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Jan 8 · 76
This night
Viktoria Jan 8
Out of time
No one minds
At all

Two crazy
And two

Far away
But home
In your

Your touch
And comfort
Like snowflakes
On the windows

Like the sound
Of rain in the summer.


Is our
I am sure
You heard it
This night.
May 2019 · 205
White=Nothing & Everything
Viktoria May 2019

I recover
From long madness
Called N-U-M-B-N-E-S-S

Held me in
For too long
Behind bars
Made of steel
Of fears


Instead of

I wished many times
I could feel SADNESS
But all I felt was
And nothing else

Then I looked precisely
And found everything
Hidden in there.

Not only SADNESS


just like the colour WHITE
consists of all the other colours
May 2019 · 112
Our bodies
Viktoria May 2019
Trust the process. They say.
But what if I am the process?
Anyway, my mind is directing my actions,
My body's the one to obey.
But shouldn't it be in a vice versa way?

To listen to the body, for a change.
I can imagine that, but can I manage that?
The body knows the healthy way,
Why should my mind lead instead?

Back to the roots, they say.
I weren't there, I state.
I cannot know for sure,
The origin of human way.

Does the body ever speak to me though?
Oh, I'm sure it at least sometimes whispers.
Don't eat that sugarfilled product, you,
I need simply more oxytocin.

This one weak voice, you can realize,
If you pay attention very closely,
Our bodies miss the human touch,
But we feed it with chocolate, almost chocking.

Our bodies miss sports, exercise,
Do you feel, how your muscles get weaker?
Get out there, for a fresh morning run,
Your body will be happier much quicker.

Let your health be the leader of your day,
Listen to your inner body's voice,
It has every minute-hour, much to say,
It's about life, for what it's worth.

Our bodies miss love,
Our mind's blown away,
Shouldn't we listen up,
And give our bodies a say?
May 2019 · 128
Protection shield
Viktoria May 2019
No actually better already,
halfway, not full I suppose.
Thought I was so very aware,
Turned out, I didn't know half of the truth.

Fears chasing me, yet again.
And I try to stay in the moment,
Maybe that was the mistake,
I held on to it, with force.

I was convinced, my inner state,
Must feel all pure and harmonious,
Every time I have made it into the
Present moments.
But very possible I was wrong,
And I covered my fears with an image,
Of how I would think,
A moment in human's life should feel.

Sounds bit complicated, I know.
But I know what I talk about.
I am tired of hiding the unpleasant,
I better live with, not without it.

In fact without it, that's not possible.
At least till I have cleared it up.
It can't disappear, it's emotional,
And I used to cover it up.

It was a part of my perfect thinking,
I idealized myself,
In my view, I am a real warrior,
A hero for the weak and dead,
I put this expectation on myself,
I carried it around like a shield,
And though no arrow really got to me,
I still got traumatized, stopped to feel.
In fact behind the shield I was just hiding,
I hid my fears, my worries beneath,
I am still very sure that they're my weaknesses,
I tried to be different, and the result was this.

I truly stopped to feel real pain,
I fell to ashes and got up again,
But through the journey,
I lost who I was,
And my humanity got lost.

Now I am standing here,
My shield, still in my hand,
But I have made a hole,
To look through it instead.

I am not ready to uncover,
How damaged I am underneath,
I am not ready to discover,
My truth and my uncertainties.

I'm wounded, but I am alive.
I see it although I still hide,
Under the shield,
A perfect game,
The sun, the rain,
They're all the same,
No light comes in,
And storms stay outside,
But I am here to live,
And I have to decide,
Can I let the illusion go,
Am I ready to meet with my soul,
Am I ready to show the world,
Who I am and who I'm actually not?

Truly, I didn't even know,
I held this shield through it all,
I just saw it in my hand and realized,
I am not as much a hero, as I fantasized.

In fact I feel really hurt and blind,
For the waking up is cutting within
At the same time I realize,
It is time to let life and light in.

