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Viktoria Feb 2017
I wanna see you again
I miss your eyes
I wanna see you again
This madness, skies

I wanna feel your warmth
Your evidence
I wanna feel you more
Than ever did

I wanna touch you
Please, let me to
I wanna hug you gently
Under the moon

I wanna see your happiness
The crazy one
I wanna feel your breath
Until it's gone
Viktoria Dec 2018
Afraid to fall in love
And to fall out again.

Afraid to move forward,
To fall down in the end.

Afraid to feel,
To finally get hurt.

Afraid to steal
And not give back your heart.

Afraid to find myself
Then lose it straight again.

Afraid to let love happen
Before it all began.
Falling in love, afraid to hurt anybody. Too many break ups in my life and around me. Gotta believe but tryin to protect myself at the same time... from hurting and getting hurt.
Viktoria Feb 2019
No way, no face to look at,
No touch to dive into,
No taste of sweetness,
No electrifying feelings.

No time to give to,
No one to give the time to either.
No tension, despite of illusions.
No hope, only dellusions.

Happy thoughts aren't stable, no more.
Just impulsive, in circles they go.
Chased by fear, just like every emotion,
Drowning in the cold deep ocean...

Of Loneliness, Searching and Hoping,
But senseless,
The belief is gone.
I held onto it, for too long.

The focus now is on what matters.
But isn't what should matter - love?
It's complicated. Self-love is the basis.
Is it? My way is lost and I am standing here.
Love drips down from my fingertips,
A few more seconds and I let it slip.
Viktoria Jan 2019
A seed planted,
Turned around,
A look planted,
Turned around,
A smile more,
Turned around,
Another look, longer,
Turned around,
I hope I touched your soul.
...because you definitely touched mine.
Viktoria Mar 2017
She sat there
Morning, 10 o'clock
A gray tanktop
A pair white socks
Dark yoga pants
And sun kissed skin
A few blond stripes
Brown, straight hair in between
The smell of her perfume
That heavy and sweet
Makes you wanna stay
Wanna bite on your lip
A pony tail hanging
And dancing around
Her head which is slowly
Turning around
Those eyes, for a moment
I don't recognize
I only feel my heart
Fall down and arise
The lips, full of glory
Adding to the face
A shameless expression
Makes me wonder what taste...
She sets up a question
With no single sound
She's waiting for action
My heartbeat is loud
She gets up -
Her eyes even closer to mine
And all I can do is
Watching them shine
She finally moves slowly her mouth
And makes her lovely voice come out
"What's wrong with you, baby?"
She's stroking my cheek
As soft her hand as gentle streak
I wish I could have said something
But now she seemed so sad and weak
I didn't want to upset her
I must have done something wrong
That made her feel bad
And this made me mad
I hated myself for an instant...

It was today that she told me...
And I had no idea.
She made me a cup of black tea
And told me - I had amnesia
A careful approach to an important and sensible topic, worth the attention, influencing many lives. In this poem the focus lies on the perspective of the person with amnesia.
It is not meant to upset anyone but only to thematize this issue and make people remember about its existence.
Viktoria Jan 2017
And there's a mountain in front of me
A mountain of work, of disarray
A mountain of delights is behind this one
I can only see it when lights are gone

The mountains decrease
Doesn't change anything
There always will be a new mountain within
Cause I create em they're a part of the game
You don't need to care
You don't need to pay

Just carry them, carry!
So heavy around
Just think of it think!!!
Don't let them be drown
Stop thinking then stop
But how can I how?
To drown an own thought
Is like suicide, feels wrong
But you can decide
So do yourself a favour
**** pain.
**** the heavy
The hard life endeavor
Viktoria Jan 2019
To lose yourself
Is scary

As not to know
The way

You see a million directions
And you're afraid to choose

You're overanalyzing
Lose touch to any feeling

You're transparent like a ghost
There's no sense in your existence

You see no sense at all.

Like a trombone
The sound of pain in mind
Your brain gets hurt
You're stuck

Can barely breath
Why breath at all?
If you're a ghost

You're scaring, hurting others.
What a shame.

