Dear Best friend,
  I know times are hard for you right now and it breaks my heart to see you in pain.
Your eyes are dull and blank with so much hurt and sadness and you're always with me but never fully there.
I want to help keep you down to earth when you're spaced out
I still love you with all my heart but I miss run around slap happy with innocent laughter all night
Some of my happiest moments are with you, you've been a consistent light in my life and helped me through everything
With every phone call until the sun is nothing but a faint memory, with every minute long hug where I lose myself in your presence and recognize a calm and that squeeze you always do to remind me that I always have you to help me
Ian you are so important even if it feels like the world is crashing around you
I know you feel trapped and suffocated with no where to go anymore, but I'm always a phone call away
I want you to talk to me when something is wrong
You are too great to suffer alone

I've seen your dreams and optimism shift and shatter throughout the years and I've watched as you rebuild your aspirations and instill a sense of confidence in yourself. Every guitar, pen, and eyeliner before a concert that you hold brings am honest smile to my face and I'm so ******* proud of you.
I envy your ability to express yourself so fluently and so well because Jesus Christ are you talented. You've inspired and helped so many of us and I'm so grateful to have your goofy ***

God blessed me with such a beautiful, intelligent, gentle soul in my life and I never want to take it for granted. 
You are so much more than what you see in the mirror 

You're so worthy sweetheart
You deserve all the happiness the world has to offer
Every late night car ride
Every ice cream cone in the back of the truck
Every box of cereal from the discount store
Every sweet tea you instantly regret
Every mosh pit and concert where the stage lights could never compare to your bright and vibrant energy

You're so strong
You always get through every difficult day, every exhausting car ride to work, every moment you feel alone and useless
Ian you always have me there and friends that care and support you
I will never stop worrying regardless of your reassurance, I want you to be okay.
I know you will be
Because Ian,
I love you
And I never want you to lose you

To Whom It May Concern,
    I keep praying. At night I cry and confide in people I can barely recognize as the friends I'm watching dwindle away as I search for an outlet.
I beg of you to not yell, keep your voice at a whisper.
Let your words kiss my cheek with their harshness and soothe my mind with their intent
Let the fear disappear as you touch my face and look in my eyes
I want to feel you again, I've felt the anger, the sadness, the pain but I'm lost
Your gentleness has faded lately and I'm growing scared
Terrified of you leaving over the inconveniences of others and lack of involvement on our part
Your uncertainty in your words cuts into my faith and leaves my eyes anything but dry
I want to take away your pain
It breaks me to know that you're stuck in your head and crushed by your insecurities
I want you to know how I feel and see what I know
No matter how much we scream and cry we'll be alright
I know we can get past the issues as insignificant as we make them
I know the trust can be built up from the ashes it lays in after our mistakes
I'm sorry I cause these issues and I'm sorry I'm not always there when you need me and I'll do better; I promise
Just please don't leave me
I need you.

It's a sunny Wednesday morning and the summer air is quiet
You've been a person I'm always so close to when the opportunity is raised but as always the summer separates us
Over the hot and humid months we never really talk much and Im left to hate the fact that everything is a memory, I keep holding on to the fact that in the fall we can laugh again. Without you existing solely in my heart and in my head
I admire your smile and energetic hugs that last for hours when you can tell I'm upset and it's days like these when I realize I shouldn't take it for granted
I already miss you

I can feel the clock ticking
The soft secondhand creating a rhythm in my veins
I have absolutely no concept of time with you
I lose the rhythm in your fingertips and find myself isolated in your eyes
I've grown dependent on your presence and count the minutes when you're away
You've shattered time in my heart and in my head
It slips through my hands when you're here
And stands still and cold when you're gone

When you leave I'm not sure how long it'll be
But I'm terrified nonetheless

God can send me to hell as long as you never have to suffer in heaven

There are weeds growing from my ankles, they stay calm and at rest
They tell me pretty secrets and keep all of my thoughts suppressed
The weeds are weak and fragile
For I feed them at night with each sob and each tear

There are flowers that start to grow
On my arms and on my legs
They stay idle with a passion and they sway in the wind
They laugh and they scream with joy when I smile or even blink
For I starve the flowers until they can't help but to shrink

I am clumsy and therefore careless
forgetting the hurt and feeble soul
I am sad and therefore hopeless
And its the flowers that pay the toll

So I'm sorry dear flowers for I never meant to cause harm
But these weeds are growing stronger and I've given into their charm

Please forgive me,
I know I've done wrong but I am here to repent
I am lost in the fields and I don't mean to misrepresent
For the flowers and the weeds sing pretty tunes
Calling my names and hoping that I can find you

Would you still write about me if I didn't read them?
Or do you write highly of me out of fear