It is a very small, though heavy step to make.
I am still shaking insecurely, I have fears.
I need more courage now,
Than I ever had,
And I'm glad, that now I understand that.
About my deepest truth, how I am hiding behind some image of myself that seemingly doesn't get hurt.
Apr 2019 · 153
What's there to lose?
Viktoria Apr 2019
Of course I wonder
Of course I care
It's coming, soon,
Like in a different life,
It's either a date
Nor a simple encounter,
It doesn't fit into my last months strife.

I do prepare for a breakthrough,
I do prepare for a heartbreak too.
But I prefer to have it that way finally.
Better than fleeing from love endlessly.

I do need love in my life,
I do deserve the heat of touch,
I do deserve the butterflies,
The ups and downs,
The stress, the rush,
The anxious worries,
The dramatic stories,
The fear, the pain,
And the occasional gain,
The tears of luck,
The tears of disdain,
I could do this again and again.

Because I do choose my way,
I'll be ignoring, what they have to say.
There's nothing to lose after all, anyway.

And once you let me go,
I set my love for you... free.
There are no boundaries for love
In my life, and for me.

So that's my goal,
I'm gonna haunt the truth,
After all it's only this one life,
And how often do we love
Like this?
Apr 2019 · 106
Testify to you
Viktoria Apr 2019
I'm gonna testify my love to you,
I feel so horrified, and so don't you.
You don't even know what I went through.
After two years thinking about you.

I tried to love someone but you.
But I never felt the same again as for you.
So I decided to set you finally free,
I need you to know about me.

I need to tell you, I loved you.
I don't even know, if I still do.
I have not seen you for a long while,
And I almost forgot how you smile.

But tomorrow is the day and I will know,
If I still do love you like long ago.
Anyway I wanna tell you that I did.
I just need you to know about it.

Well, the plan is insecure, I agree.
But it's something I decided for me.
If not in this life, when can I tell,
Someone I loved for real, what I feel.

I tried to figure out the words,
I'm gonna use.
If we are honest,
I don't have as much to lose.
I'm gonna take a joker and tell you,
"I fell in love with you, when I met you".

I am so excited about your reaction,
I can't wait for it, honestly.
Although simultaneously I am,
So afraid, that I can barely breath.

I hope I can finally say it,
And of course, I might surprise you a lot.
I mean, if we're honest, we're not close.
And not close enough for that matter at all.

Somehow I am happy though that you live
In a different city than me,
Although there's a distance between us,
It will be possible to flee.

I don't know what to expect. Honestly.
There are too many unknowns in the equation.
But I chose truth for once and we'll see,
How I'll manage to testify to thee.
And almost every sentence ends with "you"...
Apr 2019 · 216
Listen Expectations
Viktoria Apr 2019
Expectations, expectations,
Can I drop you for a while?
I don't mean it bad or vicious,
I just need a relaxed mind.

I don't really need your pressure,
Since it holds me back a lot,
Can I please enjoy this moment?
Cause it's everything I got!
Viktoria Feb 2019
No way, no face to look at,
No touch to dive into,
No taste of sweetness,
No electrifying feelings.

No time to give to,
No one to give the time to either.
No tension, despite of illusions.
No hope, only dellusions.

Happy thoughts aren't stable, no more.
Just impulsive, in circles they go.
Chased by fear, just like every emotion,
Drowning in the cold deep ocean...

Of Loneliness, Searching and Hoping,
But senseless,
The belief is gone.
I held onto it, for too long.

The focus now is on what matters.
But isn't what should matter - love?
It's complicated. Self-love is the basis.
Is it? My way is lost and I am standing here.
Love drips down from my fingertips,
A few more seconds and I let it slip.
Feb 2019 · 401
Could it be a new romance?
Viktoria Feb 2019
A mysterious coincidence,
I love mystery, it's exciting,
Could it be a new romance?
Because romantic atmosphere is igniting.