Who will be ever able to love you?
It mustnt be true, it must be a game.
It's a process though. In darkness you can see the light even better, even if it's a tiny spot somewhere far away. Keep holding on to it.
Viktoria Feb 2017
Art is mystery
Art is ***
Art is disarray
Art is fact
Art is a slumber
Art is a storm

Art is not comparable at all

Art is for you
Art is for me
Art is for everyone
To touch and see
Art is aggressive
Art is kind
Art are you
And Art am I
Viktoria Mar 2017
As hot and cold as a stone
When it hits the asphalt
It hit me on the inside
When I suddenly saw you
from a distance tonight

The sparks burned bright
But disappeared within a second
The hope has died
It only seemed to be awaken

Ridiculous, to let the light in
Again. I fell back into memories
I better should go on and forget
How bad I felt those days

I gave you the power,
Do you understand?
How much you meant to me
How much I cared
Now everything is hidden
In the sand
of pale old memories

I never got to hold your hand
But I am still thankful for that
For the beauty and the feeling
For the taking and not giving
You taught me about myself
I discovered through you
How I am dealing with
Situations like this
To get hurt and to miss
To get lost and to find
To be weak and to fight
To lie, to cry, to laugh and smile

I say thank you and you
Will never know
How much I grew through you
Through high and low

I remembered everything right then
When I saw you tonight in an instant
As hot and cold as a stone
When it hits the asphalt...
Met someone who used to be enormously important to me unexpectedly again and memories of feelings came back for a moment
Viktoria Feb 2017
Now you talk like that to me
All emotional and all impulsive
I am tempted to reply
In the same unreasonable way

But because of that
I will keep it back
Staying calm for a moment or two.

To find the right answer for you.
Viktoria Feb 2017
I don't have time for self-analysis and overthinking. I live in the moment and here time doesn't exist.
Viktoria Jan 2017
Be a unicorn
Be just be
Float through grass
And to the sea

Be a seahorse
Be just be
Nothing is worse
Than not to be

Be a grasshopper
Jump through the green
Cause green means hope
And it guides every leap

Be a bear in the woods
Dance around every tree
Be the forest, the roots
Feel the nature, feel free

Be a small butterfly
Floating to every flower
Be a human, just be
And enjoy every hour
Viktoria Mar 2017
I don't know
Something's wrong
I feel weird
I feel low

Seems like a circle
All the way round
Feels like a bubble
Bubble of doubt

Doubts everywhere
Doubts here and there
The insecurities
Have become real

Why do I feel
The things I feel
The world is changing
All around me

I have to hear
And to perceive
This is not the world
This is only me

Not only me though
Me and my mind
They have caused this
They are combined

Since I know this
I have to go on
Being aware
Cause it's nothing at all.
Viktoria Jun 2018
If you and me were on a road trip to somewhere only we know.
Everything would be different.
If you and me had time to get away … into the nature.
If you and me had time to get away
We would, believe me, I would want it badly.
I'd love to show you places,
And to go places with you.
No need for other people, maybe apart from gas stations' salesmen.
Only us and the beautiful nature,
No social boundaries … just life.
Because you are just a person. And I am a person, too.
You have just the same needs, feelings, thoughts.
You have a soul that tries to understand.

Your smile is just as warm as a sun’s ray can be.
You saw enough of lies, of dark and scary forest paths.
You’ve been through this, you lost yourself.
You found the light to get out of the madness.
Still social boundaries were haunting you.
Tying you up and forcing you to ground.

You’re learning and that is beautiful to see.
How you adopt, you build up and progress.
You learned to step out for yourself
To stand strong, to survive the hell.

Sometimes you can’t believe what you’ve been through.
Sometimes you want to run away and to forget.
But life is here and now,
You need to stick to what is there. Right now.

Believe me, watching stars and riding horses.
Going to swim in clear blue waters,
Diving into the ocean… of love.
But I don’t know if that would be enough.

You can be anyone. You know that, right?
Nothing is given for or to us by our birth but life.

Belief is all that counts. You can become whatever you believe into.
Sometimes… and almost always… the societies are blind.
Listen to your own self and ignore what anyone expects.
Be and enjoy life for yourself.
You deserve this my darling, please believe.

