.
And then you were there
your presence touched my dream
I recoil at the beauty of it
unfamiliar with the feeling of love,
I feel your confused hurt
and wish you would withdraw
and wish you would stay
because the emotion scares me,
somewhere, somewhere in the night.

And then you were there
your fingers brushed my skin
I recoil at the softness of it
unfamiliar with the touch of fondness.
I see your confused hurt
and wish your eyes would laugh
and wish your eyes would cry
because your heart calls to me,
somewhere, somewhere in the night.

And then you were there
and then you were not,
and I yearn to find you,
somewhere, somewhere in the night.



© Pagan Paul (19/03/19)

I want to be able to love again
   as if the pieces of my shattered heart still fit together
Before I knew the empty numbing sting of betrayal
   Of those I loved and trusted.
Hurt-beyond what the senses were meant to endure
   Crushing, overwhelming heartache and despondency
Replaced by nothing
      Emotional vacuum
          A ghost in a shell
The windows of my eyes drift farther and farther away
    I sink deeper and deeper inside myself.
                 
I just want to be loved
I just want to be loved without fear
Without regret
Without the promise
of tomorrow's
cold debt

Nectar of the honey bee, serene
My light wispy treasure in the sky
If all the stars turned to glass and shattered
For just one more moment on your lips
The morning is perfect for the moon

....and you are perfect for me

A reflection is a sea of sadness.
A reverse of everything wrong.
A place to stop and watch the madness,
      claiming the weak and the strong.
Shattered glass.
Shards of a life,
           scattered on the floor.
They stab and break your broken heart,
       Until it beats no more.

I sit here so alone
I sit here
Cold steel comforting me; the strength in my index finger is all that is needed to escape when there's nothing left, to open the way out
Like the very last leaf clinging to a tree branch against the onslaught of fall-the vanguard for winters' march
Broken in the wind
I feel weak
Frail
I've given my strength to the years
The years have taken from me with indifference; having no obligation or debt for all it's claimed
The years requite only one thing to me as payment for the benign innocence of the youth it has reaped
Even now while I'm writing this, it can be heard in the softest breeze on this warm November evening.  
It passes by and lightly wipes a tear from my face as it leaves my  once-beating heart  
In doing so  it whispers gently in my ear:
    “Tomorrow the Sun will rise, my child.  Tomorrow will be new”
Unequivocal truth
Though my heart no longer beats and that final piece of what made me me is quietly forgotten by a new world that will see the new light of an old day-
and somewhere a bird will chirp and sing
Two siblings, years estranged, will discard their resentment and be reunited, joyfully reminiscing of happier times long-since passed
A Mother will comfort her crying child
A beloved pet will pass away leaving those that depended on it lost and distraught
Someone will fall in love, and come to the realization that they were incomplete until just then
You will finish reading this
In doing so a piece of what I was will live on forever


Thank you