I am thinking of you and your glances,
Shining brightly across the room,
But I still don't know the colour of your eyes,
From a distance I was watching you...

'Look at me', I thought, and there you did.
And you spoke to me right across the room,
You spoke of the day when we will meet,
For a movie and - I hope - a date.

You said, that you hadn't forgotten,
No way, of course you had not,
Don't worry that day you will see me,
From much less far, than so far.

I was a bit nervous, I admit,
But maybe you were nervous too,
I looked at your forearms, uncovered,
to see if I spot a **** tattoo...
or maybe even two.

But no, at least not on your forearms
And maybe you're not the person for that.
I am keen on getting to know you,
I am not gonna regret that we met.

So all my reveries keep on dancing,
Around me, my soul and my head,
Your eyes' spark from a distance,
The warmth that I couldn't forget.

I am pretty sure that you like me,
And for now that is all I want.
I am happy that I can tell you more,
Once we meet, only the two of us, for sure.
Viktoria Jan 2019
Is it true?
Or am I fooling,
Is it real,
Or am I lost?
Am I insecure and lonely?
Is it that what has caused,
Lovely feelings and hopes,
Expectations and dreams,
After all these months,
Is it really still real?

Can't barely catch a thought
That's pure and clear,
It's all a mixture of speculations,
I've always loved it, and I do love still,
The magic and the power of imagination.
I am an artist in projecting,
I see the little signs in every tree,
I am a hopeless romantic for arts,
I am a desperate creator in need.
Just give me one bit hope,
And I'll make history...!

Just a wink of love,
And I'm there,
Just one lovely look,
And I care,
And I present the generations,
A basket full of dreams and passions!

Go try and catch'em,
For they're free,
They're my ideas,
But have history,
They did exist before,
On paper and on more,

This time they came to me!!!!
They've outgrown me,
Now they will come to you,
If you are ready, too!
Jan 2019 · 264
Denial or The Casual Trap
Viktoria Jan 2019
I know what's going on.
Oh now I see.
My heart's been warning me,
I kept ignoring thee.

Denial as in all the songs,
And in its stronger version,
Put it on myself.
I put it on, how you hurt me,
To keep moving on,
All proud, no doubt.

Pretending nothing happened,
I told lies, to me, to you,
I barely am ready
To see the truth.

Now however it's unleashed,
And it's gonna hurt
Just like it's supposed
Way back then,
When you hurt me.
You started to ignore me
And how dare you,
I ignored you too!

It was my only way,
It's been.
I am accepting it,
I will, I will..!
I know that I was fooling well
Myself, my friends, my mind.
But my heart always said no,
When I lied.

When I denied,
That in truth,
I didn't want to let go easily.
I didn't want you to ignore me suddenly.
I was hit cold blooded by your coolness,
I was left, scattered, shattered,
With a broken chest.

And alone I sat there, all alone.
But I tried to take care of my own,
So instead of looking down on me,
I pretended my heart to be complete,
And to leave, my head higher than your actions could reach me.

I denied that in truth I loved you,
I denied my emotions to you,
Because you weren't tied too close to me.
You wanted to keep things just casually.
Jan 2019 · 143
Viktoria Jan 2019
I gotta do something against
The pressure I am putting on myself
I can't bear this weight on my chest
I need to break free and to rest.

Of all
Jan 2019 · 305
Just asking to ask
Viktoria Jan 2019
I am just asking to ask,
To get an answer from you,
I am just looking, to look,
To have you look at me, too.
I am so careful, I am,
******, I am just too shy.
I am afraid to risk it,
And show the interest I deny.
Jan 2019 · 810
Just for love
Viktoria Jan 2019
I am just searching for someone
To fall in love with
Because it is that feeling
That I miss.
Jan 2019 · 399
Viktoria Jan 2019
To lose yourself
Is scary

As not to know
The way

You see a million directions
And you're afraid to choose

You're overanalyzing
Lose touch to any feeling

You're transparent like a ghost
There's no sense in your existence

You see no sense at all.