Let’s pretend we’re chasing stars with our glances,
But in souls we’re calm as this word could ever be.
Let’s imagine we can get away
And leave the society to live free.
Viktoria Feb 2017
Check in and
Check out
Breath in
And breath out
Let's play
A new game
Insane in the
Figure out
Too much
Feeling Free
Wild Touch
Catching Plays
I am ready
It went heavy
It went steady
Stop and think
Never be
Take your time
For this
A lot more
Than that
Having this
Right now
Makes me Question
Many hours
Until the
Real touch
Worth it
Was it
It is new
To me
We felt same
We felt differently
I'll embrace it now
And I'll take my time
There's no need
For structure
Find the
Viktoria Mar 2017
Ciao! BYE! Adios

...I said, I had enough

Tschüss! Poka! Stop smiling

...I don't need you
...I am done

See you next time! In the next life

...But I am still here
Let me go now, I have to
Even if it's so hard
To say bye to you

Oh remember
Ciao! HI! Salut

...For the first time
...Me and you

I will never
Forget ever
But it's time
I'm moving on

... No
...I don't wanna start it all over

Goodbye baby
Now I'm gone
Viktoria Feb 2019
A mysterious coincidence,
I love mystery, it's exciting,
Could it be a new romance?
Because romantic atmosphere is igniting.

I am thinking of you and your glances,
Shining brightly across the room,
But I still don't know the colour of your eyes,
From a distance I was watching you...

'Look at me', I thought, and there you did.
And you spoke to me right across the room,
You spoke of the day when we will meet,
For a movie and - I hope - a date.

You said, that you hadn't forgotten,
No way, of course you had not,
Don't worry that day you will see me,
From much less far, than so far.

I was a bit nervous, I admit,
But maybe you were nervous too,
I looked at your forearms, uncovered,
to see if I spot a **** tattoo...
or maybe even two.

But no, at least not on your forearms
And maybe you're not the person for that.
I am keen on getting to know you,
I am not gonna regret that we met.

So all my reveries keep on dancing,
Around me, my soul and my head,
Your eyes' spark from a distance,
The warmth that I couldn't forget.

I am pretty sure that you like me,
And for now that is all I want.
I am happy that I can tell you more,
Once we meet, only the two of us, for sure.
Viktoria Jan 2019
I know what's going on.
Oh now I see.
My heart's been warning me,
I kept ignoring thee.

Denial as in all the songs,
And in its stronger version,
Put it on myself.
I put it on, how you hurt me,
To keep moving on,
All proud, no doubt.

Pretending nothing happened,
I told lies, to me, to you,
I barely am ready
To see the truth.

Now however it's unleashed,
And it's gonna hurt
Just like it's supposed
Way back then,
When you hurt me.
You started to ignore me
And how dare you,
I ignored you too!

It was my only way,
It's been.
I am accepting it,
I will, I will..!
I know that I was fooling well
Myself, my friends, my mind.
But my heart always said no,
When I lied.

When I denied,
That in truth,
I didn't want to let go easily.
I didn't want you to ignore me suddenly.
I was hit cold blooded by your coolness,
I was left, scattered, shattered,
With a broken chest.

And alone I sat there, all alone.
But I tried to take care of my own,
So instead of looking down on me,
I pretended my heart to be complete,
And to leave, my head higher than your actions could reach me.

I denied that in truth I loved you,
I denied my emotions to you,
Because you weren't tied too close to me.
You wanted to keep things just casually.
Viktoria Jan 2017
Early too early
I wanna sleep
But something is burning
Right in the deep

The thoughts, the ideas
Are crossing my mind
How long will they stay
I have to decide

They are impolite
I won't ever miss them
But they'll keep on coming
Again and again

With every visit
They'll put a weird pressure
On me
Like when you're in desert
And have to keep water
Until you see a village
Whith a certain relief

Sometimes I managed
To empty the bottle
Because I was certain
There was a fountain
But when I came closer
The hope broke all over
It was just another mirage
In my brain.

And they keep on visiting me again.
Viktoria Feb 2017
Don't lose
Your knowledge
Don't get lost
In your brain
Something bad
Is surely
The wrong way
But good is
To rethink
The attitude
You have
To question it
In logic
There's a proof
Step further
Don't be worried
Nothing can stop you now
Examine to the fullest

The free feeling
The round
The evident
The present
The beautiful
The rare
Love and care
Viktoria Mar 2017
And I felt nothing but fear
And I didn't know at all
How all this could disappear
And I didn't want to fall
And I couldn't tell myself
What I did want and what not
I need to find myself again
To be alone on my true own
Viktoria Feb 2017
Everything will be fine
Said she once
Said she twice

Everything will be fine
Just let it happen, alright?

