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VOID Mar 31
The bittersweetness of kissing my youth goodbye
Today, I am dressing my youth in a white dress and lace
Painting blush and lashes, curling her hair, and painting her nails
I am handing my childhood  a bundle of white roses and eucalyptus
and watching her walk alongside my father
walking towards becoming a woman and wife
now I live for much more than I
Today I start living for our future
for our future home, children, journey
closing a chapter to open a better one
the earth blessed us with a gift
something so pure and precious
a blissful snow day gifted to us by angels
kisses from snowflakes on our cheeks from our ancestors
as we hold hand and hand I know there is no better love than I have discovered
many nights I have prayed with tears only God understands
searching for the man he is in every person I have met
I have rediscovered him after many lifetimes of searches
The love of my life in every aspect possible
loving him feelings like
deep belly laughs, cramps from non-stop giggles
a popsicle on a july day, windows rolled down in a truck no A/C on but the wind in our hair reminds us of youth
cigerates on a bacolny on Newyears watching fireworks
loving him is like seeing your entire future in his eyes
feeling every ounce of his I Love You's
never doubting
never worried
because I am secure in his love
my other half
I am nothing if I am not a draft from his rib
a love so precious only we understand
VOID Dec 2021
kissing so loud I can hear ringing in my ears, as our lips smack
touching so often, my skin has memorized, the ridges naturally embedded in your fingertips
I can smell your cologne before you walk through my door
the warmth from your breath on my neck becomes my motivation and willpower
I know the weight of your footsteps as you walk through the cold hall
I admire you to the point of no return
I surrender, all the bad trapped within my past
just for a chance with you
I never want to lose touch with your gentle flesh against mine
my sweet angel, you mean too much to me
your snores and quickness in your lungs as you rest, slowly have become my serenity
I am completed engulfed within your passion
Before you, I feel like a burning house
too upset with flames and rage to stop ripping apart memories and happy common areas, at which I used to feel safe.
Before our grinning exposed teeth and belly pain from laughter,
I was a ghost. Allowing my past lover to ****** me again and again until I came back with the concept of revenge.
you have taught me to find peace with my rage
to slowly forget the bruises the past men left behind
I used to be a lonely screaming bird trapped in a rusted gate
until you opened the doors to freedom and self-discovery
I was addicted to living in my past
and now I feel free
my sweet angel
Thank you.
VOID Nov 2021
Every night I see you lurking in my dreams
organizing to pounce on your prey
patiently waiting to devour me like old times
getting ready to lick your ****** fingers, after ripping my self-esteem apart,
limb by limb you used to tear into me
but I am stronger than I once was
I have grown into my body and mind
your rage is my motivation now
you can never harm me again
VOID Nov 2021
self-hatred is so bittersweet
I no longer feel much pain
too busy numbing my thoughts
to pay attention to my shortcomings
VOID Nov 2021
a betrayal so deep I can not remember how peace once felt
anger so constant I can not feel my own skin without rage
how could he just walk away so easily?
I sold my locks of blonde hair for you
I gave away all the love I  had in storage for myself
I even donated everything that made me, myself.
remember the late nights we spend laughing so hard our bellies hurt?
where has our youth gone?
I have not seen my own smile in months
I guess I am too forgettable
I am so forgettable that I can not remember who I am
but I will be here, pondering on our mistakes
as if I would ever call you to mine again
in the same broken place, you left me
VOID Apr 2021
wind flowing heavily through the light Air
Sun so bright colors vibrate through the grassy patches
grass kissing our pale ankles as we run freely
towards the water
the fresh body of the water baptizes our spirit
young and full of laughter
lungs breathe in the minty blue oxygen
as jokes and memories shared over the cold sodas and reapplied sunscreen
smiles have never been so authentic
summer is truly the best time to connect with our mother earth
listen to her advice as the waves crash over us
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