Like a trombone
The sound of pain in mind
Your brain gets hurt
You're stuck

Can barely breath
Why breath at all?
If you're a ghost

You're scaring, hurting others.
What a shame.

Who will be ever able to love you?
It mustnt be true, it must be a game.
It's a process though. In darkness you can see the light even better, even if it's a tiny spot somewhere far away. Keep holding on to it.
Jan 2019 · 657
A look planted
Viktoria Jan 2019
A seed planted,
Turned around,
A look planted,
Turned around,
A smile more,
Turned around,
Another look, longer,
Turned around,
I hope I touched your soul.
...because you definitely touched mine.
Jan 2019 · 52
He is strong
Viktoria Jan 2019
He is trying hard
He could just give up
But no, he stays strong,
He keeps moving on.
Jan 2019 · 89
He is the same
Viktoria Jan 2019
And there in the deep
That is pretty **** steep
He is vulnerable and shy
He is insecure - like I.
Dec 2018 · 211
Losing a friend
Viktoria Dec 2018
I am not gonna write how it is
to lose. A friend. Again
It's the physical closeness
That we miss
I miss to hold your hand.

I am not gonna write how sad
I felt, when I said goodbye.
Because these thoughts and feelings are able
to make me emotional and cry.

I am not gonna describe
How I lost something together with you
As if I was separated in two
And you took one part of myself with you.

... and still I do.
Had to say goodbye to a friend who moved into another country.
Dec 2018 · 169
The light in my eyes
Viktoria Dec 2018
Done blaming myself
Want to give myself love
That I deserve

Been fake
And treating badly myself
For far too long

Done being harsh with myself
I wanna grow
Although accepting myself
For who I am

I see the light in my eyes
I just woke up
Now I again recognize
My love and soul

I wanna give me the strength
I'm gonna need
I will be there for myself
From now on

I won't be afraid
Of losing myself
I'm here

I stop crusading myself,
I am still here

I see the light
In my eyes
It makes believe
I see the sun
And the moon
And I can breath

How you speak to yourself does count.
Dec 2018 · 395
Viktoria Dec 2018
Forgot how to poem
Forgot how to rhyme
Tryin to find ways
To express myself

My void on the inside
Doesn't leave me much
I can't really say how I feel
Can't really reach it or touch

Got some physical pain
Cause the body knows
When the emptiness within me
Grows and my soul hurts

All this vacuum is there for me to hide
What I feel so bad about and what I mind

I don't see it all but it is there
It's invisible but I am tryin to share
Feeling empty after a bad incident in my family. Trying to find ways to express this inner void. I know that eventually I'll find peace again and poetry always helps to speed up the recovery
Dec 2018 · 168
Viktoria Dec 2018
Afraid to fall in love
And to fall out again.

Afraid to move forward,
To fall down in the end.

Afraid to feel,
To finally get hurt.

Afraid to steal
And not give back your heart.

Afraid to find myself
Then lose it straight again.

Afraid to let love happen
Before it all began.
Falling in love, afraid to hurt anybody. Too many break ups in my life and around me. Gotta believe but tryin to protect myself at the same time... from hurting and getting hurt.
Jun 2018 · 341
Chasing Stars
Viktoria Jun 2018
If you and me were on a road trip to somewhere only we know.
Everything would be different.
If you and me had time to get away … into the nature.
If you and me had time to get away
We would, believe me, I would want it badly.
I'd love to show you places,
And to go places with you.
No need for other people, maybe apart from gas stations' salesmen.
Only us and the beautiful nature,
No social boundaries … just life.
Because you are just a person. And I am a person, too.
You have just the same needs, feelings, thoughts.
You have a soul that tries to understand.

Your smile is just as warm as a sun’s ray can be.
You saw enough of lies, of dark and scary forest paths.
You’ve been through this, you lost yourself.
You found the light to get out of the madness.
Still social boundaries were haunting you.
Tying you up and forcing you to ground.