Said she once, said she twice.

But this time, there's a difference

Because this time she herself is in this.
Waiting, waiting, she says to herself in distress
Waiting is the right way
For the moment, to escape
All those feelings insight
In her heart in her mind

"Let it happen" haha
"I just want to be far"
Far away from all of this
Even though she's gonna miss
Almost everything about him
Her and him - a perfect team

Trust is worth it
Be courageous
She is fearful
Never mentioned
How she felt ever before

Love is worth it
Scary word
She's frightened
She's shocked

She wants to hide
Though in her mind
There is a motivation

"I can't, I never mentioned..."
And all she knows after all this
That she's gonna miss his kiss
The one she never ever got.
Viktoria Apr 2017
Everytime I meet someone new
Who is cute, with interesting attitude
I get to choose -
If to save the contact or to lose...
I am starting to imagine me
Being in love desperately
Having settled a romance suddenly
Being able to become a couple

I don't know if I am starting too early
But I know for sure, he does too
Because I don't think I ever have to worry
About me having this attitude
My friend once said:
It's good to keep the naivety
Instead of learning from failures negativity.
I guess I'm gonna follow the advice
And I'm not gonna rethink it twice
You gotta live and let it happen
This is the way it should be done
It is so often here and now or never
So take this moment, do what feels right
And what makes fun.
This way you're gonna gain experiences
All of a sudden you become enriched
I am not trying to teach you a lesson
Your life is the one who is gonna teach :)
Viktoria Mar 2017
How to be free
How to be me
I need to find

How to pursue
What's made for you
Still not forgetting

Hell what is this
I am nowhere
Can't find it
Have to fight

This promise
I gave to myself
I need to stick to it

For my own soul
On my true own
Find myself in the deep
Viktoria Mar 2017
After long time
Here we go

Happy to hear
Listen to me
Very important
I know

The world
This is what life
Is about

Happy to see
Happy to be
Me proud
Viktoria Feb 2017
He is
He is so interesting
I was impressed
And I laughed
Viktoria Jan 2019
He is trying hard
He could just give up
But no, he stays strong,
He keeps moving on.
Viktoria Jan 2019
And there in the deep
That is pretty **** steep
He is vulnerable and shy
He is insecure - like I.
Viktoria Mar 2017
How I would love him:
I'd appreciate every word he says
Every preposition, verb or noun
I'd enjoy his voice in all different ways
Because I'd just love its sound
Viktoria Mar 2017
I just love how the world is with you
It's like candy and it's smooth
Sweet and easy all in one
New perspectives, new perceptions

I just love how the world is with you
It is real, it's the happy truth
Grooving, bouncing all around
Every moment new and round

I just love how the world is with you
Nothing is boring, everything moves
And we move with it, ready to laugh
You can't imagine how much all this I love

I just love how the world is with you
The atmosphere that cuts the fear
The real and crazy all in one
Perfection is made for the imperfect ones

I just love how the world is with you
Hanging out from sunrise till the moon
I embrace these feelings we have and share
All these moments about which I care

I just love how the world is with you
Holding hands in a sweet romance
Everything we need is me and you
Because we change this world into

Something beautiful and true
Something positive and real
I would not know how to feel
In this world without you
Viktoria Jan 2017
How to make you understand
That you mean a lot to me
How to show it to you
I don't know

Come on give me your hand
Don't be afraid of me
Warmly, let me hold you
Let me show my love to you

One smile, one glance
It's happiness
No need for many words
No need for rewards

I never met someone like you before
I never thought I would
I never planned to feel like that
I never Imagined, what happened

Maybe there is someone else
Who makes you feel in the same way
Maybe I am one out of many for you
But it is obvious that we're close

I don't wanna speculate
Did it already too much
It was a good lesson
Never interpret more in a touch

