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A May 16
He said "sweet dreams"
"Goodnight beautiful I love you like you love me"
I smiled, sheepishly
Went to sleep, peacefully
First time in years, I think
No nightmares or jump scares
I used to fear finding happiness
Cause it meant facing my demons
Reliving traumatic experiences
Coping with pain I never wanna feel again
The drugs I used were for numbing effects
To temporarily avoid thoughts haunting my head
Then I met you and finally felt level
Pulled me up from down low
Made me feel comfort and real love
Warm hugs and tight holds
You gave me clear skies
When I was stuck in a storm
The way you look at me with those blue eyes
Is something I adore
We've both made mistakes
And We'll make some more
Far from perfect
But we'll make it work
A Dec 2020
It's not goodbye
It's just for now
Feeling the vibe
Don't make a sound
No longer high
Just coming down
You felt the love I never found
But it's alright, I'll be around
If not in sight up in your mind
All of your thoughts
Even the light, and all the dark
Nothing in life permanent besides the scars
I apologize, we've had it rough
Through thick and thin
I've had enough
I think it's time
We've had our fun
Last kiss goodnight
It's not goodbye
It's just for now
Goodbyes are endless
A Nov 2020
I've been dancing in the rain
   I think I'm losing all my game
     I've been feeling too much pain
        I think I'm really just afraid
          I don't know what else to say
          Cause I still love you just the same
         & I don't think that it will change
     Like the seasons come and go
   But the sun and moon remain
All through Winter, Summer, Spring
You were my greatest fall
    I forgive you for it all
       I was a wish, you were my star
         Another kiss, don't stray too far
             I've been dancing in the rain
               But I'm alright, yeah I'm okay
             No need to worry
           This is just another chapter in our story
             It's not over, it's not ending
          But beginning and progressing
       Time's a concept
      Only real when it's the present
    Anxious future, past depression
  Isn't history if it has yet to happen
So for now, I'm still d a n c i n g
A Nov 2020
This isn't real
I'm sound asleep
Off in the realm of another
Lucid dream
I feel my oxygen depleting
As my heart rate start increasing
Quick to thinking
Can't wake up 'cause I'm still sleeping
Interrupted by the demons
In my head where they be living
It's a nightmare
In this dwelling
It's a place that I call home
It's all I've ever really known
I'm on my own but not alone
I find the warmth within the cold
Is this real? I need to know
Lost between the reality we see and the reality we live
A Aug 2020
Caught her off guard in the car
I snapped a picture
She didnt notice
I laughed
Off into space she stared
Somewhere lost in her head
I think her mind is gone
She's in the zone
Her imagination is so fascinating
I couldn't even begin to fathom
What she might be thinking
She's friends with all her demons
Must be some dark angel
I'm watching her blank faced
No emotion
No expression
No vibe
Where's her energy at
I wonder if she knows I'm looking at her
So calm so content
With just complete silence
It doesn't even sound quiet
Shes off on another planet
When she gets back
I'll forget it ever happened
Some moments don't need pictures to be remembered
A Aug 2020
I don't exactly know who needed this today
But the trauma that you carry doesn't ever go away
In fact there's more, just wait
We're not all built the same
It's absolutely fascinating just how far that you have made it
Still too young to be enduring all this pain and scarring
Truly I am sorry & I do apologize for all the pictures in your head
I know the flashbacks make you mad
And nightmares seem real bad
Sometimes of sleeping you're still scared
But no, you're not better off dead
There's no getting over it, get through it instead
Start coping healthier, keep going forward
You're only still here cause you're strong enough
You're the survivor
Tell your stories with pride
Always keep your head held high
Be ambitious in a world that is so vicious
A May 2020
I'm falling up
            I'm floating down
                              I've had enough
                                            Drugs take the crown
Manipulated By Addiction
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