You’re learning and that is beautiful to see.
How you adopt, you build up and progress.
You learned to step out for yourself
To stand strong, to survive the hell.

Sometimes you can’t believe what you’ve been through.
Sometimes you want to run away and to forget.
But life is here and now,
You need to stick to what is there. Right now.

Believe me, watching stars and riding horses.
Going to swim in clear blue waters,
Diving into the ocean… of love.
But I don’t know if that would be enough.

You can be anyone. You know that, right?
Nothing is given for or to us by our birth but life.

Belief is all that counts. You can become whatever you believe into.
Sometimes… and almost always… the societies are blind.
Listen to your own self and ignore what anyone expects.
Be and enjoy life for yourself.
You deserve this my darling, please believe.

Let’s pretend we’re chasing stars with our glances,
But in souls we’re calm as this word could ever be.
Let’s imagine we can get away
And leave the society to live free.
May 2017 · 182
Viktoria May 2017
Four letters.

A feeling
That matters.
A feeling for you

I love.
What does it mean?
Is it really enough
The way I feel
To call it love?

the symbol - heart
Yes, sometimes
It does hurt
But how deep
Does it have to be?
To be called love,
Or in love desperately?

I know, I don't know enough about love.
But I know I haven't had enough
Of times with you,
Your attitude,
Your hugs, your spirit
Life with you
It showed me something new
Something that matters
And something that's true
Apr 2017 · 372
Viktoria Apr 2017
Everytime I meet someone new
Who is cute, with interesting attitude
I get to choose -
If to save the contact or to lose...
I am starting to imagine me
Being in love desperately
Having settled a romance suddenly
Being able to become a couple

I don't know if I am starting too early
But I know for sure, he does too
Because I don't think I ever have to worry
About me having this attitude
My friend once said:
It's good to keep the naivety
Instead of learning from failures negativity.
I guess I'm gonna follow the advice
And I'm not gonna rethink it twice
You gotta live and let it happen
This is the way it should be done
It is so often here and now or never
So take this moment, do what feels right
And what makes fun.
This way you're gonna gain experiences
All of a sudden you become enriched
I am not trying to teach you a lesson
Your life is the one who is gonna teach :)
Apr 2017 · 383
Short poem
Viktoria Apr 2017
Precious time
Great ideas
I am using these

I don't want
To lose them
Make them useless

Planning out
Is the ground

No illusions
Can be found
No strategic
Or deep wounds

Truth is happiness
With no fear
And creations are
Its best friends

Nice to hear
This is how this short poem
Apr 2017 · 379
What would death feel like?
Viktoria Apr 2017
What would death feel like?
Strong and mighty...
Like a fight?
Neutral ignorant
Or just fearful
Not to be

Would it maybe
Rather be
Happy and relaxed
Or isn't it for us
To see how long it lasts?

Is there something like pre-death
Just to put us to the test
To see the reaction beneath
To examine if we are ready

It is possible
That death is a new start
Some do believe in it
It's not too hard
But tough
Is to assume
That nothing will follow
Nor time nor space no room
All in one swallowed

And I think to myself
If that's what death is like
Do we even have to worry
To die in a certain glory
Or too young or too soon
Because if nothing follows
Then the you disappears
In a moment with all fears
And if you don't feel
You are not alive
So death might be less crucial
Than we're used to assume
Our attitudes, opinions will be gone
Our feelings all disappear on their own
And with them our very own soul
Which might continue its adventure
In a different creature.
Apr 2017 · 369
What will happen next?
Viktoria Apr 2017
Time, seconds, weeks, days
Randomly combined states
Never-ending, always standing
By your side forever

You know it seems unreal
I don't know how I feel
I don't believe what happened
With you and me that night

This time the tension more than tense
I didn't lie, didn't pretend
I didn't have to hide
My feelings
And you
Were honest too.

