls,
Will always inspire tracks,
Run,walk,or crawl,
Just keep the passion lit and safe.
390 · Aug 2018
Seventies
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
Have you ever been in the early seventies?
Have you heard the melodies
Have you felt the style
Of love songs or even rock
Have you seen the houses
Calm lights and wooden tables

I guess love back then,felt different
In the cafés that play jazz
And streets crowded with trees
Or just a few benches by the sea
Extremely Seldom beeps

When elegance was still a trend
When movies didn’t have much quality
But an impact was always left

Friends were not virtual
Outings were not for photos
Cards were played for long nights
Walks were not interrupted by texts

Have you ever felt that warmth
When you enter a house somehow old
Like the sense of memories is still there
Nostalgic in a soothing way
Hard to explain
Unless you’ve been there
Have you ever been in the early seventies?
344 · Aug 2018
Reality
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
I hate how reality can destroy dreams
I hate how fiction can’t be real
Ask my hopes
Why don’t they shine
******* with ropes
Of risks and fears
Talents became tales
Said in a date talk
Impressed,we are
By someone who dumbed reality
Without further harm
We plan our lives like
It’s an airport
So technical with no artistic design
And our planes rarely fly
276 · Jul 2018
Words
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
Words that we write to confide what we feel,
Words that we write to confide what we fear,
Words that we write to hinder a pain,
Or cherish the smile that is remained ,

Words that we fear to say,
Words that fades the sleep away,
Words that heal and words that hurt,
Words that shine and words that burn,

May the feelings stay safe,
May the thoughts calm down,
For our hearts are woven,
With pure love and good grace.
May we find comfort in what we write.
258 · Jun 2018
Future fear
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
Future fear is such a foe
It clutches your hopes
It rips your confidence
Scratches your smile
With a weird harsh noise
The same way a pencil
Would scratch a chalkboard

It closes the curtains of your eyes
Opens a window of doubts
There is where it stands
It Shoots rocks of what ifs
Breaking your glass heart of hopes

And you stand behind
With it pulling your legs backwards
From life
You stand there
With it painting your mind black
Till you cant get excited
Your mind
Becomes a tv with no signal
Future fear
Is white noise

But you grab your pride
To take the lead
You let your soul loosen up
Humming while it flys
Now listen up
You’ll turn on the lights
To search for your smile
To see
You’ll have it clear
Future fear will never again
Observe you as its home
242 · Aug 2018
One night
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
“What now?”
She asked looking at the starry sky.
“We wait” he replied .
“we wait till a ray of light breaks through this mysteriously soothing darkness , we wait till your eyes go sleepy and you need warmth,maybe then...I’ll give you a blanket and tell
You that I love you,so those sleepy eyes may sparkle and wake up before your anxious consciousness does”
233 · Jun 2018
Wandering dreams
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
Lost dreams flying away,
In the sky of my own,
They glow and shine ,
I try to let them stay

In my mind,
Hope is splashed ,
Worries are sprinkled ,
Although they can hardly bind ,

Goals are painted,
And I may not be a good artist,
So colors may fade,
Outlines may not be clear,
But when I try and look,
These paintings say I’m here.

My soul spreads the vibes,
Vibes of proudness as if it’s true,
When I take a step to a dream,
Reality takes the lead,
And i will no longer have an imagination flue.
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
I send my dreams to the space in a shooting rocket aiming for the stars ,
but afraid of the sun's heat.

Earthy colors gives the life,
Green grass greets my eyes,
Shades of blue sea buy my blues,
In return for dozes of internal beauty.

I send my wishes to the clouds,
Could they be carried not lost or hurt ,
From thunder , lightning or the lame world.

May heavy clouds let the rain down,
Watering the flowers fixed in my heart ,
carrying faith holding tightly despite the fears,
May the heavy clouds become light in weight,
Healing the hurt wishes ,
For a safe ride home.

I send my words to my pen,
Pages Pounding with colors though the ink is black .