Sometimes I feel you are trying to say
That you also like me
But I bet I misunderstand
Anyway, give me your hand
Viktoria Feb 2017
I admit that I am worried
I admit I think too much
I admit to be ignoring
Some strong feelings
Cause they touch

I admit I am not trying
To distract myself at all
I admit to be so grateful
For the feelings that I got
I admit to be admiring
You and just my love for you
I admit that now I'm trying
To make you think about it too
Viktoria Jan 2017
I can't help but at times
I just need my expression
Words, songs, dances or smiles
They are all my obsession
Art's my drug and my best friend forever
I can't help but at times I love rhymes.
Viktoria Jan 2017
I feel like this is not enough
The letters in my phone
The words the sentences
The phrases they're all alone

It is not enough
This one tiny dimension
It is if I would mention you
Only once in my life

They don't really transfer
The way how I feel
How much moments with you
Mean to me

And sometimes I act weird
Because my self esteem
Sometimes's so overwhelmed
By your awesomeness

I believe that I feel
The same way that you feel
But the burdens between us
They will not set us free

And the day that we will
Have to say the goodbye
I will hug you so tight
To save this in my mind

To save the feeling
I won't let you go
Because your smile's
The warmest I ever saw

And I want you to know
That the future has changed
For we're different now
And we want to have more

And I bet that one day
You will go for me
Visit me
And that that day
We'll become more than ever
Close to the sun
To the magic we lost for a while
Viktoria Mar 2017
Sometimes we don't know
Where to go
If only we learned to cope
Through belief and hope
Viktoria Mar 2017
There's a decision to make
I gotta make it straight
Always look on the now
Never look back somehow
I am analyzing too much
Don't feel free to keep in touch
Heart is worried, feared of breaking
Heavy is the breath I'm taking
It was long ago that I
Lost my truth up in the sky
Every sparkle, it depended
On the stars that you made shine
I hoped that love never be ended
But how to know without to try
Viktoria Feb 2017
Insanely insane
No program in brain
No chain to attain
No page to stain

No need to repeat
Issues to reheat
The past doesn't last

Speculation is ******
And the son of disorder
Like a drama recorder
Playing again and again

The anxiety's claws
From the head to the toes
In a circle it goes
Reoccurring pain
Viktoria Mar 2017
I remember us
We talked. We laughed
We were happy to have each other
We have trusted one another
And I never thought
This might end.

I remember how
We spent so much time together
We talked about everything
Being open books to one another
And I never could imagine
This might end.

I remember those long nights
After having said "sleep well"
We were still talking about this and that
Even though both very tired the next day
We always did it again and again
And I never believed
This might end.

I remember being so happy with you
Laughing so much that it hurt
Trusting you, being there for you
Always wanting to keep that forever
Years and years. And at first
Our friendship grew stronger.
But having reached the highest point
The time and space became our enemies.
I never expected
This to have an end.

I know deep inside you understand
But you stopped chasing those good memories
Still it was hard for me to let them go
Anyway I just wanted to let you know
All my secrets and thoughts
All my losses and pains
I wanted to share with you
What was in my heart, in my veins
But you lost the belief in us
And we couldn't keep the trust

And I never again got to know
About how you feel deep inside
What you actually think in your mind
How you feel about losing your best friend
Because now our friendship seemed to end

And I always blamed the circumstances
But I knew that you changed a lot
So maybe if you didn't let go off
We could still make it through everything
Just how we used to do it once before -
When I never could imagine
This might end.
The friendship is unfortunately fading and I don't feel that I can save it anymore. Unfortunately. We picked to go different ways.
Viktoria Feb 2017
It is time
To let go soon
But I am not ready

It is time
To forget
But I won't

It is time
Time flows by
Now it's running

It is time
But for me
There's no doubt

It is time
Fact's a feeling

It is time
So revealing
But tense

It is time
Never jumped
Into the ocean

It is time
You became
My best friend

It is time
To finish
All the plans

It is time
And for us
There's no chance

It is time
And the future
Will bring more

It is time
I can't tell you
What for

It is time
I am wondering
How strong

It is time
The emotions
Have been

It is time
It is beautiful

It is time
I won't forget
About it

It is time
And I have
To say goodbye

It is time
And it's difficult

But I don't wanna
Let go

It is time
I just wanted to
Let you know
Viktoria Mar 2017
I thought
I got over it
But you are still here
I thought I forgot
But I didn't
I thought
I was through with you
But you simply stayed
I thought I asked you
To leave my heart
More than once till today