Believing in the past
The feeling which didn't last
Where is it right now
That's what I am wondering about
While I am here
And you are not
I am really close to question a lot
And I ask myself
What will happen next
Because I am afraid
That the feelings are away
Viktoria Apr 2017
You either struggle or you don't
This is your own decision
The way you look at things along
You build up your own vision

Please tell yourself that nothing ever
Should make you worry in this way
No one should ever get the power
To make you sad and not okay

It's hard sometimes cause we believe
This one is the one out of many
But do we want this person still
To make us feel really unhappy?
Apr 2017 · 166
Times and times again
Viktoria Apr 2017
I can't calm myself
No can't
There is something in me
I don't understand
I just want to get home
To forget?
Too much
It blocks out everything
I am tired, worn out
Miss my health
Have to find a way out
Times and times again
Don't forget to smile
Don't worry and don't cry
Times and times again
You deserve to be happy my friend
Apr 2017 · 365
The game
Viktoria Apr 2017
If you don't call
I will not either
It is so cold without you
If you will fall
But won't catch me
I will not cry
About it
Since I can live
Without it

If you don't talk
So will not I
The silent wall
Between us
If you are tired
So am I
I will not entertain us

If you forget
I can do too
Sometimes fear
Is a useful tool
Afraid of pain
Of having lost
I better let you
Fall down first

If you don't see
So won't do I
I will not cry
And will not fight
If you will try
To get me back
I might come back
But only once
A human self-protective reaction. Pride. Pretending. Revenge? Misunderstanding. Love? Hate?
Mar 2017 · 258
Viktoria Mar 2017
After long time
Here we go

Happy to hear
Listen to me
Very important
I know

The world
This is what life
Is about

Happy to see
Happy to be
Me proud
Mar 2017 · 331
I remember
Viktoria Mar 2017
I remember us
We talked. We laughed
We were happy to have each other
We have trusted one another
And I never thought
This might end.

I remember how
We spent so much time together
We talked about everything
Being open books to one another
And I never could imagine
This might end.

I remember those long nights
After having said "sleep well"
We were still talking about this and that
Even though both very tired the next day
We always did it again and again
And I never believed
This might end.

I remember being so happy with you
Laughing so much that it hurt
Trusting you, being there for you
Always wanting to keep that forever
Years and years. And at first
Our friendship grew stronger.
But having reached the highest point
The time and space became our enemies.
I never expected
This to have an end.

I know deep inside you understand
But you stopped chasing those good memories
Still it was hard for me to let them go
Anyway I just wanted to let you know
All my secrets and thoughts
All my losses and pains
I wanted to share with you
What was in my heart, in my veins
But you lost the belief in us
And we couldn't keep the trust

And I never again got to know
About how you feel deep inside
What you actually think in your mind
How you feel about losing your best friend
Because now our friendship seemed to end

And I always blamed the circumstances
But I knew that you changed a lot
So maybe if you didn't let go off
We could still make it through everything
Just how we used to do it once before -
When I never could imagine
This might end.
The friendship is unfortunately fading and I don't feel that I can save it anymore. Unfortunately. We picked to go different ways.
Mar 2017 · 463
As hot and cold as a stone
Viktoria Mar 2017
As hot and cold as a stone
When it hits the asphalt
It hit me on the inside
When I suddenly saw you
from a distance tonight

The sparks burned bright
But disappeared within a second
The hope has died
It only seemed to be awaken

Ridiculous, to let the light in
Again. I fell back into memories
I better should go on and forget
How bad I felt those days

I gave you the power,
Do you understand?
How much you meant to me
How much I cared
Now everything is hidden
In the sand
of pale old memories

I never got to hold your hand
But I am still thankful for that
For the beauty and the feeling
For the taking and not giving
You taught me about myself
I discovered through you
How I am dealing with
Situations like this
To get hurt and to miss
To get lost and to find
To be weak and to fight
To lie, to cry, to laugh and smile

I say thank you and you
Will never know
How much I grew through you
Through high and low