I blend with nature made by almighty god ,
To breath in life and then my soul is renewed.
208 · Jul 2018
Downsides of reality
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
Plans handcuff my excitement
An arranged life makes my heart
So lazy

Commitment puts me in a mobile jail
And I walk miles but I can’t see the road
It ***** the looniness from my mind
Making it less humanly

Differences don’t really bother me
Judging surges up the noise
in the courts of my mind
It makes the left side of my brain confused
Error 101 ; logic not found

I like it simple as it may not seem
I know the life i strive for can’t be real

I blame books and stories
I blame the fantasy within them
For tricking my mind and heart
To fall in love with the fictional life
Until reality becomes the cold shower
I don’t want to take
It becomes the forced rule that I must acknowledge to complete
the equation of life

the easy life that flows
Within the pages makes me read
A whole book in a few days
But life passes by just as fast
Except We don’t get the
chance to read it’s pages


Maybe in another world ,
It will be less messy
More comfy
And calmer
Maybe in another world,
It’s not a fantasy
It feels right and true

But For now,
I hope for my mirror to see nothing
But smiles
I hope for my pen to write and write
I hope my fingers play the happy notes
I hope you don’t break my heart
This is for the lost souls, the ones who feel like they don’t belong here, this is to the society which barely leaves people alone to live their own life .
199 · Jun 2018
Mad modern
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
Maybe if I stopped being mad about this modern world ,maybe I’ll find myself then.
195 · Jul 2018
Clumsy heart
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
Wind howled in the lush park,
Sky is grey like my cotton blouse,
Clouds didn’t arrive yet,
They only did in my heart,
The cold rushed into my mind first,
By the windy river I took a walk,
What would it be like if I rode a bike right now, I thought,
It began to rain but my mind doesn’t grow green grass,
I have flowers but my favorite color isn’t there yet,
I say what can plant the seeds ,
Is it love , success, or peace,
My hands are cold and all I think about,
Is how to not get a fever and a desolated heart.
To the times i was miserable.
181 · Jul 2018
A special place
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
“Being Special” is such a foreign word to my heart,
And I’ve always been disastrous at learning languages.
178 · Jun 2018
Can they be together?
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
Can they be together
If the waves climbed high ?
Can they still be lovers
If the sun sinked so deep?

Will they know how to talk
When the wind howls?
Will they know how to walk
When the clouds cover the stars ?

If the pen is out of ink
Will the letters stop?

What if
Their eyes turned out to be
Boxes made of steel

What if
Their hearts
Were too scared to feel

But
If their souls
Were making ladders
Out of the grass ground they step on
To hold hands

If their minds
Were inventing sweet dreams
After each long talk

And the air they breath
Can carry extra life
The steps they take
Can stretch to miles

The music they love
Can turn the place to be
A sea shore or a lush park
Can build a time machine
Out of the perfect rhythms
Taking them to another era
To their home

One likes to write
One likes to read
One likes to sing
One likes to hear

They both can stay
They both can feel
174 · Jan 8
Breath
Rowan Ayman Jan 8
Breath
Like you’ve just finished a run
Like the last ray of sun
just melted into the sea
Like colors just splashed all over the fields
Or a frightened bird is finally set free
Like the sound of rain
just washed away your pain

Breath
In a way that tells
Your heart how to beat
For the thoughts that yell
To flatter and tweet
And your eyes will close
When you finally realize
How things can be resolved
In a blink of an eye.
171 · Apr 2018
If it could happen.
Rowan Ayman Apr 2018
If it could happen.
If streets could turn into fancy parks.
If the night just stretched a bit longer.
If the sunset was a silent button to all the noise.
.
If it could happen.
If I got to roam in an vintage ,classic car.
Stopped by a bench with dim light.
On the top of the city,so far .
So high.
.
If i could swim among the stars.
I'll see the shiny pieces in my soul.
I'll drown in dreams.
And blame reality for waking me up.
.
If it could happen.
And i got to make dreams come true.
If the colors of the sky flew into my veins.
I could sing in the rain.
I could sing for the loved ones.
I could sing for the ones i miss so their memories become a soft sound frequency to be a melody for my song.
.
If i got to dance like the flowing way.
I hope the ground becomes clouds.
I hope the street lights follow my steps.
I hope the sun and the stars won't close the sky's curtains by a fog.
So i could feel the noise turn to humming birds.
I could feel my brain glow from the light I borrowed from the stars.
For my wandering soul to settle down.
.
And i could feel my feet touch the ground again.
Gently, thankful for every breath.
.
If only it could happen.
.
171 · Jul 2018
The poet me
Rowan Ayman Jul 2018
The poet me
Is a shy kid hiding behind the door
Is a rose with not yet opened petals
Is the tear which didn’t escape
The eyes out of fear of judgment

It’s the girl who runs away from her crush
Although they had a hundred talks
In her head
Her eyes full of love so she looks away
And still wishes to see him