I thought
But obviously
I was wrong
I didn't know
That I still longed
For the smile
And the touch
That you gave
But me
I asked for something
That was far too much
And never meant to be

I like to think of it
This way:
You're not the one,
I like to say,
Because the one
The real, the true
He's meant to stay

And that's not you.
Noticed feelings waking up from a sleep again, trying to survive.
Viktoria Jan 2017
I wanna hear you telling me
That I'm the one
I wanna listen to your heartbeat
Embrace your soul

I wanna keep you by my side forever
I don't ever want to say goodbye
Oh never
Viktoria Feb 2017
I wrote ten poems about you
Or maybe even more
I wrote about my thoughts
I wrote a lot a lot

I wrote about you
Your smile, your eyes
As bright as skies
The shining of your face

I wrote to see, to understand
What this all means to me
But in the end, all that I felt
Looked like a maze to me

I wrote ten poems about you
I tried to understand
I wrote about my feelings
And thoughts inside my head

I wrote about your attitude
Your living happiness
I wrote about the positive
The good things and the best

I never realized it before
And now it's kinda late
How much I cared
How much for you I felt

I wrote the poems desperately
Because of room and time
I tried to make every of them
To be filled up with rhyme

It was quite easy
Because of you
Your smile,
Your friendly attitude

Your opened nature
Your manly stature
Your free emotions
Your crazy devotions

I wrote ten poems about you
For how impressed I am
I'll keep on writing about you
Until the very end

I wrote ten poems about you
Or maybe even more
I'll keep on writing about you
And you don't even know
Viktoria Jan 2019
I am just asking to ask,
To get an answer from you,
I am just looking, to look,
To have you look at me, too.
I am so careful, I am,
******, I am just too shy.
I am afraid to risk it,
And show the interest I deny.
Viktoria Jan 2019
I am just searching for someone
To fall in love with
Because it is that feeling
That I miss.
Viktoria Feb 2017
Interesting how everything evolves
You lose yourself to
Find your Self again
Knocking on a door
That was never there
Trying to defeat yourself
When nothing attacks
Forcing positivity to come
Even when you know
In a neutral world
No regrets no doubts
No fears no thoughts
Should upset a creature like You.
Hiding automatically behind
A milky blurry glass of uncertainty
Waiting for the right step to step

But what if you change your attitude and stop to wonder too much about this nonexistent negativity
Change your mind set and embrace this very moment
Viktoria Feb 2017
Sounds of laughter
What a joy
Sounds of sadness
Not a toy
Laughing hard
At someone's bad
Keep an eye on you instead
Viktoria Jan 2017
Don't think that this is wrong
Don't think, embrace the feeling
Don't try to see the cons, the pros
Just stop and let it happen

Don't try to figure out
But try to feel and not to doubt
The moment's truth is inside of you
And only you can let it happen

Don't worry too much
Just feel the real touch
The beauty, the moment's obsession
And simply let it happen

The feeling's always worth it
Don't try to run away from it
That'll be so dishonest
Just let it happen and smile

Open up, right now
Embrace the feeling
The power, the notion
And finally let happen the emotion

No one will judge you, only your feeling counts, stop being afraid of yourself
Stop hiding in someone else's shape but yours
and better let it happen.
Viktoria Apr 2019
Expectations, expectations,
Can I drop you for a while?
I don't mean it bad or vicious,
I just need a relaxed mind.

I don't really need your pressure,
Since it holds me back a lot,
Can I please enjoy this moment?
Cause it's everything I got!
Viktoria Feb 2017
If you wanna laugh -

If you wanna cry -

If you wanna love -

But if you wanna die -
Viktoria Dec 2018
I am not gonna write how it is
to lose. A friend. Again
It's the physical closeness
That we miss
I miss to hold your hand.

I am not gonna write how sad
I felt, when I said goodbye.
Because these thoughts and feelings are able
to make me emotional and cry.

I am not gonna describe
How I lost something together with you
As if I was separated in two
And you took one part of myself with you.

... and still I do.
Had to say goodbye to a friend who moved into another country.
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