I remembered everything right then
When I saw you tonight in an instant
As hot and cold as a stone
When it hits the asphalt...
Met someone who used to be enormously important to me unexpectedly again and memories of feelings came back for a moment
Mar 2017 · 215
It's not you
Viktoria Mar 2017
I thought
I got over it
But you are still here
I thought I forgot
But I didn't
I thought
I was through with you
But you simply stayed
I thought I asked you
To leave my heart
More than once till today

I thought
But obviously
I was wrong
I didn't know
That I still longed
For the smile
And the touch
That you gave
But me
I asked for something
That was far too much
And never meant to be

I like to think of it
This way:
You're not the one,
I like to say,
Because the one
The real, the true
He's meant to stay

And that's not you.
Noticed feelings waking up from a sleep again, trying to survive.
Mar 2017 · 548
The King
Viktoria Mar 2017
Once upon
A time
A King
Spoke in a
"Tonight Folks,
You will not believe
I'll show you
Something very deep
Inside of me
The secret is
Too hard to keep...
Too long have
I waited to speak
It out loud."

in the crowd
listened excitedly
to the royalty
speaking in clarity:
"My dearest crowd"

everyone bowed
to the King's Sound

As he went on:
"What's meant to be
Is what is nature's will.
For what feels right
Is what is real"

the people stood still...
waiting for more
the King being nervous
they couldn't ignore...
While he took a deep breath in
and scratching his chin let them know:

"So friends, I'll tell you
What I mean...
From now on
I will be your Queen."
Speaking of the LGBT-community, do what feels right and don't care about what other people say. "For what feels right is real". Freedom to every human being on this planet!
Mar 2017 · 161
Viktoria Mar 2017
And stay
Not knowing
Where to go
Or what the purpose is
They either question things
Or set up a confusion
And in the end
I realize that
All those thoughts
Were an illusion

this is my conclusion
An attempt to catch the confusion of the moment, simultaneously watching it melt away
Mar 2017 · 245
Viktoria Mar 2017
She sat there
Morning, 10 o'clock
A gray tanktop
A pair white socks
Dark yoga pants
And sun kissed skin
A few blond stripes
Brown, straight hair in between
The smell of her perfume
That heavy and sweet
Makes you wanna stay
Wanna bite on your lip
A pony tail hanging
And dancing around
Her head which is slowly
Turning around
Those eyes, for a moment
I don't recognize
I only feel my heart
Fall down and arise
The lips, full of glory
Adding to the face
A shameless expression
Makes me wonder what taste...
She sets up a question
With no single sound
She's waiting for action
My heartbeat is loud
She gets up -
Her eyes even closer to mine
And all I can do is
Watching them shine
She finally moves slowly her mouth
And makes her lovely voice come out
"What's wrong with you, baby?"
She's stroking my cheek
As soft her hand as gentle streak
I wish I could have said something
But now she seemed so sad and weak
I didn't want to upset her
I must have done something wrong
That made her feel bad
And this made me mad
I hated myself for an instant...

It was today that she told me...
And I had no idea.
She made me a cup of black tea
And told me - I had amnesia
A careful approach to an important and sensible topic, worth the attention, influencing many lives. In this poem the focus lies on the perspective of the person with amnesia.
It is not meant to upset anyone but only to thematize this issue and make people remember about its existence.
Mar 2017 · 150
Viktoria Mar 2017
Stop to
I can't
You keep
From you
Old and new
At once
But I never
Is either
Or it's
Only show
Mar 2017 · 153
Viktoria Mar 2017
Ciao! BYE! Adios

...I said, I had enough

Tschüss! Poka! Stop smiling

...I don't need you
...I am done

See you next time! In the next life

...But I am still here
Let me go now, I have to
Even if it's so hard
To say bye to you