I like fantasy and I’m a fool
I say it’s just not real

But my heart holds on to it
Like it’s the last tree branch on a cliff
Like it’s the last water bottle in a desert
Like it’s love
I write to relieve hidden feelings and deep thoughts , the poet me is my hidden truth
169 · Aug 2018
My era
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
If the streets were quieter
If the sidewalks were fancier
If the moon had the chance to glow
If dainty dresses were the trend
And sweet words were widely spread
Maybe my heart will beat

If the melodies were played to light stars
Wind would sway to clear the clouds
Then the talks would stretch to stares
And love will find its way to us

Words that jangle in my head
Will no longer tremble my mouth
If the sea would do me a favor
And come closer to land

Colored windows will always open
Simultaneously with sun rise
Sunflowers will wave at gardens
When they see people smile

If cafés were Italian with a glimpse of some french
By a view like Greece
And a vibe like all of them
I would pass by and say
Good morning,bonjour,and boungiorno

And gentlemen who wear hats
Would smile and stay bright
And vintage cars
And classy morals
They would all make the calm life
If only a lived where I belong
If only I was born in the right era
Maybe then,
I’ll find myself.
160 · Aug 2018
I see music
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
I see music

A sad violin isn’t simply melancholic,
I see,
A little girl crying in a garden
Cause her bird flew away
Then came her mother, cello
She wiped out the pain
She told her she understands
They both breathed in so deep

I see a mysterious piece
Creepy house and gloomy lights
A vibe of clowns may come by
I see a happy one
Fast then slow,quiet to catch the breath from laughing

I close my eyes to the hammering of an old piano
I see a tremendous ballad and a luxurious party
I see foot tapping then slow dancing

A whole orchestra can tell a life story
Moment of birth starts with a murmuring harp
Childhood , teenage and beyond
Happiness,challenges,euphoria
Grief,nostalgia and it usually ends
With a flute telling the revival
part of the story

I see lovers through their journey
I see loneliness in some melodies
I see wanders
I listen and somehow
It isn’t only sound
150 · Aug 2018
Void
Rowan Ayman Aug 2018
Void I am, stolid in my head,
Flurried from an unknown future ,
A feeling that a cold heart
can’t dispel

Perhaps that’s what life is meant to be,
Uncanny
Flaw-full
Telling the meaning of “real”,
Love of fiction can ruin a life,
Euphoric delusion
Purple sky
In a battle against reality’s strive

Lone has frozen up my heart,
Detained from connection,
Void I am,but never ripped apart,
Plans and fears have a conviction ,
For making anything tough to start,

Void I am,trying to find a home,
Lost is my heart,lost to every single bone.
Lonley from the heart,road empty like the soul
145 · Apr 2018
My feelings
Rowan Ayman Apr 2018
My feelings
Are trapped inside the wallet of my soul ,
And I'm so tight ****** .
My feelings.
Are kept safe in a safe,
Always afraid of thieves.
They are prisoners behind my rib cage,
Not for a crime,
They aren't colored in rage,
But I'm allergic to fake ones,
And I don't want mine to lose their truth.

My feelings.
I'm overprotective.
I don't want them to be taken for granted.
My darkest fear
Is them going to the wrong places.
Wrong hearts and fake faces.

My feelings.
Afraid to get excited.
See Excitement
Fills up the room with party balloons ,
And if it doesn't work out,
They'll pop up.
what a sound.
132 · Jun 2018
Vision of a lover
Rowan Ayman Jun 2018
She knows how to swim
But drowns in his eyes

She’s a master in breathing
But she’s just a beginner
When he smiles

And she knows all the instruments
But she hears his voice
Unable to identify

She wishes to find him
Can fate let the sun
Be the spotlight

Can it dim the light
But light a star
at the end of the road
Where he stands

Can fate let them meet
83 · Jun 23
Reality
Rowan Ayman Jun 23
Talents became tales
told in talks
Impressed,we are
By someone who dumbed reality
Without further harm
We plan our lives like
It’s an airport
So technical with no artistic design
And our planes rarely fly
Reality is the falling petals
The winter which blows
With an acute possibility
of singing in the rain
Reality is the flues
The falls
The tears
Of teared hearts
and lousy teens
But it’s also
Summer , spring, and
The sound of ding ding
From the door bell from dear friends
It’s pink and black
It’s tweets and howls
And we run to another world
Where we don’t have to plan
Where we feel euphoric
Without clenched fists or
Wrapped up hearts
Without steep hills
And messed up parts
Reality
Is what tries to keep in our minds
That this world
is meant for grind.

— The End —