Oh remember
Ciao! HI! Salut

...For the first time
...Me and you

I will never
Forget ever
But it's time
I'm moving on

... No
...I don't wanna start it all over

Goodbye baby
Now I'm gone
Mar 2017 · 192
The reason
Viktoria Mar 2017
You're a thief
You're stealing all my thoughts
You're a butcher
Tearing me apart
You're my muse
For you're my inspiration
You're my alarm
I wake up to your vibration
You're like space
So huge but not to see
You're the sun
You're blinding me
You're my favorite song
It's your voice I hear
This flowering fragrance
When you appear
You're the one for a dance
And to give a kiss
You're the one to love
You're the one to miss

You're my reason why
And I'd have to lie
If I said that it's over
For me
Mar 2017 · 558
The perfect state
Viktoria Mar 2017
Whatever happens - I am ready
No fears, only excitement
Whatever happens, nothing bothers
Here I am, no suffering, no more

Embracing every obstacle
Like in a game
Even if I got too much out of the frame
Whatever happens, I am ready now
No questioning, no doubts
Playing around
So happy
Being me
That's what I like to be
Mar 2017 · 134
Viktoria Mar 2017
This pride
This time
That you
I found
That happened
It's marvellous
Thanks God
Thank you
I thank myself
This great achievement's
More than gorgeous
I know, I've known
Not always
How much
I appreciate
You and me
But the real
Feelings' touch
Shook me up
Mar 2017 · 849
No time left
Viktoria Mar 2017
No time left
And confusion
Now seems
All a sweet
In brains
I won't
Let it get
Into veins
No real
It's only
Caused by
And caused by
Mar 2017 · 130
For myself
Viktoria Mar 2017
How to be free
How to be me
I need to find

How to pursue
What's made for you
Still not forgetting

Hell what is this
I am nowhere
Can't find it
Have to fight

This promise
I gave to myself
I need to stick to it

For my own soul
On my true own
Find myself in the deep
Mar 2017 · 288
Bubble of doubt
Viktoria Mar 2017
I don't know
Something's wrong
I feel weird
I feel low

Seems like a circle
All the way round
Feels like a bubble
Bubble of doubt

Doubts everywhere
Doubts here and there
The insecurities
Have become real

Why do I feel
The things I feel
The world is changing
All around me

I have to hear
And to perceive
This is not the world
This is only me

Not only me though
Me and my mind
They have caused this
They are combined

Since I know this
I have to go on
Being aware
Cause it's nothing at all.
Mar 2017 · 179
How the world is with you
Viktoria Mar 2017
I just love how the world is with you
It's like candy and it's smooth
Sweet and easy all in one
New perspectives, new perceptions

I just love how the world is with you
It is real, it's the happy truth
Grooving, bouncing all around
Every moment new and round

I just love how the world is with you
Nothing is boring, everything moves
And we move with it, ready to laugh
You can't imagine how much all this I love

I just love how the world is with you
The atmosphere that cuts the fear
The real and crazy all in one
Perfection is made for the imperfect ones

I just love how the world is with you
Hanging out from sunrise till the moon
I embrace these feelings we have and share
All these moments about which I care

I just love how the world is with you
Holding hands in a sweet romance
Everything we need is me and you
Because we change this world into

Something beautiful and true
Something positive and real
I would not know how to feel
In this world without you
Mar 2017 · 145
In Between
Viktoria Mar 2017
There's a decision to make
I gotta make it straight
Always look on the now
Never look back somehow
I am analyzing too much
Don't feel free to keep in touch
Heart is worried, feared of breaking
Heavy is the breath I'm taking
It was long ago that I
Lost my truth up in the sky
Every sparkle, it depended
On the stars that you made shine
I hoped that love never be ended
But how to know without to try
Mar 2017 · 378
If only
Viktoria Mar 2017
Sometimes we don't know
Where to go
If only we learned to cope
Through belief and hope
Mar 2017 · 140
Viktoria Mar 2017
And I felt nothing but fear
And I didn't know at all
How all this could disappear
And I didn't want to fall
And I couldn't tell myself
What I did want and what not
I need to find myself again
To be alone on my true own
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